9.03am... Aspiring modders steal children's bikes to pursue the renegade head of SDK distribution. Small children join crowd, looking for their trikes and bikes. Minor crying
9.10am... Marc Laidlaw tries to gain entrance to Valve offices by the back entrance. He is spotted. Crazed forumites see him. He sees them. He runs away. Some story-driven fans give chase. He escapes. Minor asthma attacks
9.15am... Some pre-warned Valve employees arrive in their 'Nerd buster' bus. Forumites scattter. Forumites regroup, under the command of Munro. Forumites charge, newbies at the front. Block of forumites charge Valve windows. Minor nosebleeds.
9.25am... Something is thrown from Valve windows. Major scrambing
9.26am... This turns out to be a copy of Unreal 2004, defaced by the Valve guys. Major mirth
9.30am... Gabe Newall turns up in a Mini Cooper. The mini is rushed by adoring fans. Gabe ejects on a booster seat. Booster fails. Gabe starts to fall. Major panic
9.31am... Gabe is caught on the mass of fans. Gabe crowd surfs to work. Major relief.
9.32am... Gabe tries crowd surfing to get to the office. Fans let him down and question about the release date. Gabe points to something 'big and exciting, over there' and runs away. He makes it to Valve offices.
9.45am... Fans chant "We want it on the 30th". This is repeated until it becomes obvious that this won't work.
9.50am... Fans add please to the aformentioned chant. Valve's windows remain closed. Minor crying and sniffles
10.00am... More forumites leave, mumbling something about breakfast.