Pregnancy and shit

[sinkoman]

So a friend of mine just lost her virginity. Dumb bitch did the unprotected nasty wasty and hasn't gotten her period when she normally would have gotten it about today. Now she's freaking out, and i'm not too sure what to tell the dumb whore.

Am I right in thinking that it's not too odd for that shit to be a day or two late?

 

[Pesmerga]

Nope, she's pregnant.

 

[sinkoman]

Nope, she's pregnant.

Damn, I don't think I have any metal coathangers left...

 

[Pesmerga]

Sinkoman, it's a boy. Congratulations.

 

[BabyHeadCrab]

I recall a certain Willeh thread.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

You could always **** her while the fetus is still in there. As long as your dick is large enough you can mash the fetus into bits before it fully develops.

 

[MJ12]

You cannot have sex with a girl while she is pregnant, the sperm kill the baby.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Exactly.

 

[kineaesth]

As long as your dick is large enough you can mash the fetus into bits before it fully develops.

This is entirely untrue.

 

[99.vikram]

If you attach a large hook to your dick, it could work.

 

[sinkoman]

If you attach a large hook to your dick, it could work.

What if I attached a large dick to my hook?

After all, I am a pirate...

 

[Eejit]

Tell her she's a dumb bitch for not using protection or the morning after pill.

 

[bam23]

This is entirely untrue.

but still ultra lol-worthy

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

My parry are with the father.

 

[Gemma]

Lol, tell her to go see a doctor

 

[99.vikram]

Get her a "Best Mom in the World" mug. I bet she'd find that hilarious.

Videotape the reaction.

 

[Barnz]

Kill her.

It's the only way.

 

[Dynasty]

Get the coat hanger out...

Nah in all seriousness, her eggo is preggo.

 

[Pesmerga]

Is it time now to focus on the "shit" portion of this thread, as the title implies?

 

[Sheepo]

Get her a "Best Mom in the World" mug. I bet she'd find that hilarious.

Videotape the reaction.

This is my favorite option. Do this.

 

[jondy]

+1, hahaha.

 

[Evo]

Tell her she's a dumb bitch for not using protection or the morning after pill.

She can be considered a dumb bitch for not making the guy use a condom or using the pill. The guy can be considered a dumb bitch for not wearing a condom.

 

[Ravioli]

Tell her to buy those quick abortion things, that will kill it even a few days after the ****ing. If its too late for that, do a real abortion (which i hope is legal in your area), if not, then push her down the stairs.

 

[Pesmerga]

or HAVE THE ****ING BABY AND GIVE IT THE CHANCE YOU NEVER GOT.

 

[Ravioli]

or HAVE THE ****ING BABY AND GIVE IT THE CHANCE YOU NEVER GOT.

Yes, because letting an underage dumbass girl who has no responsibility and IQ at all raise a child during a very severe economic crisis were she probably wont get a job because she sucks at school so they both have to sign up on wellfare that you all pay taxes too and then the kid ends up being a ****ing embarrassment anyway and starts selling coke by the age of 13 and then shots up the school in anger that his mother is such a ****ing idiot.

Perfect sense

 

[Sheepo]

Are you... are you serious Ravioli?

 

[Dalamari]

Pregnancy and shit? How are they related?

 

[Ravioli]

Are you... are you serious Ravioli?

Im exagurating obviously :rolling:

but on a serious note, i dont think it would be very smart to have a kid at such age. (im assuming that shes very young, i could be wrong)

 

[Sheepo]

Did you notice that the post was made by Pesh and made little to no sense?

 

[Ravioli]

Did you notice that the post was made by Pesh and made little to no sense?

 

[Pesmerga]

No child grew into an adult because of money.

 

[Krynn72]

You should just keep calling her a dumb bitch and whore for having sex that one time. Slap her around a bit too. Eventually you can become her pimp, and then actually whore her out, making some cash for you, but also letting her have some so she can afford to raise her baby.

 

[Eejit]

Remember to cut her a bit too.

 

[jondy]

Yeah, it's all about the cutting.

 

[Farrowlesparrow]

Pregnancy and shit? How are they related?

Women poo whilst giving birth.

 

[sinkoman]

Well all sorts of bloody bits came out of her penis sucking device today, so it's all good.

I'm bored.

 

[Phobie]

Glad to hear it.

Your friend is an idiot.

 

[G(ordon)-man]

Women poo whilst giving birth.

Holy **** you made my day!

 

[Druckles]

You could try and be helpful. Calling her a bitch or a whore isn't helpful at all and isn't going to do anything except enforce your current superiority in the situation which isn't necessarily even reflective of real life, nor useful to the situation. It's not even particularly hard to be viewed as the 'better' party when you're not even involved.

Also, use of the word "whore" and the like isn't going to help you in the long run. When you're wondering why your girlfriend isn't putting out, it might have been something you said to imply sexual activity is only for men.

 

[nurizeko]

Whatever you do, don't ****ing marry her or in any way become her crutch.


She and the little piss-streak of a father should raise that kid, if they ever had it, which they wont, since she isn't preggers.


I remember once I couldn't be ****ed with a condom, dunno why, guess I just wanted some fun for a change (to our younger members, condoms kill all sensation and make ejaculation hurt to ****, just don't wear them), and an ex g/f didn't have her period for days because of all the anti-pregnancy shit she took, she totally wouldn't talk to me, hahaha.

Luckily she wasn't preggers, she turned out to be a massive bitch. :imu: