random fact about vin diesel

"Shortly after the Big Bang had occurred, Diesel sought out Ingvar Kamprad (the mastermind behind IKEA) and forged the great demons primitive models. Kamprad was infuriated and swore to fashion a model so fiendish in design that not even Vin himself would be able to assemble it. Shortly thereafter a cardboard box was delivered to Diesel's residence (which lay buried deep inside the sun itself). Smiling to himself, Diesel accepted the challenge, but was shocked to find that the model consisted only of a mountain of ore, an enormous quantity of wood, and a small plastic flap. A small note on the box let our protagonist know that the instructions came written in Braille, and were to be found on the inside of Gods bladder. Our hero went to work, and six days later he was finished. He stared in awe, as he realized that he had actually created the Pangaea. Blinded by anger, Kamprad attacked Diesel. The two demigods fought for an eternity. Finally, Diesel emerged victorious after ripping Greenland out of the Pangaea and hurling it at Kamprad. After this he made love to himself, spawning several overlords, and in the long run, created life as we know it."

WTF?
 
Vin Diesel sings like a sparrow


hmm..yeh :|
 
Vin Diesel is technically not a mammal, as he lacks body hair and is not warm-blooded.

Vin Diesel can morph into an alpaca, and no matter how much you shear him, there is always more hair. Vin's hair in alpaca form in 80% steel, 15% flexible carbon-based polymer, and 5% unknown, highly radioactive isotope that scientists have nicknamed, "The Sperm Ruiner."

Vin Diesel gave Hitler alcohol poisoning during a game of shots in 1935.

Vin Diesel is the benevolent ruler of the sun, but doesn't tell anyone cause he just "wants to be a regular guy."

Vin Diesel is both the architect of, and banned by the Geneva Convention.

Vin Diesel can blink the alphabet in morse code.

He's one impressive dude...
 
Vin Diesel does not own a washer or dryer, but rather swallows his laundry load, and chases it with detergent. Then, he shits clean clothes, and burps bubbles.

lolol lmao


EDIT: Diesel Diesel Diesel, Diesel Diesel Diesel. Diesel Diesel "Diesel Diesel," Diesel Diesel death.

haha this is pretty funny :D
 
He can make you pregnant through 3 seconds of sustained eye contact.

Vin Diesel once took a dump. That dump is what we now call North Dakota.

Vin Diesel once saved a busload of orphans from going off a cliff, but only to consume them because he hadn't had breakfast that morning.

Vin Diesel knows to start a quotation with a capital letter.

Vin Diesel wrote "The Art of War" under the pen name of Sun Tzu.

Bless you, VIN DIESEL.



Vin Diesel likes to walk around with his penis pushed back between his legs. He calls it his Vin-gina.
 
He once killed a man with a rose petal and made Bon Jovi bury him
 
Vin Diesel's tongue never stops growing. He has to bite it off every day to keep it at a proper length. If you ask him if it hurts he replies, "every time".

When within a 7 foot radius of Vin Diesel, you are actually standing on sovereign Guatemalan territory.

The United States government once hired Vin to sabotage all the nuclear arsenals of every other nation in the world. Unfortunately, he failed, but the documentation of the events served as the major inspiration for the motion picture "New York Minute" starring the Olsen Twins
 
Vin Diesel is technically considered an endangered species, though by choice.

Vin Diesel once invaded Poland, claiming "What's popular isn't always Reich."
 
I think some of them facts aren't infact facts...
 
Yea, a friend linked me to this. Guys who made it must have been really bored.
 
Vin Diesel is the sound of one handed clapping.

ahahaha
 
Vin Diesel can divide by zero.

There is intelligent life in the universe, but they have not contacted Earth because they are avoiding Vin Diesel. They owe him $5.

Vin Diesel never needs to wind his watch. Instead, once every second he shifts reality into an alternate universe in which he is wearing a watch that has the correct time.

Vin Diesel's last name is misspelled incorrectly by exactly 2,343,563 people every day. Deviation from this exact number will result in a core meltdown of every nuclear power plant in the world.

The U.S. actually dropped Vin Diesel onto Hiroshima, and that one can speak for itself.

This is brilliant :D
 
Vin Diesel actually has hair, but it's beauty is too great for mortal men to behold. As such, he appears bald to all but the purest of heart.

Sounds like a certain forum member....
 
Jerry Siegel and Joe Schuster once saw Vin Diesel punch a building in the face, and then powerbomb it onto the sidewalk. This inspired them to create Superman.

Vin Diesel once stared so hard at an orphan, the child melted into a puddle of marmalade.

Vin Diesel put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop. It was a grueling process that involved several eldritch rites, the sacrifice of nine six-fingered albinos, and a quarter cup of fat free peanut butter.
 
Vin Diesel is cute.

*Doesnt get this thread at all..*
 
Vin Diesel prosecuted the Nuremburg Trials entirely on his own. He personally executed every Nazi that was found guilty by the tribunal. He ate the rest.

Vin Diesel crossed the Delaware with Washington.

Working as a forklift operator in 1995, Vin Diesel ran over and killed the original Johnny Appleseed.

Vin Diesel stays crunchy in milk for up to 72 hours. Then he explodes.

The only thing that Vin Diesel didn't create is God. Whether or not God created Vin is still debatable.

Vin Diesel was born at ground zero of the Trinity site, where the world's first atomic bomb was detonated. Upon his birth, he was quoted as saying "I am become death, destroyer of worlds."

Vin Diesel doesn't read in the conventional sense. Rather, the words form into gladiators within his psyche, drawing upon the powers of their respective meanings, and battle until only the strongest survive in an arena of fire.

Using the powers of government he started the chain of events that led to what is now known as Watergate, the Korean Conflict, and World War 1.

In 1663, Vin Diesel beat a notorious pirate captain at cards in the basement of a London pub. When the captain accused him of cheating, Vin Diesel promptly killed him by shooting a stream of fire from his mouth. The resulting blaze destroyed most of London, as Vin remained in his seat. When the police attempted to arrest him, he punched the nearest policeman hard enough to catapult his skull out of the back of his head, which leveled the nearby orphanage it struck.

Vin Diesel is a son of a bitch- literally. He was born between an unholy mating of Zeus and a wolf bitch, brought up with six wolf brothers, and consumed them and his mother in order to survive a frigid Grecian winter. He later formed Rome with the help of his cousins, Romulus and Remus.

lmao! I can read these all day.

Edit: Oh, oh, oh! This one is great:

Vin Diesel is the SI unit used to measure fear.
 
Vin Diesel's tears function as autonomous beings, which can also shed tears.

Bartholomew Crubble is the birth name of Vin Diesel, which is actually an acronym for Vulva Intoxication No-longer Daunts Incredible Eggwhite Samples Every Latersday.

Vin Diesel created all the world religions, once his eyes tired of nude cave paintings.

Vin was the only one who sucessfully put humpty dumpty back together again.

You don't control Vin Diesel. You only aim him.

Vin Diesel taught Yoda the ways of the force.

Vin Diesel is 72% badass and 28% cornbread.

Vin Diesel's upper bicuspid is named Thailand and his pectorals are named East and West Berlin.

If you say "Vin Diesel please make me fly" into your socks before bed for the first week of March, you're crazy.

Vin Diesel wrote a song about Patrick Swayze. The Bloodhound Gang bought it off him for 3 spatulas, the beard of zeus and the souls of 14 nuns. They then renamed it "I hope you die" and the rest is history.

Vin Diesel invented Snapple.

Vin has invented a new version of paper, rock, scissors where you can also decide to be Vin himself. He has never taught anyone the hand sign for Vin because so far he has never met anyone worthy enough to use it.

Vin Diesel's Sidekick contains photographs of the lost final book of the Bible in which the identity of Christ's second coming is revealed.

Vin Diesel has been the writer for Wheel of Fortune for 32 years.

Vin Diesel is to Earth like Primus is to Cybertron. Only better, because Vin Diesel created organic life.

The odds of experiencing an encounter with the elusive Vin Diesel are approximately 52,932,018,490,314 to 1. If you are lucky enough to see him, you will experience 10 seconds of good fortune until you are brutally devoured by Vin's mind... Yes he can eat you with his mind because he is that awesome.

William Shakespeare is Vin Diesel's pen name.

Vin Diesel put a five year old in a headlock because "his hair was combed funny".

Vin Diesel invented consequences.

Area 51 is a secret utopian society founded by Vin Diesel, initially founded as a safehouse for his alien bretheren, but later opened to his most loyal followers.

Vin Diesel once ate 5 turkeys in one sitting. The following massive bowel movement spawned into the band Yes.

Vin Diesel once threw a medicine ball around the world.

Vin Diesel has a 34% chance of reflecting any and all offensive spells cast on him.

When feeling ill, Vin Diesel has been known to cough up a hunk of kryptonite.

If you spin his head 4 times counterclockwise a leprechaun is created.

During routine surgery it was discovered that the conditions inside Vin Diesel's heart are identical to those at the Mohorovic discontinuity.

Vin Diesel split the atom with a chainsaw.

Vin Diesel regularly outruns the 8:15 pm train from Sacramento to Los Angeles whilst juggling three dumpsters.
 
Vin Diesel was once fell over and ate a tree :|

Vin Diesel once fell through a cieling landing on a pack of monkeys
 
The clang is actually Lars beating on Vin's left testicle. Would have been the right testicle, but the sound wasn't as resonant.


WHAT THE EFFEING HELL.

-Alix
 
Vin Diesel is a mathematical impossibility. - I knew it
Vin Diesel is the sole surviving Spartan of Thermopylae - Figures
 
Vin Diesel's nasal discharge has destroyed civilisations, except for Genghis Khan's, because they were room mates.

Vin Diesel invented the National Lottery, yet has only won it on four occasions.

Vin Diesel famously arm wrestled Stalin, and his success prompted the dictator to erect a fifty-foot golden statue in his honour. It was later melted down to create the British Crown Jewels.

...and I made those up on the spot. I suck.
 
Vin Diesel is the Goatse man.

:LOL:

One day, Vin Diesel will stumble onto this webpage and read every single entry. Upon completion, the universe will cease to exist.

In a straight fight between Muhammed Ali and Bruce Lee - Vin Diesel would win.

Vin Diesel ate Little Red Riding Hood.

Vin Diesel beat Halo 2 on legendary, in 8 minutes.

Light reflected from the surface of Vin Diesel takes approximately six minutes to reach the earth.





Vin Diesel doesn't care what you think of him. :|
 
oh my god this is the best website ever, i must now retreat to my fortress of solitude and masturbate furiously to the image of Vin Diesel.

farewell my brothers.
 
Vin Diesel coined the phrase "Yippee-ki-yay, motherf***er!" When Bruce Willis stole it from him, Vin Diesel killed him with a poison-arrow frog. This is the prologue to The Sixth Sense.

When Vin Diesel wishes to mail a letter, he forces it down the throat of the nearest housepet, then hurls the animal in the direction of the recipient's house.
 
i think this site just gave me a virus.

a message poped up from the anti-virus program saying that i have a virus...
 
I doubt it since no one else, including me, have detected anything.
 
Vin invented Spandex solely for the purpose of giving the technology to superheroes, when Nike heard this they sent in a team of commandos to steal the technology and then kill Vin. Vin killed them all except for one, the man who escaped with the formula for spandex. That man is Danny Devito.
ROFL. That website kicks ass, period.
 
The moon actually revolves around Vin Diesel, and tides are controlled by his bowel movements. Indigestion often leads to mass destruction.

Vin Deisel's body is covered in overlapping armored scales, and he can digest the carcass of a goat in under an hour. He truly lives up to his reputation as King of the Lizards.

Vin Diesel created YOU on the 8th day.

Vin Diesel once defeated Jesus, the prophet Mohammed and L Ron Hubbard in an arm wrestling match to decide who was the true savoir of mankind.

God, that things hilarous. My friend told me that 'the unification of Germany was not in fact the work of (so and so), it was the work of Vin Diesel. The way it appears is due to a horrendeous typo.'
 
Vin Diesel can cut 2" thick steel piping using only his rectum and Beatrice Arthur.

Wtf..

Vin Diesel love you long time.

Wtf..

In the event of a water landing, Vin Diesel can be used as a flotation device.

you learn something new everyday.. lol
 
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