Stern's Holy Shit thread of the day: Half Man Half Tree

I was about to congratulate everyone on making it to the third page of this thread without mentioning a 'got wood' joke, but then I saw ...
The Monkey said:
I wonder of that guy gets morning wood.
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Well done monkey, well done.
 
Those hands.............. I feel bad for him.

I think it is nasty and sad when you realize that those are warts, not sweet tree root things or something.

I don't mean to judge of course.

I feel so bad that his wife left him and that he has to raise his kids by himself.
 
That's so awesome.

Kinda gross though considering they're basically massive warts.
 
zombieturtle01 said:
I feel so bad that his wife left him and that he has to raise his kids by himself.
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According to the video report, the kids live at some relatives (they're 16 and 18). The poor guy has trouble doing most household tasks, and you see that he has similar growths on his feet. I hope they're able to drastically improve things for him. It's difficult to not be repulsed in a horrible Elephant Man style mix of pity and morbid fascination...
 
Hroom, hm, come, my friends. The Ents are going to war. It is likely that we go to our doom. The last march of the Ents.
 
There will never be another thread like this. No holy shit thread will ever be better than this.
 
Darkwolf said:
Hroom, hm, come, my friends. The Ents are going to war. It is likely that we go to our doom. The last march of the Ents.
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Wonder what'd happen if you said that to him.

For certain we'd find whether his bark's worse than his bite...
 
My God, it's just at disturbing the second time you see it.

Why did I come back into this thread? I knew what was waiting for me... and I just ate ;(
 
OMG that's incredible.

I hope he got paid for appearing on the Discovery Channel.
 
Guys, the source says those growths are actually gigantic herpes warts.

gigantic.herpes.warts.

D:
 
HOLY SHIT! That is kinda cool/nasty all at the same time.
 
OMG, wouldn't want to run into a lumberjack

:naughty: "TIIIMMMBERRRRR!"
 
Damn... why doesn't he try to just hack some of those big ones off, I mean I think his fingers stop well before the end of the "branch", probably would hurt pretty bad, but lifting weights all day isn't any way to live. I hope he can get some cure.
Partially off-topic:
When I was in Lisbon this last summer I remember seeing this guy that looked like he had a giant steak attached to his face, I honestly didn't know it was his face since I'd never seen anything like it before. This growth was huge though, I'm pretty sure the guy couldn't see. Well anyways I'll try to digg it up to see what you guys think.
Edit*
Apparently this guy from Lisbon was also on discovery channel, I'm actually kind of surprised, here's the link and a picture, sorry for jacking this thread a little I just have an urge to show you guys what I saw in person (it kind of scared me, I considered going vegetarian after seeing him to be honest).

Lisbon Guy
5005872731751951_Jose-with-sister-Guida-380x.jpg
 
he need not worry bout mosquitoes, but termites... thats a different story
 
That is really scary.

And the scariest thing is: I can't stop wondering what his cock looks like.
 
Man, it would be so ****ing sweet to just take a razor and slice all of those off. When I was little I had warts on my feet, so I took a nail clipper and cut them right out. It hurt like crazy, but it was the most satisfying thing I have ever done. In the end they were like little white oniony things. Cutting out these growths would be like 10000x as satisfying.
 
Dan said:
Man, it would be so ****ing sweet to just take a razor and slice all of those off. When I was little I had warts on my feet, so I took a nail clipper and cut them right out. It hurt like crazy, but it was the most satisfying thing I have ever done. In the end they were like little white oniony things. Cutting out these growths would be like 10000x as satisfying.
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Are you a massochist..?
 
no, I just hate having anything that isn't a part of me attached to my body. I don't even feel comfortable wearing a watch or any jewelery.
 
Dan said:
no, I just hate having anything that isn't a part of me attached to my body. I don't even feel comfortable wearing a watch or any jewelery.
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Omgz! How do you have sex??
 
Dan said:
...with my penis
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Was more of a question asking how you can complain about having something foreign touching your skin/attached to you, and yet still put up with sex, the most intimate and contact-orientated task a human can do? (Except for what that dude did to a tree...)
 
Druckles said:
Was more of a question asking how you can complain about having something foreign touching your skin/attached to you, and yet still put up with sex, the most intimate and contact-orientated task a human can do? (Except for what that dude did to a tree...)
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So, you are saying that having intercourse is like having warts?? Unless you are talking about marriage and long term relationships, having sex has nothing to do with stuff being attached to you. That is the worst analogy ever.
 
Dan said:
So, you are saying that having intercourse is like having warts?? Unless you are talking about marriage and long term relationships, having sex has nothing to do with stuff being attached to you. That is the worst analogy ever.
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Ok, maybe not having sex. But similarly, a watch is nothing like having warts. Lying next to another girl in bed has more physical contact than wearing a watch, wearing a watch is more necessary, and yet you said you don't like wearing watches...
 
Druckles said:
Ok, maybe not having sex. But similarly, a watch is nothing like having warts. Lying next to another girl in bed has more physical contact than wearing a watch, wearing a watch is more necessary, and yet you said you don't like wearing watches...
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Except a girl isn't strapped to you all day long, at least not physically.
 
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