Have i become mentally retarded?

[Ravioli]

Just wondering if this is normal and if it has happened to anyone else.

I graduated high school about one and a half year ago. Since then i haven't done any type of studying at all, i have wasted away my time with movies, games, parties, traveling, porn, music, and just living life as an underachiever, not even working for my own money. I had good grades in high school, and i was generally just a good kid who did most of the work and passed all the test, although i procrastinated a lot (who didnt?)

So now its time for me to get back into studying, but before i jump into college after nearly 2 years of being braindead, i decided to take some pre-college courses that will prepare me somewhat. Im doing this online as my current living situation wont allow otherwise.

Here is the problem:
I can barely comprehend any of the texts i am reading. I lose focus in mere seconds and i become frustrated and angry as i try to regain focus. I only have enough patience to read a maximum of 10 pages in a book before i lose all reading capabilities, thereafter i take long 3 hour breaks before i can resume studying. I cant formulate my thoughts into writing either, sure i can write in threads on forums, but when it comes to essays and other forms of writing it can take me several hours to finish one paragraph, something that used to take me mere minutes in the past. I over analyze everything i write, and i become frustrated as i cant formulate my thoughts into sentences on paper, my vocabulary has been robbed as i often struggle to find the words i need. I procrastinate everything until the last minute because even the thought of reading a paper assigned to me fills me with frustration and stress. I used to read, take notes, and memorize everything i read, but now i just scan through quickly and try to get it over with as fast as possible so i can close the book and get back on the computer.

I have no idea why this is happening, this stuff used to be easy for me. Now it feels like i have the brain of a retard. I am losing all hopes of studying in college as that will be many many times harder than these puny classes im taking online. How on earth will i survive in college if i cant even read and write properly anymore? Has this happened to anyone else?

 

[Vegeta897]

Who cares what people think about your condition, the thing to do is just keep at it until you're back on track. What do you expect to find from this thread? People telling you you're a retard and that you should go to a psychiatrist or something? This just seems like you wanting to find a reason to continue your lazy lifestyle.

 

[Ravioli]

What do you expect to find from this thread?

Just wondering if this is normal and if it has happened to anyone else.

I want to know if this is something unique that is hard to overcome or if its simply a phase that other people have dealt with rather easy. At this moment im freaking out because im doubting my capabilities to get normal ****ing education. Is ADHD possible to develop at my age? Or is there any other types of causes that can develop over time? I simply seek knowledge about this problem. I am sorry if this offends you.

 

[Chrash]

You're not retarded Ravioli. This is happening to me too, graduated summer 2010. Since then I've been taking some courses, and I have the same problems. And I think its just a discipline thing, I didn't have many courses in my third year of high school, so I think we're just not used to study, read or do math etc.

And thats why you find it so hard

 

[Vegeta897]

I want to know if this is something unique that is hard to overcome or if its simply a phase that other people have dealt with rather easy.

Again, why does it matter? You're going to have to get through it either way.

I am sorry if this offends you.

lol

 

[dfc05]

Sounds normal. Even people who get a bachelor's and get a job in the field they studied, have a hard time if they want to go back to school for a master's. Besides, nobody likes studying in the first place.

 

[Dinnesch]

I can barely comprehend any of the texts i am reading. I lose focus in mere seconds and i become frustrated and angry as i try to regain focus. I only have enough patience to read a maximum of 10 pages in a book before i lose all reading capabilities, thereafter i take long 3 hour breaks before i can resume studying. I cant formulate my thoughts into writing either, sure i can write in threads on forums, but when it comes to essays and other forms of writing it can take me several hours to finish one paragraph, something that used to take me mere minutes in the past. I over analyze everything i write, and i become frustrated as i cant formulate my thoughts into sentences on paper, my vocabulary has been robbed as i often struggle to find the words i need. I procrastinate everything until the last minute because even the thought of reading a paper assigned to me fills me with frustration and stress. I used to read, take notes, and memorize everything i read, but now i just scan through quickly and try to get it over with as fast as possible so i can close the book and get back on the computer.

This is EXACTLY me when I'm at home trying to do (home)work, and actually I've been considering starting a helplife2.net thread about this for a while.
I used to make some money by making websites for others, but that didn't work out very well. Where I would often easily be able to finish a project in like 10 days, they usually took more than 4 months to finish and left me with a bad feeling.(annoyed customer, lots of wasted time)

Solution: Do all your studying at school/university and don't take a laptop with you. And work for a boss who wants you to show up at fixed times.

 

[Ravioli]

Yes i think discipline plays a major part of it, the thing is that no matter how many times i tell myself "get this done today, finish reading this, keep writing" it is simply not possible to follow as my brain wont allow it. If i dont take these long hour breaks, everything i read goes over my head and everything i write is pure garbage. This just adds to the frustration, and as you know, studying while angry is not a great way to study :/

Hopefully this is just a barrier that i will overcome once i get used to studying, its just a bit worrying that its taking months and shows no sign of improvement.

Also, Vegeta, it matters to me because the more i know about it then the better i can deal with it. If someone has a problem, should one remain silent and try to deal with it oneself, or should one deal with it while also at the same time ask others and see if there is anything else worth knowing that might aid a solution.

 

[Vegeta897]

Sorry, I thought maybe the tough talk thing would work. Maybe I'm just a little sick of these helplife2.net threads. Particularly ones like this.

 

[Dinnesch]

Yes i think discipline plays a major part of it, the thing is that no matter how many times i tell myself "get this done today, finish reading this, keep writing" it is simply not possible to follow as my brain wont allow it. If i dont take these long hour breaks, everything i read goes over my head and everything i write is pure garbage. This just adds to the frustration, and as you know, studying while angry is not a great way to study :/

Hopefully this is just a barrier that i will overcome once i get used to studying, its just a bit worrying that its taking months and shows no sign of improvement.

Really, just do all your studying at school without a computer nearby. At least try it for a month, despite being no fun it works really well for me and saves time.

 

[Ravioli]

Sorry, I thought maybe the tough talk thing would work. Maybe I'm just a little sick of these helplife2.net threads. Particularly ones like this.

Try doing it George Carlin style, that would surely work on me.

Really, just do all your studying at school. At least try it for a month, despite being no fun it works really well for me and saves me time.

I wish i could do that, but the school resides in another country lol. Sitting in the kitchen or in the living room doesnt help either, i must find a completely new environment. I should go to the nearest library, thanks for the advise.

 

[VirusType2]

It's harder to write when you know you are being judged on every word. That's why I hate filling out job applications and resumes.

You also need to be interested or you won't really learn well or retain information that you read. Just keep your brain entertain...ed. Take lots of breaks. Some people consider that lazy or not staying on task, but on the contrary, you can probably get more done if you STOP when you lose focus - take a few minutes now and then.

The main thing though, is you are going to have to at least want the end result - which is, I guess - a college degree, which can open up job opportunities that would be otherwise unobtainable.

 

[ríomhaire]

If you're an Olympic swimmer and just stop training all of a sudden and spend two years eating junk and lot leaving the couch you're not going to expect to be able to do even five lengths at once without getting tired. Your brain is just out of practice. There is only one way to get it in shape again.

 

[Raziaar]

YOU DRANK THE WATER!

 

[Dead Phil]

Dude why are you making this thread?, a person can't be born normaly and become retarded; you are born with it.
and if you could type all that with little misspelling errors then you aren't

 

[Escaep]

If you're an Olympic swimmer and just stop training all of a sudden and spend two years eating junk and lot leaving the couch you're not going to expect to be able to do even five lengths at once without getting tired. Your brain is just out of practice. There is only one way to get it in shape again.

It is basically this. You just have to get back into the swing of things. My sister just started back for her masters and she was having trouble at first and quickly got disheartened because she hadn't been in the college/studying mindset for like 3 or 4 years. After a while she became reacquainted with the routine and it is much easier now.

 

[Shem]

The advice above is helpful, but there's one more thing to point out. If your IQ isn't below 76, you're not mentally retarded. I'm not saying you have to take the test, but I'm just giving you that information in case you already know what your IQ is.

 

[NeptuneUK]

You seem to be showing signs of a disorganised thought pattern. You can't just become retarded unless you have recently suffered severe brain damage etc.
I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD but the Dr said it was clear I had it as a child but had coping methods that got me through high school fine. It was only until university it became a major issue. If anything you have signs of high intelligence, you may be getting bored and hence distracted easily to find something more stimulating.
Just some thoughts.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

This is most people in college. Depending on your major, you might not have to read shit at all. I got half A's and B's last semester and I didn't read much of jack shit in any of my classes (I'm in my senior yr of IT). Powerpoints are the most I ever need. But I had started out a Biology major and when it comes to genetics and stuff of that level you have to read your ass off and so that wasn't for me. You should look up your professors before you sign up for a class to see what others have to say about them. I like to read plenty of literature that interests me but give me a Genetics textbook and I'll be lucky to recall much of anything after 3 pages.

 

[PJ]

Rav; I know I haven't posted in a while, but I know this isn't the first thread you've created about your life problems.

I think a major problem of yours is a lack of self confidence and self esteem. You know that you used to get good grades, but now after a year and a bit without those studies, doing stuff you see as things someone less intelligent than yourself would do, you suddenly have a psychological block that's telling you "your brains now permanently ****ed, and you'll never be able to do anything intelligent with your life. You've become less intelligent/sharp/clever". I can tell you that this is not true. All it is is what others have said - you are basically out of practise, out of work routine - it would happen to anyone.

Now all you need to get back into it is the drive/self confidence to keep trawling through it and to know that by the end of it, all this effort will have paid off, and you will have achieved what you want to achieve. And this IS what you want to achieve or you wouldn't be trying at all, and wouldn't be getting angry that its not going as you want it to.

This mental block is preventing you even trying to be interested in what you are studying. A mental block could be compared to temporary mental retardation - but as I have said it can be overcome if you can be arsed enough to overcome it

Hope this helps.

 

[Sheepo]

I can't believe Ravioli made this thread and no one's made all the super obvious jokes yet.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

Go ahead Sheepo.

 

[Raziaar]

Yes, you have.



There, I had to say it since nobody else did.

 

[flamingdts]

That's why you don't sit on your ass for a year.

College isn't so bad. I mean the great thing about college (if you don't study in England) is you learn and finish your course in 3-4 months. After that, you get about 2-3 weeks christmas break. Then go for another 3-4 months, then you get your 4 months summer break.

I'm a first year university student right now, and 4 months break sounds like A LOT of time. I can't imagine not doing anything for a whole year, my guilty conscience wouldn't let me sit and rot away whiles living off money that I didn't earn. I would rather be doing something to better my future or working somewhere so I don't feel like a useless bum, no offence of course.

That being said, you are simply really undisciplined, and that happens when you lay on your ass for a year. And I don't want to sound any more harsh than it already is, but if you have the mindset to be able to go a whole year without working or learning, then you severely lack a subconcious kick in the ass. I suggest you start watching some news about how troubled the economy is, or how many people are out of a job, or how hard it is to find a job. Hopefully, that will motivate you enough to focus for more than an hour.

 

[Danimal]

These threads are actually starting to piss me off, because the person who posts them never turns out insane or whatever.

One day.

 

[morgs]

You'll get pasta tough times, you'll see.

 

[Danimal]

^ We may as well close this thread now 'cause you won't get a better post in it than this.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

a-huehuehuehue

 

[Shem]

Don't worry, Ravioli. I'm sure in a few weeks orzo you'll be fine.

 

[Stylo]

These threads are actually starting to piss me off, because the person who posts them never turns out insane or whatever.

One day.

Don't worry, at least one of the members of an internet forum has got to be at least close to the category of Possible Serial Killer. It could even be me.








You have a pretty mouth.

 

[Stigmata]

These threads are actually starting to piss me off, because the person who posts them never turns out insane or whatever.

One day.

Hey wouldn't it be funny if a current '03er with depression started getting symptoms of schizophrenia ha ha ha

 

[VirusType2]

Stigmata, have you been diagnosed yet? What exactly is it, major depressive disorder?

 

[Stigmata]

Not with schizophrenia, no. I haven't seen a proper psych for about a year so the depression diagnosis might have changed, and right now I'm mostly going on cross-referenced symptoms and health effects. All I know is I'm extremely lonely, scatterbrained, cold, and slowly going crazy.

Schizophrenia (pronounced /?sk?ts??fr?ni?/ or /?sk?ts??fri?ni?/) is a mental disorder characterized by a disintegration of thought processes and of emotional responsiveness.[1] It most commonly manifests as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions, or disorganized speech and thinking, and it is accompanied by significant social or occupational dysfunction.

A person diagnosed with schizophrenia may experience hallucinations (most commonly hearing voices), delusions (often bizarre or persecutory in nature), and disorganized thinking and speech. The latter may range from loss of train of thought, to sentences only loosely connected in meaning, to incoherence known as word salad in severe cases. Social withdrawal, sloppiness of dress and hygiene, and loss of motivation and judgement are all common in schizophrenia.[6] There is often an observable pattern of emotional difficulty, for example lack of responsiveness.[7] Impairment in social cognition is associated with schizophrenia,[8] as are symptoms of paranoia; social isolation commonly occurs.[9] In one uncommon subtype, the person may be largely mute, remain motionless in bizarre postures, or exhibit purposeless agitation, all signs of catatonia.

1. Characteristic symptoms: Two or more of the following, each present for much of the time during a one-month period (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).
   • Delusions
   • Hallucinations
   • Disorganized speech, which is a manifestation of formal thought disorder
   • Grossly disorganized behavior (e.g. dressing inappropriately, crying frequently) or catatonic behavior
   • Negative symptoms: Blunted affect (lack or decline in emotional response), alogia (lack or decline in speech), or avolition (lack or decline in motivation)
   If the delusions are judged to be bizarre, or hallucinations consist of hearing one voice participating in a running commentary of the patient's actions or of hearing two or more voices conversing with each other, only that symptom is required above. The speech disorganization criterion is only met if it is severe enough to substantially impair communication.
2. Social or occupational dysfunction: For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, one or more major areas of functioning such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care, are markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset.
3. Significant duration: Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least six months. This six-month period must include at least one month of symptoms (or less, if symptoms remitted with treatment).

This describes me almost exactly. Everything but the "delusions", and even then it's just up to interpretation of my beliefs. The disorganised thinking in particular is starting to get unsettling. If I'm trying to explain a concept on reddit or something, I start at the beginning, move on to the final point, continue the first paragraph, start the middle, finish the second-last paragraph, finish the first, rewrite the ending, start the third, and by this point I'll probably have realised something new about the problem or situation and will start over completely. This disorganisation has started manifesting in my visual processing as well. Objects in constant nonvarying motion will appear to subtly skip or "jitter" along the path of movement. When playing BC2, on rare occasions I will discover myself to have headshot someone, or to be in a new location, and have absolutely no recollection of how I got the kill or made my way there. This might be better attributed to my totally shot memory, but who knows.

[edit] Oh, and the hallucinations: Mostly sounds. The beep of button presses on my mom's home phone, unintelligible speech in real static/white noise, and music in my head that has started to manifest as original symphonies instead of catchy songs that exist outside my head. I've had these probably since puberty, though the last two have gotten worse in the past six months.

So, yeah, I'll leave it at this for now. What do you think?

 

[VirusType2]

Look, I don't know, but that sounds serious. I don't know where to start. Have you been using drugs? The reason I ask is because I've had some weird shit happen when I was high. You cannot be properly diagnosed if you are using drugs like marijuana.

 

[AKIRA]

Not with schizophrenia, no. I haven't seen a proper psych for about a year so the depression diagnosis might have changed, and right now I'm mostly going on cross-referenced symptoms and health effects. All I know is I'm extremely lonely, scatterbrained, cold, and slowly going crazy.

This describes me almost exactly. Everything but the "delusions", and even then it's just up to interpretation of my beliefs. The disorganised thinking in particular is starting to get unsettling. If I'm trying to explain a concept on reddit or something, I start at the beginning, move on to the final point, continue the first paragraph, start the middle, finish the second-last paragraph, finish the first, rewrite the ending, start the third, and by this point I'll probably have realised something new about the problem or situation and will start over completely. This disorganisation has started manifesting in my visual processing as well. Objects in constant nonvarying motion will appear to subtly skip or "jitter" along the path of movement. When playing BC2, on rare occasions I will discover myself to have headshot someone, or to be in a new location, and have absolutely no recollection of how I got the kill or made my way there. This might be better attributed to my totally shot memory, but who knows.

[edit] Oh, and the hallucinations: Mostly sounds. The beep of button presses on my mom's home phone, unintelligible speech in real static/white noise, and music in my head that has started to manifest as original symphonies instead of catchy songs that exist outside my head. I've had these probably since puberty, though the last two have gotten worse in the past six months.

So, yeah, I'll leave it at this for now. What do you think?

The problem with these things is that there is a condition for every symptom out there. Other than delusions/hearing things it sounds a lot like anxiety/depression.

The problem I'm facing with is HOW can I got back to my normal self. I really hate the thought of being stuffed with pills because then it'll make me even worse I think.

edit: Also, I thought "crazy" people didn't actually realize they were crazy. It seems to me you just have a heightened awareness of things which is what I'm going through. It causes you to over-analyze everything which increases anxiety which then almost always turns to depression.

Now I know this is certainly not normal but there surely has to be a way to get back on track?

One thing that bothers me is that let's say I do get better, the memory of this experience is pretty traumatizing to say the least and so how will I be able to overcome this?

I'm wondering if reading about conditions/talking about it all the time has actually made the whole situation worse. You start to think about it 99% of the time even when you're doing your regular daily activites and it just envelops you to the point where you forget how you once were.

Kind of like taking a skinny person and telling them they're fat, after a while the person is going to actually believe that they're fat.

 

[VirusType2]

The problem with these things is that there is a condition for every symptom out there.

Well, there is always going to be a reason for things that are wrong with people.

I'm not sure if that's what you meant, but no, I think the problem is not that, but rather that so many different conditions have similar or the same symptoms. For example, 100 different health issues can cause something like coughing, so it's very important that you examine every issue in order to get the proper diagnosis.

Other than delusions/hearing things it sounds a lot like anxiety/depression.

The problem I'm facing with is HOW can I got back to my normal self.

The thing is, that even something like Bipolar disorder can have occasional schizophrenic episodes, but that doesn't mean I have "schizophrenia".

I just came up with this example, so maybe it sounds crazy, but the best way I can think of mental disorders - is like the brain is a plate of Thanksgiving food, and the vegetables can end up in the potatoes, and the gravy can end up in the vegetables, and the cranberry sauces ends up on the bread, etc.

It's like cross-talk between the different parts of the brain (which have different functions), and certain signals are going into the wrong parts of the brain. That's how some people have problems where they smell colors, or may see numbers as always having a particular color. 1 2 3

Spoiler

haha, don't worry, I colored them.

I really hate the thought of being stuffed with pills because then it'll make me even worse I think.

Please explain.

Medications can do things like make parts of the brain stop spazing out - being too sensitive to certain signals. They can block or limit signals to reduce symptoms drastically.

 

[Eejit]

"Become"?

 

[AKIRA]

Please explain.

Medications can do things like make parts of the brain stop spazing out - being too sensitive to certain signals. They can block or limit signals to reduce symptoms drastically.

Because I've heard stories that pills cause really bad side-effects/don't work and let's say they do work, then I'll always have the thought that it wasn't actually ME who got through the problem it was the pills. If something like this happens again do I have to go through the same old cycle never actually becoming normal again? When I was in my 4 months of hell during my co-op I got out of my rut myself and that made me feel extremely good about myself. I didn't need any pills, any psychiatrists/psychologists etc. This time around for whatever reason I just can't get over it myself and it's putting me in an even worse mood.

I don't understand how one can be perfectly normal but after a series of thoughts they can somehow be chemically altered. How is it that like 2 months ago I was NORMAL and even when I had really depressing/miserable days, I was able to get over it, I was able to still find happiness in things that I did and now for some reason, that's all changed.

 

[VirusType2]

A mental disorder is a chemical imbalance. Medications (made of chemicals) may be effective at - for example - inhibiting over-excitability of certain regions of the brain that govern mood. There is no cure. But medications can be effective at treating the symptoms. Now the problem is that these chemicals aren't normally found in our body or anything we would consume. Therefore, the chemicals can cause side effects. Undesirable things even as bad as liver damage and such.

But they aren't just going to give you some drugs and say good luck. There is a process. They should be aware of any susceptibilities in your family, interactions with other medications... you will be monitored. If you start to get really fatigued all the time, for example, they may need to do a blood check to make sure there isn't a problem. Some medications require blood checks every so often to make sure that you don't have too much in your bloodstream - this is the case of such commonly used drugs as lithium.

The main thing is "are the medications helping"? That's to be found out. Maybe you won't realize it, while things just will start falling into place.

Personally, I'm willing to put up with a chance of a 90 minute headache, or some slight stomach cramp each time I take my pill in order to live a normal life. I deal with migraines anyway because of my condition. Maybe the medication can fix that problem.

Because I've heard stories that pills cause really bad side-effects/don't work and let's say they do work, then I'll always have the thought that it wasn't actually ME who got through the problem it was the pills. If something like this happens again do I have to go through the same old cycle never actually becoming normal again? When I was in my 4 months of hell during my co-op I got out of my rut myself and that made me feel extremely good about myself. I didn't need any pills, any psychiatrists/psychologists etc. This time around for whatever reason I just can't get over it myself and it's putting me in an even worse mood.

A mental disorder is not a weakness or a test of your will. Don't think like that. Our brains just work a bit different. Often it can be an advantage in certain areas.

 

[YROC]

I haven't done any schoolwork since 2008. A simple worksheet would devastate me.

About the pill thing. One of my good friends has to take adderall because without it, he can't pay attention to anything for more than a couple of minutes. The medication really works for him.