Nothing if not critical

[Fleabaine]

1. Small things first.

Thiering shuffled through the many papers strewn all over his desk. “Have you seen it?” he asked. “Seen what, what are you talking about?” asked Spadger, confused.

Thiering muttered something to himself as he continued his search. “Eureka!” he squealed.

“Ah no that’s not it,” he said as he dropped the remote back onto the desk.

Frowning, Thiering scanned the room thoroughly. “Tell me what it is!” pleaded Spadger as he watched Thiering lifting up books and tipping over tables.

Thiering sighed and walked over to his desk. Slumping himself down onto his seat he lifted up his bottle of whisky and poured himself a cup. Lifting the cup up to his mouth he reeled backward in his seat and slammed the glass down onto the desk.

“Aha” he yelled. “I’ve found it!”

There in front of him lay a scrunched up slither of paper with the numbers 36486 scribbled quickly onto it.

“I’m still not following,” said Spadger annoyed.

“Ha ha ha ha har of course you’re not my friend. This is the code to my safe that up until yesterday I had forget existed, that is until I found this paper scrunched up at the back of my desk. Ha ha har ha this is going to be good” he choked.

Any critisism (or approvals) would be great so yeh..

 

[Max35]

Well, it starts off good, but it was kinda short and I really don't see what this has to do with hl. Maybe a little more detail and background would have helped set the atmosphere a bit better, its good, though.

 

[Jenga]

i agree. The setting could be anywhere at any time, even in the 1900s. They had safes then, too.

 

[Fleabaine]

True, true. I'll spend a bit more time on how this relates to HL2 next chapter. but it will it will.

 

[Fleabaine]

Chapter 2. Whats in the safe?

This chapter took me a bit more time to create, any critisisms are welcome!!

Thiering couldn’t stop grinning. Taking a quick swig of his whisky he stroked his chin as he thought.

“Alright, I really don’t care what you’ve got stored in the cabinet if you’re not going to tell me!” said Spadger.

Come in, Spadger come in!

“Ahh it’s Hughes, go see what he wants,” said Thiering as he took another swig of whisky.

“Aye aye sir!” Spadger remarked. Walking over to the radio Spadger tuned in Hughes picture. “Hughes, what is it what’s going on at your end?” asked Spadger.

Spadger head for the hills! It’s the combine they’re on their way here as we speak. They’ve come to track down any living survivors of the invasion in this area and put an end to them immediately. We’ll rendezvous at Colonel Cubage’s foxhole, if you can make it that far unarmed. Good luck.

“Colonel Cubage’s foxhole? But that’s miles from here we’ll never make it. We need backup!” cried Spadger desperately.

The screen became blurred and snowy and Hughes signed off. “Hughes? Hughes? This can’t be happening, we’re done!” blurted Spadger.

“Thiering we have to get to Cubage’s. It’s the combine, they’re coming, Hughes will meet us there” encouraged Spadger trying to get Thiering motivated as he lay sipping his whisky.

“Hughes is near to two blocks away,” commented Thiering.

“Precisely, then we can be expecting the combine anytime soon” Spadger said despairingly.

“We’ve got one chance to flee, but without getting the item from the safe it can’t be done” said Thiering getting to his feet and grabbing his coat.

“I don’t know why Hughes can’t make it to our position and your right we can’t get to cubage’s unarmed. That’s why whatever is tucked away in your safe is more than what we have now. To the safe” yelled Spadger.

Thiering walked across the living room and unbolted the iron door. Sliding it open with all his might he peered out into the deserted street. Signalling to Spadger to follow, Thiering snuck out into the centre of the crossroads.

“Don’t worry, Spadger I’ve been tracking down my safe and it’s up ahead in the old chapel atop the hill,” panted Thiering as he ran.

“What’s wrong with you, hiding a safe in the chapel” replied Spadger.
“It’s a long story but” gagged Thiering “I hid it there so the combine wouldn’t find it, then I forgot about it” gasped Thiering as he flung himself onto the grass, exhausted.

“Get up you idiot the chapel’s just up ahead” Spadger said as he pulled Thiering to his feet.

Tripping and stumbling over gravestones, Thiering hauled himself up to the chapel door. “Phew, ah no! Look the combine are on us!” yelled Thiering as he looked back into the township.

There, wave after wave of combine soldiers were systematically burning and pillaging the township, wiping it of the map. A small group of assailants who had seen the pair flee to the chapel were marching up the hillside to their position.

“Great, get inside and we’ll barricade the door,” said Spadger.

“Let them come, Mr Spadger, let them come” laughed Thiering in his hysteria.

“Whatever is in your safe had better have some firepower or else we’re done!” commented Spadger grimly as the small combine battalion approached the chapel.

 

[eatbugs]

gripping.