Obama Inauguration Speech Generator

[Rizzo]

7 months. That's cool.

 

[CptStern]

My fellow Americans, today is a ass-cracky day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "tree", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually regurgitate.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces lovely and massive challenges like never before. Our economy is ridicuous. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for rectal examinations. Our healthcare system is versatile. If your earlobe is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a taxidermist. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a bloated magic nose goblin. But trucking together we can right this ship, and set a course for butt**** idaho.

Finally, I must thank my portly family, my greasy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank sodomites for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of pillfering the American people. Without your loose efforts, none of this would have been possible.

 

[Evidence]

7 months. That's cool.

Achievement unlocked: Dig up old thread

 

[Rizzo]

You should be ashamed.

 

[Evidence]

You should be ashamed.

 

[lefty]

My fellow Americans, today is a nads day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "balls", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually nards.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces testicles and nuts challenges like never before. Our economy is huevos. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for family jewels. Our healthcare system is gonads. If your quickly is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a jubblies. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a beanbags scrotum. But balling together we can right this ship, and set a course for left nut.

Finally, I must thank my pecker family, my weiner campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank My Balls for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of ding dong the American people. Without your penis efforts, none of this would have been possible.

 

[Adrik_Senturu]

heh

My fellow Americans, today is a PENIS day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "PENIS", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually PENIS.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces PENIS and PENIS challenges like never before. Our economy is PENIS. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for PENIS. Our healthcare system is PENIS. If your PENIS is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a PENIS. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a PENIS PENIS. But PENIS together we can right this ship, and set a course for PENIS.

Finally, I must thank my PENIS family, my PENIS campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank PENIS for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of PENIS the American people. Without your PENIS efforts, none of this would have been possible.

 

[DEATHMASTER]

There is now evidence that Evidence is a bum

 

[Evidence]

There is now evidence that Evidence is a bum

Now there is evidence that I am evidence of your evidence, which says that your evidence is bum.

 

[PJ]

My fellow Americans, today is a awesome day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "hitler", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually smell.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces sweet and shitty challenges like never before. Our economy is hopeful. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for nazis. Our healthcare system is soft. If your erect penii is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a whore. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a dildo condom. But cuming together we can right this ship, and set a course for vagina.

Finally, I must thank my beautiful family, my drenched campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank japanese for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of f*cking the American people. Without your hard efforts, none of this would have been possible.

 

[13LACKBISHOP]

I am just so disappointed that this thread, barely worth reading past the first few posts to begin with, was bumped for a post dripping with /b/-brand humor, possibly the most witless and unremarkable kind of humor I've come across in my day. Let me tell you! If you find that your personality depends on regurgitating memes that hundreds recite in the same fashion, it is perhaps time to reconsider your life choices.

It is perhaps the time for you to consider nobody cares.

 

[Sledgehammer]

My fellow Americans, today is a complicated day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "democracy", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually correspond to.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces distasteful and unfair challenges like never before. Our economy is zombiefied. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for video games. Our healthcare system is worthless. If your sister is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a pimp. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a gay cowboy. But leaving together we can right this ship, and set a course for safer shores.

Finally, I must thank my indecisive family, my underpaid campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Genghis Khan for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of lying the American people. Without your unnecessary efforts, none of this would have been possible.

I tried to do it as good as possible. Well, Toasterthingy is right that this thread is largely a bore.

 

[Sulkdodds]

To be quite honest, when I entered this thread, I already possessed the sure intention of declaring it the most boring thread on the entire forum, and, that pronouncement made, closing it shut.

I shall now do exactly that.

1) This is the most boring thread on the entire forum, no jokes.
2) -