How to Impress

[VirusType2]

How To Impress A Woman

Compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine and dine her,
buy her things,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.


How to Impress a Man

Show up naked.
Bring cold beer.


-unknown author


Discuss.

 

[ktimekiller]

seems about right

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Women - If it doesn't fit, force it.

Men - If it doesn't fit, **** it.

 

[Acepilotf14]

How to win a woman: Be a total prick to her.

How to win a man: I wouldn't know, since I'm a heterosexual.

 

[Sheepo]

How to win a woman: Be a total prick to her.

How to win a man: BLAHBLAHBLAH I'm supergay

Fixed

 

[Reginald]

Men have penises.

Women have vaginas.

 

[Nomad]

Men have brains.

Women have vaginas.

Fix'd?

 

[Druckles]

Men listen to their penises.

Women have vaginas.

Fix'd.

Edit:

Fix'd?

No, really no :/. Quite the opposite.

 

[eraser]

seems about right

Pretty much.

 

[Acepilotf14]

Disregard that, I suck cock.

fix'd

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Poopfist

Poopfist.

 

[Acepilotf14]

Poopfist.

Indeed.

 

[evil^milk]

Poopfist.

 

[Druckles]

Poopfist.

You make me lol sometimes.

 

[Shamrock]

Rape both.

 

[eraser]

Poopfist.

Their next album will be ****ing poopsome.

 

[Dalamari]

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=110846374

 

[DEATH eVADER]

How to Impress a Man
Show up naked.

But that is no challenge. She should just be a good seductress

That would get my heart racing no matter the situation

 

[Sheepo]

fix'd

I didn't say that!

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=110846374

Defenestration Station **** YEAH.

 

[Omnomnick]

This thread isnt going to last long

While I'm here, Poopfist.

 

[Tyguy]

all girls want is a guy with a big nose....its science

peefoot?

 

[VirusType2]

all girls want is a guy with a big nose....its science

You mean a big dick?

I've got a big nose, and it's definitely not helping.

 

[Kase]

Show her your 1337 fps scores oh yehh

 

[Eejit]

What if the guy doesn't like beer?

Also striptease > showing up naked.

 

[Druckles]

If I were in a relationship with someone who willingly submitted himself to the OP's male stereotype it wouldn't stay a relationship for very long at all lol

How to impress toaster-chomsky: don't be ****ing boring

http://www.2shared.com/file/4018094/f1dc653b/toaster.html

 

[VirusType2]

If I were in a relationship with someone who willingly submitted himself to the OP's male stereotype it wouldn't stay a relationship for very long at all lol

It's not a stereotype.

It's common knowledge that looks are more important to men and that sex is 'all guys want'

 

[Sheepo]

12 backstab spree in TF2? Otherwise I'm screwed.

 

[eraser]

If I were in a relationship with someone who willingly submitted himself to the OP's male stereotype it wouldn't stay a relationship for very long at all lol

Well of course, but then this thread wouldn't have really taken off.

There would also be less Poopfist in the world.

 

[Nomad]

No, really no :/. Quite the opposite.

Goddamit. I can never get those right.

I think OP's joke makes a lot of realistic sense.

 

[Druckles]

That's probably because it's true.

 

[VirusType2]

That's just because the only positive quality that a woman has is her physical appearance.

It's not like that, it's just very important. Anyway, they don't have to be beautiful to be beautiful.

If you've ever seen a guy go crazy about a girl, it's because the girl has looks and other positive qualities.

For example, blowjob skills, hiding a bag of weed in her vagina, lying to police for you, etc.

 

[Druckles]

That's just because the only positive quality that a woman has is her physical appearance.

You have pussy.

 

[VirusType2]

lol'd

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Women also make for some good crocodile skin boots.

 

[_Z_Ryuken]

I hate beer. A girl once tried to impress me by drinking a lot of beer. Man, what a ****ing dumb ****.

 

[VirusType2]

idiot. that was your only chance.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

To rape.

 

[_Z_Ryuken]

idiot. that was your only chance.

No that's why i say she's dumb, because she was drunk and I was not!


Oh ho ho ho.

 

[VirusType2]

It sucks being around drunk people when you are sober, and vice-versa.


... if she was trying to impress you, then she must have really liked you right?

So tell her to stop acting stupid and get in the ****ing sack. Not in those exact words of course.