So whenver I piss I get a sudden burst of energy...

You could always stick a super absorbent cotton swab up there.
 
Deadpan said:
Oh God, I forgot about that. I HATE the last drop. You try to get it all out, and then as soon as you put it back in your pants, there's always at least one more.
Click to expand...

QFT. I got so annoyed when I was younger that I just shake my penis around for like a minute now, waiting until it comes out.
 
I heard if you pee in the pool, you get the pool all to yourself.
 
I don't really get an energy boost at all, except to get the urine out of my bladder as fast as possible.
You ever have one of those sore pisses? Where it comes out of your dick so fast that it sort of rug burns your dick hole and it hurts for a second?

Anyways, pisses in the morning are the best, you feel so relieved and ready to take on the f*cking world.
Unless it's one of those pisses where it splits off into 83 directions and you end up squeezing your cock and trying to adjust the fore skin or whatever to straighten the bitch out but by the time you fix it, the damage is already done. :|
 
xlucidx said:
You ever have one of those sore pisses? Where it comes out of your dick so fast that it sort of rug burns your dick hole and it hurts for a second?

-

Unless it's one of those pisses where it splits off into 83 directions and you end up squeezing your cock and trying to adjust the fore skin or whatever to straighten the bitch out but by the time you fix it, the damage is already done. :|
Click to expand...

no, that's weird. what are you a ****ing mutant? just pee normally, stop messing around with your penis.
 
xlucidx said:
I don't really get an energy boost at all, except to get the urine out of my bladder as fast as possible.
You ever have one of those sore pisses? Where it comes out of your dick so fast that it sort of rug burns your dick hole and it hurts for a second?
Click to expand...

Yes, a while ago I had a local operation on my penis to make it smaller when erect. For a few days I was urinating blood with intense pain. It was like the devil was probing my cock with a blow torch.

If you regularly feel pain while urinating you should seek medical advice asap.
 
Baserape> said:
Yes, a while ago I had a local operation on my penis to make it smaller when erect. For a few days I was urinating blood with intense pain. It was like the devil was probing my cock with a blow torch.

If you regularly feel pain while urinating you should seek medical advice asap.
Click to expand...

It's not agonizing pain, it just makes your dick sore.
You know, working outside in 100 degree weather for about 6/8 hours and then you need to take a piss.
It burns a little, like you're forcing the piss out of your dick up to the point that it's like a high powered fire hose.
 
chain... FAILED

I hate it when I have an erection and i have to sit down to poop, so you allways end up peeing out of the toilet through the little hole between the toilet and the seat. It's friggin' annoying becasue you have to jam it down in there, but if you do, you can't pee, but I can't stand up because i have to poop!
 
Why would you have an erection when you have to poop?
 
Lizardizzle said:
chain... FAILED

I hate it when I have an erection and i have to sit down to poop, so you allways end up peeing out of the toilet through the little hole between the toilet and the seat. It's friggin' annoying becasue you have to jam it down in there, but if you do, you can't pee, but I can't stand up because i have to poop!
Click to expand...
wow, I hate that..
 
Lizardizzle said:
chain... FAILED

I hate it when I have an erection and i have to sit down to poop, so you allways end up peeing out of the toilet through the little hole between the toilet and the seat. It's friggin' annoying becasue you have to jam it down in there, but if you do, you can't pee, but I can't stand up because i have to poop!
Click to expand...

Wouldn't that cause some sort of catastrophic bodily implosion? Or explosion? Or.. both?

Poop, pee, and a raging hardon? That's the trifecta of bad timing, eh?
 
I just pee when I poop, it's how my body does it's stuff, and that rant rings so strue to me.
 
I get energy when i dont piss. Seriously, try not to piss for a few days and you will see how you will jump around the house doing the most craziest things known to man.
 
In this thread, the hl2.net girls go D:
 
Yeah what the hell.

Someone explain pooping with erections to me.

Who does this?
 
Maybe you see a chick so ugly your dick shots out turns around and goes the other way?
 
Phobie said:
Yeah what the hell.

Someone explain pooping with erections to me.

Who does this?
Click to expand...

Someone who has to take a crap really bad and can't wait for the erection to go away? I dunno.

I tried once, but it wouldn't fit while sitting down (small bowl) so I would've had to poop with it sticking way up in the air, which was not an option because I had to piss at the same time.
So I had to stand up to piss first (which gets rid of erection fairly quickly) and then sit down and take a crap. I was disappointed >:\
 
I would just beat off real quickly and then take a shit.
 
I used to have a bit o' penis envy, until this thread. It sounds so very complicated. And painful.

(But, secretly, I still want to write my name in the snow... without getting yellow socks)
 
We're talking about rare cases here though. I'd take an out of control penis over a bleeding vagina any day.
 
Out of control penis every day over a bleeding vagina every month...
Yeah i'd go for the Out-of-control penis
 
Out-of-control penis? Is it going to destroy Tokyo or something?

Pooping with an erection? Don't. There is no scenario in which that ends well.
 
When I get erect my penis goes almost vertical...urinating with a boner is almost impossible without spraying everywhere. Tried it once and hit the ceiling, never did it again. Now I just have to wait for it to go away...Think unhappy thoughts.
 
Sometimes when mine does the vertical think I give a slight push and the piss arches just enough to land in the toilet bowl without getting everywhere. Hard to master, but totally worth learning.
 
MiccyNarc said:
When I get erect my penis goes almost vertical...urinating with a boner is almost impossible without spraying everywhere. Tried it once and hit the ceiling, never did it again.
Click to expand...
Let me get this straight.. You actually tried to arc it in while shooting straight up? Damn.
 
MiccyNarc said:
When I get erect my penis goes almost vertical...urinating with a boner is almost impossible without spraying everywhere. Tried it once and hit the ceiling, never did it again. Now I just have to wait for it to go away...Think unhappy thoughts.
Click to expand...

I used to work mornings with my girlfriend (at the time), and we'd sit out in her car early in the morning before the sun comes up, and talk and be promiscuous.

So then it was time to go clock in for the day, and I'd have the morning hornies, and I'd be kinda stiff. I didn't want to walk through the building like this. She suggested I keep thinking, 'Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies', in order to make my dick limp again. It only made it harder.

:devil:
 
That's because you're a sick ****.
 
I joke. It didn't make it go down though, and walking with a slight erection aroused it further from the frictions.
 
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