Hetairia: behind closed doors

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Goddamnit I thought this was about Hetalia.

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Crushed my vital regions.
 
As the scheming grand architect behind all of Hetairia's domination plans, I always feel saddened when I'm left out of people's members list. Everyone always forgets the evil genius. Such is life, I suppose. Woe is me.

You're EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME in my book. :)
 
I want to be on the list! Nobody remembers me!

And don't forget Solaris, our favorite member.
 
A Hetairia thread without Raziaar?

Yeah.
 
Solaris' membership is so secret not even we know about it!
 
Pressure was so much behind Het, that's where the Queen song came from.

Pressure registering me
Pressing down on you, no man asked for
Under pressure, that burns a website down
Splits a forum in two
Puts members on lists

That's ok
It's the terror of knowing the forum's meaning
Watching some members screaming, "Let me in!"
Pray tomorrow, my post-count's higher
Pressure on people, members on lists

Chippin' around, posting more and more
These are the days that this forum was made for.

members on lists, members on lists

It's the terror of knowing what this forum's about
Watching CrazyHarij scream, "Let me out"
Pray tomorrow, gets him higher and higher and high
Pressure on people, members on lists.

Turned away from it all like a banned man
All very tense, but it won't work
Keep coming up with Het but it's so secretive
Why, why, why?
Het, het, het, het

Farrowlesparrow laughs. Under pressure, we're cracking
Can't we post ourselves one more picture?
Why can't we post het that one more picture?
Why can't we give het, give het, give het, give het, give het, give het, give het, give het?
'Cos het's such an old fashioned forum
And Pressure dares you to care for the members on the boards of the forum
And Pressure dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves
This is our last thread

This is ourselves under pressure, under pressure, pressure
 
I don't give a shit about any of this, but I'm posting because I saw Brian Damage on that list and I wanted to say I really miss that guy. He was a real credit to Rumors and Speculation.

Me too man.

I'm glad he hasn't been hit by a bus or anything though.
 
Pressure was so much behind Het, that's where the Queen song came from.

Pressure registering me
Pressing down on you, no man asked for
Under pressure, that burns a website down
Splits a forum in two
Puts members on lists

That's ok
It's the terror of knowing the forum's meaning
Watching some members screaming, "Let me in!"
Pray tomorrow, my post-count's higher
Pressure on people, members on lists

Chippin' around, posting more and more
These are the days that this forum was made for.

members on lists, members on lists

It's the terror of knowing what this forum's about
Watching CrazyHarij scream, "Let me out"
Pray tomorrow, gets him higher and higher and high
Pressure on people, members on lists.

Turned away from it all like a banned man
All very tense, but it won't work
Keep coming up with Het but it's so secretive
Why, why, why?
Het, het, het, het

Farrowlesparrow laughs. Under pressure, we're cracking
Can't we post ourselves one more picture?
Why can't we post het that one more picture?
Why can't we give het, give het, give het, give het, give het, give het, give het, give het?
'Cos het's such an old fashioned forum
And Pressure dares you to care for the members on the boards of the forum
And Pressure dares you to change our way of caring about ourselves
This is our last thread

This is ourselves under pressure, under pressure, pressure

Aw man, give this chap his membership!
 
Also screw you Het guys

/bitter
 
AN ANNOUNCEMENT:

We'll be releasing Hetairia 2.0 on September 30th. If you want to join, let me know and I'll see if I can make an appointment for an interview.

Requirements:

- Don't be a cockbag.
- You need to have at least a bachelor's degree in theology
- Ownership of a vagina preferred.
- Mastery of Farsi is a plus.

We can offer you:

- An excellent position to spam from
- The knowledge and experience of fellow Hetairians who may or may not be convicted sex offenders.
- An excellent salary, to be paid in rape dollars.
headdollars.gif

- greg

If you are interested in this position, send your resume and whatever tasteful nude photography you have of yourself or relatives to [email protected].

If you pass through the selection rounds, we will make an appointment with you. In that case, bring swimming trunks and your own beer.

Yours truly,

PvtRyan, a Hetairian 2nd Rank Destroyer of Munros
 
AN ANNOUNCEMENT:

We'll be releasing Hetairia 2.0 on September 30th. If you want to join, let me know and I'll see if I can make an appointment for an interview.

Requirements:

- Don't be a cockbag.
- You need to have at least a bachelor's degree in theology
- Ownership of a vagina preferred.
- Mastery of Farsi is a plus.

We can offer you:

- An excellent position to spam from
- The knowledge and experience of fellow Hetairians who may or may not be convicted sex offenders.
- An excellent salary, to be paid in rape dollars.
headdollars.gif

- greg

If you are interested in this position, send your resume and whatever tasteful nude photography you have of yourself or relatives to [email protected].

If you pass through the selection rounds, we will make an appointment with you. In that case, bring swimming trunks and your own beer.

Yours truly,

PvtRyan, a Hetairian 2nd Rank Destroyer of Munros
September 30th? I've not got my hopes up. You guys are clearly working on Valve Time.
 
If all goes according to plan, we will have destroyed Munro by September 30. In the immortal words of Valve's VP of marketing, Doug Lombardi:

Trust us a little bit.
 
I want to be on the list! Nobody remembers me!
I remember you. Your sig at least. Were you the one who had the epic thread with Vegeta?

I believe I once registered on Hetairia to make a really stupid joke. I was to lazy to make a new e-mail address to register with so a mode immediately saw who I was and I think the account was banned.
 
The only truly notable thing about Hetairia is what a bunch of spammers we are.
our forum software said:
This forum has 85 registered users, 8447 topics and 315726 posts.
Divide 85 in half (at least) and that's about how many of those users are responsible for the 315k posts.

However we've not given a crap about HL2.net in a long time, some years ago we replaced our HL2.net discussion subforum with a Cooking forum to share recipes, swap techniques and discuss the finer points of classic Polish cuisine. Once a year we all pile into buses and ride to Munro's house to let him sample our latest culinary creations.

If you want to get in, make some totally and unforgivably delicious dish of your own invention, painstakingly document the process of its creation with text and photographs, and submit it to the email in the OP. If our minds are blown, you get to the Probationary phase, where you must send said cooked dish to every single member, and we all rate it on a scale of 1-10. If your average rating is above an 8, then you're in! The last person to get in this way was Samon, though, because after that the silly prick's given everyone's dishes a -x/10 score and buggered up the averages.
 
Most know me as having been extremely... uhhh, crazy about being anti Hetairia.

It took me a long time, but I finally came to the correct conclusion that Hetairia isn't worth the time, money, or effort.

And money you ask?

Yes.

Don't ask.
 
And money you ask?

Yes.

Don't ask.

This confused me for a really long time. I'm pretty tired right now, so lemme get this straight. In your head you imagined us asking you to clarify whether or not you actually spent money on it? Then you imaginarily responded to your imaginary question of ours, and then imaginarily responded again telling us not to imaginarily ask for the previously imaginarily asked clarification of your previous statement?


I'm going to bed.




Also, HOLY SHIT STIGMATA IS BACK! Where did you go for so long?
 
Hetairia's still a Munro fan club, right?

I feel so loved :D
 
There used to be a hate-club against me on Het.

I lol'd.
 
A sub community of the community.


That's some hardcore shit.
 
Hey, some people just need the affirmation of being part of an ultra exclusive internets club. It's safe to assume most of them were molested as children and/or had abusive stepfathers and need Hetairia in order to feel secure in life, like they're part of some sick family of fellow aspergers children to reaffirm their nerdgod status.

Think of them as being akin to that group of larpers are your college who look down on people who draw the line at magic the gathering or MMO games and regularly bring up to the other guys that they are something special in order to continue to feel as if they are part of a group that excludes others.

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Hey, some people just need the affirmation of being part of an ultra exclusive internets club. It's safe to assume most of them were molested as children and/or had abusive stepfathers and need Hetairia in order to feel secure in life, like they're part of some sick family of fellow aspergers children to reaffirm their nerdgod status.

Think of them as being akin to that group of larpers are your college who look down on people who draw the line at magic the gathering or MMO games and regularly bring up to the other guys that they are something special in order to continue to feel as if they are part of a group that excludes others.
:LOL::LOL::LOL: Crazy burn dude, you tell em! So how's your posting career on a videogame forum going? Getting all the Half-Life loving chicks right bro :cheers: oh bbl gotta go get beaten by my abusive stepfather.

ok im back. Let no one crimp your style man, you're a great poster on a forum full of great posters you can really relate to. Keep flying high!:thumbs:


edit: This is not a serious post guys, don't worry! I'm not angry at BHC, some of my best friends are baby headcrabs.
 
:LOL::LOL::LOL: ... Keep flying high!:thumbs:

You are clever and funny. I fear a man with the ability and patience to do what you just did. You sure showed him! Nice work you are a credit to our nation etcetera etcetera seriously that was just petty and pointless and digging up old threads is utterly inane and pedantic.

edit: This is not a serious post guys, don't worry! I'm not angry at tGB, some of my best friends are baby green rabbits!
 
You are clever and funny. I fear a man with the ability and patience to do what you just did. You sure showed him! Nice work you are a credit to our nation etcetera etcetera seriously that was just petty and pointless and digging up old threads is utterly inane and pedantic.
I agree, but was it pettier than saying people were molested as kids and are a bunch of asp-- No, I must stop, I cannot question your judgement. Your special font compels me. I renounce my terrible post and subject myself to whatever punishment you find appropriate. May your 7000 posts of wisdom have given you a heart full of mercy.
 
If your average rating is above an 8, then you're in! The last person to get in this way was Samon, though, because after that the silly prick's given everyone's dishes a -x/10 score and buggered up the averages.

That's quite hilarious. Hats off to ye, Chris.
 
I agree, but was it pettier than saying people were molested as kids and are a bunch of asp-- No, I must stop, I cannot question your judgement. Your special font compels me. I renounce my terrible post and subject myself to whatever punishment you find appropriate. May your 7000 posts of wisdom have given you a heart full of mercy.

Also clever, pointing out that I use a font. Points. And my post-count! Cutting words.

You argued against him disliking hetairia by digging up old posts. None of them even had to do with hetairia - that was essentially just a personal attack. It was like you were saying 'your point is invalid because you made a few crappy threads 4 years ago'.

I'm failing to find words to express how trivial and inflammatory your post was.
 
Also clever, pointing out that I use a font. Points. And my post-count! Cutting words.

You argued against him disliking hetairia by digging up old posts. None of them even had to do with hetairia - that was essentially just a personal attack. It was like you were saying 'your point is invalid because you made a few crappy threads 4 years ago'.

I'm failing to find words to express how trivial and inflammatory your post was.
No, I suggest you re-read his post, he was attacking all hets personally by calling abused, antisocial etc. My post pointed out he's not exactly perfect himself by spending five minutes in his thread posting history.

With that cleared up, I'm not going to argue about whether my troll post was worse than his troll post. I'd lose anyway, your sarcasm just hurts me too much.
 
Hey, its pretty great when it isn't my ass getting nerd-stomped!


Continue. :cheers:
 
Oh teej, he has you now!

I have 294 posts cause I am amazing. Am I not? Who disagrees? Come on guys, show those hands.

I miss Harij in all of this. There must be at least something he has to share that doesn't involve

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