Zephos
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- Dec 28, 2005
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Just thought I'd make a thread on this, express my thoughts, will probably extend to tl;dr... but I'm hoping someone can relate or breathe some light onto my current situation.
It all began late last year in November during Schoolies, which was essentially a week long graduation party after the end of High School. On one of the nights, I happened to have drank a few shots of spirits, waited a few hours then decided to smoke the green stuff. I had only done it a few times prior, but this trip was completely different. My head became like a camera taking photos of everything going on around me and soon I just laid down and sat there in fear, because my mind was conjuring so many images at such a rapid pace and my body was feeling cold and out of touch. It was seriously psychologically scary. Before I went to sleep that night I felt my memory slipping away every 2 seconds, it was like blanks emerging in my brain where everything used to be. But I still dreamt soundly that night, but upon waking up in the morning I felt completely out of time and place and wasn't really able to comprehend anything.
But eventually it cleared up and I came home, tired and a little shaken. Life went on, hung out with friends, played a few games, went on holiday for a week. However, when I came back from holiday I was home alone for the next few weeks. It was a pretty lonely experience but I still hung out with people and I certainly was not a recluse of any sort. Yet my memory I had noticed was now starting to become hazy. I wasn't able to acknowledge what I had done the week before or what day it currently was. I would try and write things down but forget what I was writing in the first place and things fell apart. It was starting to get really bad, and I must admit I was suffering from some severe depression (nightmares every night, very shifty moods) which led to a few fruitless doctor visits.
Nowadays I'm still suffering from it and I think it's getting worse. I cannot register what I do even on the same day in which I did it. I'll wake up from a good night's sleep and my mind feels as dead as it would if I had two hours. I did not have the best memory to begin with but it's much noticably worse than what it once was: everything's a blur. I'm not sure what caused it, whether it was that incident with the marijuana, being alone for awhile or caused by severe depression.
Anyway, this is a pretty big, pointless rant and it probably doesn't help that I'm devastatingly tired, but I'm feeling pretty dejected at the moment. I just thought someone on these forums might be able to relate or give advice. Otherwise I expect just a lot of tl;dr's.
(and yes, I am going to see a doctor/psychiatrist soon, just a matter of when)
It all began late last year in November during Schoolies, which was essentially a week long graduation party after the end of High School. On one of the nights, I happened to have drank a few shots of spirits, waited a few hours then decided to smoke the green stuff. I had only done it a few times prior, but this trip was completely different. My head became like a camera taking photos of everything going on around me and soon I just laid down and sat there in fear, because my mind was conjuring so many images at such a rapid pace and my body was feeling cold and out of touch. It was seriously psychologically scary. Before I went to sleep that night I felt my memory slipping away every 2 seconds, it was like blanks emerging in my brain where everything used to be. But I still dreamt soundly that night, but upon waking up in the morning I felt completely out of time and place and wasn't really able to comprehend anything.
But eventually it cleared up and I came home, tired and a little shaken. Life went on, hung out with friends, played a few games, went on holiday for a week. However, when I came back from holiday I was home alone for the next few weeks. It was a pretty lonely experience but I still hung out with people and I certainly was not a recluse of any sort. Yet my memory I had noticed was now starting to become hazy. I wasn't able to acknowledge what I had done the week before or what day it currently was. I would try and write things down but forget what I was writing in the first place and things fell apart. It was starting to get really bad, and I must admit I was suffering from some severe depression (nightmares every night, very shifty moods) which led to a few fruitless doctor visits.
Nowadays I'm still suffering from it and I think it's getting worse. I cannot register what I do even on the same day in which I did it. I'll wake up from a good night's sleep and my mind feels as dead as it would if I had two hours. I did not have the best memory to begin with but it's much noticably worse than what it once was: everything's a blur. I'm not sure what caused it, whether it was that incident with the marijuana, being alone for awhile or caused by severe depression.
Anyway, this is a pretty big, pointless rant and it probably doesn't help that I'm devastatingly tired, but I'm feeling pretty dejected at the moment. I just thought someone on these forums might be able to relate or give advice. Otherwise I expect just a lot of tl;dr's.
(and yes, I am going to see a doctor/psychiatrist soon, just a matter of when)
