Ravioli
Microboner
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2004
- Messages
- 5,097
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"lamba" hope you know who i am 
I have something to say, not only to the people here, but to Valve themself. This might sound odd, but....I...."love"....Valve. Yes, i do, yes i am dumb, yes i am sick. But yes, I DO LOVE VALVE.
I am starting to see how Valve has shaped my life, and i have noticed many things in the past few years, or rather said childhood. Wait? Did is say "rather said"...yes i did, there it is, again (true hl fans will notice what i mean)
I dont know where to start, but lets take a look back when i was 7 years old.
I remember coming home from school one day, and i was tierd and sad. My friends where bullying me. I only had 1 best friend, but he left me He joined the others. But that was about to change soon.
When i came home, my dad was sitting at the computer, he usually just check mail and news, or play some "combat flight simulation". I went to him and noticed something on the screen, something that would make me write this on day. I asked what he was doing.
"Nah, im just playing...whats the name again? Oh yea, Half-life, i got it from a friend at work."
I watched as he played, i dont remember much, but i remember being afraid, just afraid. When i saw him at the computer, i runned and hided under the table, and refused to move till he turned it off, i was so scared of those sounds. In a short time, i started to join him, playing half-life, and thats where it all started.
We use to switch turns, he plays one "loading" then my turn, and so on. I couldnt play so good because i wasnt use to "PC" but to "Macintosh" platform games only LOL. I used the arrows to walk around, and enter to shot, i never even tuched the mouse. My dad told me how to play properly, he put my hands over the key-board and teached me, he trained my aim. Soon, i could play better, and came furthur in the game. This was a relationship, between my dad and me. Usually, we didnt spend much time together, but now we did spend hours. I remember when i followed him to buy food, and we where discussing the story of half-life. We talked about Black Mesa and XEN and who the Soldiers where. (remember, i was 7 years old then).
Later on, my mind started to change, my life started to change. I got my best friend back by showing him Half-life, and soon, we where both real gamers! A gamer is not a person that play games...no, wrong. A gamer is a person, which has feelings and intrest in the world behind the screen, and the gods of the world. A gamer is a person which writes logos of the game, which creats costom designs for the game, a gamer is.....another personallity, which can only live in a world born in the screen.
Me and my friend wrote the Half-life logo on our hands and clothes. Some people thought we where stupid and thought we where nazis (the logo looks like an incomplete nazi mark lol) But we where still proud to wear the logos.
Later on, a few years later, more and more people i knew owned half-life, and usually Counter-strike. Now, some people just buy half-life to play CS, and they think of themself as Valve fans?
I remember a girl in my class, i dont remember how old i was, but it was about 5 grade i think (swedish grade) and we became friends, thanks to Valve. We played counter-strike alot, and it was very fun, but then she had to move from our city and i had not got the chance to discover the possibilitys of MSN messenger
Time went on, and expansions came. I remember playing Half-life when my father got home, and guess what he held in is hand? We shiny, green, box, WITH the Lambda symbold on it Now THAT made me drul. Those box arts and the shiny plastic just make me want to kiss it! And once again, me and my father spent more time together!
Soon after that, Gun-man and Blue shift came, which was really great games! I remember when i asked my mom to buy Blue-Shift, it cost 108 KR, exakly 108, i will never forget that number!
I started to discover the internet, and the "gaming community" whatever that was. I saw half-life allover the net, and see how fans spread like Gonarchs little babies, comming in swarms and waves.
As soon as i got more understanding for gaming, i downloaded every, single, possible Modificaton for half-life. There is not a singleone i could have missed (if i have, then im ashamed). Valve game me the basics on how a game is built. Without valve, i wouldnt have my knowledge, they gave me complete understanding for designs and computers.
My creativity started to develope when i was very young, it all started with changing the sounds for Counter-strike! And from there, it went on. I even made a closer relationship to a new friend, well, i knew him from day-care, but we got closer with half-life. We looked at the files and created our own little mod (which failed ofcorse) but we where so happy.
I also started to learn "mapping". My father showed me the program "world craft" (aka Hammer). I got so frustrated and angry, because i JUST COULDNT FIX THE TEXTURES!!! Lol, no really, i was so angre all day because i didnt understand the program. But soon enough, i was a pro.
I remember being called "a half-life nerd". As soon as i said something, for example "guess what i drew in Art class?" and someone would jump in and say "what, half-life? Freegay?" I was bullied by friends, but they didnt know what i was doing at home, in my computer. Soon, my famely started to call me stuff, when we where eating, and i told something, they would always comment me by adding un-serious half-life stuff that has nothing to do with the subject......they just laughed.
When i told my friends i could map and do designs, they just laughed, they called my "design gay", they didnt want to see the truth that i was talent at something. But one day, is showed them, i showed them HARD. Also my famely, and everyone got more understanding, and i gained some respect, all i had to do is to show them my stuff.
One day, i e-mailed Sierra, and asked if valve where working on a "half-life2" but i got no answer. But soon, the bomb was dropped. I remember when each time a new video was released, i would scream to my friend in the telephone to get his ass to my house, so we could watch it, and we watched it over and over and over again.
We discussed the source engine, and talked about the possibility for future games, we thought of creating a mod of our neighboor hood, but soon everything would break apart...
I remember the day clear, it was the last day of school, summer 2004. I was going to leave, leave my home and my countrey, for long. I was going to move to Italy, a countrey far far away, i had no idea what was waiting.
Ofcorse, the last thing we did, was to play Half-life games at a Lan Cafe, i remember the last picture of me and my friend, its in my mind, we where waving to each other, and i went of, never saw him again, and still havent. Ofcorse i have contact on MSN.
Now, here i am, in italy. Im going to an American school here, where there are no gamers at all.........it was terrible. I could not survive, NO ONE KNEW WHAT HALF-LIFE WAS! OMG! I WAS FREAKING OUT. I didnt make much friends because i didnt know where to start, i mean, usually when i meet new people, the first thing you say "have you played half-life?"
And here it is the same, no one knows what i can create. I want to show them, but as soon as i talk about a game, they connect the word "game" as "geek".
In a few months, i will visit my friends in sweden, it will be awsome, and we will play Aftermath together (i will stay there the whole summer)
I still walk around with half-life logos, even though it also stands for "gay pride" lol. (im not gay...just checking lol) I even have the half-life logo RIPPED on my binder, so everyone can see!
So, that what i wanted to tell. I couldnt write all the stuff, lots are missing. And im still forgeting stuff. This was just a very short summary of what Valve have made to me, have improved my life.
And for all of you that call Gabe Newell an asshole......dont. Gabe Newell is wonder full, i mean, how many guys leading a company like this, takes his time to spend with his fans?
I dont know if Gabe will ever see this.....but i hope he does, i hope EVERYONE at Valve see this, as a sign for what they do.
Valve....you brought me and my father closer, and my life better...i dont know how to thank you. Right now, im going off for Half-life Radio. Cya!
"btw, im lambda if remember me <g> I wrote this post here because im thankfull for what you did! Im so.....happy........
I have something to say, not only to the people here, but to Valve themself. This might sound odd, but....I...."love"....Valve. Yes, i do, yes i am dumb, yes i am sick. But yes, I DO LOVE VALVE.
I am starting to see how Valve has shaped my life, and i have noticed many things in the past few years, or rather said childhood. Wait? Did is say "rather said"...yes i did, there it is, again (true hl fans will notice what i mean)
I dont know where to start, but lets take a look back when i was 7 years old.
I remember coming home from school one day, and i was tierd and sad. My friends where bullying me. I only had 1 best friend, but he left me
He joined the others. But that was about to change soon.When i came home, my dad was sitting at the computer, he usually just check mail and news, or play some "combat flight simulation". I went to him and noticed something on the screen, something that would make me write this on day. I asked what he was doing.
"Nah, im just playing...whats the name again? Oh yea, Half-life, i got it from a friend at work."
I watched as he played, i dont remember much, but i remember being afraid, just afraid. When i saw him at the computer, i runned and hided under the table, and refused to move till he turned it off, i was so scared of those sounds. In a short time, i started to join him, playing half-life, and thats where it all started.
We use to switch turns, he plays one "loading" then my turn, and so on. I couldnt play so good because i wasnt use to "PC" but to "Macintosh" platform games only LOL. I used the arrows to walk around, and enter to shot, i never even tuched the mouse. My dad told me how to play properly, he put my hands over the key-board and teached me, he trained my aim. Soon, i could play better, and came furthur in the game. This was a relationship, between my dad and me. Usually, we didnt spend much time together, but now we did spend hours. I remember when i followed him to buy food, and we where discussing the story of half-life. We talked about Black Mesa and XEN and who the Soldiers where. (remember, i was 7 years old then).
Later on, my mind started to change, my life started to change. I got my best friend back by showing him Half-life, and soon, we where both real gamers! A gamer is not a person that play games...no, wrong. A gamer is a person, which has feelings and intrest in the world behind the screen, and the gods of the world. A gamer is a person which writes logos of the game, which creats costom designs for the game, a gamer is.....another personallity, which can only live in a world born in the screen.
Me and my friend wrote the Half-life logo on our hands and clothes. Some people thought we where stupid and thought we where nazis (the logo looks like an incomplete nazi mark lol) But we where still proud to wear the logos.
Later on, a few years later, more and more people i knew owned half-life, and usually Counter-strike. Now, some people just buy half-life to play CS, and they think of themself as Valve fans?
I remember a girl in my class, i dont remember how old i was, but it was about 5 grade i think (swedish grade) and we became friends, thanks to Valve. We played counter-strike alot, and it was very fun, but then she had to move from our city
and i had not got the chance to discover the possibilitys of MSN messenger Time went on, and expansions came. I remember playing Half-life when my father got home, and guess what he held in is hand? We shiny, green, box, WITH the Lambda symbold on it
Now THAT made me drul. Those box arts and the shiny plastic just make me want to kiss it! And once again, me and my father spent more time together! Soon after that, Gun-man and Blue shift came, which was really great games! I remember when i asked my mom to buy Blue-Shift, it cost 108 KR, exakly 108, i will never forget that number!
I started to discover the internet, and the "gaming community" whatever that was. I saw half-life allover the net, and see how fans spread like Gonarchs little babies, comming in swarms and waves.
As soon as i got more understanding for gaming, i downloaded every, single, possible Modificaton for half-life. There is not a singleone i could have missed (if i have, then im ashamed). Valve game me the basics on how a game is built. Without valve, i wouldnt have my knowledge, they gave me complete understanding for designs and computers.
My creativity started to develope when i was very young, it all started with changing the sounds for Counter-strike! And from there, it went on. I even made a closer relationship to a new friend, well, i knew him from day-care, but we got closer with half-life. We looked at the files and created our own little mod (which failed ofcorse) but we where so happy.
I also started to learn "mapping". My father showed me the program "world craft" (aka Hammer). I got so frustrated and angry, because i JUST COULDNT FIX THE TEXTURES!!! Lol, no really, i was so angre all day because i didnt understand the program. But soon enough, i was a pro.
I remember being called "a half-life nerd". As soon as i said something, for example "guess what i drew in Art class?" and someone would jump in and say "what, half-life? Freegay?" I was bullied by friends, but they didnt know what i was doing at home, in my computer. Soon, my famely started to call me stuff, when we where eating, and i told something, they would always comment me by adding un-serious half-life stuff that has nothing to do with the subject......they just laughed.
When i told my friends i could map and do designs, they just laughed, they called my "design gay", they didnt want to see the truth that i was talent at something. But one day, is showed them, i showed them HARD. Also my famely, and everyone got more understanding, and i gained some respect, all i had to do is to show them my stuff.
One day, i e-mailed Sierra, and asked if valve where working on a "half-life2" but i got no answer. But soon, the bomb was dropped. I remember when each time a new video was released, i would scream to my friend in the telephone to get his ass to my house, so we could watch it, and we watched it over and over and over again.
We discussed the source engine, and talked about the possibility for future games, we thought of creating a mod of our neighboor hood, but soon everything would break apart...
I remember the day clear, it was the last day of school, summer 2004. I was going to leave, leave my home and my countrey, for long. I was going to move to Italy, a countrey far far away, i had no idea what was waiting.
Ofcorse, the last thing we did, was to play Half-life games at a Lan Cafe, i remember the last picture of me and my friend, its in my mind, we where waving to each other, and i went of, never saw him again, and still havent. Ofcorse i have contact on MSN.
Now, here i am, in italy. Im going to an American school here, where there are no gamers at all.........it was terrible. I could not survive, NO ONE KNEW WHAT HALF-LIFE WAS! OMG! I WAS FREAKING OUT. I didnt make much friends because i didnt know where to start, i mean, usually when i meet new people, the first thing you say "have you played half-life?"
And here it is the same, no one knows what i can create. I want to show them, but as soon as i talk about a game, they connect the word "game" as "geek".
In a few months, i will visit my friends in sweden, it will be awsome, and we will play Aftermath together (i will stay there the whole summer)
I still walk around with half-life logos, even though it also stands for "gay pride" lol. (im not gay...just checking lol) I even have the half-life logo RIPPED on my binder, so everyone can see!
So, that what i wanted to tell. I couldnt write all the stuff, lots are missing. And im still forgeting stuff. This was just a very short summary of what Valve have made to me, have improved my life.
And for all of you that call Gabe Newell an asshole......dont. Gabe Newell is wonder full, i mean, how many guys leading a company like this, takes his time to spend with his fans?
I dont know if Gabe will ever see this.....but i hope he does, i hope EVERYONE at Valve see this, as a sign for what they do.
Valve....you brought me and my father closer, and my life better...i dont know how to thank you. Right now, im going off for Half-life Radio. Cya!
"btw, im lambda if remember me <g> I wrote this post here because im thankfull for what you did! Im so.....happy........
