I hope none of you mind that this is just a Half-Life story, not Half-Life 2. The basic concept sprang to mind the other day though and I thought it would be really funny to do.
But enough delay, on with the show!
Prologue: Falling Into a Nightmare
The day arrived bright and yellowish-grey as it always had upon Raashyark’s little pond in Zen. Little did he know that it would be this day that would change him forever. Raashyark had been living there for many days, which was fairly long for a headcrab. It was a very solitary life, but he didn’t mind. He had always been very different from the others of his kin. He may have looked the same, but he had little desire to find a nice face to on which to attach. He didn’t want to be a parasite. The others had only shunned him for it. After all, what was the point of life if you could not find the perfect head to be with? That was what all the others thought.
Ah, but today would be different! The night before he had run into a snark with a similar problem to his. Blort’s problem was that he was too slow. Now most of the time befriending a snark was a near-impossible task. If you said even the slightest thing wrong, they would blow up your face! Besides, all that green goo was a bitch to clean off. Blort wasn’t like that though. He had even been living twice as long as the snarks his parent cells had originated from. Though it was somewhat beneficial, his family always made fun of him because of it. So Blort and Raashyark had a nice long talk about their haughty relatives, lasting well into the night. Today, they decided, they were going to get them back.
Raashyark leaped out of bed and landed plop in the middle of his pond to freshen up. After turning around a twice, he was rather impatient to get going after all, he took a quick jump through the crisp air to dry off. He was feeling a bit hungry, but Blort was sure to have something to gnaw on. He started the slow crawl to their arranged meeting place. On the way a strange tingle ran up his jumpers – an ominous feeling of dread welled up in his body. He tried dismissing it as anxiety, but somehow he knew something awful was going to happen.
He pushed the thought to the back of his mind as his destination began to appear around the corner. Blort was already waiting for him on the island and ol’ Fluurt was sitting in the water as always. Fluurt was a bullsquid and since bullsquids have heads large enough to latch on to, he was still rather untrusting of Raashyark. He would always move to the furthest edge of his pool while keeping a nervous watch on them, but mostly he just sat there running his tendrils through the water. He was a strange guy.
Blort called out hello in his squeak of a voice and Raashyark leaped into the air in response. Fluurt grunted alarmingly at the sudden movement, but other than that he was practically motionless. Landing on the island, Raash was berated by sudden chatter.
“Hey. Hey, Raash. I got the perfect place man, the perfect place! Since you were so long gettin’ here I was lookin’ around and I found this big ol’ cave over there man, it’s freakin’ huge! It’s gonna be the perfect place to hide, man. Perfect!” Slow was a relative term for Blort.
Raash waved his latchers to shut him up. “Good. That’s good, Blort, just take me too it. And try to wait up for me, please.”
“Ha ha ha ha ha, I gotcha man, I gotcha. It’s right over here, man, over here!” With that he started to run off across the lake with complete disregard to the last request. Sighing, Raash leaped over the water, which elicited another grunt from ol’ Fluurt, and started following after the rush of words that were still erupting from Blort’s mouth.
The cave was actually nearby, hidden behind a dangling green plant. It wasn’t as big as Blort seemed to make it, he was a snark after all, but it was plenty large enough for their purpose. As soon as he had arrived Blort had started blaring out, “Whaddya think? Whaddya think? Whaddya think?”
Raash brushed back the plant and peered outside, he could just see ol’ Fluurt and his pond in the distance. “Yeah, it’s great, Blort. It’ll work gr—” The whole landscape suddenly changed. The air felt thicker and everything suddenly took on a bluish tinge. The dread from earlier rushed back to him. What the hell was happening? Was the world ending?
Blort brought his mind back to reality. “What’s goin’ on man? You stop talkin’ and I get weird feelin’ man. What you lookin’ at man?” Blort jumped on top of his head and looked out just as a loud noise erupted around him and the world turned completely green. The next thing he knew he was back at the cave and everything felt the same again, but a large orange creature had suddenly appeared right next to ol’ Fluurt. It looked around menacingly and before Raash could react everything was green again.
When the world reappeared it was completely different. The only color was a whitish-blue and everything looked perfectly straight. Then he noticed the big creatures in the far corner. The looked like the orange one from just before, but these ones were mostly white. They were making loud, angry noises and seemed to be looking at a wall. They may be big, but they’re stupid things, he thought. Suddenly the wall exploded and one of them fell over, red stuff splashing all over the floor. The other started making even louder noises and Raash was starting to get very scared. Then he noticed something moving on his back. By some fortune Blort was there with him and was quivering with fear, his eyes bulging even more than normal. Not the smartest of companions, but perhaps Blort and he could find a way out of this mess.
“Blort, are you all right?” he whispered. Blort twitched and looked down at him. “Blort, calm down, there’s got to be a way out of this! We can find it; we just have to use our heads.”
“It’s over, they’re gonna kill us! We’re trapped here, man!” he blurted out crazily. “Look at those things, they’re huge like the Vortigaunts!”
“Blort, please, calm down! Don’t get excited!”
“There’s nowhere to run, they’ll see us if we try!” Just then the beast turned around looked straight at them. Blort started to scream. The beast was growling too, but it turned around and knelt down by the second beast which was still collapsed on the floor. Blort didn’t seem to see though, he was still screaming.
“No, Blort, please. It’s alright! It doesn’t seem to care about us. You’ve got to—”
He was alone in a strange world. The only things on his side were wit and cunning. And he had to get home.
But enough delay, on with the show!
Prologue: Falling Into a Nightmare
The day arrived bright and yellowish-grey as it always had upon Raashyark’s little pond in Zen. Little did he know that it would be this day that would change him forever. Raashyark had been living there for many days, which was fairly long for a headcrab. It was a very solitary life, but he didn’t mind. He had always been very different from the others of his kin. He may have looked the same, but he had little desire to find a nice face to on which to attach. He didn’t want to be a parasite. The others had only shunned him for it. After all, what was the point of life if you could not find the perfect head to be with? That was what all the others thought.
Ah, but today would be different! The night before he had run into a snark with a similar problem to his. Blort’s problem was that he was too slow. Now most of the time befriending a snark was a near-impossible task. If you said even the slightest thing wrong, they would blow up your face! Besides, all that green goo was a bitch to clean off. Blort wasn’t like that though. He had even been living twice as long as the snarks his parent cells had originated from. Though it was somewhat beneficial, his family always made fun of him because of it. So Blort and Raashyark had a nice long talk about their haughty relatives, lasting well into the night. Today, they decided, they were going to get them back.
Raashyark leaped out of bed and landed plop in the middle of his pond to freshen up. After turning around a twice, he was rather impatient to get going after all, he took a quick jump through the crisp air to dry off. He was feeling a bit hungry, but Blort was sure to have something to gnaw on. He started the slow crawl to their arranged meeting place. On the way a strange tingle ran up his jumpers – an ominous feeling of dread welled up in his body. He tried dismissing it as anxiety, but somehow he knew something awful was going to happen.
He pushed the thought to the back of his mind as his destination began to appear around the corner. Blort was already waiting for him on the island and ol’ Fluurt was sitting in the water as always. Fluurt was a bullsquid and since bullsquids have heads large enough to latch on to, he was still rather untrusting of Raashyark. He would always move to the furthest edge of his pool while keeping a nervous watch on them, but mostly he just sat there running his tendrils through the water. He was a strange guy.
Blort called out hello in his squeak of a voice and Raashyark leaped into the air in response. Fluurt grunted alarmingly at the sudden movement, but other than that he was practically motionless. Landing on the island, Raash was berated by sudden chatter.
“Hey. Hey, Raash. I got the perfect place man, the perfect place! Since you were so long gettin’ here I was lookin’ around and I found this big ol’ cave over there man, it’s freakin’ huge! It’s gonna be the perfect place to hide, man. Perfect!” Slow was a relative term for Blort.
Raash waved his latchers to shut him up. “Good. That’s good, Blort, just take me too it. And try to wait up for me, please.”
“Ha ha ha ha ha, I gotcha man, I gotcha. It’s right over here, man, over here!” With that he started to run off across the lake with complete disregard to the last request. Sighing, Raash leaped over the water, which elicited another grunt from ol’ Fluurt, and started following after the rush of words that were still erupting from Blort’s mouth.
The cave was actually nearby, hidden behind a dangling green plant. It wasn’t as big as Blort seemed to make it, he was a snark after all, but it was plenty large enough for their purpose. As soon as he had arrived Blort had started blaring out, “Whaddya think? Whaddya think? Whaddya think?”
Raash brushed back the plant and peered outside, he could just see ol’ Fluurt and his pond in the distance. “Yeah, it’s great, Blort. It’ll work gr—” The whole landscape suddenly changed. The air felt thicker and everything suddenly took on a bluish tinge. The dread from earlier rushed back to him. What the hell was happening? Was the world ending?
Blort brought his mind back to reality. “What’s goin’ on man? You stop talkin’ and I get weird feelin’ man. What you lookin’ at man?” Blort jumped on top of his head and looked out just as a loud noise erupted around him and the world turned completely green. The next thing he knew he was back at the cave and everything felt the same again, but a large orange creature had suddenly appeared right next to ol’ Fluurt. It looked around menacingly and before Raash could react everything was green again.
When the world reappeared it was completely different. The only color was a whitish-blue and everything looked perfectly straight. Then he noticed the big creatures in the far corner. The looked like the orange one from just before, but these ones were mostly white. They were making loud, angry noises and seemed to be looking at a wall. They may be big, but they’re stupid things, he thought. Suddenly the wall exploded and one of them fell over, red stuff splashing all over the floor. The other started making even louder noises and Raash was starting to get very scared. Then he noticed something moving on his back. By some fortune Blort was there with him and was quivering with fear, his eyes bulging even more than normal. Not the smartest of companions, but perhaps Blort and he could find a way out of this mess.
“Blort, are you all right?” he whispered. Blort twitched and looked down at him. “Blort, calm down, there’s got to be a way out of this! We can find it; we just have to use our heads.”
“It’s over, they’re gonna kill us! We’re trapped here, man!” he blurted out crazily. “Look at those things, they’re huge like the Vortigaunts!”
“Blort, please, calm down! Don’t get excited!”
“There’s nowhere to run, they’ll see us if we try!” Just then the beast turned around looked straight at them. Blort started to scream. The beast was growling too, but it turned around and knelt down by the second beast which was still collapsed on the floor. Blort didn’t seem to see though, he was still screaming.
“No, Blort, please. It’s alright! It doesn’t seem to care about us. You’ve got to—”
He was alone in a strange world. The only things on his side were wit and cunning. And he had to get home.
