I hate cats.

[Link]

Cats, like dogs and children, need to be trained if they are to behave. Whilst you can explain to a child it has done wrong, with animals you must be physical. Now, I don't mean kick the crap out of them, but keep it reletive and they will learn. If it shits somewhere it shouldn't, get the cat by the scruff (Best way to not get scratched), hold it so it is looking straight at the crap and give it a smack and say "Bad cat" or whatever, the words don't matter, just make it clear that your pissed off at it.

If it scratched or bites you, give it a smack, hard. Whilst it sounds cruel, you objective is to show the cat that you are a damn sight bigger and stronger than it is, and if it uses violence, it will lose. For example, my g/f's cat was sat on my lap the other day and doing that "I'm having a stretch, but really I want to scratch something and you arm is nearest" routine, so I knew it was thinking about it, so I just went "No" when it opened its claws near my arm, and tapped its paw to show what I was warning it about. Of course, it didn't take the hint and scratched me anyway, so I put my hand under the cusion it was on, on my lap, and chucked it a good distance across the room. Not enough to hurt it, but enough for it to know that when I say no, I damn well mean it. The cat still sits on me, loves it in fact, but it dosen't bring its claws near me.

Long winded I know, but what I am saying is that cats do respect/fear their owners, so if you find a way to make the cat understand you don't want it doing something, nine times out of ten it will not do it again.

Ah yes, just a tip, a good, humane way to punish a cat is with those misters you get for watering plants. They hate to get squirted by them, so it illistrates the point quite well without hurting them.

As Billy Connely once said, "Any animal that stays when you move house is a bastard and dosen't deserve feeding"

 

[Burn]

Cats hate you.

I love cats.

Link, that is NO way to train a cat. To get the cat to use the tray, or to go outside, you simple pick up him/her up if it looks like she is wanting to go (If your a long term cat owner you can tell) then put them outside or in the tray.

You never need to hit an animal to train it.

 

[Harryz]

and I swear those meows were some kind of demented laughter, because I could hear them all the way in my bathroom through a closed door.

LMAO

I hate cats too.

 

[G-Dub]

i wuv cats...

linky: wee

 

[dys4iK]

I didn't grow up in a cat family; my childhood pets were just dogs. Up until only very recently, my only experience with cats had been at my friend's house, whose cats were neurotic and ran away from everyone all the time. Okay, pretty neutral feeling toward cats at that point.

Which is why I didn't mind too much when my roommate I just moved in recently with had a cat - I figured he would just run away from me like my friend's. Unfortunately, it was this naive notion that led to me cleaning cat shit off my shower curtain after putting on band-aids all over my right forearm a few minutes ago. To make a short story even shorter, the cat decided to simply ignore his litterbox and come take a crap on my shower curtain whilst I was playing UT, and then dance around or something until I went in there to see what the terrible smell was coming from. Of course, when I picked him up I apparently disturbed his demon-summoning ritual, so he clawed the crap out of whatever he could reach as I flung him into the hallway and slammed the door, so I had to anti-biotic (what if he stepped in it!? x_x) and band-aid my arm while holding back gagging from this terribly potent little demonic sacrifice.

Then I had the distinct pleasure of feeling the heat coming through the toilet paper as I picked it up (x_x) and threw it in the toilet, but since my toilet sucks it got clogged on it, so I got to fix that as well after I Lysol'd the floor. The whole time that son of a bitch was out in the hallway, and I swear those meows were some kind of demented laughter, because I could hear them all the way in my bathroom through a closed door. I couldn't even smack the bastard because my roommate would go nuts.

I hate cats.

Anyway, to keep this from just being a rant thread, what terrible experiences have you had with cats? I thought all the horror stories were exaggerated before, but now I know better. Worst story gets community sympathy.

P.S. - No smilies, my five step program is working!

I love cats. They suit my personality just fine. At least, the one I had did. If your cat is taking a shit on the floor, it means it's having some personal issues that you might want to look into--anything from being ignored to being harassed too much, or being lonely.

I find it amusing that you'd choose GIR as an avatar, considering GIR is basically a neurotic cat.

 

[KoreBolteR]

my family has always had cats, they roxks!

 

[Tr0n]

I love cats. They suit my personality just fine. At least, the one I had did. If your cat is taking a shit on the floor, it means it's having some personal issues that you might want to look into--anything from being ignored to being harassed too much, or being lonely.

I find it amusing that you'd choose GIR as an avatar, considering GIR is basically a neurotic cat.

Ain't gir a robot tho?

 

[baxter]

Have two cats , love em.
Do you know, in the Uk you are not liable for any damage your cat might do as it is classed as semi wild ?.
You are liable for any damage your dogs does though. have two of them, love them also.

 

[Edcrab]

Really don't like cats much. It definitely depends on the individual, mind. Most of the buggers are so mercenary...

But my cousins latest cat, despite being in possession of a below-par feline IQ, is cool. Rarely tries the skin-lacerating routine or "present" leaving for me, unlike the murderous shit-factory that is his sister. He likes me for some reason, which is odd, because usually I radiate some sort of anti-cat field.

I'm covertly training him to become some sort of hard-as-nails mafia cat, so he can muscle in on the territory of the ****ers that shit all over my gran's garden. She's around eighty and doesn't need that kind of crap. Literally.

 

[NikolaX]

I hate dogs and cats, I prefer a shark or a piranha so they could bite the shit out of those damned kids that keep breaking into my house