Acepilotf14
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And, that night, they had glorious secks and they found out that Dr. Breen was pregnant with a girl!!! So..
Lets spin a yaaaaaaarn!
- Thread starter Acepilotf14
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Acepilotf14
Sucked so much dick for this title
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SO FAR IN THE TALE OF BREEN AND HIS LOVE!
It was a bright and sunny day and Gordon Freeman was chewing noisily on a Lucozade bar when,
to his horror, he discovered a dead leech inside the bar which was disgusting,
unlike live leeches which taste like hooded salmon, rather than eggnog,
which had been in somewhat of a deficit since the Combine abolished X-Mas
and dr. breen decides to use superfluous quotation marks
just to be different from everyone else.
This was one of the many reasons why nobody liked Wallace Breen.
Oh, he tried to be friendly, attempted humour, made the effort at parties -
but somehow people would take one look at him and whisper "slug."
It was most disheartening. Indeed, one particular memory stood out:
When he was 17, and he went to his first real party. There was this one girl named
Jane. Thinking it would be clever, he cosied up to her and said, 'Hey Jane, I hear you're a real transvestite.'
Jane did not reply but instead she slowly reached into hammerspace and took out her
cock and waved it in his face exclaiming
"That enough answerin' for ya', hun?" This made Wallace turned off of women forever,
so he then decided to cull all poultry he ever came across again. This left him
As the perfect candidate for KFC. Unfortunately he could never fully qualify because
He was too chicken to cull chicken. His low self esteem issues led him to become a
manager of a local supermarket, where he found solace in a single can of baked beans.
Recardo, the large Hispanic man, and employee of the month took these can of beans and proceeded in
an orderly manner, to **** it dry. As you can see, there was plenty of trauma to make Breen
cry in disgust, infact, he was so repulsed by the unsanitary action, within the next month
Dr. Breen began having a strange fetish for bleach, windex and other household cleaning products.
Dr. Breen's girlfriend found this fetish to be very amazing if there wasn't the fact that
Dr. Breen was turned off by women forever. Breen envied other men's libido,
which was no small influence behind the reproductive supression field he employed years later in City 17.
But back to to past...
Some time after his traumatic experience, he started sporting an afro and joined G Unit.
During this time, he also developed an interest in secretive management,
and soon he betrayed them and joined Linkin Park and took over G-Unit,
putting them all in blue overalls and keeping them from having sex, until he caught the singer making love to a goat.
It was final, he decided he would be a prude for the rest of his life,
he also decided to study science at an institution,
there he fell in love with a 30 yr old Professor named Dr. Kleiner. Dr. Kleiner found Breen to be
the Cloverfield monster which he had no idea what it was.. so he went to the interwebs to find out, but
he only discovered that the internet is a crock of shit. He decided, instead, to turn to science fiction novels.
He read about teleportation, so he asked Dr. Kleiner about it, in which Kleiner responded
..."See if you can teleport me another beer from the fridge, ya lazy good for nothing grumble mumble...."...
Breen then cried at the insult, so to shut him up, Kleiner in his intoxicated state from robotripping and alcohol said
"okay, fine, I'll make you the Adminstrator at my special lab thingy I am workin on, if you shut the hell up and poor me another glass of nightquil"
And, that night, they had glorious secks and they found out that Dr. Breen was pregnant with a girl!!!
So Kleiner said "I know this student of mine, he does awesome things with his crowbar, including abortions",
in which Breen responded
(Edit: Holy crap, zombie, is that quote from 1984?)
(edit2: This story MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL.)
It was a bright and sunny day and Gordon Freeman was chewing noisily on a Lucozade bar when,
to his horror, he discovered a dead leech inside the bar which was disgusting,
unlike live leeches which taste like hooded salmon, rather than eggnog,
which had been in somewhat of a deficit since the Combine abolished X-Mas
and dr. breen decides to use superfluous quotation marks
just to be different from everyone else.
This was one of the many reasons why nobody liked Wallace Breen.
Oh, he tried to be friendly, attempted humour, made the effort at parties -
but somehow people would take one look at him and whisper "slug."
It was most disheartening. Indeed, one particular memory stood out:
When he was 17, and he went to his first real party. There was this one girl named
Jane. Thinking it would be clever, he cosied up to her and said, 'Hey Jane, I hear you're a real transvestite.'
Jane did not reply but instead she slowly reached into hammerspace and took out her
cock and waved it in his face exclaiming
"That enough answerin' for ya', hun?" This made Wallace turned off of women forever,
so he then decided to cull all poultry he ever came across again. This left him
As the perfect candidate for KFC. Unfortunately he could never fully qualify because
He was too chicken to cull chicken. His low self esteem issues led him to become a
manager of a local supermarket, where he found solace in a single can of baked beans.
Recardo, the large Hispanic man, and employee of the month took these can of beans and proceeded in
an orderly manner, to **** it dry. As you can see, there was plenty of trauma to make Breen
cry in disgust, infact, he was so repulsed by the unsanitary action, within the next month
Dr. Breen began having a strange fetish for bleach, windex and other household cleaning products.
Dr. Breen's girlfriend found this fetish to be very amazing if there wasn't the fact that
Dr. Breen was turned off by women forever. Breen envied other men's libido,
which was no small influence behind the reproductive supression field he employed years later in City 17.
But back to to past...
Some time after his traumatic experience, he started sporting an afro and joined G Unit.
During this time, he also developed an interest in secretive management,
and soon he betrayed them and joined Linkin Park and took over G-Unit,
putting them all in blue overalls and keeping them from having sex, until he caught the singer making love to a goat.
It was final, he decided he would be a prude for the rest of his life,
he also decided to study science at an institution,
there he fell in love with a 30 yr old Professor named Dr. Kleiner. Dr. Kleiner found Breen to be
the Cloverfield monster which he had no idea what it was.. so he went to the interwebs to find out, but
he only discovered that the internet is a crock of shit. He decided, instead, to turn to science fiction novels.
He read about teleportation, so he asked Dr. Kleiner about it, in which Kleiner responded
..."See if you can teleport me another beer from the fridge, ya lazy good for nothing grumble mumble...."...
Breen then cried at the insult, so to shut him up, Kleiner in his intoxicated state from robotripping and alcohol said
"okay, fine, I'll make you the Adminstrator at my special lab thingy I am workin on, if you shut the hell up and poor me another glass of nightquil"
And, that night, they had glorious secks and they found out that Dr. Breen was pregnant with a girl!!!
So Kleiner said "I know this student of mine, he does awesome things with his crowbar, including abortions",
in which Breen responded
(Edit: Holy crap, zombie, is that quote from 1984?)
(edit2: This story MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL.)
(indeed it is)
H
HL_Obsessive
Guest
Best story ever! Keep it going!
"**** this ****, I can't stand this ****ing world anymore." He was developing Tourette syndrome. This led him to...
"**** this ****, I can't stand this ****ing world anymore." He was developing Tourette syndrome. This led him to...
99.vikram
Tank
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...become the first scientist in New Mexico to be both Emo, and diagnosed with Tourette syndrome. When he was not busy working with Kleiner at Black Mesa, he would cut himself all over with razorblades and proclaim his hatred for life.
Nine months later he gave birth to Breen Jr. He decided to put the baby up for adoption because of his emotional instability. By now he was ready to see women again, and the baby was cramping his style. Then, to Kleiner's surprise...
Acepilotf14
Sucked so much dick for this title
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A HUGE KFC bucket of mashed potatoes (which I am eating) FELL FROM THE SKY AND killed g-man... BUT..
V-Man339
Space Core
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V-Man's continuation of the story
To go to the future, to the exact point in which this story started, where we talked about how the Combine abolished Christmas. Gordon then spotted Alyx walking up to him and he said.....
Wait he can't talk...
When she said...
To go to the future, to the exact point in which this story started, where we talked about how the Combine abolished Christmas. Gordon then spotted Alyx walking up to him and he said.....
Wait he can't talk...
When she said...
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