"I Write Like"

[VirusType2]

Type something or paste something into the box and let it analyze your writing style.

http://iwl.me/

I just started typing whatever came to mind and didn't bother to think too much; it didn't really make sense:

These days, I just don't give a shit about white lies and syndication, or any other meaningless buzz-word. I like to sit back in my time capsule and wait for the world to end. Sure, it isn't glamorous or gratifying, but it sure is easy. The easy life; that's what I'm getting at. This is what is missing in this world today. So as I sit and pick my nose, wondering about the Apocalypse, I realize that it doesn't matter. It never really mattered - nothing did - or ever will.

'

It said I write like Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. (pronounced /?v?n???t/; November 11, 1922 – April 11, 2007) was an American novelist who wrote works blending satire, black comedy, and science fiction, such as Slaughterhouse-Five (1969), Cat's Cradle (1963), and Breakfast of Champions (1973). He was known for his humanist beliefs as well as being honorary president of the American Humanist Association. He is widely considered one of the most influential American writers of the 20th century.

 

[love_nutz2]

My passage:

There was a cold onion in the press, it awakened to the horror of the press opening, it was a sad site, slipping and twisting, it cried in terror and the human grabbed the onion, the human laughed wickedly, as he was about to consume the onion with a slice of chicken and bread

I write like
Stephen King

Stephen Edwin King (born September 21, 1947) is an American author of contemporary horror, suspense, science fiction and fantasy fiction. He is best known for novels such as Carrie, Firestarter, Christine and the seven-novel series The Dark Tower, which King wrote over a period of 27 years, and contains many links to his other novels. As of 2010, King has written and published 49 novels, including seven under the pen name Richard Bachman, five non-fiction books, and nine collections of short stories. He has collaborated with authors Peter Straub and Stewart O'Nan. Many of his novels and short stories have been adapted for film and television. In 2007, Marvel Comics began publishing comic books based on King's Dark Tower series, followed by adaptations of The Stand in 2008 and The Talisman in 2009.

King and his wife, Tabitha, have three children, Naomi, Joe and Owen. Tabitha, Joe and Owen are also published writers. In 2003, the National Book Foundation awarded King the Medal for Distinguished Contribution to American Letters.

 

[15357]

I just stuck my closing paragraph of my essay for my International class.

In the end, our true shield will be our willpower, and the eternal vigilance of ourselves, the younger generation, to refuse to submit to the demands of the tyrant and his communist hordes. The vigilance and the will to protect our citizens' lives and property, to defend our nation's freedoms against any threat we may encounter, and to preserve the ideals of democracy and the rights of man that we take for granted in our time of prosperity. And it's not just North Korea I'm talking about. It could be Red China and her hegemonic aspirations, or Japan and its newborn imperialistic tendencies. We must stand ready to defend ourselves in both mind and body, lest we learn the hard way that trust should be extended only to those who earn it, as our forbears once did. If we go on the same path we have been doing for a decade now - appeasing bullies, and sticking our collective heads in the sand - I assure all of you that there will be a third tragedy in the history of contemporary Korea.

Holy shit. It said I write like H.P. Lovecraft. Lovecraft. I mean, wtf?

Another paragraph from same essay:

Combine this with the belief that North Korea does not a threat to us, and you have the greatest threat to the security of the Republic of Korea and her populace. Our freedoms and liberties, our democratic ideals, and most of all our very own existence depends on our will to safeguard our nation. If we fail to recognize an enemy and a threat when we see one, we are doomed. Have we already forgotten how we had fallen to the Japanese a hundred years ago? Have we forgotten the horrible war 50 years ago and the millions of lives lost? In both cases, Korean society was becoming weak, the populace's vigilance waning. Nobody acted to stop the Japanese enslave us, or the North from attacking us until it was too late, because most of the population believed the enemy's lies of peace and friendship until they stabbed us in the back. Decades of slavery and millions of lives later, we still have not learnt our lesson. *******l once remarked, "Those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.". And we are on the verge of repeating the same mistakes our forbears made.

Again, Lovecraft.

 

[PvtRyan]

I write like Anne Rice

My text:

penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis

Good to know.

Inputting just 'vagina' also gives Anne Rice. Gotta read some of her books, I guess.

 

[VirusType2]

Inputting just 'vagina' also gives Anne Rice. Gotta read some of her books, I guess.

penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis penis

It looks like that's what she was thinking about.

EDIT:

In October 2004, Rice announced in a Newsweek article that she would henceforth "write only for the Lord." Her subsequent book, Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt, she calls the beginning of a series chronicling the life of Jesus. The second volume, Christ the Lord: The Road to Cana, was published in March 2008.

 

[love_nutz2]

Ok I tried it again with a story I wrote ages ago.

The world fades from the darkness to a poorly lit room, a man sits on a very old bed, and he looks down on the ground, possibly to think about something? Something he regretted? Or something he was planning that he thought long and hard about?

J. Shephard: My Name is Jack Shephard.

Shephard didn’t move his lips, he spoke in thought alone, narrating what he said to he could tell his plan to you alone, but just because he spoke with his mind, didn’t mean he had a lot to say.

J. Shephard: Today, I’m going to break into the Quarantine Zone, today I break the lie of the cover up, today I will make history.

The world fades into the darkness for a brief moment and a picture of a circle with an inter-circle appeared. There was an outer-circle that had a yellow colour on it and there was an inter-circle that had a red on it. This could possibly be the Quarantine Zone on a map; there were marks on the map, possible ways to get in to the Quarantine Zone?

J. Shephard: for 15 years, the quarantine zone has been closed, no one knows what happened there, no one besides the government.

The world begins to fade once again, but like before, it came back to the light to show a picture of a spacecraft of some kind.

J. Shephard: These are my biggest problem, they patrol the skies of the quarantine zone, why would the quarantine zone need this much protection?

The world once again faded to the darkness and faded back to the light to show a picture of soldiers

I write like
Arthur C. Clarke

WTF?

 

[Barnz]

"Bioshock sucks monkey balls. Give me back my ten dollars, you ****ing 2K!"

You write like: Chuck Palahniuk

 

[DEATH eVADER]

This place gave an eerie sense of intrigue. Peering into the church windows, it became apparent that the warm orange flickering insde was from the numerous candles startegically placed at each corners of the buildings to give the maximum amount of light throughout. After the shocking events that even local physicists, meteorologists or geologists could not fathom, the village's vicar and few of the local choir had reopened the church to reassure the local residents. However the attacks on individuals, even groups of people, had caused many residents to flee, seek shelter in their own homes or regroup in the nearby pub. Afterall if this was to be the end of the world, which many people felt it would be, they would want to go on their own terms; after a stiff glass of one of the finest bitters or lagers on offer at the time.

I write like
Vladimir Nabokov

Vladimir Vladimirovich Nabokov (Russian: ????????? ????????????? ????????, pronounced[vl??d?im??r n??bok?f]; 22 April [O.S. 10 April] 1899c – 2 July 1977) was a multilingualRussian-American novelist and short story writer. Nabokov wrote his first nine novels in Russian, then rose to international prominence as a master English prose stylist. He also made contributions to entomology and had an interest in chess problems.
Nabokov's Lolita (1955) is frequently cited as among his most important novels and is his most widely known, exhibiting the love of intricate word play and synesthetic detail that characterised all his works. The novel was ranked at #4 in the list of the Modern Library 100 Best Novels.[2] Pale Fire (1962) was ranked at #53 on the same list. His memoir entitled Speak, Memory was listed #8 on the Modern Library nonfiction list.[3]

 

[MJ12]

I got one question mahn, tell me who's next. This ****** salt my ******, cause he the king of the rest. See I'm the best man. I did it.

Yeah, I’m a let you know who the best, by the hour, he’s like Rosie O’Donnell at a bisexual bridal shower.
It ain’t nothing to me man, I keep it for real, look at his dental man, with… dent on the grill,
see, I’m the best, I told you that, this dude like that, he running from the cat. No, I messed up, but I’m a stay on top, they told me man, but you know man, I’m never gunna flop. Look at this dude he need to stay in the shade, ain’t no wonder why he came out, he already in the gay parade. I told you man, I got you, roasted like ever you dont know, but my rhymes, they straight up clever, so you step down, off the pedestal. I’m the best mayne, you need to go.. to the ****in’ dental.

You write like: James Joyce.

 

[Druckles]

Cory Doctorow[/URL][/B] - Apparently he's a sci-fi writer or something.

You wouldn't believe the day I had. I moved down to Cambridge for another summer internship, yesterday, into a house I'm renting for eight weeks. I could tell the landlady was somewhat odd when I first met her. Eccentric, as she put it, was a pretty accurate description. She seemed incredibly self-absorbed, and her personality had hints of an out-of-work actress. Conversations seemed like waves of words, and at times even nodding or single-syllable agreements seemed like they were wasted. She seemed like a very difficult person to deal with, and the house itself seemed lacking and insecure.

I'd managed to settle in, however, and put thoughts of moving elsewhere out of my mind. I felt it best to have a two week trial and see what would come out of it. My girlfriend had mentioned her dad had offered her a lift next weekend, and would probably be willing to help shift some stuff it came to it. The night passed, and all seemed OK until I discovered there was no shower. Well, no lock on the door was excusable, and I could work around the lack of a freezer, but having no shower made me feel like I'd been driven to a refugee camp. Still, with my typical nonchalance, I tried to ignore it and put off finding other accommodation.

Unfortunately, I shortly discovered that my landlady had managed to arrange for someone else to stay in the same room. That was pretty much the final straw for me. I decided to find somewhere else before next weekend, and moved into her daughter's room.

Apparently Cory Doctorow again. Guess that mean's it's pretty sensible.

I write like
Arthur C. Clarke

WTF?

Jealous.

 

[Laivasse]

I got Cory Doctorow too. He blogs on issues relating to technology and civil liberty and I seem to recall that he talks a lot of sense. Had a Guardian column I believe.

 

[Rizzo]

He was so dreamy. And beautiful. Something so primal, and special. Had you asked me then I could have told you he'd never like me, becouse I'm such a nincompoo. Nothing I ever do ever turns out right, and I fall down like, all the time. But it was something he found so facinating about me, in all my specialness, that he keept staring at me so intense I thought my skin whould burst or something. Becouse he was so intense. And in some way, I knew I was a specialsnow flake. His special snowflake. But our love was forbidden, and he said we could never be together. But that just really filled it with more specialness. Also there where werewolves and stuff. Like, the vampire mafia and whatever. Also shirts where forbidden. Like our love.

Chuck Palahniuk.

Not what I was hoping.

 

[PvtRyan]

I write like Isaac Asimov

Input:

robots, robots, robots, robots, robots, robots, robots, robots, robots, robots

How... expected.

 

[MorganFreeman911]

I got Cory Doctorow, too.

 

[love_nutz2]

I inputed 2 more of my stories, I got: Dan Brown and James Joyce

 

[PvtRyan]

I inputed 2 more of my stories, I got: Dan Brown and James Joyce

You wrote this story, didn't you?

The Virgin Mary was Jesus' sister, before she married da Vinci, who was the head of the Catholic Church. After that, she was no longer a Jew, but the wife of the Space Pope.

It's pretty predictable, methinks 90% of its algorithm consists of a comparison with an author's most used words. Or perhaps I don't supply it with enough information and that's the only thing the algorithm can do.

 

[Shakermaker]

It's pretty predictable, methinks 90% of its algorithm consists of a comparison with an author's most used words. Or perhaps I don't supply it with enough information and that's the only thing the algorithm can do.

Yeah, I am quite sure it works that way. I put in a long post of mine from the gaming forum and got Doctorow as well.

 

[VirusType2]

Dmitry Chestnykh, a 27-year-old Russian, modeled the site on software for e-mail spam filters and uploaded works by about 50 authors. He never expected the sudden success and plans to improve the site's accuracy by including more books.

I put in CliffyB:

I think there’s a reason why it’s been successful. Because gamers love Gears.

It’s like well, here’s something that’s like Gears, but even has more depth, and a different setting.

Cory Doctorow

 

[love_nutz2]

You wrote this story, didn't you?

Yep, there not great stories just something I did to fill the time.

 

[YROC]

I write like Stephen King, apparently.

Spoiler

Time to make some money.

Spoiler

He makes money, right? :|

 

[love_nutz2]

Quite alot of it, he gets most of it from deals with hollywood and TV land.

 

[xcellerate]

from reddit: I write like Stephanie Meyer:

herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp edward cullen herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp herp derp

 

[DEATHMASTER]

Tried entering multiple things from a story of mine. 3x Cory Doctorow, 3x Stephen King, 2x James Joyce, 1x Arthur Clarke.

:|

 

[Viperidae]

It's pretty predictable, methinks 90% of its algorithm consists of a comparison with an author's most used words.

Correct!

hobbits hobbits hobbits trees elfs dwarfs evil bad forest wizards magic gandalf

 

[Polaris]

Douglas Adams and James Joyce. Pretty cool.

 

[Xevrex]

I wrote like Dan Brown in a politics post I made a few days ago, and David Foster Wallace in my application essay for Phi Alpha Theta.

David Foster Wallace (February 21, 1962 – September 12, 2008) was an American author of novels, essays, and short stories, and a professor at Pomona College in Claremont, California. He was widely known for his 1996 novel Infinite Jest,[2][3] which Time included in its All-Time 100 Greatest Novels list (covering the period 1923–2006).[4]
Los Angeles Times book editor David Ulin called Wallace "one of the most influential and innovative writers of the last 20 years."[2]

QUICK EDIT: Put in another essay (two paragraphs from my National Honour Society application essay) and got H.P. Lovecraft. I guess I'm pretty inconsistent with my writing style. ;_;

 

[KiplingsCat]

I just got back from Allihies via Kenmare via Killarney and I was stuck on the bus the whole time with this awful man who smelled funny and sat with his legs spread wide so I was all squashed up against the window. It's raining and Friends is on and Cathal is on his way down. There's an empty bottle of Bombay Sapphire on the coffee table with the end of a candle stuck into it leftover from Thursday night, and the central heating is making a friendly rumbling noise.

I write like James Joyce too, apparently.
It's funny because I'm reading Ulysses at the moment.

 

[Bob_Marley]

Having put in the first page or two of various essays I've written I write like Ian Flemming, Charles Dickens, George Orwell, Dan Brown, Arthur C. Clarke and Kurt Vonnegut. Apparently.

I must have a wildly varying writing style.

 

[L3N!N]

Something about her cadence and mild hubris, accompanied by her gravitas, stirred quite a feeling in me. It conjured a chill to my bone, to which I responded with a gentle acceptance.

And then it said I wrote like Mary Shelley. I hope this is a good thing.

 

[KiplingsCat]

Mary Shelley was cool. You should be glad.

 

[Absinthe]

I just searched up an old post here, bitching some shit about TF2 or whatever, and I got Cory Doctorow like a few others here.

Maybe if I gave it something less geeky I'd get something else.

 

[Druckles]

It's pretty predictable, methinks 90% of its algorithm consists of a comparison with an author's most used words. Or perhaps I don't supply it with enough information and that's the only thing the algorithm can do.

It's hard to tell, if all you write is words. That's obviously all it can do. You'd probably have to use more rigorous methods of testing to find out.

Even that is probably quite adept at comparisons. If your paragraph's context isn't implicit, i.e. you don't use a lot of key words about a subject, like 'hobbit', or 'penis', then the words you use frequently, like adjectives and the like would probably make a good comparison.

 

[Raziaar]

Yo. I write like Leo Tolstoy. Leo Tolstoy is the bomb.

Brilliant!

 

[OmegaX]

Stephen King and Edgar Allen Poe. This thing isn't accurate at all.

 

[Raziaar]

Stephen King and Edgar Allen Poe. This thing isn't accurate at all.

No, it isn't accurate.

It's a retarded ego booster. It should simply be honest and say, "YOU DON'T WRITE LIKE ANY OF THESE FAMOUS PEOPLE, YOU SHOULD TAKE MORE CLASSES. BRUSH UP ON YOUR LITERARY ARTS"

But instead, everybody can say how they write like Edgar Allen Poe or George Orwell or Emily Dickinson.

 

[Yuri]

phony bastard phony bastard phony bastard

I write like
J. D. Salinger

:| :| :|

 

[Naph]

Normal pipebombs and rockets dealt by Demomen and Soldiers may not be a large problem in moderation. But sticky bombs are the biggest threat in terms of explosives. However, these bombs can be neutralised by a weapon. If you notice that a few sticky bombs are piling up beside your base, whip out your shotgun before they exploded. Shooting armed sticky bombs will get rid of them but beware; three bombs fairly close to your equipment will knock out anything, two is on the safer side. Also, if the demoman sees you destroy one of his bombs, he won't hesitate to explode the rest. This is a test of speed in terms of destroying the stickies and repairing your sentry gun damaged by the ones that did detonate. If you have a good setup, this encounter will be rare but it will happen occasionally. If it is a regular occurrence, build elsewhere, the demomen will have to locate your setup all over again.

I write like Dan Brown :|

 

[Yuri]

Yeah, this thing is just a keyword-searcher. It has a bunch of keywords that it attributes to a certain famous work and author, and gives you a score for each keyword. Whoever has the highest score is who you write like.

phony phony phony phony phony phony is J.D. Salinger's A Catcher in the Rye
robot robot robot robot robot robot is Isaac Asimov's I, Robot
book burn book burn book burn book burn book burn book burn is Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451
vampires vampires vampires vampires vampires vampires is Stephanie Meyer's Twilight
wizards wizards wizards wizards wizards wizards is J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series
elves elves elves elves elves elves is J. R. R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings

Even stupid things, like character names, work.
humbert humbert humbert humbert humbert humbert is Vladimir Nabokov's Lolita

But duh. It would have been cool if it actually analyzed sentence structure or anything like that, but whatchagonnado. Maybe it still does.

 

[love_nutz2]

cock munching is for the future dickwod, creepy son of a bitch, groped my pine

Hmmm...

I write like
James Joyce

 

[FISHY CRACKERS]

Apparently i write like Cory Doctorow... Who's Cory Doctorow?

To be honest, this seems like a stupid test and a waste of time. However, i don't have anything else to do at the moment besides reading David Thorne emails. Those tend to make me laugh. Now i'm stuck thinking of what to write here, and honestly, this seems as good as anything. I now contemplate whether or not i can eat one more cheeseburger from White Castle; I mean, they are really small, i should be able to finish off one more. You know, this actually isn't so bad. All i'm really doing is typing down everything i think. That reminds me of all those television shows, or even books where there's one character who can read the minds of others, and the other characters constantly have to watch what they're thinking. Personally, i find this redundant, because if you focus on not thinking of something, then aren't you thinking of it? It's like thinking about not losing the Game, which i just lost. I wonder what that little red X is next to the flag in the lower right corner of my screen... should i stop writing now? I should probably close that bag of chips before they get stale. Actually, i wonder how fast chips get stale. Usually it takes like, two days or so, right? But last time i accidentally left a bag open, it was stale by the next day. Those were, however, the puffy cheese doodles, so that might have had something to do with it. Jesus, this is a lot of text... I really think i should stop typing now. But now, i suddenly want to keep going... No no, best to stop while i'm ahead. Am i ahead right now? I honestly don't think so...