Hell

[-Psy-]

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

The student got an A.

Sneaking around on the internets and I think I just struck gold.

 

[Shift]

lol yea a mate emailed me this, except on mine, it said he got an A+ lol.

 

[Ennui]

That's one of the old files that used to go around in emails and stuff a while ago. I haven't seen it for a long time though, good story

 

[redphoxv]

I doubt that actually happened in real life. The internet's full of witty things for people with all kinds of tastes in humor. Real life is full of non-witty hacks like Carlos Mencia.

 

[CyberPitz]

Ahhh yes. Always a good story.

 

[mindless_moder]

The internet's full of witty things for people with all kinds of tastes in humor.

i loled....

edit: somebody needs to get a little sunshine....

 

[Tyguy]

you never see things on tests like..

Q. What is the circumference of a circle who diameter is 6 inches?

A. Im going to kill you after class.

The Student got expelled.

 

[Ennui]

I wrote stuff like that on my tests in high school all the time, although not death threats

 

[Que-Ever]

i loled....

edit: somebody needs to get a little sunshine....

What are you talking about? I'm about the wittiest thing alive after Rowan Atkinson, and I spend all my time on the internet.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

lol

 

[ríomhaire]

Good story. I got a question worse than that on my Chirstmas exam (My physics teacher is a complete retard BTW).

Given the approximate speed of light in air is 3*10^8 m/s and the population of the Earth as being 6.4345 billion [that's just a random number, I can't remember what he actually gave in the test] evaluate the liklyhood of Santa Claus' existance.

I wrote over an A4 page.

 

[Krynn72]

I doubt that actually happened in real life. The internet's full of witty things for people with all kinds of tastes in humor. Real life is full of non-witty hacks like Carlos Mencia.

Ive written and drew weird things on tests when I dont know the answer. Im sure a bunch of the funny test responses on the internet are true, though undoubtedly some are not.

 

[Murray_H]

I had a 'fill in the blanks' test at uni. I didn't know one of the answers so I put roflcopter in the space. THEY MARKED IT WRONG!

 

[Hellrider]

Someone posted here something similar a while ago..or was it somewhere else...anyway the other version was better

 

[Kula Meenur]

lol

 

[losttheskyagain]

Haha, witty. Probably not real, but I loled.

Occasionally I would write, "No, I'd rather not tell you," to essays... nothing funny like you guys' though.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Lol awesome. xD

 

[Tyguy]

when classes start again we should have a contest for the funniest test answer.....

 

[cheddarrr]

on my math final i wrote see if you can find the snakes!
and then proceeded to draw snakes hidden in the trianges and such on every page..

and then drew some dinosaurs getting pwnt by meteors on the back.

it didnt turn out so well really..

 

[The Monkey]

I doubt they would have such a stupid question at a test on a respectable uni, but funny nonetheless.

Haven't heard it before.