Music Jokes

[Dog--]

A man goes to a pacific island for vacation. As the boat nears, he notices the constant sound of drumming. As he gets off the boat, he asks a native how long the drumming will go on. The native casts about nervously and says "very bad when drumming stops."
Later that day, the drumming is still going and it is really starting to get to him. So, he asks another native when the drumming will stop. The native looks as if he's just been spooked. "Very bad when drumming stops," he says, and hurries off.

After a couple of days with little sleep, the man had had enough. He grabbed the first native he saw, slammed him up against a tree, and shouted, "What happens when the drumming stops?!"

The native replied, "Bass solo."

What did the bassist say to the guitarist?


Who cares, you cant hear him.

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors."

So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished; the G is out flat.

An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second."

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor.

Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims, "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says, "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest -- and closes the bar.

^My favorite^

Why couldn't Beethoven find his teacher?

Because he was Haydn.

You know you're R. Kelly when you can't play guitar, but you've managed to break a G string while fingering A minor.

You know you're a guitar player when your girlfriend says she got a new g-string and you ask " Is it nickel-wound or bronze phosphorous?"

I got into a fight with Handel once, he baroque my nose.

 

[xombine]

Suck my love pump.

 

[lefty]

What's the difference between a snake run over on the road and a trombone player run over on the road?

The snake might have been on it's way to a gig.

 

[Qonfused]

^ Haha

 

[Captain M4d]

How do you tune two piccolos?

You shoot one.

 

[CrazyHarij]

loved the notes walk into a bar one, ****in lol

 

[Kula Meenur]

What's the difference between a saxaphone and a lawn mower?

You can tune a lawn mower.




^old as the hills

 

[Dr.Freeman]

What's the difference between a snake run over on the road and a trombone player run over on the road?

The snake might have been on it's way to a gig.

Hahahahahahahah man this is great.

 

[Bad^Hat]

How do you know if there's a drummer at your door?

The knock will gradually speed up.

 

[Vegeta897]

I heard that same joke except the punchline was gradually slow down.

I do not ****ing get it.

 

[Ennui]

the whole movie Spinal Tap

 

[Kula Meenur]

I heard that same joke except the punchline was gradually slow down.

I do not ****ing get it.

They can't keep a beat

 

[Vegeta897]

I should have known it was something stupid like that.

 

[McGooTheWise]

Why do bands have bass players?
To translate for the drummer.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

1. "Why? Oh, wow! Is it like dark, man?"
2. Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.
3. Two: one to hold the bulb, and one to turn his throne (but only after they figure out that you have to turn the bulb).
4. Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
5. None. They have a machine to do that.



This one's good.

A drummer, sick of all the drummer jokes, decides to change his instrument. After some thought, he decides on the accordion. So he goes to the music store and says to the owner, "I'd like to look at the accordions, please."

The owner gestures to a shelf in the corner and says "All our accordions are over there."

After browsing, the drummer says, "I think I'd like the big red one in the corner."

The store owner looks at him and says, "You're a drummer, aren't you?"

The drummer, crestfallen, says, "How did you know?"

The store owner says, "That `big red accordion' is the radiator."