Subject: Shephard

DeusExMachina

DeusExMachina

Tank
Joined
Nov 23, 2004
Messages
6,938
Reaction score
3
SUBJECT: SHEPHARD

STATUS: DETAINED

FURTHER EVALUATION PENDING




Chapter 1: Liberation
The osprey continued its endless trek into the unknown as Adrian Shephard sat stranded inside. Time was of no concern anymore because…he didn’t know anything about it anymore. His watch appeared to be glitched as it would show random numbers every 5 seconds. Occasionally, he’d glance at it to see if it had changed to no avail. He didn’t have much hope for himself and for the situation he was in. It looked like this was his eternal home.
He laid on the bench with his helmet off and stared at the ceiling of the osprey, remembering the events at Black Mesa and what were most definitely the worst hours of his life. Ever. Nothing could ever measure up to what he had experienced there. Adrian almost half laughed. He always wondered why some soldiers would come home with Post Traumatic Stress, battle fatigue, shell shock, what have you. It was because of missions like this, missions that required all your senses, all your knowledge, all your skills, everything…these were what made you crazy.
The rest of the…time went on like that. He was feeling extremely hungry. Adrian sighed heavily and leaned back onto the bench. He was all alone. But, thanks to his time at Black Mesa, being alone really didn’t bother him much anymore. Actually…didn’t bother him at all. Black Mesa changed him; his ideas, his beliefs…his way of life. Maybe the mysterious man in the blue suit was doing him a favor. He surely couldn’t live a normal life after the Black Mesa incident. Strange thoughts were beginning to enter his head. Adrian was beginning to wish he had a gun. Didn’t matter how much ammo it had. He’d only need one bullet…
Hours…or what seemed like hours…passed by. Every minute that passed by, Adrian became more and more aggravated. The door to the cockpit was locked tight and all his attempts to open it had failed. He looked out the door again and suddenly; an idea formed in his mind, though, an incredibly crazy one.
Adrian maneuvered on top of the osprey and crawled forward. When he reached the cockpit windows, he peered inside. It looked the same for the most part, but his training taught him to investigate every nook and cranny. Never know what you may find. He tried to stand, but realized he would slide right off. It seemed kicking it in was out of the question. Punching might work…but these windows were made to withstand. Adrian sucked up all his strength and smashed his fist into the window; all he got was nothing but a big ache in his hand. He proceeded to smash the window with his fist, eventually forming a crack. Blood stained the window. Eventually, the crack spread wider. He turned himself around and began to bring his boot down on the cracked window. Soon, he broke the window in and it smashed against the control panel.
After sliding inside, Adrian surveyed the cockpit. Inside, it looked like any other osprey. He searched every nook and cranny until he found a briefcase. The briefcase resembled the one that the man in the blue suit had. It looked like it was left here for Adrian…
He opened the briefcase and looked inside. Built into the briefcase was a control panel with just a simple button. Above the button in bold letters was BEGIN DISPLACEMENT PROCESS. It didn’t require a degree in heart surgery. He pushed the button and watched the energy bars rise to 100%. Then, a green light enveloped him and the briefcase.

SUBJECT: SHEPHARD

STATUS: LIBERATED

AWAITING ASSIGNMENT
 
Interesting. Maybe we'll see some kind of sequel eventually for Adrian in the video game. Keep up the writing.
 
Chapter 2: Detained
A flock of seagulls flew overhead in the dark blue sky. It seemed the sun was beginning to go down over the horizon. Adrian stared at the sky emotionless. He merely lay on the deck of the slanted ship and stared. It was so peaceful. Looking around didn’t interest him at the moment. He just wanted to enjoy the tranquility.
After minutes of embracing the tranquility, he stood up and looked around. Wherever he was, it looked incredibly abandoned. It had an eerie deserted feel to it. It felt like something was wrong, very wrong. Adrian began to navigate through the shipyard, jumping from ship to ship until he came to the dock area. He jumped down onto the wooden planks and stared forward. A body lay in front of him.
Adrian rushed forward and crouched next to the man.
“Hello?” he asked. No answer. He looked over the body and noticed that the man’s head looked severely misshapen. Adrian stood up and looked at its head.
“…No…it can’t be.” A headcrab was settled on the man’s head. He slowly backed away. Crawl out of one hole just to fall into another.
Soon, the zombie rose from the floor and turned around slowly with a horrific moan. Adrian continued to back away, stunned at what he was seeing. Could the aliens from Black Mesa have escaped? Could they have taken the whole planet for themselves? Was there really no one left? The thought kept racing through his mind as the zombie drew closer and closer. As he backed up, his foot hit a metallic object. Adrian looked down to see a red crowbar. Without another thought, he grabbed it and swung at the monster. His blow was hard enough to knock it off the dock into the water. He heard moans and groans behind him and saw four more zombies heading in his direction. Adrian ran forward.
Eventually, the docked ended and he had nowhere else to go but the water. As he was about to jump in, a slug like creature popped out. Adrian fell back onto the dock and watched as it fell back into the water. Another monster he remembered from Black Mesa: the ichthyosaur. It seemed there was no escape. Run through the squad of zombies or swim with an ichthyosaur? Another lose-lose situation thought Adrian. Suddenly, a chopper zoomed over the sky and made a 180-degree turn toward the docks. The chopper let its machine guns off and tore through the zombies advancing toward him. He almost grinned, happy to see humans were still around. They could help him figure out what was going on and maybe how to get back home.
“You! Citizen! Don’t move or we’ll be forced to fire!” Adrian dropped the crowbar on the dock and raised his hands. The chopper circled closer and two soldiers dressed in strange apparel rappelled down. They trained their weapons on him, strange weapons he had never seen before. One of them approached Adrian and handcuffed him. Then, they grabbed him and rose into the chopper. The chopper zoomed toward City 17.
 
Will he now?

Chapter 3: “What’s City 17?”
The chopper landed in a big field with other choppers and…vehicles Adrian had never seen before.
“Move forward citizen,” said one of the strange masked soldiers. Adrian continued to walk forward. They led him into a big building where other soldiers patrolled the corridors and rooms. They shoved him into a corner and suddenly, a blue force field materialized in front of him. What the hell, he thought as he stepped in front of the field. Across from him sat a woman behind a force field as well.
“You can’t go through it, only they can,” she said.
“Quiet!” yelled one of the soldiers. The soldier continued typing at the strange console attached to the wall. Soon, a kind looking old man appeared on it.
“Have you found the citizen who was using the teleportation technology?” he asked. The soldier nodded, pointing to Adrian. “And what of the rebel?” The solider pointed to the woman on the other side. The man nodded, scratching his chin. “Put them both on a train to Nova Prospekt. But first, I want to talk to the male citizen. Did you find the teleportation device?” The soldier shook his head.
“No, the teleportation device wasn’t there. The citizen says he doesn’t know where it is either. I think he’s lying.”
“Now, now, no reason to jump to conclusions. Let me talk to the man in private for a few moments. Bring the woman outside.” The soldier shut the force fields down and handcuffed the woman, bringing her outside. Adrian was left in front of the monitor with the man.
“What were you doing outside City 17? And how did you manage to get there?” he asked persistently. Adrian raised his eyebrow.
“City 17? What?”
“Yes, City 17. Are you even from City 17? And can you explain why you were located near a teleportation device?”
“I don’t even know where I am…” The old man shook his head.
“What? How could you not know? Have you been drinking too much water?” Adrian took on a puzzled look. What does my water intake have to do with anything? he wondered. The old man sighed and looked down.
“If you don’t even know where you are, you probably don’t even know who you are. Though I must say your fatigues look…familiar. And the armor you were wearing would make it seem you were once in the military. No one’s wore anything like that in over a decade. You’re an interesting character. Oh well, you won’t be a total waste. I’ll make sure you’re properly studied and…recruited.”
“I…don’t understand,” said Adrian. The man smiled.
“In due time my boy. In due time.”

The soldier led Adrian and the woman through the building outside. He shoved them into an APC and closed the door. There was a soft click as the door locked. Then, they started moving. Adrian looked at the woman.
“What’s City 17?” he asked.
“Hell.”
The ride was a slightly bumpy one as the APC drove through the streets of City 17.
“What’s your name?” asked the young woman.
“Adrian Shephard. You?”
“Jane Mason. Where’d you get the military fatigues?” she asked.
“These? They’re mine,” he said. They went over a bump.
“How’s that? We’re only allowed to wear blue jumpsuits.”
“Where’s yours?” She smiled.
“Blue jumpsuits aren’t exactly combat made. The Resistance makes their own fatigues for the resistance fighters.”
“What resistance?” asked Adrian. She raised her eyebrow.
“What, you been living under a rock or something? The Resistance is the force dedicated to putting a stop to the Combine and their rule.”
“…What’s a Combine?”
 
Awsome, that's what Op Force 2 should be like.
All gearbox needs to do is read some Fac Fic and they'll hav a awsome game on their hands.
 
I'm sure it's great, but I actually don't have time to read it right now. The reason I am posting is because... that's my last name! Well actually not quite, but close, it's "Shepard." Anyways, that was all.
 
Chapter 4: Locomotive
After their short ride through City 17, Adrian and Jane were shoved through a few security checkpoints onto a train.
“You are now heading for Nova Prospekt,” said a kind, disembodied female voice over the train speakers. The train car was filled with other passengers. The guard’s uniforms differed from those that had picked Adrian up and they appeared to be holding MP7s and USPs. Things still weren’t making any sense. The guards stood right outside the door in the connecting cars, their emotionless masks staring into theirs. Adrian leaned back and sighed.
“What is Nova Prospekt?” he asked, staring at the ceiling.
“Its like a hotel where you check in and don’t check out,” she answered, turning toward the window and stared at the landscape.
“What, it’s a prison?”
“No. Its much worse.” She fiddled with the chains binding her to her seat and suddenly the popped open. Adrian looked down at her hands.
“How the hell did you do that?”
“Let’s just say I know how to use a lock pick well.”
“One of the guards is going to see you.” Then, she unlocked the chains from her feet.
“Now they will,” she said.
Jane stood up and began waving her arms around. Her plan was working. One of the guards walked in, a MP7 cradled in his arms and an USP pistol at his side.
“Citizen! What are you doing?!” he asked. When he was close enough, Jane brought her leg toward her and fired it into the guard’s face. He flew into the car door and slumped to the floor. Jane picked up the MP7, fired into the guard’s face, and turned around as two guards rushed into the car. She switched the gun to full automatic and opened fire on them. They fell to the ground with blood gushing out of their wounds.
She crouched next to Adrian, unlocking his arm and leg chains. Then, Jane went back to the dead guards and picked up their weapons. She gave Adrian a MP7, USP, and a few clips for each.
“Clear out the cars down there, I’m going up to the control deck to take us back to City 17. Make sure you take out every Combine bastard you see. We don’t want one of them coming back here to execute these people.” Adrian nodded and moved to the next car as Jane went to the other. The car appeared to be empty. Thoughts were racing through his mind. What’s going on? Where am I? I don’t understand! He yelled in his mind. Adrian closed his eyes for a brief moment and continued moving on. The next car had a lone guard guarding a row of lockers. Adrian took care of him quickly.
He slung his MP7 and began searching the lockers for something useful. Ammo clips, grenades, and a few weapons. When he opened the last locker, a smile formed across his face. It was his PCV, Personal Combat Vest. It seemed they had brought it with them, probably to examine at this Nova Prospekt place. He placed his weapons down on the ground and put on the PCV. Adrian checked the counter and saw it was at 35%. He felt a lot better with it on, as if he didn’t feel himself without it. It was the finest technology the military had created or at least was when he was back in his own time. Built from HEV suit technology, the PCV was one of the finest armors ever created. Of course, HEV suits were far superior and Adrian would’ve never minded stepping into one of those…
Adrian stopped thinking about it. He had a job to do. He picked up his weapons again and moved to the next car. Two rows of strange pods were placed on each side of each other. Curious, Adrian crouched next to one and examined it. This is a strange device, he thought to himself. Stumped, he moved to the final car, wiping out the 4 guards inside. He reloaded the MP7 and moved up to the front of the train. The train was beginning to slow down. Jane must’ve made it.
After passing the scattered dead bodies in the other cars, he made it to the control deck where Jane was rerouting the controls.
“How’s the configuration coming?” he asked sitting down in a chair.
“Just one more…there we go.” The train lurched backward. “I’m sending us outside the city limits. We’re going to Resistance HQ, Black Mesa East.” Adrian leaned his head back against the wall.
“I’d appreciate it if you never mentioned the words Black Mesa ever again thanks.”
 
do you have a website or page where i can read the entire story or more of?
 
yer, it's on fanficition.net under NeoHunter (is someone stealing your stuff?) it's got all the chapters there.
 
i think hes joking. theres no site called fanfiction.net
just wait for deus's next stuff

nice work deus, its some qualitah writing, unfortunate that its too scripted to be used as a possible game, although.. where theres the will theres a way

keep it up
 
lol I'm Neohunter. Yes, thats my story over there. I update it here then update it there so you guys get the goods first ^_^. I'll have chapter 5 up soon.
 
Chapter 5: Government Man
The train continued its trek toward the wastelands of what was once a beautiful Earth.
“How long till we’re at this headquarters?” asked Adrian.
“Another ten minutes. If my guesses are good, these tracks should be right next to it. I destroyed the tracker on the train so we shouldn’t have to worry about the Combine coming after us.”
“Jane…I don’t know what’s going on,” said Adrian. Jane raised her eyebrow.
“What don’t you understand?”
“Everything! What is City 17? What’s the Combine? Why are there aliens running amok everywhere? Who are these soldiers? Its like I’m living in a nightmare here. I don’t know what’s going on!” He was about to lose consciousness when Jane appeared to stop moving, as if her body was frozen in time.
“Jane? What the hell is going...?”
“Time, Corporal Shephard. We don’t have a lot of time.” Adrian turned right and saw the man from Black Mesa, the government man. He was still dressed in a blue suit and was still carrying a briefcase. His grin still wasn’t friendly.
“Who are you? What’s going on?” Adrian stood up, his hand on his pistol.
“Now…now Shephard, no need to get hostile. After all, you should be thanking me; I helped you out didn’t I?”
“You left me on an osprey to die.”
“No, no, Corporal Shephard, I was preserving you, for your new…assignment. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to bring you here myself since I was attending to other matters with my…employers. But, it seems you’ve been doing quite fine on your own. I can only imagine what you and Doctor Freeman could accomplish together.”
Gordon Freeman.
The mysterious man continued, “Its time to play hero Corporal Shephard. The world’s been low on…heroes and they could certainly use someone like you. I hope you’ll accomplish the assignment set before you Corporal Shephard. Your one of my most valued…assets.”

“Adrian?” asked Jane. She was staring at him with a puzzled look on his face. The g-man was gone. It was just he and Jane. He nodded slowly.
“Yeah…I’m just fine.”
“You sure? You seem like you’re on another planet,” she said.
“It sure feels like it.”
Jane stopped the train and began freeing the other passengers. Ahead of them was an old, worn out bridge no longer used by anything. Jane led Adrian and the passengers toward it. She stopped in front of a trap door disguised as a piece of train track.
“Climb down and wait,” she directed. The passengers climbed down one by one, eager to get to some sort of sanctuary away from the so-called Combine. Adrian climbed down after them and Jane came last, closing the trap door. Adrian dropped down into a box like room. On the side was a glass panel with a man dressed in a blue jumpsuit behind it. He grinned when he saw Jane.
“Well if it isn’t Miss Mason. Dr. Vance was worried you had been killed.”
“You know me Evan, I’m a survivor.” Evan nodded, tapping a few buttons on the control panel in front of him.
“That you are Jane. I see you brought a lot of friends with you. I’ll tell Dr. Vance to meet you at your headquarters. I’m sure Victor will be extra happy to see you eh?” Jane chuckled.
“Well if you would open the doors and let me get to the elevator, maybe I could see my dear husband sooner?” The doors opened and they stepped out into a large, round room. To the right were tables with people and Vortigaunts playing cards and chess with each other. Adrian was just about to raise his gun when he realized the Vortigaunts weren’t attacking anyone. They were acting like they were with friends as were the humans. A lot had changed since Black Mesa. A Vortigaunt approached them.
“Greetings. There are more than enough sleeping accommodations to choose from if you would please follow me,” it said in a strange, distorted, gruffly voice. The Vortigaunt led the people through a few rooms and directed them to the free beds. Adrian dropped his weapons on the floor and unequipped his PCV. Then, he fell onto the bed and instantly fell asleep. The Vortigaunt stood over him, his red eye upon Adrian.
“You…you are the Shephard. You eliminated the Shockers and Spike shooters, our enemies. We are grateful.” The Vortigaunt walked away. Adrian hadn’t heard a word.
 
if i can make one teensy little criticism just for the sake of realism, sentence structure with characters like the g-man and the vortigaunts are different to that of other people, gmans sentences are.. well.. different.. hes very distanced from others and his sentences do not reflect any chummyness that many exsist. hes purely business.
That said from the game all conversations with gman are one way and as such arent good indicators of how a two way conversation should go so i guess your on the right track

appart from that, try to go a little more complex, especially with the technology and science involved, a bit of research on what your writing about eg: time warp, entanglement etc.. it makes all the difference in the world.

appart from that your story is one of the best in the fan fic section here so keep it up!

"
 
bboymatty said:
if i can make one teensy little criticism just for the sake of realism, sentence structure with characters like the g-man and the vortigaunts are different to that of other people, gmans sentences are.. well.. different.. hes very distanced from others and his sentences do not reflect any chummyness that many exsist. hes purely business.
That said from the game all conversations with gman are one way and as such arent good indicators of how a two way conversation should go so i guess your on the right track

appart from that, try to go a little more complex, especially with the technology and science involved, a bit of research on what your writing about eg: time warp, entanglement etc.. it makes all the difference in the world.

appart from that your story is one of the best in the fan fic section here so keep it up!

"
Click to expand...


Here, Here!

I couldn't agree more with the constructive criticism. The G-Man needs to be the G-Man. If that makes any sense.
 
lol well I thought I did a good job, but if Shephard happens to bump into the G-Man again, I'll try and make it more G-Man like ;). Originally, I was going to make it so it'd look like he was hissing everything, like "Hello, Corporal Sssssshephard, looks like you've been rather busssssssy." But it looked kinda ridiculous so I just stuck with this. Chapter 6 should be coming soon.
 
You don't need to add extra Ss at the end of the G-Man's words, just write something like: [ "<dialogue>" slowly explained the G-Man, in a half-hiss, half-drawl. ]

You could do it better, all I am saying that sometimes you need an explaining sentence fragment after dialogue. That doesn't mean everything in quotation marks needs something to explain it, but it would be good for important statements, or the first piece of dialogue from a character.
 
AWESOME JOB!!!

if valve reads these, they would be smart and take it.... 'cept the whole godamn gearbox issue.


cant wait till chapter 6
 
holy cow, first fan fic im reading....all the others dont compair, I love Adrian ;)
 
New chapter coming soon don't worry. Sorry its taking so long >_<.

Very nice wallpaper Polaris.
 
Nice Wallpaper.

By the way it will be hard to make a game using this story, but what about a movie.
 
I think the fic would be allot better if you fleshed out the writting, but othewise good job.
 
There should be a book made out of stuff like this.
Please go on!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Krynn72
You guys, what the **** is up.
Replies
11
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
HL2.NET HORROR SLAP
Replies
7
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
TechnoHippyChic
The Many Diversions of THC's Work Lunches
Replies
3
Views
2K
TechnoHippyChic
TechnoHippyChic
Lizardizzle
2019: The year of Half-Life SFX videos
Replies
4
Views
2K
Ennui
Ennui
bbson john
Hi everyone. I am new to this forum!
Replies
11
Views
6K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
Back
Top