Is your son a haxor??

[jimbo118]

http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html

old article i saw at tbf2.com, thought i'd post it here, quite funny, the amd bit anyway.

 

[15357]

my father actuallly gave me a hacking manual..... :|

 

[Dekstar]

L.M.F.A.O.
Bes thing I've read all day, and that poll top right is great.

 

[15357]

go read the comments

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

I love the irony of many of those comments.

 

[FictiousWill]

If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

Oh noes I am supporting terrorism with my hacker chip!

edit: oh this is just ridiculous.

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government.

 

[Dekstar]

I'm going to forward this to all the fathers and mothers I can find, see what they say ^_^

 

[15357]

btw, what the heck is lunix? sounds dangerous...

 

[jimbo118]

Oh noes I am supporting terrorism with my hacker chip!

lol that was the best bit alright. i love the comments too.

lunix=linux i guess if you were being serious.

how could i have been so blind...i have been putting firewall after firewall on my system. when along along i have tryyng to keep myself out... yes now that i have read your article i realize that i am a hacker...I have reviewed my computer and discovered filthy programs running amuck everywhere...Flash. MP3's. DOS. BIOS. and the holy grail of hacking, yes its true I HAVE LINUX, i am so sorry and at this moment the police are on their way to put me away...THANK YOU for opening my unworthy eyes

good piss take.

 

[The Dark Elf]

http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html

old article i saw at tbf2.com, thought i'd post it here, quite funny, the amd bit anyway.

lmao thats great. The AMD bit is just too funny hahaha, I wonder if this parent is also religious and thinks games caused WWII.

 

[Ennui]

Oh noes I am supporting terrorism with my hacker chip!

edit: oh this is just ridiculous.

I was about to post this.

Is this a joke? I want it to be but I don't think it is..

edit:

There are, unfortunately, many hacking manuals available in bookshops today. A few titles to be on the lookout for are: "Snow Crash" and "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson; "Neuromancer" by William Gibson; "Programming with Perl" by Timothy O'Reilly; "Geeks" by Jon Katz; "The Hacker Crackdown" by Bruce Sterling; "Microserfs" by Douglas Coupland; "Hackers" by Steven Levy; and "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" by Eric S. Raymond.

Neuromancer!? WTF?! I swear, probably about 2 of those books actually have anything to do with hacking. Funny how he left out the book I have on essentially how to hack, Steal This Computer Book 2. Not to mention he fails to realize that TITLE OF BOOKS ARE PUT IN ITALICS OR UNDERLINED, NOT IN QUOTATION MARKS.

/me is getting annoyed as always with ignorant idiots ;(

 

[The Dark Elf]

I was about to post this.

Is this a joke? I want it to be but I don't think it is...

It's a joke to everyone but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if the person writing it believed it all. :E

lol @ the comments

 

[jimbo118]

I wonder if this parent is also religious and thinks games caused WWII.

yeah i thought that too.

 

[Ennui]

Also lol @ the ninth one, they're talking about ravers not hackers.

edit: hehe, DOOM MAED WWII! THE TIME GAP IS A MINOR DETAIL!

 

[jimbo118]

do not mean to find fault with the article. It was extremely informative and the writer did almost as good a job as I might have done. Unfortunately in section 5, the link for "breaking the law" is the incorrect one. Please visit either of these two for a better description of breaking the law.


Posting for the love of the baby Jesus

 

[jimbo118]

now this is scary

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/main.htm

 

[CREMATOR666]

I wish my grandad was a hacker...is that possible?

 

[Absinthe]

Adequacy.org is a humor site, although it's subtle enough to give doubts to some. They've had similar articles like this regarding "Is your son doing drugs?". In almost all cases, they ask questions like "Is your son starting to listen to heavier/more alternative music?", "Is he dressing differently?", "Does he have a Bob Marley album?".

It's all shits 'n giggles.

 

[CREMATOR666]

now this is scary

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/main.htm

Okay now that's just....I dunno...weird? Nice drawings, tho

 

[Absinthe]

now this is scary

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/main.htm

Now that is the kind of contradictory, hateful, ignorant, craptastic, sugar-coated bullshit that irks me to no end.

 

[jimbo118]

Now that is the kind of contradictory, hateful, ignorant, craptastic, sugar-coated bullshit that irks me to no end.

yeah, stuff like that unsettles me.*shivers*

 

[Sid Burn]

Cool... hackers!

 

[The Dark Elf]

now this is scary

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/main.htm

pretty pictures but wtf? lol

 

[FictiousWill]

now this is scary

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/main.htm

holy damn that's some scary shit.

 

[Absinthe]

I love how that stupid ****in' site tries to link the viewing of pornography to spouse abuse and statutory rape.

Go screw yourselves with an eggbeater.

ADDED: AND IT HAS SUCH AN IGNORANT AND ILL-INFORMED PRESENTATION OF EVOLUTION. JESUS CHRIST, WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. STOP IT. STOP IT YOU LYING AND BACKASSWARDS MORONS.

Sorry, I needed that. It's just this kind of stupid crap that makes me want to burn Christians alive in an irrational fury.

 

[JellyWorld]

The scariest thing is that 90% of the comments seem to assume that the article is actually serious. And lol @ the ninth one too.

 

[JellyWorld]

now this is scary

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/main.htm

The Christian Fundamentalist Manual!

 

[xLostx]

Holy shit...I'm a computer hacker!!!!111 :O

 

[nick_t]

Is this for real???

 

[Ennui]

Is this for real???

read the thread!

 

[Shodan]

Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

I typed Telnet into the run command line, and a scary black hax0r demon popped up on my computer!

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

Hardened veterans of the tough virtual reality training program "Quake" have congregated into a mass battle to the death known as a "Lan-party"

REPENT!

 

[JellyWorld]

now this is scary

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/main.htm

Ok, is it just me or do they fail to appreciate the difference between rock and death metal?

 

[Llama]

Hardened veterans of the tough virtual reality training program "Quake" have congregated into a mass battle to the death known as a "Lan-party"

REPENT!

I nearly p**sed myself laughing at the quake reference

 

[HunterSeeker]

now this is scary

http://www.thetruthforyouth.com/main.htm

And here I thought a bicucle rusting was order and not chaos...

 

[jimbo118]

And here I thought a bicucle rusting was order and not chaos...

?????bicucle?

 

[baron insig]

Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash"

WTF

 

[HunterSeeker]

?????bicucle?

erm bicycle, read the evolution bit

 

[Dan]

I thought things tended to move from disorder to order. If you think of a mountain grinding down to a flat plain, the plain has a lot more order than the jagged rocks and is more stable.

 

[Shodan]

If you find any of these hacking manuals in your child's possession, confiscate them immediately. You should also petition local booksellers to remove these titles from their shelves. You may meet with some resistance at first, but even booksellers have to bow to community pressure.

I can't belive this, It can't be serious.

I wish non-geeks wouldn't interfere.

 

[<RJMC>]

6. Does your son use Quake?

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you. You should ensure all the firearms in your house are carefully locked away, and have trigger locks installed. You should also bring your concerns to the attention of his school.

HAHAHAAHHAAAHHA

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.

hahaha since when hacking is related to fashion?

As an enlightened, modern parent, I try to be as involved as possible in the lives of my six children. I encourage them to join team sports. I attend their teen parties with them to ensure no drinking or alcohol is on the premises. I keep a fatherly eye on the CDs they listen to and the shows they watch, the company they keep and the books they read. You could say I'm a model parent. My children have never failed to make me proud, and I can say without the slightest embellishment that I have the finest family in the USA.

lol that made me want to punch it in the face