Slit

[oldagerocker]

I'm sittin at the lan
eating really poor food
i havent had a shower for days
Just havent been in the mood.


bah. screw my poetry career

 

[<RJMC>]

I will try to make poetry too

is called....the 1337 H4x0r

Im 4M teh H4x0r
4nD I 0wwN j00
kuZ wHiT My 1337 ZkIlls
I 4nD G0dz0R

lol

 

[Teh_Poet]

What do you mean, you're asking about the poetry, not the topic? Poetry is the topic. You can use big words and make good rhymes, but the main thing that draws in readers is the subject.

What I mean is I know that the subject of suicide is cliched, I started this thread to ask about odd phrases, out of place words, stuff like that. Yeah, poetry is the topic, but the topic isn't poetry.

 

[DarkStar]

What do you mean, you're asking about the poetry, not the topic? Poetry is the topic. You can use big words and make good rhymes, but the main thing that draws in readers is the subject.

I disagree completely.

Poetry is PURELY about the words. It's not the topic at all.

You can write a poem about ANY topic and as long as the language is used in unique and interesting ways it takes on life of it's own. That's what seperates it from prose, short stories and other kinds of writing. To say that poetry is about subject and not about language is absolutely insane.

 

[Hazar]

It's excellent poetry, but honestly it's really, really cliche.

I put teh balde 2 my rist
wat if i dye 2nite
wud u even kare
i c a twist
in teh wurld
somtims i flsh teh tolet
flush mye life liek poo
moo

rofl

write more!!!

 

[Teh_Poet]

I disagree completely.

Poetry is PURELY about the words. It's not the topic at all.

You can write a poem about ANY topic and as long as the language is used in unique and interesting ways it takes on life of it's own. That's what seperates it from prose, short stories and other kinds of writing. To say that poetry is about subject and not about language is absolutely insane.

Quoted for truth.

 

[Goo3y]

Beautiful :'(

 

[Zeus]

Very nice....and very sad

 

[Darkknighttt]

wow good job!!!!! this poem did really make me sad, and i guess that's what your aiming for.

 

[TheUnkillableDot]

Why does poetry have to be so depressing?

Make one about bunnys!!!!1!!1

 

[Teh_Poet]

Why does poetry have to be so depressing?

I explained this earlier in the thread.

 

[Ennui]

As far as poetry goes, disregarding topic, I think it's excellent.

 

[Teh_Poet]

As far as poetry goes, disregarding topic, I think it's excellent.

I'm working on my poetry, I know that the topic is very cliched. I have another poem (Rain on the Window) which is a little different. Search the forum, you should find it there.

 

[Teh_Poet]

What do you guys thing about taking away the fourth verse? Like


She looks outside the window,
She thinks that she’s alone.
Blind of the one
Who loves her,
His adulation unknown.

She lies down on her bed,
She thinks that it’s a waste.
Not knowing that
She means so much.
In her lies she’s been encased.

He’s dying to let her know,
His love for her arcane.
She doesn’t know he needs her,
She decides
To end her pain.

But now she’s gone forever,
He’s in a world of pain.
He wants to see her
One last time,
She was his blessing and his bane.

 

[Tantalus]

There is a little problem with the 2nd verse, but I think that I sounds much better after removing that one verse.