some tosser broke into my house

[mchammer75040]

Well thats just retarded. Anyways good luck man catching the perp, but seriously look into the gardener...hell he would know when you were home or not..

 

[Rizzo]

Who the hell has a gardener?

 

[highlander]

well, that ****ing sucks.

 

[Robert-]

That sucks, man.
Our house got broken into and they stole 2 of my dad's custom guitars (roughly $7000 put into them) and his laptop.

 

[blackout]

may his teeth hurt

 

[Asknoone]

It was Clint.

 

[Raziaar]

I'm afraid of somebody breaking into our home. I'm here ALL THE TIME. If somebody breaks in and they want to do anything other than just run away after realizing somebody is home... I'm ****ed. I mean I could fight yeah, but I don't want to be shot or stabbed.

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Book me a flight and I'll come there and rape him in the dick.

 

[blackout]

oh yeah I forgot to say, some tosser(s) broke into my holiday home in spain, they stole my friend's camera, my ipod, my phone and messed up the place.

mutherf***ing gipsies.

anyway may his hair fade away.

 

[Vegeta897]

Holiday home in Spain?

First gardeners, now this, are you all rich?

 

[Raziaar]

mutherf***ing gipsies.

Racist!

 

[mchammer75040]

I drive a benz.

 

[blackout]

Holiday home in Spain?

First gardeners, now this, are you all rich?

dunno about the OP but I'm not particularly rich (tis'a small house)

Racist!

how exactly???

 

[G(ordon)-man]

Gypsy? Don't make me make the "feed me gypsies" pic....

Bad that you got stolen tho.

 

[blackout]

may he be soaked in something sticky

 

[Eejit]

Most of us could afford a gardener if we lived in a 3rd world country...

My girlfriend's family has a cook a cleaner and a driver and they're only 'quite well off'.

 

[G(ordon)-man]

may this hobo die from syphylis.

may a thousand tiny tweasers destroy whatever genetalias he has left.

may he simmer in acid.

may he drown in a vat of crap.

May snarks infest his pubic hairs for the rest of time.

may his teeth hurt

may his hair fade away.

may he be soaked in something sticky

You are starting to scare me.....

 

[blackout]

may his lungs fill with bees and his, liver fill with eggnog.

 

[Raziaar]

how exactly???

Depends on how you're using the word Gypsy.

Antiziganism man!

 

[blackout]

may his mother rape his face

 

[Raziaar]

May your post count go up.

 

[blackout]

may his head fall off at an akward moment, and may something slightly unplesant happen to him like an onion falling on his head.

 

[Raziaar]

Is that really what you're going to keep going? Responding with something like that once there's a new reply in the thread?

 

[ajezard]

I know what you should do, put out lots of bait, such as a psp by the window easily findable gadgets laying around ect. and make it look like your out by turning out the lights and locking the doors, hide and then wait for him to strike, when he does, beat him with a bat n lock him in a cupboard, give him some spoons to keep him quiete, then call the police!

 

[nurizeko]

may he die in fire.

so, i left home on the sunday to go to granmas for christmas. we arrive late that day, and all is good. next morning the gardener calls, "bwana, someone has broken in"

FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

anyway turns out he jumped the wall (we're gonna put broken glass under it now, get the bastard if he pulls that shit again.) fed my two dogs with biscuits. (useless dogs, one only has 3 legs)

smashed the padlock and slipped through the gate. spent the whole night in our house, drank the milk, ate yoghurt in the bathroom.....and went through every single room/cupboard/everything, turned th whole place upside down, what a ****ing mess.

he took: my laptop(im in a friends house), $300 my dad gave me, a backpack,
2 pairs of scissors, a hair shaver, some teaspoons(they always steal spoons here, weird ****ers,) a backpack, my xbox (original, didnt work properly anyway) my air rifle, and he drank 5 litres of white wine from what we can see, a teddy bear, and a fondue set.

so i conclude that he was a complete wanker and should die in fire. that is all.

also we dont tell the police here, its just not worth it. they just cause more problems,
and they never catch anyone anyway.

Bummer.

 

[McGooTheWise]

Bummer.

.remmuB

Seriously though, what a twat. You should teach your dogs to rip off people testicles if they break in. Though, they probably won't get anything off this guy, at least.

That really sucks though, dude. I will never understand why people think they can jack something that isn't theirs. If you didn't earn it, leave it the **** alone. Just cause you can doesn't mean you should. Just because it might be good for you doesn't mean it's a good thing to do... You should have done something with your life and stayed off the pipe. :angry:

/rant

 

[blackout]

Is that really what you're going to keep going? Responding with something like that once there's a new reply in the thread?

no, I've just decided to shut up, I'm running out of Ideas,
observe ::small arrow pointing downwards::

may his head fall off at an akward moment, and may something slightly unplesant happen to him like an onion falling on his head.

both of these are copied from blackadder.

 

[Creme Egg]

What a jerk, lets hope he trips and falls on an inconveniently placed spanner. And then gets shot.

 

[G(ordon)-man]

I just read this as "Gets shot. With a creme egg"

 

[Creme Egg]

Wow, that is remarkably wierd, dunno what would help, try refreshing the page.

 

[mechanicallizard]

so, first id like to thank all of you who wished death by violent means/creme egg upon this man/she-devil.

but seriously, the police here are shit. when you call them, you actually have to go and pick them
up from the police station. needless to say, we didnt call them.

on the plus side, we found the scissors! turned out they fell down the side of the chair.
but now we cant find the cake icing set.......we've looked everywhere. (even the side of the chair)
what a wanker. we're not gonna get anything back. as mentioned before though, im
just glad no-one was there.

some-one tried this shit about 5 months ago though. we were woken to find some guy trying to take the laptop through the window with a spade. i shot him in the face with a paintball gun and he
****ed off double time though. we reckon its him again, but i never saw his face. (it was 4 in the morning)

so, again, i say, DIE IN FIRE/ACID/YOGURT/GIANT CREME EGG YOU F***ER
(and may willie rape you in the dick)

 

[Azner]

Clever bugger

 

[Solaris]

.remmuB

Seriously though, what a twat. You should teach your dogs to rip off people testicles if they break in. Though, they probably won't get anything off this guy, at least.

That really sucks though, dude. I will never understand why people think they can jack something that isn't theirs. If you didn't earn it, leave it the **** alone. Just cause you can doesn't mean you should. Just because it might be good for you doesn't mean it's a good thing to do... You should have done something with your life and stayed off the pipe. :angry:

/rant

I imagine in Zambia a lot of people are brought up in abject poverty and so anyone who can afford to power an xbox, let alone own one, becomes a legimate target for thievery.

 

[2Fast4U]

lmao. I'm wondering how he even made it back out with 5 l of alchohol in his system.

Maybe... there were more than one person commiting the crime!

*Lights a pipe and puts on a deerstalker cap*

 

[Azner]

Maybe... there were more than one person commiting the crime!

*Lights a pipe and puts on a deerstalker cap*

Ah Yes
Elementary my dear wats-****COCKSHITBALLS

willie

 

[Tollbooth Willie]

Someone summon me?

 

[Gray Fox]

Wait if he spent the whole night in your house, he must have not been afraid of you coming back anytime soon, which means he knew you were out for a while.

 

[Emporius]

It was clearly the butler in the courtyard with the biscuits.

 

[nurizeko]

Maybe it was a family friend or relation who isn't as well to do as yours is?.

I imagine in Zambia a lot of people are brought up in abject poverty and so anyone who can afford to power an xbox, let alone own one, becomes a legitimate target for thievery.

This.

Sorry to say man, but your basically living the middle-class western lifestyle in the middle of Africa, which, to my knowledge, is a continent rife with poverty and people who think having a mud-hut is fortunate.

Okay, maybe I am exaggerating, not everywhere is riddled with mud-huts, but lets just say money isn't something exactly in surplus around the majority of the population.

Your best bet is to fortify your home, I mean iron bars on the windows, tough locked doors, toughened glass, high walls with barbed wire/spikes. In a country with such rampant poverty and such a massive wealth divide, your home should be treated like the thief magnet it is.

 

[G(ordon)-man]

You need a gun.