I dont know when i've been this depressed

[JonTheCanuck]

i just broke up with my gf who i've been with 2 weeks short of a year. I just hafta vent. I'm feeling this insane depression and i had no idea i felt so strongly. Its true how they say u dont know what u've got till its gone. But we were complete opposites and just found out she started up smoking and getting into bad things that its killing me to think of. I dunno what to do and its hard to just have something thats been such a huge part of my life for a year and suddenly have it gone. Sorry to dump this on u guys and i know u get these threads all the time but i dunno, this is hard for me.

 

[SpuD]

Its better to have love and lost, then never have loved at all

 

[The Dark Elf]

i just broke up with my gf who i've been with 2 weeks short of a year. I just hafta vent. I'm feeling this insane depression and i had no idea i felt so strongly. Its true how they say u dont know what u've got till its gone. But we were complete opposites and just found out she started up smoking and getting into bad things that its killing me to think of. I dunno what to do and its hard to just have something thats been such a huge part of my life for a year and suddenly have it gone. Sorry to dump this on u guys and i know u get these threads all the time but i dunno, this is hard for me.

I'd like to say you'll get over it, but you wont, not completely. But it will get easier over time. Just move on best you can and whateve you do don't dwell on it or try to be friends with her, I can promise you that never works, just makes it harder.

Its better to have love and lost, then never have loved at all

try it

 

[LoneDeranger]

Remember, as soon as you find another girl it all goes away immidiately. It's hard to believe, but I was "cured" in a matter of days.

 

[JonTheCanuck]

its not as easy to drop one girl u've been with for a year and pick up another the next day.

 

[Dedalus]

if she's your first then you'll never forget. i still remember my first girlfriend, was with her for almost two years...stupid cow. but i still think about her or 'it' or whatever we had back then. i'm sure you'll do the same someday.

you have to look at it in perspective. how old are you? i'm guessing under 20? and how long is the average life span? 60/70? so you got at least another 50 years to A.forget about her, B.find someone else, C.for her to realise her mistake and make up. i can understand that it feels like the end of the world and for a few days or maybe even weeks that's what it'll be. there's no avoiding that. there was a poet called John Keats, he wrote lots of poems on feelings and how you should deal with them. one of his main themes which popped up in a few poems was the theme of depression and how to deal with it. don't try and stop it! don't deny it! don't think too much! let it envelope you. exploit your mood. learn from it. think about why you're depressed. whatever you do, do not avoid your grievance. because we have depression for a reason, and when the time comes for you to feel happier again, it will feel like a juicy grape bursting on a warm summer's day. your happiness will feel all the more sweeter.

i'm not sure how you'll take this but understand i have a high alcohol blood level or however you say it. anyway, friends last longer than lovers, and i think most of us would consider you as a friend.

 

[JonTheCanuck]

that does make me feel better Dedalus, Thx for the words. She was my first, and i'm 18 so u seem to have me pegged.

 

[ApocalypseNow]

****ing start up smoking, I never used to smoke cigarettes until my last girl friend got me into them, they're very calmming.... and I love cigarettes now... you have to look at the good side of things... tho I was smoking bud about a year before I met her, which is kinda worse then cigarette smoke....

But yeah ne wayz my advice to you would be to GO OUT AND MEET NEW PEOPLE NOW!!!

The sooner you go meet new/other people, you will learn that there is much better people out there that have more things in common with you... TRUST ME... I know this from experience

 

[Letters]

Yeah, substance abuse is generally the way to go...

 

[pat_thetic]

I just found out today that my dad lost his lawsuit, and we are 8mil in debt, so don't worry about it man

 

[Sprafa]

If u followed the Jedi Code, all would be well....
"there is emotion, there is peace."

I've pondered on this same subject (loss) time & time again. I have seen it's effect on the weak. They fall. But we must rise, not fall.

We must always the possibility of failure in everything we do. This has helped me in many difficult times in my life (and believe me, I've been thru a few levels of Hell and now I'm back to the 1st-my normal life).

Supress your feelings by concentrating on other things (a replacement) is quite useful and massively used. To supress by force of will is unfortunately the hradest path, therefore the one less used.

Anyone of those paths will lead you to the renaissance.

 

[Lucifer Crass]

meh, she'll just end up with some ass hole druggy anyway. Follow in our footsteps and game like you have never gamed before.

 

[staddydaddy]

breaks ups are a bitch dude. it's pretty hard to get over them if you really cared about her. if you're wanting to get back with her...dont. like give your self a month of total distance. the more social you are during your "recovery" time, the better it will be. Whether it's hanging out with another girl (even as a friend) or just bumming and playing games with a bud, it'll help you. The worst is if you break up and allllll you friends are out of town and you have no one to talk to you, IT'S HELL.

 

[Moto]

I love cigarettes now... you have to look at the good side of things... tho I was smoking bud about a year before I met her, which is kinda worse then cigarette smoke....

Ok, I am not being mean here, I just want to inform you that the smoke is not the part of the cigarette that harms you the most. There are over 400 poisons and chemicals in 1 cigarette. I believe there are around 40 carcenogens which are cancer-causing substances. A smoker who smokes one pack every day is said to lose a good 13 years of their live. During a lifetime of smoking, you will have built up enough tar in your lungs to fill up a large jar of peaches.

I just thought you should know that. It might calm you down know, but It isn't good for you in the long run. Now, I don't know if a "bud" is the same thing as pot, but if so, that is much worse than cigarettes. Cigarettes are not safe though, they both contain carcenogens.
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So, Canuck. Don't worry about it, I understand that she meant a lot to you, but If she was doing things that you did not find to be in your best interests or in hers, and she refused to stop doing what she was doing, then you did the right thing.

 

[Moto]

...or just bumming and playing games with a bud, it'll help you.

By saying "Bud, " do you mean like a friend or is there another meaning for this word. I ask this because another guy in this thread said that he "smoked buds."

If it is related to drugs, let me just say that substance abuse is not the answer.

 

[Direwolf]

Bud:
1. Crappy bits of pot
2. Beer (Budweiser)
3. Buddy

 

[Letters]

Haha, pretty sure he meant a buddy... you know... like a chum? Friend? Homie? Pal?

(WTF was that Direwolf... do you always phase in your posts through edits? )

 

[JonTheCanuck]

i'm not one to use substances as a mean of temporary escape from something. Alcohol is only something i'll enjoy occassionally for fun, not to try and escape from somewhere. It's just hard looking back and thinking of the memories and things we did together. I dont regret my decision, just wish things could've been different with her. Cause she's got the most awesome personality and is fun to be with, but her friends pulled her down and as a result she made bad choices that she wont go back on. We ended on generally good terms i guess but i'm just completely forgetting about her. I can't see anything else working. I couldn't take her with some other guy. Trying to be friends would end in disaster so i've completely severed the connection. I hate how these things are. It's hard losing a gf, but she was also my my best friend for a year and in an instant its over with one goodbye. This is sounding like a soap operah, but i thank u guys for the support and hope i'll be able to return the favour some day.

 

[Lucifer Crass]

Was it that bad that you two had to break up over it? There are fights then there are FIGHTS, like i dont wanna see your face ever again if i can avoid you.

 

[JonTheCanuck]

she's been smoking behind my back along with marijuanna apparently a lot and now she's been getting involved with "blow" as she put it. So i can't go down that path and she wont change her mind. We turned out to be too opposite of one another.

 

[chu]

Well if she wasn't willing to drop those vices for you then she obviously didn't care about you as much as you did her. Being as she is young, becoming an untamed socialite is top priority to her. That mindset of not letting anyone hold you back.

I know how you feel. I once knew and loved a girl but now she is gone from my life. She was my first girlfriend and at one time a really good friend.

 

[fizzlephox]

I feel somewhat sorry for you.... but you live in Canada and I live in Texas and you get snow all the time and we only get about one day a year and I love my snow . You know what? I don't feel sorry for you, you snow hording mexican leprechaun.

 

[Fender357]

don't try and stop it! don't deny it! don't think too much! let it envelope you. exploit your mood. learn from it. think about why you're depressed. whatever you do, do not avoid your grievance. because we have depression for a reason, and when the time comes for you to feel happier again, it will feel like a juicy grape bursting on a warm summer's day. your happiness will feel all the more sweeter.

Thats one of the greatest things I've ever herd on this forum.


And its funny because that is how I deal with all the stupid crap that happens to me. And belive me...........last month was literaly the WORST month of my life....(so far..... ) But man......I feel great now.


And don't be to manly to cry your F^cking head off. Some times that, when your done crying, feeling, is just so amazingly good.

 

[thenerdguy]

Darn it you guys are starting to scare me, I just starting going out with the only girlfriend i have ever had.

It sounds mean for me to say this, Its better to kill the connection to her in one wack. Almost always doining a little pot here and there lead to worse stuff down the road.

Your only 18 and there is plenty of time for you to find the right one.

 

[famas_man]

I feel somewhat sorry for you.... but you live in Canada and I live in Texas and you get snow all the time and we only get about one day a year and I love my snow . You know what? I don't feel sorry for you, you snow hording mexican leprechaun.

Dude... I live in Canada and here in British Columbia we only get like 2 days of snow, so what kind of leprachaun does that make me?

As for replying to the topic: I'll give you my sympathy, but nothing anyone here says will make you feel any better. Be grateful that the relationship didn't get any farther since she is so different from you.

Also, dont try to forget about this experience. Live an learn

 

[DarkStar]

The feeling you get after a bad breakup has to be the absolute worst human emotion. Its like you've been punched in the gut. It feels like it will never go away but it always does eventually. Hang in there.

 

[Lil' Timmy]

biochemically, breaking up with a gf/bf is supposed to be very similar to going through withdrawls. somewone told me that once; they seemed to find it comforting when they were going through a break-up to keep that in mind. most of my break-ups have been mutual, or more of a relief than depressing so i can't offer you much.

to some degree i like feeling intense emotions, be they pleasant or unpleasant ones.. i guess it's kinda weird, but even sadness is kinda phenomenal and invigorating in a way. probably not for everyone though.

just out of curiosity, how old are you jon?

 

[famas_man]

Sadness is not for everyone. Side-effects may include: dry mouth, depression, upset stomach, and sexual side-effects.

Im sorry, but thats what I though of when you said that. Like you suggested, sadness can be an experience that is good to experience... as strange as that sounds. Personally I think sadness has made me stronger in some aspects.

 

[|SwE|FishStick]

If u followed the Jedi Code, all would be well....
"there is emotion, there is peace."

you mean "there is NO emotion, there is peace." ? right?

 

[CyberSh33p]

I'm proud to say I've never been dumped.

...;(

 

[Sprafa]

you mean "there is NO emotion, there is peace." ? right?

ahhh...ops

"There is no emotion, there is peace" indeed. the "no" was just overlooked.

 

[jimbones]

if she's your first then you'll never forget. i still remember my first girlfriend, was with her for almost two years...stupid cow. but i still think about her or 'it' or whatever we had back then. i'm sure you'll do the same someday.

you have to look at it in perspective. how old are you? i'm guessing under 20? and how long is the average life span? 60/70? so you got at least another 50 years to A.forget about her, B.find someone else, C.for her to realise her mistake and make up. i can understand that it feels like the end of the world and for a few days or maybe even weeks that's what it'll be. there's no avoiding that. there was a poet called John Keats, he wrote lots of poems on feelings and how you should deal with them. one of his main themes which popped up in a few poems was the theme of depression and how to deal with it. don't try and stop it! don't deny it! don't think too much! let it envelope you. exploit your mood. learn from it. think about why you're depressed. whatever you do, do not avoid your grievance. because we have depression for a reason, and when the time comes for you to feel happier again, it will feel like a juicy grape bursting on a warm summer's day. your happiness will feel all the more sweeter.

i'm not sure how you'll take this but understand i have a high alcohol blood level or however you say it. anyway, friends last longer than lovers, and i think most of us would consider you as a friend.

Sir, I am deeply, deeply and utterly impressed! I fail to describe how amazing I find your post! *bows*

 

[ComradeBadger]

Dedalus is right. My first gf ripped me apart tbh. I felt so used and worthless for ages, but happiness, after that, was very very very good

 

[JonTheCanuck]

i wasn't dumped sh33p, i chose to end it.

 

[jimbones]

You'll get over it someday, i promise! =)

 

[himself]

just let it take you over. it will leave. and you cant do anything about it.

go on.