Old age ( yes stern, share your wisdom with us please)

[mchammer75040]

So ever since I got home from talkin with a close friend Ive had this sense of dread hanging over me that I cant shake off. My friend is in her 60s, and before anyone says it no she isnt a typical ol' hag...we actually get hella drunk together and she was skydiving in her early 60s, this should give you an idea of the kind of person she is.

Anyways she called me earlier tonight, sounding very distressed and wanting me to come over. I went over and she basically cried to me for over an hour, talkin about how lonely she was..living in a big house all by herself since her husband passed away a year ago. How she felt like life was just falling apart, nothing seems to matter anymore she told me. Just kinda staring off into the distance, sorting through old photos of her family. And then came the unavoidable topic, suicide.
Now before anyone makes a rash judgement about suicide well you can kindly shut the **** up, cause none of us are either lookin at a slow inevitable decline into crippling old age or a quick death. I mean seriously what would you pick?
Its hard being around someone or hearing someone you care about talk about suicide and knowing that it isnt some far off concept that people talk about doing when they get old. Shes staring at it everyday and wondering why not.

I dont know where this thread is going, but I guess I want your introspections about what you want to be looking back on after 50 years. Or maybe thoughts on losing loved ones, especially from you older guys here. Are you at a place where you wanna be in life?

 

[Krynn72]

I dont really know what I would do in that situation. I certainly wouldnt go the suicide route though. Theres more than a life-times worth of things to experience in the world, and I wouldnt want to give up the chance to do some of them. If she's lonely, then maybe she could take up a job as a substitute teacher at one of the local schools. Thats a meaningful job, so long as she takes it seriously, and provides plenty of human interaction with younger kids as well as the other teachers and staff.

Does she have any other family? If so, it might be a good idea to suggest having her move in with other family members. Being alone in a big house can be very very bad for your mental state, and it seems to be taking affect already. I mean, its essentially solitary confinement, which is used to punish criminals. The biggest reason to live is other people. She needs to get back in touch with society and have more meaningful relationships with other people.

 

[Pesmerga]

I intend to play WoW 24/7 when I'm 60.

 

[mchammer75040]

Yea I've told her the same, she doesn't live close to family though and refuses to let someone else take care of her. I don't know if I'd choose suicide either, but from her perspective you gotta wonder what is there to look forward to in old age. I guess she knows a whole lot more about any of that then either of us, and I damn sure am never gonna live in a retirement home. Would you want someone to have to wipe your ass? Or feed you? No thanks.

 

[Dog--]

Pes, you're retarded. Why would you even say something like that...






By then they'd have like WoW 3... Such a noob.





Seriously, though, She probably SHOULD get a job, one where she interacts with other people.

 

[mchammer75040]

Not to be an ass, but to keep this from turning into a helplife2.net thread...let me remind you of my original intentions:

I want your introspections about what you want to be looking back on after 50 years. Or maybe thoughts on losing loved ones, especially from you older guys here. Are you at a place where you wanna be in life?

 

[Pesmerga]

Pes, you're retarded. Why would you even say something like that...






By then they'd have like WoW 3... Such a noob.

You're right, what was I thinking. I'd still hit up Doom 2 everynow and then, though. Hopefully it'll work on the current OS :3

 

[ktimekiller]

give her something to do? hang out with her more often or something i suppose

 

[Dog--]

Oh yea, the life thing - As soon as I get a job, and manage to conjure up around $5000 to get a bunch of mixing tables, keyboards, recording equipment, new guitar, a bass, pedals/talkbox, and a computer, I'd die happy.

 

[Stigmata]

On the subject of loved ones: Losing a loved one will wreck me. It'll seriously obliterate me. I don't know how I'll be or how I'll handle myself, although I foresee depression and videogames.

I'm in a place in my life where I'm almost where I want to be. Give it two months or so.

 

[xcellerate]

I hope when I'm old...me and my wife both die instentaneously in some car crash; that way neither of us has to be alone.

 

[mchammer75040]

EDIT: Oh yea, the life thing - As soon as I get a job, and manage to conjure up around $5000 to get a bunch of mixing tables, keyboards, recording equipment, new guitar, a bass, pedals/talkbox, and a computer, I'd die happy.

heh how long you been playin music? Thats something I'd like to get into myself sometime, although Im mostly workin towards illustration. Are you pretty skilled?

Stiggy/Sea:
Yea I forsee the same, isn't it weird that when you're younger these problems seem more..I don't know, abstract? I guess thats why this dread is hanging over me cause no one wants to live like that, and I cant blame anyone for wanting to escape that suffering. Shes actually a very passionate person, like I said she skydived in her 60s so she is way more passionate about life than most, but after losing so many people close to her she just lost it. Maybe thats what wears people out in old age, having to let go of everything you depended on.

xcellerate:
So idealistic! Dont count on it unless you actually are doing that intentionally!

 

[Pesmerga]

Pain lets you know you're alive.

 

[Raziaar]

I hope to live to see old age. I constantly fear I will die young in a horribly unnatural way.

 

[cheddarrr]

im going to be the old man sitting on his porch drinking all the time yellin at kids to get off my property

 

[Saturos]

@ mchammer

Yeah, old age despair sucks. My grandfather went thought a triple bypass heart surgery in 2004 and before that, he was quite active and an outdoorsman.

The sugeons telling him that he has to "slow down" for the sake of his heart from now on has changed his personality. I can see the point where the elderly would believe that there's nothing to live for if the passion that kept them alive is gone or has been taken away. He's mellowed out since then, and has not been quite as depressed, but all he does anymore is lay around and sleep, or watch TV.

It might just be a phase she's going through though. Surely she has some friends other than you to keep her company right? If she gets back out there and starts doing the things she likes, then surely the whole thing is nothing but a phase that'll pass eventually.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

I'll be the old guy with the long beard sitting in a rocking chair on his front porch in a log cabin in the middle of the Antlantic Ocean with a spitoon beside me and a 12 gauge shotgun in hand rocking ominously back in forth in this creak and rickity fricking elm wood rocking chair with a cooler of ale and alcohol while beating off to passing kittens who offer their wisdom of old age and life's bitchy schematics to a better wife who will build the robots of humanity's tomorrow forcing us into a progressive evolution of manginas dominating the gorilla biscuits of our tomorrow while bananas take over our universe as they already have and now we pray to JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS for forgiveness as he smokes the crack pipe of job opportunities at every turn which puts our world into a recessive state of delusion and ICE COLD HORSE LEMONADE weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

[Pesmerga]

Moral of the story? Realize that everyone you know, someday, will die. And instead of saying all of your goodbyes - let them know you realize that life goes fast - it's hard to make the good things last. You realize the sun doesn't go down, it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round

 

[99.vikram]

I think old people have a duty to stay around as long as they can. They have forged life long bonds with family and friends, and they should keep that alive.

I don't fear death as much as most people. I do fear the pain involved in death but nonexistence is a comforting idea. As for losing loved ones, I don't know how I'll react, but I'm sure I won't be shattered.

 

[Dog--]

heh how long you been playin music? Thats something I'd like to get into myself sometime, although Im mostly workin towards illustration. Are you pretty skilled?

Well, I'm sort of poor, but not really. See my parents are the kind of people who have the 'you want it, you pay for it' mentality, so I don't have much nice things, but they do have nice things (I actually like it better that way, I can't get spoiled), and I only have 2 pretty bad guitars, I got both second-hand, one for $100 and the other for $200, I'm saving up $100 so I can buy a second-hand bass (it can't be THAT much different from guitar, atleast in theory (notes), and my recording equipment consists of my MP3 player that has a mic on it.. The only reason I've got this computer is because it's everybody's who lives here (we share, 5 people.. I do all my editing on this same computer with a free version of Audacity.. I'll probably just pirate the full version of that, though..). Pretty much the only thing they pay for is food and that kind of stuff. Although I did thank them a million times for the 360 and Wii..

That's why I want to get $5000 and just completely spoil myself rotten.

As for my skills.. I don't know, I don't really like saying good things about myself (it feels like bragging, and I hate bragging).. I try, put it that way. I think I'm above average.

 

[Moto]

I think I'll be a really active old bastard. I think getting old is partly physical and partly a mindset. I'm not going to allow myself to sit in a rocking chair in a retirement home watching Days of Our Lives everyday. I want to ride my dirtbike when I'm really old and go surfing and just kick a whole bunch of ass.

I can understand how she must feel, though. I feel lonely every now and then because I'm at a community college and all of my friends from HS are scattered all over the place. I know that's a lot less serious, but still. Being alone is no joke. I live for other people. I can be so bummed out and then a friend will say hi to me on facebook or something and I'm instantly in a better mood.

 

[VirusType2]

I'll tell it like my mother told me.

When my Dad left, my Mom thought she was going to die for some 5 years, and is still hurting to this day about it, even though she finally remarried 30 years later. However the pain did fade over time, and knowing this, she tells me that no matter how sad you might be, eventually time will heal the pain.

And I will add that when you are in emotional pain, even an hour feels like forever because you have no idea how long the pain will last, or if it will get worse before it gets better. It's bad, but this is a part of life just like death is. It will get better.

The alternative is to not have this higher brain function. Would anyone prefer to have no emotion so as to not feel emotional pain? Maybe some would, but they would miss other emotions I believe. Because I think without joy and happiness, well, life wouldn't be much fun now would it? In fact I don't think you can have fun without emotions.

My Iguana doesn't have emotions, and it's disappointing to me because sometimes he makes me laugh, but he doesn't find anything in this world funny. I honestly feel bad for him. Because I often have outbursts, for example when reading some posts on here, and am laughing hard and feeling great, and I'm certain that he doesn't have a clue what it's all about, as he sits on his tree branch looking blankly.


Oh, and by the way, there are so many things one could do with your life. Old people like gardening and things like that. There are so many possible hobbies out there, I don't think I need to list any more. No, she won't be able to skydive anymore, but there has to be exciting things that she will be able to do.

I'm sure a waverunner, jet-ski, ATV, or snowmobile aren't out of the question for a 60 year old.

When I was young I used to do wild things like jump ramps on my bike, but I'm done with that now. When I'm her age I won't be missing it TBH. I'm looking forward to being old. It will be nice to retire and do all the things I love anytime I want without having to go to work. Also, it might be nice having a limp dick, then I can actually think clearly and get more done. Come on, is laying in a bed half the day watching movies so bad?

At a retirement age, that is the final goal in life isn't it? Tell her to get some pets. Watching Animals are proven to improve mood and lower blood pressure, get your mind off of problems etc. And it will keep her from being so lonely.

I do all my editing on this same computer with a free version of Audacity.. I'll probably just pirate the full version of that, though..). Pretty much the only thing they pay for is food and that kind of stuff. Although I did thank them a million times for the 360 and Wii..

AFAIK, Audacity is freeware.

anwyay, what you need is a $10 microphone from walmart to get you started. recording with an mp3 player's built in mic or whatever has got to sound like total shit. Just plug the microphone into your PC. You'll figure it out.