HL2: What's the worst that could happen?

[CyberGeek]

VALVE OFFICES, HOMES BURNED DOWN. HALF-LIFE 2 CANCELLED
Redmond, WA - Sep. 12, 2003 - Valve Software announced today that the Valve Software office has caught fire and been completely destroyed. "I received a call from Erik [Johnson, Project Manager] at three in the morning, telling me to get down to the office right away," Gabe Newell, founder of Valve Software and managing director, said. "I drove over to watch in horror as our office burned to the ground."

The office held the current build of Half-Life 2, Valve's eagerly anticipated title. The game was scheduled to go gold the next day (Sep. 13, 2003.)

Gabe Newell stated that the company kept monthly backups of their progress in several employee homes, but while the employees were watching the office burn down their homes caught fire and burned to the ground. As such all copies of Half-Life 2 have been destroyed.

"We're devastated," Yvan Charpentier, Software Developer, said. "Five years of work, gone." Valve Software will move into a new office and begin development of a different game. Half-Life 2 will not be recreated.

Police have arrested John Carmack from rival game company iD Software for starting the fires. When asked to comment on his actions Carmack stated, "Now people will have to buy Doom III! No competition! We will dominate the industry! We have the best product again! In your face, Valve!" followed by laughing so cold it was reported to cause Lucifer to sudder.

When asked to comment, a police officer stated, "You would think CyberGeek could have done a fake press release on April 1, but nooo, he had to do that stupid Nintendo Contest thing."

 

[Ro@cH]

Worm causes millions of dollars worth of data loss for VALVe Software

The recent uprise of the W32/Blaster worm that affects Windows users has infected the computer network over at VALVe Software, a Washington based game-developing company. They were developing Half-Life 2, a sequel to the popular first person shooting game called Half-Life. The infection was started by opening a file attached to an e-mail that originated from id Software, another popular game-developer.

Experts say that all data that was resident on the computers used by VALVe to develop the game was wiped by the virus, causing the Half-Life 2 engine, called Source, to be lost forever. Coincidentally, the data backups that are normally made every day, were nowhere to be found. Insiders report that a sinister man with a blonde pony tail was seen wandering inside the VALVe HQ the day before. Police have already requested a search warrant to investigate John Carmack's private belongings, but apparently this request was denied by their superiors. Some people speak of a conspiracy.

Gabe Newell, founder and managing director from VALVe, was not available for comment as he was put in psychiatric custody shortly after the start of the virus attack.

 

[Brink]

First obvious mistake : Valve does NOT make Counterstrike.

 

[Zyphria]

Duh! Thought I'd tip people off before the end