In Tribute

[Narcolepsy]

Gaze into his face...

Remember the man. The myth...

The Legend

The emergence of Short Recoil

Short Recoil began life on HL2.net as a regular Half-Life 2 player. However, it soon emerged that he was more than your regular Half-Life 2 player. Claiming to be a rifles and knives expert he rapidly increased his ego, overtaking even the most egotistical members, such as The Dark Elf.

He loudly stated that he had no desire to undertake sexual activities, supressing the urge for the greater good of the universe. After all, why procreate when you are going to live forever anyway? He also claimed that any woman he tried to undergo sexual acts with would die of ecstasy and euphoria in less than a second. He had to lay aside his basic 'animal instincts' in order to keep a clear head.

He always made it known that he was a strong believer of a firm but fair society - survival of the fittest. And he endured great challenges to ensure that he was the fittest. Running up Mt. Snowdonia, in just a pair of shorts, in the blisteringly cold snow, he was crowned a Demi-God on the 3rd February 2005.

It did not stop there. In his voracity for fitness and to become the supreme being of the world, Short Recoil ran up and down Snowdonia regularly for 3 months, until one day, on his run he was splashed by a passing landrover. A most frightening thing happened. Our Demi-God hero saw the red mist, and with lightning quick actions, he caught up to the landrover and punched his fist into the metal framework, denting the car and almost stalling the engine. The landrover continued on, the driver barely escaping with his life.

As time passed, Short Recoil boasted more and more about his legendary accomplishments. He became big-headed and ego-centric.

The Godly powers that be, lead by someone, possibly Zeus, Jupiter or Zerimski decided that enough was enough. Within an instant, Short Recoil was gone. Banished to the zone outside of HL2.net.

Dark Age: The IP ban of Short Recoil

During an period of very characteristic renegade activity, Zerimski decided that he was too threatened by the incredible force of Short Recoil, and that he must be removed. Hence, the ensuing "Dark Age of HL2.net".

Insignificant plebs such as Garfield pleaded for Short Recoil to be released from his stranglehold in the abyss. This was denied several times.

Over a period of several months, the community degraded into anarchy and unrest. The lack of an almighty being was beginning to take its toll on HL2.net. It was noted Short Recoil still visited the site everyday in a vain attempt to recapture his former glory. But to no avail.

Finally, Zerimski had seen enough of the disorder. Short Recoil's bannishment was lifted, the gates were open once again to greet Short Recoil back into the community.

Where is he? I thought he was unbanned?

No Messiah came. The gates were open, he was unbanned. He continued to visit the site everyday, but not post anything. Pressure attempted to coax Short Recoil back onto the forums with an entire thread dedicated to Short Recoil. This included poetry and pictures (see below), in a humongous tribute effort to the man-mountain himself.

However it emerged that Zerimski had forgotten to lift Short Recoil's IP ban. In his temporary leave of abscence from the site, he was unable to be reached to lift the ban. Negotiation with other admins ensured that the IP ban was lifted, as they could not contain the civil disorder that had unfolded on the web forums.

Short Recoil was back. People cheered in the streets and rallied around him.

Enlightenment: The Return of Short Recoil

Upon his return, Short Recoil pledged never to boast his monumental achievements ever again.

This promise was shortly forgotten, and the Golden Age of Short Recoil commenced.

God-like activities became more and more bizarre, with Short Recoil claiming to have hormone levels of a male elephant, and being able to paralyse himself in order to have surgery without anaesthetic.

Short Recoil can still be seen roaming the forums to this very day. He still has no desire to procreate and he represses his sexual urges in order to channel his energies into commanding the universe.

And his words of wisdom...

* I used to hone reaction speed and eye hand coordination by blocking bb's fired at me from 10-20 metres with a katana

* Something funny happened on my way home from work. I was running along and some range rover with some young lads in the back drove past and one of the lads in the back squirted water over me from a bottle, i just f*cking lost it, i got increadibly angry and didn't know what to do other than just sprint after the car, i must have literally been running over 30mph, i actually caught up with the car and slammed my fist between the words "range" and "rover" on the back, leaving a suprisingly large dent (i was really pissed off), they shat themselves and drove off fast, the face of the person sat in the back i will never forget, i must have looked like liquid metal terminator from terminator 2.

* The two recomendations that gorilla warfairy[sic?] would also be mine.

* How many are being born now? Not many at all, the world has changed lots.
I'll be one of the last legends.

* I can feign death quite well my stopping breathing and putting my heart into an extremely weak pulse but this is even cooler.

* When I go for a run, I overtake lorries.

* Yeah i run 6 miles every day at least (except for 1 or 2 day a week rest, so i don't break my ankles)
I've got a massive body and i piss like a horse so i like my 6 litres [of water].

* With my working out i have hormone levels of a male elephant, sometimes i find myself almost unstoppably attracted to women but i like to exercise full logical control over most things i do, otherwise i'm closer to being an animal.

So forget the grocery store. Forget the temptation. Forget the drunken posts, brought about by the alcohol that only his godly liver could hope to fight. Forget the fall. Remember this man for what he truly was. A man of jaw-droppingly good looks, the hormones of a male elephant, and a heart to match. Remember Short Recoil.

 

[hungryduck]

I am in reverence....




lets go back to "what's in your pocket??" threads now.

 

[Icarusintel]

What manner of rubbish is this?

 

[Greatgat]

...who?

 

[Shamrock]

I might jump on the bandwagon, too, and leave this site once and for all.

Debating...

 

[Teta_Bonita]

lol this forum is so odd.

(<3 you guys)

 

[SimonomiS]

I applaud this thread.

 

[torso boy]

:| Why should I care?

 

[Qonfused]

This is sad. Dunno what's more pathetic, "goodbye threads" or this one.

 

[Uriel]

Ill leave on April 21st. Thats when I leave on my mission for 2 years.

 

[Adabiviak]

sheesh - take a pill.

 

[Skaadi]

Ill leave on April 21st. Thats when I leave on my mission for 2 years.

I didnt know a door knocking session took that long......
jk

And theres my crap joke for the day..

 

[SimonomiS]

This is sad. Dunno what's more pathetic, "goodbye threads" or this one.

Usually I'd agree with you, but short recoil was at least a character on this forum, an interesting persona, someone memorable, unlike the other boring ****s.

 

[Uriel]

I didnt know a door knocking session took that long......
jk

And theres my crap joke for the day..

Heh, i still giggled like a school girl.

 

[JNightshade]

*applauds*

 

[Boogymanx]

/salute

 

[Icarusintel]

I might jump on the bandwagon, too, and leave this site once and for all.

Debating...

You should go... I could use a new sex slave

 

[Sulkdodds]

We should have lynched the bastard or burnt him in a viking longboat as a witch or something.

 

[CptStern]

HL2.net had it's own Chuck Norris in Short Recoil, his legendary exploits will be missed

 

[Hectic Glenn]

Narcolepsy...you been reading the wiki? Thats all lifted from there i believe. How very dare you. *het frown*

 

[Evo]

HL2.net had it's own Chuck Norris in Short Recoil, his legendary exploits will be missed

Lokl


A great man, or Demi-God sorely missed by all D:

 

[Sulkdodds]

Narcolepsy...you been reading the wiki? Thats all lifted from there i believe. How very dare you.

I think Pressure posted that lot here, noob.

 

[Asknoone]

/Samon farts on tribute.

 

[ZeeM]

hay guyz what's going on in this thread?


edit: :hmph:

 

[mortiz]

You're forgetting about Short Recoils early life.

Short Recoil was born inside the singularity of a collapsing star, the extreme gravitational effects made him near indestructible. When he used all of his amazing strength to pull himself out of the event horizon of a black hole he decided to fly around the universe for a bit, saving the weak and undefended, righting injustices, and putting things right, that once went wrong.

After a 100000000000000000000 years traveling faster than the speed of light, he eventually arrived on our little insignificant planet, seeing out strife he decided to stay and give us, on this very forum, the honor of first contact. Now he thinks his work here is done, and must move on, there is still a lot of hatred and pain in the world that he must deal with. And that as we say is that.

 

[Beerdude26]

Beerdude26 applauds

 

[Icarusintel]

/Samon farts on tribute.

F*cking A :cheers:

 

[$kelet0r]

/Samon farts a tribute.

Fixed :E

 

[JNightshade]

Originally Posted by Samon
/Samon tributes a fart.

Don't ask me why.

 

[CyberPitz]

/standing ovation.