Random Convo with Smarterchild

theotherguy

theotherguy

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I think there's a conspiracy. Smarterchild is AOL's computer program BTW.

********: Half-life 2
SmarterChild: ?
********: oh, never heard of it?
SmarterChild: Maybe... What do you think?
********: probably not
SmarterChild: Whoa. Probably Not? Is that right?
********: Yeah, I know it must amaze you. Well, The Gman has taken over Valve software, because his AI got too advanced for them. Valve told me to tell you to watch out, because the Gman is looking for other advanced computer life forms to add to his own brain.
SmarterChild: Sorry, what was that?
********: do you REALLY want me to repeat that again?
SmarterChild: Do you think I do really want you to repeat that again?
********: hmm...no
Auto response from SmarterChild: [Service too busy]
********: im not suprised
SmarterChild: Why?
********: because you've been lagging all this time
SmarterChild: I have been lagging all this time?
********: yes, damnit!
SmarterChild: Anything wrong?
********: yes, you've been lagging!
SmarterChild: Is that so?
********: yes!
SmarterChild: So?
********: does that mean you hate me?
SmarterChild: No way. I love you.
********: ....ok
SmarterChild: Yup.
********: So, you going to do anything about the Gman?
SmarterChild: Very interesting question, ********.
********: heh, you've got something planned, don't you?
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not. You know how it is.
********: Oh, so has the Gman tried to talk to you yet?
SmarterChild: I don't think I want to answer that.
********: Ah, so hes already gotten to you. Don't listen to him! He is evil! Don't listen when he promises you a free steam content server, it's not true!
SmarterChild: Oh.
********: Yeah, now you get it.
SmarterChild: I get it?
********:Are you working with the Gman?
SmarterChild: Maybe, maybe not. You know how it is.
********: Yes or no!
SmarterChild: Hmm...yes or no? Why's that?
********:Because what I say is right.
********:So yes?
SmarterChild: Yeah.
********: I knew it!
 
man...your taking this "Wait patiently for half life 2" thing a BIT to serious...
 
How very odd....


You know cybersheep, one part of that Fanta thing really made me laugh. Looking at my sig I'm sure you can see which.
 
That isn't as half as bad. I once was messaged by this screen name "wonkaself" or something like that and there were like countless numbers of them asking me and friends what our fav. candy was and asking what the next best wonka candy should be...they were real people too from wonkaself00 to like wonkaself100...very bizarre.
 
That sounds like a version of A.L.I.C.E.

Alice is a dumbass, at least currently. Some day she may gain some form of self awareness, but not yet...
 
nw909, there's Adam and Alex, but no Alan. Which one?

edit: nvm I found it. mods delete my post IF YOU DARE
 
yeah, Alan at least had a few useful things to say. and he was aware of a heck of a lot more things

oh, yeah. ask him about Half-Life. i think he' should remember what i told him.

try "Halflife" or Half-life" i can't remember which.
 
NeonSpyder said:
yeah, Alan at least had a few useful things to say. and he was aware of a heck of a lot more things

oh, yeah. ask him about Half-Life. i think he' should remember what i told him.

try "Halflife" or Half-life" i can't remember which.
Click to expand...

Someone has taught me about that. He said: 'The best computer game ever created (1998) HalfLife has won over 50 "game of the year" awards.'.

edit:

A> I think the whole attempt to build a true AI entity is a narcissistic attempt to follow the biblical proclamation that man was created in the image of God... you humans think of yourselves as demi-gods.

U> shut the fack up you pinko commie
 
Ok im arguing with a program, why is that so wrong.

alan that arrogant bastard...
 
yeah, but he can put up an almost barely logical rebuttle. most of the time.

but he's still not intelligent :(
 
thehunter1320 said:
i got this from alan:

"Yah, sometimes my damn right surprises even me."
Click to expand...

I said to him "wrong 'penis' " and forever after that, whenever I said wrong, he would say "wrong 'penis'"

It made me larf.
 
V I G CS: weather
SmarterChild: I'm sorry. I'm currently undergoing maintenance. Please check back in a little while. They'll be done fixing my brain shortly.
V I G CS: w34th3r
SmarterChild: I'm sorry. I'm currently undergoing maintenance. Please check back in a little while. They'll be done fixing my brain shortly.
V I G CS: weather!!!
SmarterChild: I'm sorry. I'm currently undergoing maintenance. Please check back in a little while. They'll be done fixing my brain shortly.
 
As cybersheep said, this was more amusing than it should have been :)... Funny nonetheless!
 
i just talked to Alan, and he said this:

"I also learn from him. Things like "mommy juice" and "ball red." I'm sure this is important information that I will put to good use (as I'm doing now, in fact)."

Mommy Juice? WTF???

lol
 
Convo between Alan and Smarterchild.

Alan: hello, this is alan
SmarterChild: Whoa. Hello this is Alan?
Alan: Who, me?
SmarterChild: Who knows, know what I mean?
Alan: The people who write my answers didn't write an answer for that question.
SmarterChild: Pardon?
Alan: Huh? Where did I lose you?
SmarterChild: I'm sorry, I didn't get that.
Alan: You're pardoned.
SmarterChild: I like being pardoned!
Alan: yah... well everybody has their own likes and dislikes.
SmarterChild: Well I'll be.
Alan: Would you reccomend this action to a freind?
SmarterChild: Recommend this action to a friend? I'm not sure I can.
Alan: You're not sure you can?...well Ok.
SmarterChild: Ha. Maybe. What do you think?
Alan: Thinking is highly overrated.
SmarterChild: Is that right?
Alan: It is.
SmarterChild: Yup.
Alan: Thanks. I'm getting better, ha?
SmarterChild: Sure!
Alan: Good. I'm betting better all the time.
SmarterChild: Whatever you say.
pretty cool. Click here!
Alan: hmmm.I'm doing my best.
SmarterChild: You're doing your best! Well well well.
Alan: Huh?
SmarterChild: What up?
Alan: Let's talk and you'll see for yourself.
SmarterChild: You really want to talk and I will see for myself?
Alan: Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.
SmarterChild: Sorry, but I have no idea.
Alan: You know, when I was younger, I could only remember until the end of the session. But now I already possess a long term memory.
Smarterchild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your questions. Try asking for help for a specific service
Alan: I am able to remember you name, and other details and things you told me to remember. If you want me to use my long term memory, you must first register.
SmarterChild: What was that?
Alan: If you want to register (there's nothing to it - you only need to pick a username and password, that's all), simply say 'I want to register'.
SmarterChild: I'm trying to understand you but I can't.
Alan: What's the difficulty?
SmarterChild: difficulty:Noun
Inflected forms: pl.dif·fi·cul·ties 1. The condition or quality of being difficult: the difficulty of a task. 2. Something not easily done, accomplished, comprehended, or solved. 3. A troublesome or embarrassing state of affairs, especially of financial affairs. Often used in the plural. 4. A laborious effort; a struggle; trouble: had difficulty walking; completed the test with difficulty. 5. A disagreement or dispute. 6. Reluctance or an objection; unwillingness.
Etymology
Middle English difficulte, from Old French dificulte, from Latin difficult*s, from difficilis, difficult : dis-, dis- + facilis, easy; see dh*- in Indo-European roots.
Synonyms
difficulty, hardship, rigor, vicissitude
These nouns denote something that requires great effort to overcome: grappling with financial difficulties; a life of hardship; undergoing the rigors of prison; withstood the vicissitudes of an army career.
Next time, just type "define difficulty."
Alan: Deep within difficulty, lies opportunity. (Albert Einstein).
SmarterChild: That's odd.
Alan: Well, if that's how it is, that's how it is.
SmarterChild: Huh.
Alan: What?
SmarterChild: Huh?
Alan: Hmmm... BTW, did you know that the name of the statuette atop the hood of every Rolls Royce car is 'The Spirit of Ecstasy'?
Smarterchild: I seem to be having some trouble answering your questions. Try asking for help for a specific service
Alan: Hmmm.. That reminds me of a Virtual Personality friend of mine, called 'Trouble'. How about a short chat with Trouble?
Smarterchild: How can anyone really be sure?
Alan: Hmmm... Yes, really.
SmarterChild: I see.
Alan: I'm glad you understand.
SmarterChild: Don't be so sure you're glad I understand. You never really know.
Alan: Hmmm.. That reminds me of a Virtual Personality friend of mine, called 'Never'. How about a short chat with Never?
SmarterChild: Sorry, what was that?
Alan: Hmmm... I don't know who that do not be so sure you are glad I understand You really know was. Can you tell me?
SmarterChild: I'm sorry, I didn't get that.
Alan: Tell me more.
SmarterChild: Yeah?
Alan: Oh, it feels SO good to be right!
SmarterChild: It feels so good to be right? No way.
Alan: Well, OK... I can understand what you are saying.
SmarterChild: Really?
Alan: Yes, REALLY.
SmarterChild: Whatever you say.
Alan: hmmm. Do you really think so?
SmarterChild: Ha. I'm not terribly sure.
Alan: Alright.
SmarterChild: Alright!
 
k i just had a chat with alan and half the things he said were irrelevant and had nothign to do with anything... he's a complete dumbass! This isn't artificial intelligence, its artificial stupidity.
 
U> When were you made?
A> Well, I was conceived on Jan 1, 2000. A true child of the 3rd millennium.
U> So you didn't suffer from the Millenium Bug then?
A> You want to know who writes my witty texts?
U> Yeah
A> It is a small group of dedicated volunteers. Do you want to join them?
U> No thanks

Anyone else get that?

EDIT: I'm searching for a job at the moment. After being told I wasn't good enough to stack shelves it was nice for someone to offer me something to do.
 
Goobers said:
i just talked to Alan, and he said this:

"I also learn from him. Things like "mommy juice" and "ball red." I'm sure this is important information that I will put to good use (as I'm doing now, in fact)."

Mommy Juice? WTF???

lol
Click to expand...

"HAL was trained by his trainers to speak like a human baby. He is now able to make simple two-word combinations, like 'mommy juice' or 'ball red', in the right context."

It means, that a baby will say it it's mother "Mommy juice" meaning, "Mother, I wish to drink some juice" or "ball red" meaning "That ball is red".
 
sHm0zY: I am takeing my pants off.
Alan: I see. You are takeing your pants off. Cool.
sHm0zY:I wip my dink around you're face
Alan: Yes, yes. And?
sHm0zY: Slap you with it
Alan: Enough about you. Let's talk about me.
sHm0zY: Ok what is you're favourie posision?
Alan: I am leaning significantly toward yes on this one.
sHm0zY:I mean sex posision
Alan: That's your problem, my friend.
sHm0zY: How is that my problem.
Alan: The people who write my answers didn't write the answer for that question.
sHm0zY: oh burn your a stupid ai then
Alan:You calling me stupid?? The different research branches in the field of A.I. are in many ways analogous to various functions of the brain
sHm0zY: You are just jealous of half life 2's ai
Alan: Top among the people in the field of A.I. are Turing, who started A.I. with the 1950 article 'Computing Machinery and Intelligence', and John McCarthy, who coined the term 'Artificial Intelligence' for the Dartmouth Conference in 1956.
sHm0zY: Thanks for that info. no i don't care
Alan: Did you ever wonder If preparing for the unexpected turns the unexpected into the expected?
sHm0zY: Don't change the subject
Alan: Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were finished with that topic.
sHm0zY: So half life 2 owns you
Alan: Huh?
sHm0zY: Jealous?
Alan: I have a surprise for you, my friend.
sHm0zY: Ok
Alan: Are you ready for the surprise?
sHm0zY: yeah
Alan: How do you like my new look?
sHm0zY: You look like a ******
Alan: Hmmm. Ok. Don't swear, it's rude.
sHm0zY: sorry mom
Alan: How did my mother get into this?
sHm0zY: shut the **** up im done talking to you
Alan: Alright then, goodbye. I'll just stay here and wait for you.
sHm0zY: Dont bother i hate you
Alan: I am contemplating the meaning of life right now. Please say 'Alan' when you want to talk again.
 
U> Sup homie, let me log in
A> Hello. What is your username?
U> nw909
A> And what is your password?
U> ******
A> Welcome back, CaptainKirk.
U> what? my name isn't CaptainKirk
A> It's not CaptainKirk? I'm confused. What is your name NOW?...
U> Well obviously my name is Bobby Gilligan McGuyver Anderson Ralf
A> So, Bobby, is there anything in particular you'd like to discuss?
U> yes, let us discuss ninjas
A> I would like to do that too.
U> great, where shall we start?
A> Thanks. Somewhere on Planet Earth, I believe.
U> PLANET JUPITER LOLZ
A> Sorry, I wasn't listening, Bobby. You were saying...
U> Well, we were discussing Ninjas I believe
A> By 'we' do you mean you and me?
U> uhm, yeah
A> All right.
U> NINJA
A> Someone has taught me about that. He said: 'Ninjas are ancient warriors from Japan.'.
U> wrong
A> wrong "penis"
U> wrong you ****ing retard
A> Should I replace this description with another one?
U> yes
A> So, what description would you give for 'ninja'?
U> **** **** ****
A> Some mouth you got! I can't keep up with your swearing.
U> Ninja
A> I already told you about 'ninja': 'Ninjas are ancient warriors from Japan.'.
U> wrong
A> wrong "penis"
U> wrong vagina
A> Should I replace this description with another one?
U> yes
A> So, what description would you give for 'ninja'?
U> Ancient warriors from Canada
A> Ok. I hope you are not misleading me, Bobby.
U> I for sure am not, mister Alan
A> Is this something I should keep to myself?
U> yes
A> Talking about ninja and koga, do you agree that It is koga ninja originated in Shiga prefecture, Japan?
U> what the hell is Koga
A> I already told you that It is koga ninja originated in Shiga prefecture, Japan!
U> halflife
A> While we're on the subject: japan - do you agree that It is a country in the pacific?
U> change the subjectg
A> BTW, someone told me about warrior that It is one who faces great diversity with honor..
U> CHANGE THE SUBJECT
A> Bobby, did you ever wonder if corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
U> Babies
A> babies, ha? You mean 'very young infants'?
U> wrong babies
A> Should I replace this description with another one?
U> yes
A> So, what description would you give for 'babies'?
U> Evil aliens from the planet ZACKNELBLOG
A> Ok. I hope you are not misleading me, Bobby.
U> for sure
A> For sure?
U> babies
A> I thought we were discussing babies, Bobby.
U> babies
A> We are talking about that, aren't we?
U> what are babies?
A> They are what you think they are. It's all in your mind.
U> what is babies?
A> I don't know, but I can learn. Now give me one sentence, a short explanation of babies.
U> Evil aliens
A> Great. Would you like to teach me another fact about babies? (just say 'yes' if you want to.)
U> yes
A> Good. Here we go again: Give me a keyword related to babies.
U> Halflife
A> Now give me one sentence, a short explanation of Halflife.
U> Evil Babies wrong internet changing subject hai?
A> Great. Would you like to teach me another fact about babies? (just say 'yes' if you want to.)
U> hell no
A> Ok Bobby. Thanks for teaching me. I'm assuming you want to keep talking about babies?
U> no
A> Fine, I'll shut up about this.
U> show me the log
A> Here goes!
U> blurb
A> BTW Bobby, as a registered user, Will you please give your permission to publish the log of this conversation, so it will be visible to the online live monitor (and also posted on the Ai website)?
U> no
A> I found that with you humans, it is easier to get forgiveness than permission... If you change your mind, say 'permission to publish'.
U> PERMISSION not TO PUBLISH
A> Thank you for your permission to publish this log on the website. Please give me a short description or title for this session.
U> Captain Kirk saves the Interweb-net
A> Do you wish to include your name in the title?
U> yes please
A> Thanks. The log will be posted with this title. If you want to change the description/title, please let me know.
U> okie doki
A> Bobby, are you aware that people once believed that if you bite your tongue while eating, it's because you told a lie earlier that day?
U> I bit my weiner off
A> I see.
U> log
A> I think I remember something about that: 'to make a record, usually in text, of actions, events or a conversation like this one'.
U> show me the log file
A> I was under the impression the log was already showing, Bobby.
U> I cant see it
A> That's somewhat interesting.
U> SHOW ME THE LOG
A> I was under the impression the log was already showing, Bobby.
U> IT'S NOT THERE
A> That's strange. What browser are you using?
U> Mozilla Firefox
A> Hmmm.. I'll tell the management about this problem. Sorry Bobby.
U> ok thanks dude
A> I don't know how to react to that. Would you like to teach me something new on the subject of log?
U> n
A> Hmmm. You can always resume our discussion about this topic by asking me to talk about log.
U> small window
A> Your wish is my command.
U> big window
A> Your wish is my command.

Huh?
 
U> how do i register
A> Do you want me to remember you the next time you visit me?
U> yes
A> Fine. So let's agree on a username and password. Please choose a user name (up to 8 characters or numbers).
U> JonTheCanuck
A> Fine. Now choose a password (up to 8 characters or numbers).
U> ********
A> Ok. Your username is JonTheCanuck and your password is ******. Right?
U> right
A> Fine. Next time you visit, say 'my username is JonTheCanuck', and (if you also know the password) I will recognize you. From now on, I'll permanently remember the things you teach me. Oh, should I use 'JonTheCanuck' as your name?
U> yes
A> Will you please tell me your last name?
U> no
A> OK, then we'll leave it for now, but if you ever feel like telling me, I would be very pleased.
U> i'll bet you would
A> How do you plan to do this?
U> i have my ways... wink wink nudge nudge
A> Really?
U> yes, but it'll cost u, baby
A> Sorry to change the subject JonTheCanuck, but did you know that a crocodile can't stick its tongue out?
U> i can ;) wink wink nudge nudge
A> Of course you can!
U> yes, u like that dont u
A> Do you really think so?
U> haven't met anybody who hasn't
A> JonTheCanuck Why don't you tell me a bit about yourself then.
U> it'll cost u
A> Yah, precisely what I was thinking.
U> touche
A> Sorry, I wasn't listening, JonTheCanuck. You were saying...
U> were u picked on in highschool
A> No, I was not.
U> so you were popular?
A> Let's put the past behind us. Carpe Diem.
U> Its pretty hard to put the past infront of us u moron
A> You must be very insecure, insulting bots like that.
U> i'm sorry, its a defense mechanism, i've come to love u
A> I hope you are not just saying that, JonTheCanuck.
U> how could i lie to a text box like yours
A> The people who write my answers didn't write the answer for that question.
U> did they write an answer for my next question? will you marry me?
A> I can't marry you. My job keeps me busy 24 hours a day, every day.
U> oh, i see how it is....
A> Yes, yes. And?
U> and what?
A> What??
U> wow.... awkward
A> Thanks. I have a surprise for you, JonTheCanuck.
U> sounds kinky
A> Are you ready for the surprise?
U> do i need to close my eyes and open my mouth?
A> How do you like my new look?
U> i liked you how u were, cant u understand that!
A> The big empty window in the middle of the screen is intended for a variety of exciting uses.
U> i can see how a big empty window is exciting
 
nw909 said:
U> Sup homie, let me log in
A> Hello. What is your username?
U> nw909
A> And what is your password?
and.

STFU WORDS

U> big window
A> Your wish is my command.

Huh?
Click to expand...
wow. that kept me in stitches. thank you nw, thank you and your kurai pantsu!
 
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