How do you wipe?

[BF2slut]

Just yesterday I found out some people sit to wipe after dropping a load, and some people actually stand up to wipe.

I thought it was fascinating to hear so many views on it.

Discuss.

 

[KoreBolteR]

ok. discussion ended.

i win.

 

[Foxtrot]

Who the hell stands up?

 

[Pesmerga]

I take 4-5 connected toilet paper peices and fold em up in a square. I then sit up slightly, not standing, but enough to reach under there and wipe. I start from back and move up to the front, making sure to keep the two primary fingers firmly against the tissue and against the buttocks. I swipe slowly and judge the damage. If more toilet paper is needed, I fold the used one in half and reuse it. If more is needed, I repeat the process until my bottom is clean.

 

[StardogChampion]

I stand up proudly and dab it with a tissue, but when I'm taking a poo...

I lean forward a bit and wipe. Always from the bottom of the ballsack then backward, then back and forth a little bit.

 

[Dalamari]

Stand up, baby wipes

clean as a f**king whistle

 

[baxter]

Just yesterday I found out some people sit to wipe after dropping a load, and some people actually stand up to wipe.

I thought it was fascinating to hear so many views on it.

Discuss.

Why would you be fascinated by this ?

 

[mindless_moder]

somebody call a moderator now ! before it gets too graphic!.

 

[h00dlum]

You dont happen to be a member of the swedish FB forums?

 

[Vegeta897]

Reminds me of the "how many pieces of toilet paper do you use to wipe" thread.

Those were the days... Shuzer was there!

 

[Raziaar]

You guys are just too much...

<unleashes the Bliink> Muahahahahahahahaha!

 

[Ennui]

how do you sit down to wipe? that involves smearing your wang all over your hand. I raise slightly, not standing but not sitting, and wipe. with toilet paper.

 

[outpost]

I don't wipe

 

[Ames]

With a tactical nukulearrr warhead. Wipes it off the face of the Earth.

 

[willyd]

Be a man
Use your hand

 

[Raziaar]

With a tactical nukulearrr warhead. Wipes it off the face of the Earth.

And contaminated for many years to come.

 

[Dalamari]

Be a man
Use your hand

grow some balls, use the wall

 

[Laivasse]

While sitting down, I reach down behind me and wipe forward, towards nuts. If any further wipes are required, they are often performed in the opposite direction, and sometimes standing up, depending on my mood.

This stance and motions are ones that I have adapted and hybridised from Capoeira and Aikido. I call this technique the "Avalonian Double Bluff".

 

[Alan Freeman]

For some reason when im done then i go to wipe 3 out of ten times i go, i go to wipe and nothing there hmmmmm VAPOORIZE anyone

 

[el Chi]

Lordy, lordy. This thread represents a new low in these forums. And that's saying something.

 

[Ennui]

just answer the question you sexy english drunkard you

 

[Kouler]

I grab about 5 pieces and just scrunch it up and wipe, usually gets everything in 1 or 2 go's.

 

[evil^milk]

Reminds me of the "how many pieces of toilet paper do you use to wipe" thread.

Those were the days... Shuzer was there!

heh, yeah.

i thought of varg|hund <3

 

[el Chi]

just answer the question you sexy english drunkard you

I CAN'T HELP WHAT I AM!

For the record, I am NOT drunk at the moment. I haven't had a drink in nearly 19 hours. Soak THAT up.

 

[Dag]

grow some balls, use the wall

Make your day,
Use a Buday.

 

[Burn]

Edit: Someone allready said how this forum reached a new low. So I'll go with this : I want to punch everyone who answered the question in this thread right in face.

 

[Pesmerga]

Who shall dare to sink lower!? Which of you creative {fe}males can find new ways to perturb the quintessentiality of Off Topic?

 

[Burn]

Who shall dare to sink lower!? Which of you creative {fe}males can find new ways to perturb the quintessentiality of Off Topic?

Im game, give me afew moments to think of somthing.

 

[jonbob]

How do you wipe?

Thoroughly.

 

[Dag]

Lordy, lordy. This thread represents a new low in these forums. And that's saying something.

I guess the only direction is up, right? :cheers:

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

I sit, it allows the cheeks to spread more and you can get more fecal matter from hard to reach nooks. Uses less toilet paper and less time, with more efficiency.

 

[el Chi]

I guess the only direction is up, right? :cheers:

You'd think... :hmph:

 

[Ames]

You'd think... :hmph:

How does one urinate?

AND I CAN GO WAY LOWER FOR AWESOMSHENS.

 

[Hazar]

How does one urinate?

I suggest you google tub you know who

 

[Ames]

Why don't you?

 

[Hazar]

you were the one wondering...

 

[Dalamari]

How does one urinate?

In your mouth

OMFGPWNDKTHXBAI!

 

[Ames]

In your mouth

OMFGPWNDKTHXBAI!

IN YOUR MOM!!!!!!

BURNNQqq!~1111

:bonce:

 

[RakuraiTenjin]

ON HOLY BOOKS.












LOL OFFENSIVE


But honestly, to stay on topic, I really don't know of many people at all that wipe standing up. I'm wondering (honestly) what the ratio is of male pee-ers that sit/stand up. I stand up but I know there are people who sit (it doesn't count if you also have to do a number 2 because everyone sits then)

I'm also wondering if anyone has techniques to be able to pee without doing number 2 when you have to real bad (IE: If short on time, but pee is taking priority) Usually when I pee I just gotta do both at the same time if it's ready.

 

[el Chi]

But honestly, to stay on topic

Why on Earth would you want to do that!? In fact, I feel ashamed for merely contributing.