Humanity in Peril - check for brain worms now. This is not a drill.

short recoil said:
Well the thing is, it dosn't get any worse unless you hammer your immune system and if you are fine with the way you are now and you have got it, whats the problem?
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just the whole concept of worms in brain...
 
This is caused by excessive amounts of masturbation. All pleasure comes at a cost. We're basically all doomed.
 
Beerdude26 said:
Oh so that's why the French always surrender :p
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Where do these French army jokes come from anyway? What evidence is there to say that the French army is worse than anyone elses?
 
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/text/france.html

darth.jpg

All too easy...
 
Why are they ragging on Italians? Italians are awesome.

People seem to forget the romans were ancestors of Italians, one of the greatest militaries in the world.
 
Sulkdodds said:
I think this is particularly relevant on a half-life website. It's probably an alien invasion or something.

We're all standing in this thread...but some of you aren't human. I know I'm human - but I don't know about you. So we're going to do a little blood test...
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Ahahahahahah that brings me to the good old days of John Carpenter...... R.J. MacReady ftw! I know I don't have it... AHhhhh oh GOD.... GURGLEAGHAHGGHHGHHHHH.... /Me infects peoples, jumps off house.
 
JNightshade said:
/me runs the f*ck away

anyway, I've known about this for a while.
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OHHHHH NOOOOEEEES! You have been working with the government too?!
 
Sounds like BS to me...however, I do feel the strange urge to make perfectly shaped patterns in a cornfield that represent incredible algorithms mankind has yet to unravel...
 
OvA said:
Sounds like BS to me...however, I do feel the strange urge to make perfectly shaped patterns in a cornfield that represent incredible algorithms mankind has yet to unravel...
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must...resist...urge!
 
Boogymanx said:
EVEN WORSE... WHAT IF CHUCK NORRIS HAS IT?
D:
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What is it with this fascination with Chuck Norris? I think i have heard at least 10 wise cracks about him in every forum i go to. Just wondering, becuase i seriously dont know why you people (not racial) are so obsessed with him.

PS: this is my favorite Chuck Norris post ...

Infesord said:
Emn1ty said:
Infesord said:
Emn1ty said:
Well, that would be scary, but what would they do for more ammo?
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Get Chuck Norris to deliver a complete round of roundhouse kicks. The opposition will be done in no time :D
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This is a chuck norris phase, isnt it ...
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No I made it up.

And yea... I'm not going to around much longe... OH SH***skdjfsfksnjd bN 5452

Hi everyone, this is Chuck Norris. Dont' worry about Infesord. He is in good hands now :devil:
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It makes women promiscuous AND intelligent.

I love those bugs. <3
 
theSteven said:
It makes women promiscuous AND intelligent.

I love those bugs. <3
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That's impossible. We all know that women only have a brain big enough to store the ways to cook food and how to use a vaccuum.
 
CyberPitz said:
That's impossible. We all know that women only have a brain big enough to store the ways to cook food and how to use a vaccuum.
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Don't forget the buisness knowledge to BUY a 1000 dollar vaccum.
 
Jangle said:
As with anything that happens, Short Recoil will save us.
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Only when Munro will come back from the dead and do a little dance for us :dozey:
 
Emn1ty said:
What is it with this fascination with Chuck Norris? I think i have heard at least 10 wise cracks about him in every forum i go to. Just wondering, becuase i seriously dont know why you people (not racial) are so obsessed with him.

PS: this is my favorite Chuck Norris post ...
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It was a fad that became horribly worn down into the ground, yet some people still rave on about it in the hope that they can find cheap laughs, which they don't.
 
Axyon said:
It was a fad that became horribly worn down into the ground, yet some people still rave on about it in the hope that they can find cheap laughs, which they don't.
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hater D:

anyway, yes, I've known all about the brainworms... doesn't mean I have them, oh no! I... I think I must be immune or something.
1_fluffy.jpg

eek! there's another one.
 
I'll just drink them to death ! BASTARDOOS
 
Que-Ever said:
hater D:

anyway, yes, I've known all about the brainworms... doesn't mean I have them, oh no! I... I think I must be immune or something.
1_fluffy.jpg

eek! there's another one.
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EAT IT!! DONT LET IT INTO YOUR EARS!
 
Shoot the cats! It took a while to say that.
 
Oh Jesus Christ, don't look up Kitten in Google Image Search, the first result is a f*cking stalker.
 
ríomhaire said:
Oh Jesus Christ, don't look up Kitten in Google Image Search, the first result is a f*cking stalker.
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There are multiple kinds of stalkers Riom, be specific, like a stalker, a Combine Stalker, etc......
 
TollBooth Willie said:
There are multiple kinds of stalkers Riom, be specific, like a stalker, a Combine Stalker, etc......
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A Jewish woman from Budapest, victim of starvation experiment in the Dachau "hospital" (Nazi concentration camp)

Wow that was really sad. It sounds funny to say but she literally did look like a Stalker from Half Life 2, it's just disgustingly saddening though :(
 
.....................................................Lord Saddler
 
Hello, my name is Doctah Manko Loreal. I am an epidermal biologist working at the Hazardous Endemic Testing Association and we are working on developing a cure for this Toxoplasma gondii parasite hand-in-hand with the CDC.

However, I feel that it is my duty to warn you all of the specific details and nature of this parasite. There is a clear and present danger associated with the Toxoplasma gondii parasite and the Bush administration is disguising it in a government cover-up. If you do not heed my warnings, there is an extremely high probability that you will die very soon. It may be weeks, months, or even years but a large portion of the population will soon succumb to the Toxoplasma gondii parasite. The resulting casualties will easily outnumber those of the media-extravaganza avian bird flu. We are estimating over half the American population wiped out by this killer.

These are the facts you must know in order to protect yourself from Toxoplasma gondii. If you believe that you are already infected with the parasite, please skip down to the next section.

History of the Toxoplasma gondii parasite:
  • In the fall of 1999, the separatist rogue nation of Fukakistan, a conglomerate of exiled or wanted world leaders of the Middle East began developing a parasite that would be able to devastate a large number of the Western population. To do this, they brainstormed numerous plans that would make it possible to totally weaken the economy of the United States which would in turn lead to an even Greater Depression and drag all the other nations allied with the West down with it. However, this conglomerate realized that they had to attack from multiple angles with many different ways to destroy the Western population. Please note that they were not in any way affiliated with the attacks on American soil on September 11th, 2001. The main plan included a swift and devastating attack using ICBMs that were loaded with nuclear warheads on all major American cities. This plan was coupled with numerous other contingency plans in the event that the nuclear launch failed.
  • Along with several other contingency measures, the Toxoplasma gondii parasite was developed through a subtle means of infection in mind. It was to spread swiftly through American livestock and slowly destroy the nervous system. The parasite was to attack and cause damage to the astrocytes in the brain, creating tissue cysts in the muscles and the brain of the infected animals and humans. The immune system would have not been able to detect the parasite and would ignore it. The parasite was to induce behavioral changes in the infected persons, causing schizophrenia and undermining their sanity. Slowly, the infected persons would become more and more paranoid in their actions. The conglomerate believed that the world leaders and the United Nations would turn against each other after the main terrorists attack due to their paranoia. Tensions would slowly elevate until the breaking point was reached and nuclear war would destroy the nations of the West.
  • Before the Fukakistan conglomerate was able to finish its nuclear weapons program, several squads of soldiers drawn from multiple nations were able to prevent and destroy all the nuclear weapons research that had been created. However, before the teams had reached the Fukakistani base of operations, a weaker form of the Toxoplasma gondii parasite was released into a major American public. Though harder to infect the humans, it was still enough to easily infect American livestock and domestic animals. The parasite had not been developed to the full strength envisioned by the Fukakistani conglomerate but over time, the paranoia and nerve damage induced by the parasite would have been enough to kill a person or start a nuclear holocaust. This is why we must eliminate the parasite. Otherwise, millions could die from the parasite and its after-effects.
  • The Bush Administration, in order to, keep the Western population from panicking, has issued a government cover-up that would allow the CDC to develop a cure for the Toxoplasma gondii parasite. At this moment, we are trying our hardest to destroy this threat to the American way of life. All traces of the Fukakistani conglomerate has been eliminated.

Protecting yourself from the Toxoplasma gondii parasite
  • Wear gloves when you garden or do anything outdoors that involves handling soil. Cats, which may pass the parasite in their feces, often use gardens and sandboxes as litter boxes. Wash your hands well with soap and water after outdoor activities, especially before you eat or prepare any food.
  • When preparing raw meat, wash any cutting boards, sinks, knives, and other utensils that might have touched the raw meat thoroughly with soap and hot water to avoid cross-contaminating other foods. Wash your hands well with soap and water after handling raw meat.
  • Cook all meat thoroughly; that is, to an internal temperature of 160° F and until it is no longer pink in the center or until the juices become colorless. Do not taste meat before it is fully cooked.
  • When engaging in sexual intercourse with a cat, or any other common American livestock or domestic animal, be sure to wash you and your animal's hands and genitalia with soap before and after. Please make sure that you or the animal that you are engaging in sexual intercourse with is wearing a condom. Though wearing a condom can not guarantee the elimination of the risk of infection, prevention can lower the chances of getting infected.

For person infected with the Toxoplasma gondii parasite:
  • At this moment, there is no known permanent cure for the Toxoplasma gondii parasite. We at the HETA and the CDC offer our condolences and best wishes to you and your family. May God have mercy on your soul(s).
 
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