HL2 haikus

[GorgeousOrifice]

The Half-Life 2 Haiku Series, Volume 1

Half-Life 2 delayed
Whiny fanboys raise a fuss
Get over yourselves.

Can't play anyway
My video card's too slow
Geforce 2 won't fly.

Girlfriend hates Half-Life
Says no to new Radeon
But hogs my xbox.

Headcrabs and ant lions
Need to be shot with bullets
Or maybe railguns.

Easy solution:
Buy a Radeon XT
And get a new girl.

Add more poorly written crap below.

 

[The Mullinator]

Gabe is our god
Why am I speaking haiku?
I feel like a turd.

 

[nsxownzme]

Girlfriend hates computer. She yells at me everyday about it.

 

[@bel]

Half-life 2 owns me
It surpasses any game
I wish it was here



I hate haikus. :S

 

[Estevan]

hahahahaha
hahahahahahaha
hahahahaha


i wish i could use real words

 

[GinSlinger]

I had an old, tired rig. And a bitchy wife that complained about gaming(not that I wasn't working 60+ a week and pullin' in 75+/year...most of which she spent)
Got wise, got divorced, got 2 new rigs now that I have access to my own damn $, got selective and got a gf who loves FPS...W00T!!!

Now...life will be friggin peachy when I've got HL2...

 

[The Mullinator]

HL2 owns all
Doom and John Carmack beware
This is difficult

 

[alehm]

I will sleep tonight
please dont wake me up until
Half life 2 is out

 

[The more on]

Im angry
I updated my computer 2 monts ago
Ago agogo agogo
Now my computer is dated
My 9800pro is no longer the king of the hill
My computer was expensive but more is the electric bill
Im angry and i need to chill.....HL2 Holydays bring it!!!

 

[FictiousWill]

Head crab in my pants
It's trying to eat my balls
Oh god make it stop


Quick shoot the zombie
Say why do these framrates suck?
Crap nvidia.


Hey I am Gordon
Oops, crowbar dropped on my toe
Dammit piece of shit

 

[mutt]

i am glad i have never met Haiku before in my life

 

[Siirolon]

Half-Life 2 is cool
I hope I can play it soon
At least soon enough

 

[droper]

Originally posted by The Mullinator
Gabe is our god
Why am I speaking haiku?
I feel like a turd.

turd is such a good word.

 

[Saltpeter]

Originally posted by GorgeousOrifice
The Half-Life 2 Haiku Series, Volume 1

Girlfriend hates Half-Life
Says no to new Radeon
But hogs my xbox.

Just buy HL2 for the Xbox, problem solved.

 

[DigitalAssassin]

Why all the haikus?
Great, now you've got me started
Oh please make it stop!

 

[DaveKap]

Where is the benchmark?
Thought I heard the 30th...
I am sick of VALVe!

(edited for correct syllable usage)

 

[Dedalus]

Originally posted by DaveKap
Where is the benchmark?
I thought I heard the 30th...
I am sick of VALVe!

(30th is 2 syllables, right?)

tis three.


thir-tee-eth

 

[The Mullinator]

Originally posted by DaveKap
Where is the benchmark?
I thought I heard the 30th...
I am sick of VALVe!

(30th is 2 syllables, right?)

30th is 3.

Thir - ty - ith

EDIT: Damn beaten.

 

[Dedalus]

Originally posted by The Mullinator
30th is 3.

Thir - ty - ith

JINX!!

 

[Flyingdebris]

combine mask in mail
can't wait till gasmask arrives
hurry the hell up

look out a strider
damn his torso got stabbed hard
F. U. Strider freak

 

[Cheetarah654]

Gordon Freeman rocks
Alyx is really damn hot
Barney is the man

 

[Siirolon]

Gordon takes a dump
Turd falls on a combine's head
Combine soldier dies

 

[bastard_loud]

Right what are the fundamentals to Haiku'ing again?

 

[The Mullinator]

Haiku goes
5 syllable line
7 syllable line
5 syllable line

 

[bastard_loud]

Thanks Mullet!

Let's see...

Half-Life 2 . net
is really pwning my nads
with these delay threads

I'm so sorry.

 

[dscowboy]

Once this forum ruled,
Then some f**ktard nut-suckers
ruined it. The End.

"Stop stareing at me
Gordon, resonance cascades
make me all tingly"

BIOZEMINADES
They can make themselves look good
Get out your spray paint

Leaves falling on snow
Headcrab breathes the winter air
AHHH IT'S GOT MY FACE!!!

And now, to switch things up a little, a dirty limerick:

There once was a girl from Black Mesa
Who was on her ninth bottle of cerveza
Some soldiers broke in
And said with a grin
"To hell with Freeman, let's disgrace 'er"

Ok, I admit, that was horrible.

 

[GorgeousOrifice]

Re: Re: HL2 haikus

Originally posted by Saltpeter
Just buy HL2 for the Xbox, problem solved.

You're assuming that if I want to play with the xbox, it's as simple as me buying a game she doesn't want to play and then playing it. You do not take into account the impossibility of prying her off of it in the first place. Plus she gets home from work before I do.

Maybe I should hide the Ghost Recon disks so I can try playing at some point.

 

[nw909]

Oh my fsucking god
Half-Life 2 will be awesome
Jump,shoot,run,shoot,run

 

[bastard_loud]

That's poetry, man.

 

[GorgeousOrifice]

Nifty bump-mapping
on new models like Alyx.
Gordon's gonna score.

 

[FictiousWill]

Fantastic, dscowboy!

 

[dscowboy]

hehe thx