I need a gut buster

Locust

Locust

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I haven't laughed hard in a fairly long time and I need something to laugh my ass off at. Anyone know some funny videos or jokes that might brighten my day?
 
Yeah any stand up. Lee Evans is great, or Peter Kay, Jack Dee, Bill Hicks etc, all good stuff.
Or theres always the lowest comedy...
dead baby jokes?
 
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA :eek:
 
gh0st said:
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA :eek:
Click to expand...
:LOL:
Three guys are stranded in a forest, then they taken by a village. The chief gives them a chance to live.
First, they must go into the forest and find 10 of any fruit.
Two of the guys comes back. The chief tells them that they have to shove all of the fruits up their asses. If they make an expression or sound, they'll die. The first guy doesn't make it and gets killed. The other guy had grapes and manages to shove 9 of them. He all of a sudden laughs and dies. Those two guys are talking in heaven and the guy who died first asks, "You almost made it, why did you laugh?"
The second guy replies, "I saw the last guy come back with 10 pineapples."
 
gh0st said:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA :eek:
Click to expand...
I heard out of loads of jokes that 1 was most succesful with all ages.
 
http://banthis.com/index.php?xid=media&id=Walker Texas Ranger.wmv
http://banthis.com/index.php?xid=media&id=Walker Texas Ranger Part 2.wmv
http://banthis.com/index.php?xid=media&id=Walker Texas Ranger Part 3.wmv

These are some HILARIOUS random clips from Walker Texas Ranger. I like the 2nd video when he just backhands the guy in the face, the one that Conan laughs at, ahahhaa. Also, when the guy gets his foot cought in a bear trap, and if that wasn't enough Walker punches him anyway.

CHUCK NORRIS IS GOD.
 
StardogChampion said:
http://banthis.com/index.php?xid=media&id=Walker Texas Ranger.wmv
http://banthis.com/index.php?xid=media&id=Walker Texas Ranger Part 2.wmv
http://banthis.com/index.php?xid=media&id=Walker Texas Ranger Part 3.wmv

These are some HILARIOUS random clips from Walker Texas Ranger. I like the 2nd video when he just backhands the guy in the face, the one that Conan laughs at, ahahhaa. Also, when the guy gets his foot cought in a bear trap, and if that wasn't enough Walker punches him anyway.

CHUCK NORRIS IS GOD.
Click to expand...
HAHAHHAHA oh my ****ing god im dying! hAHAHAHAH WHAM!
 
Two men and a woman get stranded on a desert island. After a while, they give in to certain human "urges" :naughty:
This goes on for a few weeks, but then the woman gets very depressed - she's worried they'll starve to death, etc. - so she takes her own life.
So then it's just the two guys, and after a while they give in to certain human "urges" :naughty:
This goes on for a few weeks, until one day, one of the guys says:
"Look, what we've been doing recently - I'm not comfortable with it. It's just not right."
To which the other guy replies:
"Yeah, you're right. Let's bury her."
 
el chi, that was just wrong. Unfortunantly, I haven't seen a gut buster.
 
StardogChampion said:
http://banthis.com/index.php?xid=media&id=Walker Texas Ranger.wmv
http://banthis.com/index.php?xid=media&id=Walker Texas Ranger Part 2.wmv
http://banthis.com/index.php?xid=media&id=Walker Texas Ranger Part 3.wmv

These are some HILARIOUS random clips from Walker Texas Ranger. I like the 2nd video when he just backhands the guy in the face, the one that Conan laughs at, ahahhaa. Also, when the guy gets his foot cought in a bear trap, and if that wasn't enough Walker punches him anyway.

CHUCK NORRIS IS GOD.
Click to expand...

HAHAHA, I loved that when Conan was showing all those WTR clips. Thanks for the clips, been wanting to see these again. :D
 
haha the mosh girl photoshops were the gutbuster for me. haha i love photoshop'd comedy photo's, so great :D made my day Anthraxxx :thumbs:
 
Walker Texas Ranger

Seriously, those Texas Ranger clips made me laugh out loud. Not a gut buster per se, but I did fall over.
 
Adabiviak said:
Seriously, those Texas Ranger clips made me laugh out loud. Not a gut buster per se, but I did fall over.
Click to expand...
Bear trap one and the one where he punches the chick in the face after taking control of her car by jumping out of a plane were the best ones. :LOL:
 
The best Walker clip is when the kid jumps off the ladder :) Afterwards Conan is on the couch :D
 
The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c".

Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by " v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst place....





LOL
 
::Gives iced_eagle the best post of the year award:: XD !
 
AmishSlayer said:
The best Walker clip is when the kid jumps off the ladder :) Afterwards Conan is on the couch :D
Click to expand...

No the old chef scene and the engagement scene are the best. The ladder was pretty funny though. I really hope Walker Texas Ranger is supposed to be a comedy....
 
Zeus said:
No the old chef scene and the engagement scene are the best. The ladder was pretty funny though. I really hope Walker Texas Ranger is supposed to be a comedy....
Click to expand...
Haha no its not. Not at all. Its totally serious.
 
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