Last night. And I'd never had trouble in town...

[ComradeBadger]

....before now. Went to the pub, and no-one was manly enough to go up to the bar and order. We went to Tescos, I got some Fosters, and went to the checkout, first person I went to was under 18, so he couldn't serve me, so I went over to this girl who I know has a thing for me... but she couldn't serve me, becuase I didn't have ID, and her supervisor was nearby. Now let me explain, Faversham (my town) has a massive underage drinking problem, with people buying stuff and then going and trashing the town. Now you see, me and my mates never do anything like that... so it's annoying. So back to the Phoenix we went, and some of my friends (who looked under 18) bought lemonade and I went up to the bar, to order a pint of Guiness and a Bracardi Breezer for my mate (he's known as Fat Tony on these forums). I said "Can I have a pint of Guiness please, and an orange Bracardi for the little guy" gesturing to the table. The bar manager (he's alright usually, he's served me [with a different group of mates, natch] before) said, "Well theres not one person on that table who's over 18 in my opinion, do they have any ID?"
I said "No" and he said, "Well, I can't serve you guys then".... waiting for the others to finish their drinks, and then we went to the co-op, becuase I still wanted a drink. I went to the co-op, and ran into a nice bloke, and he agreed to buy us some lager. He gave me the beer, turned out it was Budweiser, and I thanked him, saying I'd buy him a pint when I next run into him. We went out, past a bunch of chavs, who I paid no attention to, but we went off, and they followed us, lobbing eggs. We ran to someone's dad's house, and he gave us a lift to another house. We broke out the beer, and started to drink... it was at this point I remembered why I don't like Budwiser... tastes vile. So, we walked off to the park, beers in hand.... and went home... painfully sober. :flame:

God I hate pikies.... ruin everything :hmph:

 

[king John I]

ohh. not a nice night by the sounds of it. ;(

going home sober isn't that bad, for me its just when twats that are drunk or druggys, man i HATE druggys, come up to you and act all tough and try and start a fight.

now this wouln't be so bad if they weren't 2 or 3 years older than me and usally in larger groups too. one of my worst nights was like that.

 

[Gorgon]

Bad boys you should call.

 

[Dedalus]

so what happened with the lady friend? if not alcohol then you could've slipped something else down her throat.

 

[king John I]

thats sick...


(or am i just sick? meh if its what i think it is, :x )

 

[ComradeBadger]

I'm seeing her tonight, so I hope all goes well

Has to be better than last night :hmph:

 

[Dedalus]

yeah sounds like a real crappy night. there must've been other pubs around.

what i used to do was find a random bloke, ask him to buy me some drinks and i'd say get yourself one as well. normally worked.

oh yeah, my birthday today, so ima getting totally shitfaced. just got a bottle of bailey's from a mate so i'm drinking it with shitloads of coffee. mmmmm tasty.

 

[Dedalus]

uh...i'm going mad.

about 14 cars just went past my window, all going in reverse. this bailey's is laced with acid or something.

 

[king John I]

tell us how i geos!

deos she like you in a sexual way, like you like her? it would be funny if you got showed up!


just joking, hope it works out.

 

[Faravid]

Hehe i switched to winter clothing and I look less of a metal listening person so now everywhere I go they're asking my papers, weird since that never happened in the summer or autumn, though I always carry my ID so it's not a big problem, just annoying.

 

[king John I]

maybe crime spree's only happen in winter?

 

[ComradeBadger]

I'll tell you all how it goes, and John, I don't know ...

Baileys with Mint is lovely

 

[king John I]

you dont know if she like you? sorry if i'm not to optimistic, but look on the bright side, at least she deosn't not like you.

 

[Dedalus]

holy ****

i just made ant lion

nice birthday present :bounce:


:cheers:

 

[Faravid]

Originally posted by Dedalus
holy ****

i just made ant lion

nice birthday present :bounce:


:cheers:

Birthday? HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (Yes I'm yelling to your right ear from close distance)

 

[king John I]

its your birthday?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, YOU SMELL LIKE A MONKEY AND YOU ACT LIKE ONE TOO.

who says these forums arnt nice?

(yes i know it sucks but i couldn't think of a better ryme)

 

[DarkelP]

Hey badger, is that the *wink, nudge* girl we talk about?
Yer that night does indeed sound sucky....that happend to me yesterday...
...Me and some fellow friends went to Oxford to watch Kill Bill (an excellent film, i might add) When these two homeless guys started on me, beause i said 'oh look, a dog' and the homeless guy thought i was dissin his dog. He proceed to shout that he'll rip my throat out, and that when im homless in a years time, that he's going to hunt me down and kill me. Then the other drunk decided to give me and my mates a lecture, as we ignored him, about how they dont care about police, and he'd done jail time, and that we'd be dead.
Both were blind drunk, which made me laugh becasue he was saying how its so hard to live on the streets with no money, yet they can buy alchol and keep a dog alive....ah well, was funny...in a sorta coulda died way...

Oh and...HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :cheers:

 

[DarkelP]

WOOT! STRIDER!

 

[king John I]

homeless and hobo's are funny,

we met this drunk homeless guy once, he was such a laugh, he was too drunk to walk straight so we shout insults at him and he tried to get us but fell over, that was a funny day indeed.

 

[Dedalus]

wow thanks. i'll remember to have five pints each for everyone one of you who said happy birthday.

well the student union bar is gonna open in about 40 minutes so i'd better be making a move. don't want to be late for first orders.

talk to you all later when i'm good and drunk.

:cheers:

 

[Faravid]

Originally posted by king John I
homeless and hobo's are funny,

we met this drunk homeless guy once, he was such a laugh, he was too drunk to walk straight so we shout insults at him and he tried to get us but fell over, that was a funny day indeed.

Sure it's funny as long as you don't end up like him, poor, homeless, desperate, ready to kill himself, etc...

 

[DarkelP]

Yes, come back drunk and make a thread! that would be funny! we can insult you and stuff...lol jkin.
King John, that happend to me also, there was this drunk homeless guy who couldnt walk, and he was startin on everyone who walked past....he was like gettin up, takin a sytep then fallin back. We just stopped and went 'come on then' and he just couldnt do it, everytime he came close, we took a step back..
..Might be cruel, but he did start it

 

[Faravid]

Originally posted by Dedalus
wow thanks. i'll remember to have five pints each for everyone one of you who said happy birthday.

well the student union bar is gonna open in about 40 minutes so i'd better be making a move. don't want to be late for first orders.

talk to you all later when i'm good and drunk.

:cheers:

Ah tomorrow I'm going to be sooo drunk. :cheers:

 

[king John I]

stupid hobo's


post when your drink faravid, so we can take this piss out of you, j/k

 

[The Bear]

Hey at least you can drink at 18.... In the US we have to wait until 21... wait nevermind. I am 15 and I know about 15 people who could buy me beer and get it to me in about an hour. Lol OH yes and might I ask what a chav is?

 

[Murray_H]

Originally posted by The Bear
Hey at least you can drink at 18.... In the US we have to wait until 21... wait nevermind. I am 15 and I know about 15 people who could buy me beer and get it to me in about an hour. Lol OH yes and might I ask what a chav is?

lol we were having a nice discussion about them last night on IRC, they are also known as townies and scallys

www.scallycentral.com

Check the galleries for some pictures of them. I think they are more of an British delicacy though

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

I thought i was thin!

http://www.scallycentral.com/images/citylife/scju0007.jpg

 

[ComradeBadger]

or, for a more scientific analysis of the common or garden 'chav' visit:

www.sheppyscum.com

Anyway... my plans for tonight are kinda scuppered (to use pirate lingo for no apparent reason) since a mutual friend is coming too but it's not all bad.. I dunno, this seems kinda bad ;(

 

[Dedalus]

i like alcohol.


who likes cheese?

 

[Dedalus]

badger mate

if this mutual friend is a girl then give her to king john. if it's a bloke then give ti go king john also.

unlucky though.

maybe you can get a threesome?

 

[Fat Tony!]

Ah Badger sharing his personal life with random people . And another thing you lie! You know i beat up ALL the chavs for u i mean there were 30 of them but no problem when you know how.

 

[ComradeBadger]

Meh, I don't care... it's my personal life, it's fun to discuss it with the forum... and Tony, you lie, I seem to recall you suggesting we go down random roads until we lost them...

this mutual friend is female, but I don't fancy her, she's a good mate

 

[DarkelP]

damn it badger, want me to come along? keep her busy lol

 

[Dr. Freeman]

damn that late sounds pretty sucky mrBadger..

oh well.. i guess there are advantages u don't notice right away about being 27

anyway.. dude it sounds like u have girls left, right and centre to choose from.. how the hell do u pull things like that off? :cheese:

 

[ComradeBadger]

Hehe, my mate got really pissed off cos I went out of a form room, and got hugged by 3 gals, and then was walking to somewhere else, and this other female friend of mine ran up to me and hugged me....

ah well, it's a tough old life

 

[Dr. Freeman]

Originally posted by mrBadger
Hehe, my mate got really pissed off cos I went out of a form room, and got hugged by 3 gals, and then was walking to somewhere else, and this other female friend of mine ran up to me and hugged me....

ah well, it's a tough old life

for some reason... this post reminded me of Gorgey Pourgey or whatever that rhyme is.. (the one where the cow jumps over the moon and Gorgey runs off with the girls.. lol)

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

um ummm Whos the fury little animal thats a sex machine to all the chicks?
Badger!
Who is the man that would risk his neck for his brother man? Badger!....Can you dig it?
Whos the cat that wont cop out when theres danger all about?
Badger!
Right on
You see this cat Badger (Huh?) is a bad mother fu...
Shut yo mouth!
But im talkin bout Badger
We can dig
....etc

For some reason that seemed to fit after all the talk about how badger is with the ladies

 

[DarkelP]

Badgers, too sexy for his shirt, to sexy for this forum, to sexy for his trousers it hurts!!!!


nope, it need a bald guy singing that for it to work

 

[Fat Tony!]

lol ^. Bah i wasnt prepared next time i bring m16s

Dam u posted before me lol owell ure both funny

 

[ApocalypseNow]

Lol you guys think thats a story!?!?....


Heres one for you,

Few weeks ago my friend adam had a bad "shroom" trip at this kick back we were at, and he ended starting to break into my other friends robert's neighbors houses, he ran in side the houses and just started breaking shit, and yelling "****, ****, ****, ****" as loud as he could. He broke into between 2-3 house and ended up scaring a few old ladies! By this time 4 cop cars showed up, and started to chase him down as he was running. I didn't see what happend with the cops chasing but, he said that they told him, that they pretty much beat him down. The cop also told him that he ended up socking one of the cops right in the head. Because of the shrooms, adam didnt remember anything that happend up until he ran into the 1st house. After he was arrested by the police, he was driven to the hospital via ambulence and was put in medical care. He said he had all sorts of crazy dreams! He ended up waking up in the hospital hang-cuffed to a bed with people saying that they would have to stick a cathader down his dick in order to get a urine sample.

LUCKY when the police caught him he was said to be Clinicly INSANE!!! so all charges (like breaking and entry, and destruction of private property) we dropped! and all he had to pay was $500 for the ambulence.

THE END...

I also have many other stories of me crashing my truck many times while Offroad at 1am drunk as hell but, thats another day.....