I visited a psychologist. Am I reading too much into this?

[kngHenry]

So I followed your advice and visited a psychologist (yes, on saturday). Ended up paying only $15 because of the insurance.

The psychologist asked whether I asked professors for help when I was in school. I said "no"... She asked why. I answered, "I just didn't"... She said: "Do you realize that you could have benefited from doing that?". I said, sarcastically: "I know I don't look like you, but I am not that stupid, I don't need people to dumb down things for me".

She then changed the topic, which I am glad she did because she was starting to annoy me with that line of questions. I think I should stay away from psychologists from now on. I mean, why would I want to visit someone who "subtly" implies that I am an idiot?

 

[15357]

Well, good job, you are closer to improving yourself. On behalf of the community, congrats.


On topic: Its their job to question you. Go back. I don't think she was implying that you were an idiot.


btw, people, be nice.

 

[Kyorisu]

The last thing you want is a complete stranger trying to explain why your wierd to you. That's what friends do for you and it's free.

 

[Chris D]

She's there to help you, not to imply you're an idiot. There may be questions she asks that feel like she's implying something, but it's those questions that will get a reaction from you and make her understand better how to help you.

Bare with it, go back with an open mind and an open heart.

 

[15357]

I'm bored. Why isn't this thread growing fast like that other one? I want flames people, tons ans tons of flames!


Oh, and what Chris_D said is true.

 

[Axyon]

I'm bored. Why isn't this thread growing fast like that other one? I want flames people, tons ans tons of flames!


Oh, and what Chris_D said is true.

Any flames within this thread will be dealt with swiftly and harshly, so we'll be having none of that.

 

[CptStern]

she probably wrote into her notebook this entry:

"subject is easily annoyed"

one session is not a good judgement to go by when deciding wether to see her again

 

[Chris D]

Quite a good example for you...

I recently moved house and also had to get a different driving instructor because I lived too far away from my original instructor.

After my first lesson with the new instructor I felt belittled, uneasy and wasn't confident of her teaching techniques. I could have given up after the first lesson with her and found someone else, but I didn't.

I kept at it, kept an open mind and eventually started to enjoy my lessons with her. That's all you need to do with this psychologist. Bare with her, keep an open mind and then see how it goes. You might find it's a great help if you give it a chance.

 

[jabberwock95]

She was probably trying to discover if you have a problem accepting help from others.


And listen to Chris_D.

 

[Pesmerga]

Hehehe, psychologists are funny, they simply reassure you of what you already know. That can be useful, but most of the time it's a waste of money.

 

[Insano]

Any flames within this thread will be dealt with swiftly and harshly, so we'll be having none of that.

Thank God for that.

 

[DreamThrall]

I kept at it, kept an open mind and eventually started to enjoy my lessons with her.

READ: Road head. :naughty:

 

[kaf11]

therapy can only work if you give it the time. many people quit after the first session because they feel like it was a waste of their time, but if you keep going itll will only get better.

 

[CyberPitz]

My ex went to a psycologist once. Probably one of the most traumatic times of her life.

Her family are hardcore christians *and so is she kind of in a way.....* ANYWAY they caught us having sex. So they threatened me with statitory rape, and threw her at a psycologist. The psycologist tried to attack me through the entire time. Talked about how I was just using her for sex, and that there was NO way in hell that if we were having sex, she was the first one I was with. *yes, I lost my virginity to her*

So ever since that, I've never liked them......

 

[kngHenry]

The problem is that the psychologist I talked to was a woman. I believe that if I talk to a male psychologist, he will be able to explain me how the female brain works (from an objective point of view), and teach me how to put up with it. I myself gave up trying to be nice to women a long time ago.You know, if you meet a guy with a bad attitude, either you ignore him or you also treat him disrespectfully. Basically, I treat women with a bad attitude the same way I treat a guy with a bad attitude. If she is arrogant and aloof I completely ignore her. She can go to hell. I don't care how cute she is, I humble myself before noone.

 

[bam23]

My first impression of you was a nice guy who couldn't get anywhere with women. Now I see that you're one of those unfriendly guys who spit on kids if they get too close.

 

[Absinthe]

Go back. She doesn't mean any harm to you. What you percieve as an insult is probably far from it.

 

[jabberwock95]

For some strange reason I hear a sound remarkably like someone yanking the chain of the entire forum...

Hmm, its probably nothing.

 

[OCybrManO]

My ex went to a psycologist once. Probably one of the most traumatic times of her life.

Her family are hardcore christians *and so is she kind of in a way.....* ANYWAY they caught us having sex. So they threatened me with statitory rape, and threw her at a psycologist. The psycologist tried to attack me through the entire time. Talked about how I was just using her for sex, and that there was NO way in hell that if we were having sex, she was the first one I was with. *yes, I lost my virginity to her*

So ever since that, I've never liked them......

Well, part of the problem was obviously that her parents specifically picked someone that would agree with them... probably someone they knew had the same beliefs. A real psychologist/psychiatrist could be sued for that kind of behavior (in your case, slander). They do not attack their patient's decisions/lifestyle. They do not make assumptions about people they don't know. They only use the information you give them. I would be willing to bet that this person was some sort of counselor that didn't even have a degree in psychology.

 

[kngHenry]

My first impression of you was a nice guy who couldn't get anywhere with women. Now I see that you're one of those unfriendly guys who spit on kids if they get too close.

bam23, you were right and now you are wrong. I don't mistreat anyone. If you mistreat me I just ignore you. That makes me more of a nice guy than the asshole you describe.

 

[Chris D]

Go back. She doesn't mean any harm to you. What you percieve as an insult is probably far from it.

Quoted for emphasis...

 

[xLostx]

seduce her.

 

[kngHenry]

seduce her.

I already showed her all my dirty laundry. I am not sure that works in my favor

 

[tinyxipe]

First, congratulations on taking a big step in the right direction. Don't judge everything on just one visit. I would strongly suggest going back at least 2 or 3 more times, you really need a chance to get comfortable with your psychologist. If things still don't feel right at that point, it's time to move on.

One other observation; it seems fairly obvious that you have trust/anger issues with women. When/if you go back, you might want to discuss this with her. She might be able to work with you on it or she might be able to refer you to a male psychologist. You won't get anywhere with any therapist if you hold it against her that she's a woman; it might, in fact, end up being very helpful.

Don't get too hung up on the questions that are asked and try to keep an open mind. Most likely she is simply trying to figure out how you think about things in order to help you better. Remember, it is her job to help you, she is not there to laugh at you or make "subtle" fun of you. I can guarantee that she sees all kinds of people and she isn't looking at you like you are some sort of freak. Look at it this way, if she made fun of her clients, she wouldn't be in business.

 

[kngHenry]

First, congratulations on taking a big step in the right direction. Don't judge everything on just one visit. I would strongly suggest going back at least 2 or 3 more times, you really need a chance to get comfortable with your psychologist. If things still don't feel right at that point, it's time to move on.

One other observation; it seems fairly obvious that you have trust/anger issues with women. When/if you go back, you might want to discuss this with her. She might be able to work with you on it or she might be able to refer you to a male psychologist. You won't get anywhere with any therapist if you hold it against her that she's a woman; it might, in fact, end up being very helpful.

Don't get too hung up on the questions that are asked and try to keep an open mind. Most likely she is simply trying to figure out how you think about things in order to help you better. Remember, it is her job to help you, she is not there to laugh at you or make "subtle" fun of you. I can guarantee that she sees all kinds of people and she isn't looking at you like you are some sort of freak. Look at it this way, if she made fun of her clients, she wouldn't be in business.

I think you guys (and girls) are right, I should give her another chance. As for the trust/anger issues with women, I am still not sure. Imagine a fat ugly man. Are women nice to him? Do they look and smile at him? Probably not, right?

 

[15357]

I think you guys (and girls) are right, I should give her another chance. As for the trust/anger issues with women, I am still not sure. Imagine a fat ugly man. Are women nice to him? Do they look and smile at him? Probably not, right?

If they're store clerks or flight attendants, yes.

 

[tinyxipe]

I think you guys (and girls) are right, I should give her another chance. As for the trust/anger issues with women, I am still not sure. Imagine a fat ugly man. Are women nice to him? Do they look and smile at him? Probably not, right?

Why would you say that? Personally, I make every effort not to judge people by their appearance. I have no reason not to be nice to someone unless they are rude to me. You seem to think in absolutes. Not ALL women are going to act like that. I absolutely refuse to believe that every single person you've ever interacted with treats you the way that you describe.

Try to spend some time focusing on some of the positive interactions you've had. Maybe they weren't great, but they can't all be as horrible as you describe. You need to start listening to the negative thoughts you have and how often they include "always", "never", "only" and other absolutes. Ask about that when you go back. She should be able to help you work on that.

I can tell you from personal experience that being really aware of your own thoughts makes it easier to change how you are feeling about things. When you start to hear those "automatic" thoughts, you can change the message and your outlook. It sounds kind of simplistic, and it is really, but when you spend a little time on it, it's amazing how much you will catch and how over time, there really will be few of them.

 

[kngHenry]

Not ALL women are going to act like that. I absolutely refuse to believe that every single person you've ever interacted with treats you the way that you describe. .

only 9 out of every 10 treat me the way I describe

Edit:

Tinyxipe, you are a woman. I want you to answer these questions for me.

1. Why are women so shallow?
2. Why do they want to show off their handsome boyfriends to their girl friends?
3. Why do they ask men whether they have had girlfriends in the past?
4. Why do they want men who can make them laugh (as opposed to just a normal guy who is not a comedian)?
5. Why do women act according to their feelings and not according to logical principles?
6. Why are they so arrogant and aloof?
7. Why are their egoes so overinflated (I supposed they are, since they always seem to presuppose that I am attracted to them, and put on a bitch shield to scare me off)?

 

[15357]

only 9 out of every 10 treat me the way I describe

Edit:

Tinyxipe, you are a woman. I want you to answer these questions for me.

1. Why are women so shallow?
2. Why do they want to show off their handsome boyfriends to their girl friends?
3. Why do they ask men whether they have had girlfriends in the past?
4. Why do they want men who can make them laugh (as opposed to just a normal guy who is not a comedian)?
5. Why do women act according to their feelings and not according to logical principles?
6. Why are they so arrogant and aloof?
7. Why are their egoes so overinflated (I supposed they are, since they always seem to presuppose that I am attracted to them, and put on a bitch shield to scare me off)?

Where do you live? Most girls arn't like that.

 

[kngHenry]

Where do you live? Most girls arn't like that.

MA... in a college town

 

[15357]

MA... in a college town

Not to worry, you'll find a girl.

 

[kngHenry]

Not to worry, you'll find a girl.

oh boy

 

[Glirk Dient]

1. Why are women so shallow?

Umm, some girls may be and some may not. Just like guys, some may be shallow.

2. Why do they want to show off their handsome boyfriends to their girl friends?

Bragging rights. They want their friends to be jealous and they want to impress them. Guys do the same thing.

3. Why do they ask men whether they have had girlfriends in the past?

To find out how much experience they have had and anything else that may be good or bad. Honestly, I have never had a gf ask me this so this one simply depends on the girl.

4. Why do they want men who can make them laugh (as opposed to just a normal guy who is not a comedian)?

They want to have a good time. They want a guy that won't just sit there like a vegetable as that would be boring.

5. Why do women act according to their feelings and not according to logical principles?

If it is an extreme feeling then that is probally why. Guys do the same thing...IE when they are angry. Otherwise it depends on the girl.

6. Why are they so arrogant and aloof?

That is your own personal opinion

7. Why are their egoes so overinflated (I supposed they are, since they always seem to presuppose that I am attracted to them, and put on a bitch shield to scare me off)?

They want to be on top of the world. They want to feel wanted and loved. They don't want to be a worthless ugly POS.

 

[kngHenry]

Umm, some girls may be and some may not. Just like guys, some may be shallow.


Bragging rights. They want their friends to be jealous and they want to impress them. Guys do the same thing.

To find out how much experience they have had and anything else that may be good or bad. Honestly, I have never had a gf ask me this so this one simply depends on the girl.

They want to have a good time. They want a guy that won't just sit there like a vegetable as that would be boring.

If it is an extreme feeling then that is probally why. Guys do the same thing...IE when they are angry. Otherwise it depends on the girl.

That is your own personal opinion

They want to be on top of the world. They want to feel wanted and loved. They don't want to be a worthless ugly POS.

Is that so? I am not like those girls and those guys you talk about. I am very humble and down to earth. I am more 'elevated' than they are and that's why I can't find a chick

 

[Glirk Dient]

You just aren't finding the right away. It sounds as though you don't take the time to get to know any of them and just assume they are ignorant and turn them away. That is what it sounds like your problem is. Get to know girls...they are a lot different than what you first think of them.

 

[kngHenry]

You just aren't finding the right away. It sounds as though you don't take the time to get to know any of them and just assume they are ignorant and turn them away. That is what it sounds like your problem is. Get to know girls...they are a lot different than what you first think of them.

It's not that I assume they are ignorant, but if I meet an arrogant woman (most women I meet fall into this category), what motivation do I have to *get to know* that woman? I want to be better looking, for my own personal satisfaction, and have a healthier lifestyle, but I am not going to sacrifice myself going through painful diets and laborious exercises just to please conceited individuals.

 

[pomegranate]

only 9 out of every 10 treat me the way I describe

Edit:

Tinyxipe, you are a woman. I want you to answer these questions for me.

1. Why are women so shallow?
Who says they are? If your mother and the psychologist are the only women you speak to, how do you know what women value?
2. Why do they want to show off their handsome boyfriends to their girl friends?
Because it's interesting for them?
3. Why do they ask men whether they have had girlfriends in the past?
Because it's interesting for them? It's a normal thing to ask of a person.
4. Why do they want men who can make them laugh (as opposed to just a normal guy who is not a comedian)?
People like to laugh, I like people who make me laugh, don't you? It's something that guys are often better at then girls.
5. Why do women act according to their feelings and not according to logical principles?
LOL. Again, who says this is the case? And who says the same isn't really true about men?
6. Why are they so arrogant and aloof?
It's probably a lot to do with your disposition. Also some people have low self-esteem and put up a emotional barrier to seem tough.
7. Why are their egoes so overinflated (I supposed they are, since they always seem to presuppose that I am attracted to them, and put on a bitch shield to scare me off)?
See 5.

Really, a lot of your problem isn't anything to do with women at all, it's more down to your attitude and strong presumptions about women. Don't think of women as something seperate, alien and off-limits. Sure they're broadly different to men in some ways, but they're still people, believe it or not.

 

[Murray_H]

If all the women you meet appear to be arrogant, are you sure you are reading them properly? Or maybe it's something you're doing which makes them behave in that way?

What usually happens when you meet a woman? What do you say to her/does she say to you?

 

[Pesmerga]

Blame the women, it's their fault we can't get them into bed with us!

 

[tinyxipe]

only 9 out of every 10 treat me the way I describe

Edit:

Tinyxipe, you are a woman. I want you to answer these questions for me.

1. Why are women so shallow?
2. Why do they want to show off their handsome boyfriends to their girl friends?
3. Why do they ask men whether they have had girlfriends in the past?
4. Why do they want men who can make them laugh (as opposed to just a normal guy who is not a comedian)?
5. Why do women act according to their feelings and not according to logical principles?
6. Why are they so arrogant and aloof?
7. Why are their egoes so overinflated (I supposed they are, since they always seem to presuppose that I am attracted to them, and put on a bitch shield to scare me off)?

Ok, you are back to those absolutes again.

I can't answer for all women, I can only give you my perspective. I know there are some women out there like the ones you are describing, but keep in mind that most of those questions could apply to quite a few men too.

1. Women are shallow for the exact same reason men are, but I can't really explain that one. Personally I feel shallow people are a waste of time.

2. I'd much rather "show off" a nice guy than a handsome jerk. Most normal women would. It's not unusual to want your friends to meet your boyfriend. You've never noticed the cliche of the rich guy and trophy girlfriend/wife?

3. Can't answer that one. I can see it coming up in conversation at one point in a relationship, but I wouldn't ask that of someone I just met.

4. Who doesn't want to have a good time? I don't want someone who puts on an act, just someone who shares the same humor and sense of fun, no need to be a comedian.

5. Women are more emotional than men, it's just the way we are and it seems perfectly logical to us. It's one of the things that makes us different and no, it doesn't always make it easy. Believe me, it's just as frustrating from most womens point of view trying to understand why you guys cannot deal with emotions.

6. Who's arrogant and aloof? Do I come across that way? Sure, some women are, just like some men are. I might come across a little aloof in real life, because I'm pretty shy. Don't always take arrogant and aloof at face value, she just might be reserved and shy by nature. It's hard to tell if this is the case when you first meet someone, but you shouldn't take it personally either way. If she's shy, it's just a defense mechanism and nothing to do with you, if not, she's not worth it anyway.

7. Once again, this isn't something you can pin on all women. I don't own and wouldn't know where to find a bitch shield to save my life. In fact, my ego is a bit underinflated most of the time.

You come across with a strange mixture of insecurity and arrogance. I can't quite figure it out.

As far as your lifestyle, don't change it for someone else. You only need to change it for yourself, it's the only way it will be worthwhile and successful.