Startlingly Idiotic Oblivion Review

[Narcolepsy]

Here are some tidbits:

To me, Oblivion is on par with The Sims, only Oblvion has more fighting.

...what?

The Elder Scrolls series is known for putting you in a world that is massive and completely open-ended, resulting in play time that could very possibly reach the triple digits in hours played.

Unfortunately, it’s for this very reason that Oblivion is such a poor game – it’s just too overwhelming.

So if these are negative qualities to him, I wonder what games he likes?

‘Fable’ impressed me to no end and I actually think that that was one of the strongest games for the original Xbox. Fable itself is open-ended, but there’s still some semblance of order in it, with a beginning middle and end somewhat laid out for you. It successfully tells a story.

Oh.

You could read page after page after page after page from books you find in towns and castles, hearing the stories of an endless amount of people and never even scratch the surface of what’s going on within Oblivion and the cities scattered throughout it. Other players told me that I definitely didn’t have to read any of these books in the game and in fact, they never did. So my question is – why include so many of them?

I would have stopped reading here if it weren't so outrageously funny. He goes on to use the "If me and my friends aren't going to use a feature, why include it?" argument against everything from alchemy to player houses.

Satire is such a pointless enterprise when gold like this is published to the internet every day.
http://wham.canoe.ca/360/2006/04/10/1528217.html

 

[Dog--]

That guy is a prick.

 

[VirusType2]

Why allow bones and cups to be picked up at will when they seemingly serve no purpose?

To be honest, he is making me want to play this game so much.

I want to start a new game in the prison and punch that cup off the table, and punch the shackles hanging from the ceiling, amazed at the physics, while practicing my hand-to-hand moves.


He doesn't like the game. :shrug: Sucks to be him.

Everyone has an opinion, and he is entitled to one. Here is mine: Oblivion is the best.

 

[99.vikram]

I agree to a small extent.
I felt completely lost halfway through the game.

But the game was incredible, all said and done.

 

[Jintor]

Physics was a big help.

But the whole point of putting somthing in is so that not everybody will have the same, identicle, experience.

 

[JNightshade]

Well, what can I say? That guy is retarded.

 

[Darkwolf]

I found that if I ever didn't know what to do, I just went dungeon crawling, through the hundreds of caves and Alyied ruins and the forts and so on. Eventually (after getting thousands worth of loot) I would find a quest in some town somewhere, and go and do it. For this reason I really, really enjoyed it and I'm still playing. (with 60 hours so far) The only games that have compared to it (in play time) for me are Morrowind, (easily 200 hours) Battlefield 2, JK3... the KOTORs but yeah...

This huy is hilarious... I wonder if he does standup...

 

[hungryduck]

this kinda makes me want to install it again....

 

[Steven]

.

To me, Oblivion is on par with The Sims, only Oblvion has more fighting.

 

[Kyorisu]

But back to the complaints. Sure, a six or eight hour game may not be very much nowadays, but why would anyone want to play something for 60 or 80 hours or more? And as much as some people enjoy this game, how many of them do play a single-player game like Oblivion for that long?

Ah that made me laugh. Hop on a final fantasy website and look at some of those peoples play hours, they rank up in the hundreds and thats a single player game.

Sure you may not like something in a video game that doesn't mean everyone else will too.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Oh dear.

I can see where he's coming from, but that 'I don't know which way to go lawlz' problem only really bothers me in games that are supposed to be linear. If I know a game's linear, and I see two paths, then I know that one of them's the way forward and one of them's a little side-path and I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE HELP ME I DON'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING. But that's not the game. It's me.

That boy needs therapy!

 

[Unfocused]

What a retard.

If I know a game's linear, and I see two paths, then I know that one of them's the way forward and one of them's a little side-path and I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE HELP ME I DON'T WANT TO MISS ANYTHING.

Haha, exactly.

"So shall I proceed down the corridor or go up that ladder?... OK, let's go with the ladder *level loading* AArgh! *waits for level to load, quickloads, waits for the previous level to load* Let's see what's behind the door at the end of the corridor then *25% medkit in a box and I'm full on health* Duh."

 

[Narcolepsy]

Haha, exactly.

"So shall I proceed down the corridor or go up that ladder?... OK, let's go with the ladder *level loading* AArgh! *waits for level to load, quickloads, waits for the previous level to load* Let's see what's behind the door at the end of the corridor then *25% medkit in a box and I'm full on health* Duh."

I am not alone in this world.

 

[Krynn72]

I think i speak for many when I ask:

People are still making reviews for this game?

 

[Narcolepsy]

I think i speak for many when I ask:

People are still making reviews for this game?

What exactly do you mean by that? In a perfect world, people would wait until they put 100-200 hours into Oblivion before reviewing it, since that's the play time they're advertising.

With that said, this isn't a new review... it's one I just recently found and it amused me greatly.

 

[Jintor]

I would feel perfectly justified making a review for San Andreas or Psychonauts, because owning it for a couple of months is exactly what is needed to make sure I don't get bored of it or whatever.

 

[Snappel328]

Hell I've played Olivion almost halfway through the main quest and I stil don't think I could write a review of it

 

[Citadel]

I think Oblivion was one of the best RPGs ever created and "TOO OVERWHELMING" as you say what does he like lol and they included so many books to give gamers who have brains a reason to delve deeper into Oblivion and I will bew honest I find fable god darn awful and Oblivion its great twin, a godsend. And on par with the sims, how exactly lol. I don't think he even played the game, I think he had heard about it and how brilliant it was and was jealous and so wrote a bad review lol.

 

[teh roxxors]

Funny thing, all the glowing reviews written by guys who could not have put more than a few hours into the game, not nearly enough to develop an informed opinion. When a magazine or web site pumps out a review days after release, that review is worthless.

No reviewer mentions the quest bugs, which reveals how little time they spent with the product. No one points out that the system requirements fall far, far short of what is needed to experience the game with any reasonable level of performance. Bethesda did a shoddy job porting the game to PC; Oblivion is meant to run on a rig with three processors -- anything less yields an experience far short of the hype.