I visited a psychologist. Am I reading too much into this?

[Pesmerga]

In fact, my ego is a bit underinflated most of the time.

You are a good person. You are a strong and able woman. You will make Pesmerga a chicken sandwhich. You are a beautiful, confident woman.

 

[Glirk Dient]

It's not that I assume they are ignorant, but if I meet an arrogant woman (most women I meet fall into this category), what motivation do I have to meet that woman? I want to be better looking, for my own personal satisfaction, and have a healthier lifestyle, but something in my gut tells me I shouldn't sacrifice myself going through painful diets and laborious exercises just to please conceited individuals.

You don't have to necessarily diet...but at least dress well and look clean. Don't look messy and disgusting. Of course your going to have to sacrifice. Happiness doesn't come free all the time. So if you want to get anywhere, make yourself look better and work on your personality. Also...get out there and meet girl, your perception on them is skewed from lack of experience.

Part of your problem is that you must be scared of them. You keep calling them ignorant, and that is not the case. Perhaps you have met a few girls that didn't fall in love with you...because you gave them no reason and call them ignorant. Honestly, it takes some work but not as much as you think to get a girl. So go out there and try, don't worry if they are ignorant, just get to know as many as you can.

 

[Absinthe]

Whoah, Henry. I think you are placing yourself on too high of a pedestal when all you can seemingly do is rag on women in general and consider yourself "elevated" above them. If these are your true feelings, you're certainly not as humble as you think yourself as.

Please, just do this. Destroy any current conceptions you have of women and fish the sea once more. Not every female is the same, and by that same token (as Glirk Dient pointed out), guys aren't all that different either.

BTW "down to Earth" guys are more than capable of making people laugh and having a fun time. You don't need to freakin' Jim Carrey.

 

[kngHenry]

If all the women you meet appear to be arrogant, are you sure you are reading them properly? Or maybe it's something you're doing which makes them behave in that way?

What usually happens when you meet a woman? What do you say to her/does she say to you?

Murray_H that's a very good point. Maybe I am doing something, unconsciously, that makes them behave that way. I don't know what that could be. Maybe they don't like the fact that I don't adhere to traditional "mating behavior"? That leads me to the point I made previously that they have overinflated egoes, since they expect men to seduce them and are therefore prepared to reject them (why the female brains works like that I don't know).

As for your 3rd and 4th questions, all I can say is that I approach them, they smile, I open my mouth, their smiles disappear.

 

[Glirk Dient]

Psychiatrist Glirk to the rescue!

I sense much fear in you young one. Your perception of women has come from a few bad girls you have met so you generalized and created your opinion of women. Forget what you have previously learned, they are all different and none of them work the same. Trust me, theres a rainbow of personalities that girls have, you just have to search. Also, girls first appear to be different than what they are. I have known many girls who I at first thought one thing about them and then as time went on that completely flipped. So get out there, meet girls and hang out with them as friends at first. Girls aren't just there for mating...before you get into a relationship it will help to have experience socializing with girls. Get to know girls just to be friends, don't go for only girls that you want to bang. Also...when it comes to relationships, girls like romance and guys like sex. When we are thinking of hot chiks to bang, they are thinking of the perfect date. Remember that, girls love romance.

If you want to ask me more questions, or anything else send me a message. My aim is Glirk2...I can ramble on all night about this subject.

 

[Pesmerga]

"You don't know the history of psychiatry - I do"

 

[kngHenry]

Psychiatrist Glirk to the rescue!

I sense much fear in you young one. Your perception of women has come from a few bad girls you have met so you generalized and created your opinion of women. Forget what you have previously learned, they are all different and none of them work the same. Trust me, theres a rainbow of personalities that girls have, you just have to search. Also, girls first appear to be different than what they are. I have known many girls who I at first thought one thing about them and then as time went on that completely flipped. So get out there, meet girls and hang out with them as friends at first. Girls aren't just there for mating...before you get into a relationship it will help to have experience socializing with girls. Get to know girls just to be friends, don't go for only girls that you want to bang. Also...when it comes to relationships, girls like romance and guys like sex. When we are thinking of hot chiks to bang, they are thinking of the perfect date. Remember that, girls love romance.

If you want to ask me more questions, or anything else send me a message. My aim is Glirk2...I can ramble on all night about this subject.

I'll add your name to my buddy list. I was just wondering, are you some sort of an authority in this field? And I think you are wrong. I did not generalize based on a few bad experiences. I constantly observe the same behavior over and over again.

"You don't know the history of psychiatry - I do"

edit: Pesmerga believes scientology is the way to go.

 

[15357]

scientology is teh shit.

 

[kngHenry]

People with avoidant personality disorder often experience vicious cycles of withdrawal in which the avoidant helps to create the anticipated rejection (Kantor, 1993, Chapter 5). Other people interpret the avoidance of the person with APD as a sign that the avoidant does not like them, and react by avoiding the person. This reinforces the avoidant's fear of rejection and encourages further withdrawal.

Another common development is the appearance of so-called "second-line defenses" in order to deal with the anxiety that the avoidance creates (ibid.). Examples of such defenses are a denial of the fear of rejection, or a replacement of their fear of rejection with a defensive insensitivity. The latter mechanism is called "hardening".

 

[15357]

Don't worry, you'll get over it.

 

[CyberPitz]

Well, part of the problem was obviously that her parents specifically picked someone that would agree with them... probably someone they knew had the same beliefs. A real psychologist/psychiatrist could be sued for that kind of behavior (in your case, slander). They do not attack their patient's decisions/lifestyle. They do not make assumptions about people they don't know. They only use the information you give them. I would be willing to bet that this person was some sort of counselor that didn't even have a degree in psychology.

Yeah, but the problem was, from what I understand *lost contact with her, sadly. The woman I love/d, cannot talk to her.* she had a RUFF next year after she broke up with me*3 months after the whole ordeal. Well, a rocky year, and I hear she changed completely. She dropped her greatest love. Colorguard. She would die for that. Then she just dropped it! Her best friends, gone. She changed/stopped going to church. I'm sorry, but I'm a large anti-relgious kind of guy, but everybody needs something to believe in, and she had her heart on God and Colorguard. It's something to work for, and make you feel good. Then she changed. I believe a combo of me+the whole mess with the therapist really just ****ed her up. I feel guilty sometimes, but not as much anymore.

Wow. I just went COMPLETELY off topic, sorry

 

[DEATH eVADER]

therapy can only work if you give it the time. many people quit after the first session because they feel like it was a waste of their time, but if you keep going itll will only get better.

Do you speak out of experience?

 

[kngHenry]

Do you speak out of experience?

I felt it was a waste of my time and I quit going to therapy. I'd rather talk to an online friend. My real life friends are gone Why? Because I have avoidant personality disorder. Yes I self-diagnosed but I know Iam right. I mean, it's common sense. There is nothing the psychologist can say that is going to make me feel better. I prefer to figure things out myself

 

[CptStern]

I call bullshit ..you went on friday ..how can you possibly judge psychotherapy based on one visit (that is, if you even went)

 

[kngHenry]

I call bullshit ..you went on friday ..how can you possibly judge psychotherapy based on one visit (that is, if you even went)

I have talked to psychologists in the past, and I wouldn't consider blubbering about my feelings "psychotherapy".

 

[CptStern]

I have talked to psychologists in the past, and I wouldn't consider blubbering about my feelings "psychotherapy".

could have fooled me

So I followed your advice and visited a psychologist (yes, on saturday). Ended up paying only $15 because of the insurance.

 

[AmishSlayer]

OH DEAR CHRIST!

You again? Aren't you done with this whole deal yet? I thought after like 3+ threads closing you'd get the point...

 

[kngHenry]

could have fooled me

Even if I had made up all this, that's a psychological problem right there, and it should be addressed.

 

[bam23]

Ok Henry, now you're just screaming attention whore. Get on with your life. Eat a Krispy Kreme donut.

 

[Murray_H]

You have got a serious (and I mean serious) problem with accepting help from people.

The pyschiatrist probably identified this with your response to the question she asked about you asking teachers for help at school. I would suggest that you keep going to your sessions, as she will be able to help you out.

 

[kngHenry]

Ok Henry, now you're just screaming attention whore. Get on with your life. Eat a Krispy Kreme donut.

Let me recap the entire thing. I can't approach women because they don't like me. There must be something about my persona that they don't like (that, or I am the uggliest man in the world) and I want to figure out what that is so I can change my demeanor.

 

[bam23]

No, you can't approach women because you keep assuming they don't like you... Unless you're approaching the same woman over and over and she keeps telling you she doesn't like you.

 

[kngHenry]

No, you can't approach women because you keep assuming they don't like you... Unless you're approaching the same woman over and over and she keeps telling you she doesn't like you.

I don't assume anything, I go there with an open mind. Yes I know it is extremelly likely that they will reject me (I know this from past experience) but I don't think about that when I approach them

 

[CptStern]

Even if I had made up all this, that's a psychological problem right there, and it should be addressed.

ok, I'm addressing it ...you're either full of shit and this is all one big lie or you seriously need help ....which one's it going to be?

 

[AmishSlayer]

I recommend you go here.... http://www.psychforums.com/

That was you don't have to post here and annoy the shit out of me.

I make a move to ignore kngHenry and his further ramblings on his problems.

 

[15357]

What is your address, social security number, resident confirmation number, passport ID, and driver's lisence ID number?

 

[DreadLord]

I make a move to ignore kngHenry and his further ramblings on his problems.

I second the motion. And I kick him in the balls for good measure.

 

[Sparta]

Thirded

 

[15357]

um, fourthed?

 

[Lucid]

I second the motion. And I kick him in the balls for good measure.

Fifth. ed.

 

[kngHenry]

ok, I'm addressing it ...you're either full of shit and this is all one big lie or you seriously need help ....which one's it going to be?

You make me feel like a psychopath

 

[bam23]

Four-ded

 

[KagePrototype]

If you are serious, we cannot help. If you're not, good thing I closed this. Regardless, this thread has more or less turned to flames, so down it goes.