HL2: The Xen Experiment

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Oh, by the way it's supposed to be: TheUltimateHeadCrab not 'TheUltimateHeadC'
Okay, I'm not sure what to do, but here's the prolouge for my story:
Half Life 2: The Xen Experiment
by J.I.Milne.




Prologue:
Seth peered around the corner, he wasn't sure this was where his commander had told him to go. He hoped it was. Well he'd soon find out. He stepped around the corner, his thick black leather armour creaking, startled, some scientists sitting in the corner turned. The place was a mess, everything was in ruins, well whatever. They were going to die. He lifted his MP-7 machine gun and let it rip. When he stopped there were bullet holes everywhere, the scientists looked like Swiss cheese. The wall behind it, well... He walked up to it and kicked it in. It crumpled easily under the weight of his body after being weakened from the machine gun.
He stepped in and gasped, the things he and his squad were meant to keep under wraps were littering the floor, “What the heck?” He shouted, the things turned to him, they jumped as one, he screamed as one grabbed his head. Then he felt some protrusions grow from the mouth of this foul creature, they entered his mouth and then the arms of the strange thing went through his ears, the parts inside him met in his brain and formed something over it, he pulled the trigger on the machine gun, then he taped it down, he tossed it up, it fired at the swarming creatures, then he pulled the pins out of his grenades. Then his mind was taken by the creatures. He would never be Seth again.

“Feed, feed, FEED!!!” he heard his brothers scream, he growled at them, and felt them begin to feed on his newly acquired body, he couldn't let them take it, he growled and stood, and walking picked up the hosts weapon, and pointed it away from him, his brothers died as soon as it drifted close to them, then it stopped shooting, he growled and bashed at the other of his kind. Then he took huge leaps, and then ran out into another area of this forsaken place, he saw dead hosts littering the ground, he turned around, there! A thing wearing orange and welding a crowbar. Though he did not think of it as a crowbar. The man saw him and attacked, he felt the pain rip at him, then his head caved in.

“Bloody hell, how many of them are there? Damn! Those are a lot of head crabs!” Gordon swung his crowbar as hundreds of head crabs poured out of the hall way, he slowly backed away striking out, then he turned and bolted he turned a corner and suddenly he felt time freeze, he turned around, millions, literally millions of head crabs had surged up in a Tsunami wave behind him, one more second and he would have been dead. “Just enough time.” he said through clenched teeth, how come he was not affected? “Time Dr. Freeman?” a voice said, he spun, there striding towards him was a business man, “Who are you?” his face was too pale for him to be alive, maybe he was another new type of these freaks. “I am called the G-Man. And I want you to work for me.” “Why the hell should I?!” “I saved you, did I not? And if you hadn't noticed your planet is one of many, and you are being invaded by a race.” “Okay, I'll help.” “Good, if you had not I would have unfrozen time, then what would have happened?” Gordon turned and looked at the towering pile of monsters. He turned back, but the G-Man was gone, Gordon raced up to the gate and broke it open, he ran out, and sealed the facility, then he heard, “Over here, I have a reading, outside the complex and a massive reading just inside.” Gordon ducked around a corner, a tech walked around the corner with an officer, and with them were Elite. “Hmm. You, take a look inside that door, someone bashed those seams together, not a head crab or head crab zombie. Tech 047, scan for a human life form near us,” “Shit,” Gordon swore and ran for it, “There he is!” he heard the tech shout, then suddenly he heard a scream, he turned, the head crabs had broken out, his enemy became his friend. For now. “Run, run, run Gordon run!” He panted as he ran ro his life, tree branches slapping him as he ran past.
 
Chapter One

I wish someone would take a look, oh well maybe some day someone will find this forum when it's been ground into dust. Chapter One finished:
Chapter One:
Ten years later.
Seth's son, Jacob walked towards the Citadel, his chains clinked, he hoped he would just be taught to build for them. And not be killed. Then he heard a muttering voice he looked, and there walking towards the building was Dr. Kliener. “Kliener. That bastard.” “Quiet!” The Combine yelled and slammed his gun into his chest. He reeled, ever wonder how strong a gorilla was? These guys were stronger. “I don't understand this, I know this city would fall, but like this? Using Xen! How on earth? Did they reach them? Did the portal shut down? Are they still coming? Why me?” moaned the scientist. Jacob sneered at how pathetic Kliener was. “Hate him?” his Combine asked, “hell yeah, he got my dad killed. Then his hero Freeman killed my dad who was possessed by a crab head.” “Don't worry, before the week is out he will be dead, by our hands or by the other workers hands, but you will not become a worker. No, if you prove loyal you shall work alongside us, fighting back against the foolish government, and killing the Resistance. The Resistance fights us, the old government, and of course the Xen, the Xen are crab heads.” Jacob nodded, so Kliener was part of the Resistance ha? Not for much longer!

Jacob felt his legs collapsing as he fought the prisoners, the Combine told him if he could prove himself against ten 'slaves' he could work, if not he would be dead. And of course they had cloned him making it so if he died they would have a loyal replica. He knew the enemy had hand guns, but the guy he was worried about held a Deagle, a Desert Eagle, gold plated of course, One shot from that had landed him on his back, he had quickly rolled let open fire with a Combine Rifle and ducked into cover. Now he was going to die. Someone had found a grenade. He knew he would die, so what the heck? He stepped around the corner letting loose, he shot the Deagle guy, spraying the slaves, then when the ammo stopped, he dropped the clip out and ran, three guys were standing. He ran towards them as they were in shock, then one snapped out of it and fired off a round, he collapsed falling at their feet, then when they laughed and said, “That's what traitors do. Die.” HE roared, and with blackness starting to block his vision picked up the grenade and pulled the pin. The last thing he remembered before he died was, 'Damn, why me? It is just not fair.'


Captain Suanga spun as a soldier walked up to him, “Sir.” “Yes, brother Combine?” The Combine soldier acknowledged the praise with a bow, “The human soldier, Jacob Craden, he is most surprising.” “Why? Did he survive?” “He sought of survived, the most amazing thing is, when he knew he was going to die, he just went at them, he died trying. Or rather he died with his enemy.” “Hmm, show me the video tape.”

“He is powerful, just like that soldier in H-base. Strange, call in his officer. I remember something about H-base he said.” “Yes sir.” The soldier saluted and walked away, he waited for the officer to show up, his name was......... Officer Oriely, what a human name.
“Sir?” “It is about Craden, do you notice the similarities between these two people?” “I do sir, Jacob Craden's father was that man, now Jacob has a hate of all involved in the BM project before us, and also the Xen.” “Useful, you realise we have Dr. Kliener, the main man who established the Xen portal.” “Yes, I was with Jacob when that happened. I have told him that Kliener would die before the week is out. By us or him.” “Let's give him that chance. Tomorrow, when Jacob is recovered and walking away with the Combine, get Kliener in his path.” “It will be done.” He smiled. Today was a great day for the Combine army. He remembered possessing a scientist, Freeman had attacked him, he had hid in a corner and he had seen Seth Craden tear up his brothers, then he had seen Freeman kill the one who had taken him. But now his brain had been placed in a Combine body, and of course his brain power was higher than the Combine, he could follow thirty different orders without thinking much about it. Yes, it was good to be a Xenaten.
 
Chapter Two

I wonder why no-one is here?
Chapter Two:
Jacob walked in time with the rest of his Combine allies, he was marching out the gate, he was in the lead of the army, a high honour, only two other people had ever survived his type of training, wonder why? Then he saw Kliener stumble out into his path, the Combine who had pushed him ducked back into the shadows, Jacob considered, was he supposed to kill Kliener? Was this a test to prove his loyalty? Should he keep walking? Jacob decided to ignore Dr. Kliener unless he got directly in the way, Kliener recovered and went back into the crowd, he was glad he needn’t have to make a decision.

“I am your officer, this group will be in charge of keeping the rats off the streets so to speak, we will be destroying the Xen, head crabs you might know them as, and the Xen zombies, you can guess. As well as blowing the heads of a few key Resistance members. Establish base camp here, frontline warriors establish and patrol a perimeter around camp. Move!” Jacob was a frontline, the rest started arguing about where the perimeter was to be set, he was the only human in the frontline, he wasn’t interested in getting into a fight with the Combine but… Order needed to be founded.
“Combine!” They turned to him; anger sounds came from their black masks. “I believe the perimeter needs to be close, but not too close, why not establish on close to base and one a bit further out?” “This hew-man makes sense!” One hissed, another growled, “Damn him! He knows nothing of fighting! He barely knows what a Xen looks like! I bet he will be dead by eight days!” Jacob glared at him, meeting the challenge, “I know what a Xen looks like, I have studied them for ten years, ever since my father died at H-base by the Freeman.” They growled at the mention, the leader of the wider perimeter said, “Let us do what he said, he probably joined to kill Freeman, let us hope he passes close enough, he deserves to die eternally!”



Sorry it is so short this time. I change the chapter size for the events.
 
THis is pretty interesting but its kinda hard to under stand whos saying what sometimes
 
It's a pretty original premise, that's for sure- but I'd agree that you should maybe break the paragraphs up a tiny bit more, it'd help make it a little more readable.
 
Yay! Someone found my story!!
Don't worry I'll try to fix up the paragraphs, I always do that.
 
This story really shows some promise.Cant wait to see what happens next.
 
Chapter Three

I think I've fixed the paragraphs a bit.
Chapter Three:
Jacob walked around the perimeter with Gordainatkah. Gordain had served the Combine for nearly three planet invasions. He was an old veteran. Gordain stopped him, listen, if you continue to interfere I will have Migsian on you! You know who she is?” “No, but you get out of my face!” “Migsian is the best Combine Assasin, I saved her life once so she works for me. Now do what you have to but no more. When you find the chance. Desert. I will cover it up.”
Jacob glared at him, and then he felt a crawling feeling moving up his spine. He spun, and motioned for Gordainatkah to duck, the Combine sneered, and then his head smeared all over the concrete, Jacob swore, The Resistance!
“Code Eighty-Nine-Red! Position Twelve-o-sixty-two!” He shouted barely remembering the codes. Then he ducked into a pile of rubble, One Resistance member ran out into the open rifle blazing, when he began reloading Jacob popped up and blew his head off, he ducked down again as six spread out in a flanking manoeuvre, he was ****ed if they didn’t get here quickly.
Then suddenly his unit appeared from the rooftops, moving in from all angles, man they were fast, the Resistance members quickly aimed up as the Combine sailed down, they started ripping at the defenceless Combine, he sneered, honourless cowards! He fired a couple of times at the Resistance; they tried three for land three for sky, but more of his unit landed and together they wiped out the members.
He heard a cursing, he saw an old man running away. Kliener! He had escaped? He raised his gun to fire, and then his officer pushed the gun down, “Kliener must live, the Xenaten has said.” “Who the hell is the Xenaten?” “Our leader.” Jacob glared, Xenaten? Sounded like it was related to the Combine, maybe he was a mutated Xen. Whatever he was Jacob would find a way to kill him.

“Today we will be guarding three blocks of houses. They hold all civies.”
Jacob nodded. Maybe this would be more exciting then killing drug dealers who ran around and cried and begged to no end. Assholes.

Jacob heard an alarm go off, his suit was warning him, an unmarked civ? He ordered a search, his three friends spread out, alearting everyone. As he opened a door he heard, "Over here hide in here" He glanced around, then he rushed in, he saw Freeman running away, FREEMAN!! "Code red Code red aleart code red in faction six!!" He yelled into his maike, he knew his officer was deploying a camera droid, this was going to be one hell of a chase. Gordon had survived H-base or Black Mesa, then had survived in hiding for ten years, only to appear under the Combine's very noses. He let out a war cry and ran, he started shooting, Gordon ran up the stairs, the roof, the camera droid would get him, as he ran into the open he saw Gordon, momentarily blinded, He threw a grenade, Gordon rolled away from it, the grenade blew up sending paint cans flying, the paint splattered making it look like the grenade had left colour everywhere.
Then suddenly he felt a daze, Gordon had thrown a paint can at him, he couldn't see the paint was covering his visor, he heard men running, he heard bullets fly past, and then he heard Godon say, "Some timing!" Then he heard angry shouts and he heard the bot say "Secter eightyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" as it blew up from being hit by something. Damn. When he finally got his visor clean it was night-time and they had lost Gordon.
 
I'd say you need to find more ways to articulate who is speaking.
 
eatbugs? You banned? So shut your face!
The others might find it easier to read. One thing at at time.
 
Hey guys! I've finally gotten on the internet again!
Since everyone is putting there story on another site I've decided to build a website for stories. Mine would be the main one of course! But I'm getting a web builder now. It's call
ed AceHTML 5 Freeware! It's really cheap wonder why? But I thnik it's good please see if you'd like YOUR fanfic on this site! Email: [email protected] OR [email protected] I read [email protected] more often!
 
CRAP! The 'FREE' thing needs some stupid $100 registration thing!
ANother 'FREE' web buolder needs fifty dollar templates!
Anyone got anything?
Please?
 
Great! I found a real free one, totalmechandiser, if you want your fan fic there please email me at sluggamingindustries and I'll read it then paste your fan fic there!
 
Chapter Four Finally

Sorry about the lateness of it all, i've been bored...... Here it is finally.

Chapter Four: The First Xen Experiment.


Jacob felt so annoyed after failing to stop Gordon when he had the chance. The Combine were annoyed too, the leaders were so annoyed that they had him thrown into a prison in the Citadel. He wished he could get the hell out of there but with Sixty Combine in the hall? He was in deep. Then he heard a growling. What the hell? This cell was supposed to be empty. He turned and swore. The head crab reared back and leapt at him he punched at it and it bit down hard on his hand, he screamed at the searing pain, he looked, poison dripped from the fangs, the dumb Combine were always making species better for more brutal attacks.
He threw it off his hand, it bounced off the wall, it shook itself as if dazed and leapt at him again, this time he was more prepared and knew its new weapon, he grabbed it just before it bit and slammed it against the wall, he kept doing so until it stopped moving and the wall was dripping from it, then he tore it in half, these were the creatures which took his father. He laughed at his handy-work; A Combine trooper peered into his cell, “Nice work, but that is a tiny victory. Behind you.” It said in its strange voice, he turned confused, he gasped, stepping out of the shadows were hundreds of poison tooth head crabs. Holy crap.
 
Chatper Five

Back....

Chapter Five: The Survival


Jacob shook his head in disbeleif, the head crabs were menacing, and his father had killed hundreds of them. Freeman had killed millions. Then he understood, Freeman had been a scientist, unknowing of what WOULD happen, he had created a whole to the Xen planet, and then he ha been attacked, confused and scared he had fought his way out, only to have his 'saviours' blast machinegun fire at him. He felt anger, why had the government killed innocent scientists? WHY!? Then he grabbed the dead head crab and ripped its fangs out, he had a weapon now, he leapt, first to attack, and wished he hadn't. "The fool attacks first", a Combine saying, it was true. He missed and the head crabs crawled on to him, they sunk there fangs in, he screamed and furiously stabbed at them, soon though the pain was too much, he dropped his two poison daggers, the Xen tore at his flesh, blackness bloked his periphial vision, it was closing in, he was feinting, NO! If he feinted he would die! NO NO NO NO NO!!! He screamed, this time he didn't stop howling, tears were flowing freely down his face, mingling with his blood, if he could have seen his face he would not have recognised it, it was just deep cuts with a green liquid pouring out of it, poison. His clothes were in shreds, he then used his last energy to jump up, then he fell on his face, he felt the Xen trapped underneath trying to eat their way out. He passed out.
 
Help

I want to add a new character, who do I add? I want to add someone everyone knows, NOT an original character, one in half-life HL2.
Please post your ideas.
 
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