Maddox is awesome (and I''m taking over the world)

[15357]

Somehow, I missed this one whilst looking at his page a long time ago.

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=regressive

No protests. Under my government, there will be no assembly, peaceful or otherwise:


Why does everyone always sing the praises of civil disobedience? What good did it do for Gandhi? He's dead. What the hell is civil disobedience anyway? You can add the word "civil" to any crime (and yes, protesting is a crime, or will be if I'm elected in office), and suddenly it has a positive connotation? What next, civil first degree felony with aggravated assault? What's worse is that these black-foots stink up the streets with their VW bugs and harass the officers just trying to crack some skull. Which leads me to my next point:


No more police. Police officers will be replaced with a strike force with the ability to tap into your phone conversations, spy on your Internet connection, arrest you for no reason or any reason at all, and interrogate you behind closed doors during secret hearings. It'll be awesome, and if anyone complains, they will be labeled unpatriotic. The beauty of it is that people won't protest because protesters will be victims of police brutality. The reason I say victims is because the punishment for the crime of brutalizing police would be murder. It's the criminals who need to be brutalized, not the police.

HELL YEAH!


NUMBERS APPROVED TO THE FULLEST!

Addendum:

NO MORE!

Or you get arrested for what... uh.... antisocial deliquency and capital sociocidal malcompliance, incitement of civil disorder, violation of the Social Security Law, and I'm sure that I can make up quite a few more charges, enough to have you rot in a forced labor facility for 20+ years.

Yeah, which brings to me my next point: I'm going to take over the world. Stop me.

Or.... who wants to be governor of Austrailia?


I'm going to make this world a safer place. More stable world society, a greater prosperity of humanity. (After burning down cities for dominance, of course.)


F*CK YEAH! WHOS WITH ME?


*cricket chirp*

(I think I'm high on something right now)

 

[Danimal]

You know it was a joke, right?

 

[15357]

...........

 

[Danimal]

You'd think the vampire hunting would give it away.

 

[15357]

I thought that was the only joke....

 

[repiV]

You're strange. Very strange.

 

[15357]

Yeah.... want to be governor of Airstrip One?

 

[repiV]

Sure, why not?

 

[15357]

Great... I must set my plans forward in action... I have to search for inspiration.....





*goes looking for My Struggle by Hitler*

 

[ríomhaire]

Hey, I have a few Titan-class mechs to donate to your cause. Can I take Egypt and Bosnia and Herzegovina?

 

[15357]

Her- what? Take them.

 

[repiV]

Meh, I don't want them.

I'll take Saudi Arabia, Syria and Iran - noone fights more viciously than a religious extremist.
Then I'll have Japan for my R&D network - designing lighter weapons which kill more infidels since 2007.
Finally, I'll take Palestine and Cuba so all the hippie commie/terrorist sympathising morons from San Francisco and Burnley join my cause. I bet Solaris is a fearsome warrior when communism and Islam is at stake.

Then I'll have an unstoppable army kind of like the Tau in Warhammer 40k - millions of idiotic mindless drones supported by crushingly superior technology which looks a bit like manga.

 

[15357]

Japanese weapons are expensive. I mean, $2500 for a copy of the m16a1?


Seriously, look at our hybrid of the ak74 and the m16. Cheap. Reliable. Way accurate than the AK series. And completly usable with m16 magazines.

 

[repiV]

The Japanese can do all sorts of neat shit, though. They could make 2mmx2mm suicide bombs which can be implanted into the chest - perfect for the Saudi Arabian batallion of my army!
Or they could make a Hello Kitty rifle...high velocity cute fluffy toys...perfect for forcing France to surrender.

 

[Smoke]

:|

 

[15357]

:|

INFIDEL! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST! COMPLY!





You are herby charged and deemed guilty of.... er.... incitement of antisocial unhappiness, and crimes against the state.

 

[Jintor]

Australia's mine, Editor.

I also get Hawaii, Malaysia, Singapore, and... hmmm... Italy.

...I can offer you a dozen ninja corps and my propaganda skillz.

 

[15357]

Done. Lolz.



In the future, when there are robots serving humanity, we should reprogram them to take over for us. Just a quick idea.

 

[repiV]

Australia's mine, Editor.

I also get Hawaii, Malaysia, Singapore, and... hmmm... Italy.

...I can offer you a dozen ninja corps and my propaganda skillz.

If you give me a dozen of your hottest babes from Hawaii, I will allow you a special edition gold-plated Hello Kitty rifle.

 

[Jintor]

I can spare a dozen. But do you also have some sort of Ninja-Mech?

 

[ríomhaire]

I will trade ion cannon control for the rest of Eastern Europe. I am also willing to share my combat-resonance technology for citadel construction materials.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

I will give half my bananas for the Pacific Ocean.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

I always loved that picture cause it works for both those who are against civil disobidence and those who are for it

Also can I have the west coast of Spain?

 

[ríomhaire]

The Pope's forces have repelled and scattered your army.

 

[Muffin Man]

Can I have Denmark?

 

[Steven]

I have finally come to the realization; that numbers, is a troll.

 

[AJ Rimmer]

Am I seeing things or did I get a piece of Ireland as well?

 

[Qonfused]

I have finally come to the realization; that numbers, is a troll.

no u

 

[CyberPitz]

I want something.....I'll be the governments personal whore.

 

[NeptuneUK]

I want something.....I'll be the governments personal whore.

Or 'bitch' as it were

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Or f*ckdummy.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Didn't the dinosaur alert you to the fact that he was taking the piss?

He's right about vampires though.

EDIT: Actually, I know a guy kind of like that, except he actually treats the whole thing with enough self-effacing irony to reduce its vomit-inducing effect, and is also like the nicest person I have ever met. To everybody.

Who'd have thought?

 

[CyberPitz]

Or 'bitch' as it were

Tomato Tomahto.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

You say tomato, I say **** you. The denizens of the ocean pity you land dwellers.

 

[Lucid]

I'd like to buy the entire alpha quadrant of outer space.

I'll trade you my bag of marbles and a paper clip!

 

[mindless_moder]

so what happens to canada ?

 

[<RJMC>]

numbers is like solaris

they suport they causes but for the glamour of going whit ak's fighting everyone,the rest? nah lets kill and sing song suporting my regimen

 

[repiV]

numbers is like solaris

they suport they causes but for the glamour of going whit ak's fighting everyone,the rest? nah lets kill and sing song suporting my regimen

Yeah, but at least numbers is funny. He doesn't get on my nerves like Solaris does. Plus, he's not nearly so hypocritical. I actually enjoy talking to numbers, in spite of him being a raving looney.

 

[repiV]

I can spare a dozen. But do you also have some sort of Ninja-Mech?

I do. Would you prefer the Christian-seeking laser or the Muslim-seeking missile with that?
I will, of course, require 72 of your finest Malaysian virgins for this gift.

 

[Stigmata]

What game is that? I want to play.

I have chocolate for trade :3