One of my songs (acoustic demo)

[craig]

This is an acoustic demo of one of my songs called 'Sad Monday' written basically about fancying a girl and her not being interested (guess we've all been there?).

I dont consider myself a very good singer, but worth a listen I'd say. All crits are of-course welcome, but if you're intention is just to be nasty you can feck off.. Oh and the music is in the 'melow indie' vein.

Sad Monday Link


Sad Monday - Lyrics & Music (craig p)

Verse
Walking home in the rain,
wonder if I'll ever see her again.
With those eyes,
enchantment like fire,
make you do what she desires...

Chorus
... and I know,
dont ever wanna be alone,
on a sad monday again.
And I know,
dont ever wanna be alone,
on a sad monday again.

Verse
Mondays come and they go,
still no answer,
does she even wanna know?
All my friends say I'm wasting my time,
hope theres a chance one day she'll be mine...

Chorus
... and I know,
dont ever wanna be alone,
on a sad monday again.
And I know,
dont ever wanna be alone,
on a sad monday again.

 

[Frank]

I think you should use less-forward lyrics, because the ones you've used in that song are like a story and songs are always better when the artist use different words that are not so common used.
Ever heard some of Beck's songs? His lyrics are a bit weird, but that's why I like them.
http://members.**********/~BECK4BECK/mellow_gold.html

I love this one:

Put me in a hole in the ground
With the money and the towel
And the women running around

Can't complain about the mess
Momma killed her only dress
Now she's longin' for the pines

Watch my troubles all unwind
Drinkin' gasoline and wine
Catch chill up the storm

On the train they cannot feel
Lost my head beneath the wheel
Now she steals my body home

The trees are fake, the air is dead
The birds are stuffed with poison lead
And the ground is much too clean

And if it's only me who's scared
Strap me 'nto the 'lectric chairs
Ring the moon like a broken bell

When she drags you from the hill
Daddy's gonna burn down the still
We can watch it from the rooftop

Lay into the fryin' pan
Now she kisses her own hand
With the fiddle on the fire

I took a leap into the fog
Sleepin' on a hollow log
Now I'm coughin' with no mouth

You can keep yourself inside
But you know you cannot hide
When the devil's your only friend

The part written with fat letters is my favorite part of the song.
EDIT: BTW. The song is called Steal my BOdy Home

 

[Ridic]

Your hands didnt move
well neither did mine.
New Years will bring
so much to say
but nothing comes out right
both of us left without words
both of us lost in this world
it's softer than ever before.

And you were the outline
of everything you would become.
The keeper of these hands.
To hold you now
it is a far cry more than anything that I deserve.

I'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.
It seemed like the bottom was all that I had until now
I'd give you my life
if you'd give me yours somehow.

Your hands didn't move
well neither did mine
New Years will bring me to you.
I'm waiting to give you whatever the world may bring
I'd give you my life
cause I don't own anything.
It seemed like the bottle was all that I had until now
I'd give you my life
if you'd give me yours somehow.




-==Best song ever===-d==

 

[famas_man]

Wow, that was way better than I expected.
I dont think you have a bad voice really. Haha sorta reminded me of a softer version of Axel Rose from Guns n' Roses... (I like those guys so I mean it in a good way )

As for the guitar, it was simple but it was a good choice of chords. I didn't really like the lyrics. I mean there was nothing particularily wrong with them, but as Frank said maybe they could be "less-forward."

Overall I think it was really good. Keep up the good work .

 

[Gergor]

What type of mic/recording rig did you use for this? Be careful of digital disortion. This can be avoided with some input compression (or just turning the levels down a little on input). BTW, if you want advice on your singing, I'd say try not to be quite so "nasal." Try to sing more from your diaphragm. Also, maybe go easy a bit on the delay on the voice-- it sounds ok, but there are prolly other things that could be done that would make the mix tighter as a whole. Hope you found this constructive.

BTW, throw on some drums and a bass and maybe double-track that acoustic guitar on a chotus, and you could have a pretty catchy song here. Unless your into just the lone singer/guitarist thing, which is cool too.

 

[Jhahn2k4]

Whoa, that was surprisingly good.. I don't know much about little things in music, but I guess you were pretty good.

 

[famas_man]

BTW, if you want advice on your singing, I'd say try not to be quite so "nasal."

AHA! Thats why his voice reminded me of Axel Rose... he sometimes sounds like that when he's not screeching... especially in "Knocking on Heavens Door"
I've heard that he damaged his throat or something from not singing from his diaphram.... very interesting

 

[Chris D]

Sounds really nice. You could go far.

 

[ComradeBadger]

Sounds really nice. You could go far.

I think this too, I rather like the song

Go with it

 

[craig]

Thanks for the kind comments guys.


Gergor - I would like to record my stuff properly, but I'm not in a band and dont have the equipment, so I'm just stuck with an acoustic guitar.

 

[Mr-Fusion]

This song is better than 90% of the crap i hear on the radio.

 

[craig]

Thanks, when I get some more of my stuff recorded I'll upload it so you can have a listen.

 

[X-FacToR]

Good stuff give us more, I like the way you sing it, lyrics go well together unlike tons of songs that acctually bring in money and have no flow whatsoever.