Sexy Delay Theories

[i8yourparents]

mmmm....sexillent

anyways, consider this:

1. there are two "o"'s in the word "rooster"
2. 25% of all potatoes farmed in the US go directly to mcdonalds for french fries
3. I had a bagel a short while ago
4. More people die from getting kicked by horses than getting swallowed by llamas

Therefore, the 17 years after this lunar cycle will be on a saturday

I rest my case...

wow...i didn't even mention half-life or valve or benchmarks....

wow...

what are your sexy theories?

Rules:

1. You cannot mention valve, half-life, or benchmarks in you theories
2. None of your reasons can have any correlation with each other
3. You cannot mention anything from previous posts
4. And most of all, each theory has to have a sexy factor of 17

 

[Athlon7]

Steam - Geothermic steam.

 

[GinSlinger]

I put forth for your consideration:

Anna Kornikova. Ummm...she was recently 17.

That's all I got.

Thank you for your time.

 

[StooMonster]

Fact: more americans are killed by their toilets each year, than have ever died in shark attacks.

Give a new meaning to the term "great white".

StooMonster

 

[azz0r]

Gabe slipped his hand eroticly, and slowly round the monitor...

oh right...

 

[richpull]

It all adds up, think about it:

Its a cloudy day, less likely that sunrays will penetrate the earths crust
I have been going out with one girl for 18 months (17+1)
My colleges chalkboards are brown, not green or black....
It all combines when you really think about it.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Because I once poked gabe
and now he wants revenge

 

[zarloq]

1. Sexy is a sexy does, at least 17 times a day
2. Too much meat tends to loaf
3. Grumpy youngsters with crowbars masterbate
4. Sun spots cause bits to flip causing computers to crash causing
Sun to blame defective chips.
5. BBC Radio 1 plays sexy starletts

 

[i8yourparents]

Masturbation a day keeps the herpes away

I'll bet the french had something to do with this...
those bastards...

9 out of 10 people have said they have had sex with flesh-eating bacteria before

Therefore, 10-17=thursday

 

[i8yourparents]

in order to make this thread about 114.17 times more awesome, i have decided to make a question-answer dealie.

Rules:
1. you have to answer the previous question with an answer
2. that answer better be awesome or else...
3. you have to ask a new question in the same post
4. that question better be awesome or else...

example:


Bob: Q: What is the meaning of life?

Suzy: A: To laugh at bums
Q: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie-pop?


so...

Q: How do you climb a ladder while carrying 50+ puonds of guns, while holding a crowbar and masturbating all at the same time?

 

[Fiddle]

Put the guns down your pants, stick your dick in the end of the bazooks, hold the crowbar in your left hand, climb with your right, while doing the pelvic thrust at a medium to fast speed.

Question
How many midgets could you fit inside gabe if you hollowed him out completly.
*NOTE* u can cut up the midgets

 

[-JeZ-]

A: Seven. One in each limb and three in the torso.

Q: If you could only walk on water (no swimming!), what would you do if you were walking on the ocean and you saw sharks?

 

[jimbones]

A: I'd kick their asses (or aftfins?) for the delay!

 

[Fiddle]

A: Grab onto those fins on their back n be dragged around by em! make em mah bitches..

Q What would you do if u met a blind deaf parapalegic mute man?

(personally i'd hold him under water for random amounts of time, and hit his fingers with a hammer)

 

[TheRook]

Originally posted by -JeZ-
A: Seven. One in each limb and three in the torso.

Q: If you could only walk on water (no swimming!), what would you do if you were walking on the ocean and you saw sharks?

i would point and laugh at them as i walk by...
because sharks are excellent swimmers...
and as you said you could only walk on water (no swimming) i would have no fear of them swimming after me...



TheRook
(you never said only i could walk on water... next time you will make your questions more explicit...)

:dozey:

 

[TheRook]

*quote* Q What would you do if u met a blind deaf parapalegic mute man? *quote*

well i would not be able to meet him as in order to meet somebody you generally have to greet them... and as he cant hear see or talk i have no way of greeting him...

so um... i will never meet him

TheRook

 

[i8yourparents]

A: You know rook, your are supposed to ask another question

Q: If you smoked a doobie every day until hl2 was released, how high would you get?

 

[Woggy]

h = (w*a)*d+HL^2

high = (weight * amount of doobies) * days + Half-Life induced Highness ^ to 2 (because its a sequel)

so if ...
weight = 10 grams
amount each day = 1
day = 20
HL = 2000

then h = (10*1)*20+2000^2
higness = 4,000,200hNs (highness Scale)
A value of 0 is normal state, negative numbers means depressed.
A value of 4 million is very, very high.


If a tree fell in a forest while no one is around, will baby jesus cry? Why?

 

[Lee_H_Oswald]

If no one is around then babay jesus wouldnt know therefore he wouldnt cry.if he was there he would only cry if it fell on him.


Does your mother cry out when u mount her from behind?

 

[TSquare]

A: Only when I pull her back up to my chest and don't let her rest on her elbows.

Q: What ratio of 'grossed out : slightly turned on' does this reply give you?

 

[Fraxture]

It is mainly due to the fact that I am actually an artificial intelligence trapped in a world conjured by my creators to keep me in an illusion that I am a mortal man being hounded by men in black so as to substantiate the charade of my true existance as the only Fuzzy Logic system in existance and hard wired into the world.

They crack the whip and we step in time. The soul has no eyes. Being true is false. All that matters now is that cows like to chew on rubber bumpers in the middle of the month of aquarius in a room filled with antwerps.

DANGER! DANGER! BUFFER OVERLOAD!!!!!

 

[synergy]

funniest thread ever! i have no questions. thank you for your time.

 

[PvtRyan]

Originally posted by TSquare
A: Only when I pull her back up to my chest and don't let her rest on her elbows.

Q: What ratio of 'grossed out : slightly turned on' does this reply give you?

A: Monkey minus hamburger, which equels 1:17, coincidence? I think NOT!

Q: how drunk would you get by eating a hippo who was just fed 20 bottles of Wodka?

 

[Entr0py]

there are more than 17 posts on halflife2.net which is hoggin bandwidth

 

[coolUK007]

Originally posted by PvtRyan
A: Monkey minus hamburger, which equels 1:17, coincidence? I think NOT!

Q: how drunk would you get by eating a hippo who was just fed 20 bottles of Wodka?

A: Not very drunk as there is no such drink as Wodka. Although if you ate a hippo which had drunk 20 bottles of Vodka you would get as drunk as President Bush in his Pre-Evangelical Not teetotal days.

Q: If the people who leaked the GAME turned out to gorgeous buxome femme fatales and there were 5 of them and if you were given 17 minutes alone with them... what would you do?


(I would personally report them to the makers and the FBI..)

(sexy factor 17 )

 

[jimbones]

very very very sexy theory ... but kinda disturbing the same way .. urg..