One of my songs...

[craig]

seems the other forums are ghost towns, and considering this is Off Topic I'll post this here aswell I suppose.

LINK

 

[Dedalus]

sounds like a radiohead song. rename it to 'Radiohead - Sad Monday' and put in on p2p...there'll be shitload sof downloads.

apart from that i quite liked it, although i don't really go for the mushy mushy luvvy duvvy stuff. and i reckon it'd sound a lot better without the slight echo, if it's at all possible to remove it?

:cheers:

 

[Frank]

seems the other forums are ghost towns, and considering this is Off Topic I'll post this here aswell I suppose.

LINK

If you get to post twice then so do I!

think you should use less-forward lyrics, because the ones you've used in that song are like a story and songs are always better when the artist use different words that are not so common used.
Ever heard some of Beck's songs? His lyrics are a bit weird, but that's why I like them.
http://members.**********/~BECK4BECK/mellow_gold.html

I love this one:

Put me in a hole in the ground
With the money and the towel
And the women running around

Can't complain about the mess
Momma killed her only dress
Now she's longin' for the pines

Watch my troubles all unwind
Drinkin' gasoline and wine
Catch chill up the storm

On the train they cannot feel
Lost my head beneath the wheel
Now she steals my body home

The trees are fake, the air is dead
The birds are stuffed with poison lead
And the ground is much too clean

And if it's only me who's scared
Strap me 'nto the 'lectric chairs
Ring the moon like a broken bell

When she drags you from the hill
Daddy's gonna burn down the still
We can watch it from the rooftop

Lay into the fryin' pan
Now she kisses her own hand
With the fiddle on the fire

I took a leap into the fog
Sleepin' on a hollow log
Now I'm coughin' with no mouth

You can keep yourself inside
But you know you cannot hide
When the devil's your only friend

The part written with fat letters is my favorite part of the song.

 

[craig]

sounds like a radiohead song. rename it to 'Radiohead - Sad Monday' and put in on p2p...there'll be shitload sof downloads.

apart from that i quite liked it, although i don't really go for the mushy mushy luvvy duvvy stuff. and i reckon it'd sound a lot better without the slight echo, if it's at all possible to remove it?

:cheers:

I added that echo in soundforge thinking it was 'funky' and added a load of other crap, but SF only lets you revert so far and unfortunatley I was stuck with the echo


FRANK: this is the only song i've ever written with 'forward' lyrics, most of the stuff i write is pretty obscure, but i was finiding it really difficult with this song. besides, when women hear this they totally dig it