Surprise Surprise Transformers 3 continues the trilogy of suck

CptStern

CptStern

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http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_dark_of_the_moon/

37% the odd thing is that Transformers is beating out Pixar's Cars which is getting 33%.

in other words Michael Bay > Pixar OH THE HUMANITY!!!

I can’t decide if this movie is so spectacularly, breathtakingly dumb as to induce stupidity in anyone who watches, or so brutally brilliant that it disarms all reason. What’s the difference?
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http://movies.nytimes.com/2011/06/2...the-moon-theyre-at-it-again-movie-review.html
 
So is this one actually about robots punching each other in the face or is it just another two hours of Shia LeBeuf trying to get laid?
 
Good question. I had the option of seeing it for free last night at a preview showing but I had other things I wanted to do. After the second one I really had very little confidence that this film would be worth watching. The trailers gave me a feeling that it has no substance to it and after hearing the terrible reviews I will be surprised if I ever watch it.

What they need to do is get a good director to do a remake of Beast Wars. I would go see that in a hurry.
 
Quixoticism said:
I had the option of seeing it for free last night at a preview showing but I had other things I wanted to do.
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Even if your "other things" consisted of causing yourself bodily harm, I maintain that you made the right decision.
 
I just got back from it. If you were to have filmed my facial reactions during Transformers 3, they would've spanned the gamut of human emotion. But at the end, with my jaw primed (no pun intended) to drop, it left me with only thin lips pressed together. In the final moments, where there might have been the culmination of my childhood realized, I find myself wanting. And I, like Megatron, shall never get what I want.

When this movie is on, it is ON. But when it's off, it's just gone.

The bad parts should be outlawed by a court of human dignity. You know what the biggest offenders in Revenge of the Fallen were? KITTEN CALENDAR, KITTEN CALENDAR, KITTEN CALENDAR and Herp and Derp's (Skids and Mudflap) wannabe Black banter. This movie has homosexual jokes piled on top of homosexual jokes, and the wannabe Black robots are replaced by a wannabe Black Asian office worker. (Who also has a homosexual joke scene) The amount of human bullshit in this movie reached critical mass. It was just building up from the past two movies, and like Chernobyl (one of the locales visited in the movie), it exploded. The human suckage was just too much to contain at this point.

Which doesn't mean there aren't good human parts. They're there. Just everything else overshadows them and by that point you don't even give a shit anymore. They have tainted the movie.

Except this time, where the robots were the previous two films' saving grace, in this one even they're hit or miss. Namely, the Decepticons. Oh lord, do the Decepticons get bitched out in this movie. First off, WHY ARE THEY ALL DROOLING? Jesus, someone get these 'cons a napkin. Shockwave, the villain that's been played up in every trailer, is a grunting, incoherent, one-track-minded killing machine. Okay, so that last part's pretty cool, but where was the scheming, logic-dictated robot who spoke in an INTELLIGIBLE, refined voice that I grew up with? This surely wasn't it. This thing went, "Grrr! Arrgh!" and some other things that I can only guess were meant to be Cybertronian.

Also he gets bitched out by the humans.
But it's okay; Prime comes back and finishes him off in an awesome way. That was one of the parts the movie was ON.
And dear, dear Starscream. You had such promise in the first movie! You were the one who fired on Megatron, crippling him so that he'd be out of your way. Then you took off towards the sky, back to the Nemesis, to raise an army. Just like in the cartoons. Too bad in the second movie you jobbed to Megatron almost as bad as he bent over at the waist for the Fallen, and even in this movie he calls you a pathetic sycophant--which you're supposed to be, except your potential is never fully realized. Also, you spit up saliva now more than Sylvester the Cat. What the hell is that green goop anyway? Goddamn, why do machines need to salivate in this movie? They didn't in the other movies!

Also, he dies a bitch death not even fitting for STARSCREAM. You know that's a bad bitch death when even motherfucking Starscream doesn't deserve to go out like that!
There are various other bitchouts in the movie...'Soundwave'...Barricade, who literally just said, "Fuck this," in the first movie and drove off, he came back only to be bitched out...

But Megatron. Megatron takes the cake, because godDAMN Megatron was cool in this movie. I was building a hype train every time he showed up. And right at the end, after

THE MOST AMAZING FIGHT SCENE EVER HOLY SHIT DID THAT LOOK COOL AND SO TOTALLY NOT LIKE TWO BIG HEAPS OF METAL SLAMMING INTO EACH OTHER, BUT AN ACTUAL FIGHT
you think something's going to happen...and you don't get it. It just doesn't happen. The movie could've gone out in the most amazing way possible, and it was squandered.

There's a lot of other stuff I could probably comment on...the way the filming style seems to change during the latter third to try and be more gritty and "Black Hawk Down"-ish. Some plot holes. The giant worm, which should be called "Michael Bay's explosion machine," because seriously, this thing makes fiery explosions WHERE THERE IS NOTHING COMBUSTIBLE when it tunnels around. But really, at the end of the day all I gave a shit about was seeing robots fight, which was delivered at some points, and not capitalized at others.

At the first scenes in this movie I had the biggest shit-eating grin on my face. By the end of the movie I left with lips that were in such a straight line you could've used it as a level. It was good at parts. Some parts were damn good, absolutely amazing. I want to go back and watch them again. But other parts just left me with an anti-climactic feeling.
 
If it is loud and colourful and has robots punching each other in the face-parts I will pay money to see it.
 
So Darkside, same as the others then, 80% filler? Sad that Daniel Witwiki is more badass than the human characters in Bay's films.

Are you serious about what they did to Soundwave? Dear god. The satelite idea for him in RotF was genius but it was a tradgedy that he never dropped down to Earth, ejected Laserbeak into some Autobot's face and tore the shit out of everything. Would have been much better than the Decepticon generics shooting gallery they had, even if it ending with Soundwave getting killed.
 
I don't know if I can say 80% filler. There were huge chunks of filler interspersed with chunks of actual 'plot' moving forward, but it didn't feel as bad as RoTF, if that makes sense.

And yeah, they messed up Soundwave so bad. Which sucks because when he shows up and starts talking, even though it doesn't LOOK like him, (it doesn't look like RoTF Soundwave) and he has Laserbeak curling around his shoulders, you're like, "Oh shit, awesome." But then later on

he becomes generic Decepticon #5 that you can't even recognize until they specifically call him out by name, and he kills an autobot that you can tell was meant to pull at the heartstrings, but since you don't actually give a shit about that Autobot, who has no characteristics beyond, "friendly old man who was just introduced in this movie and has like two minutes of screentime before this," the whole damn thing felt hamhanded.

Then he dies.
 
heard this movie was as shit as the others. Judging from this thread I'd say that's ture
 
Went and saw it again tonight. I think...I may have judged it too harshly. There are still some bad scenes, but the most offending scene that I thought brought down the movie the last time I watched it really wasn't that long. It didn't feel as claw-your-eyes-out agonizing this time. Maybe since I expected it, my brain was able to better gloss it over.

Actually, seeing it the second time, this movie wasn't too bad. Cohesion was definitely a lot better than RotF. Fights were probably the best out of the three. And the main thing that left me kinda pissed off the first time I watched it:

So, Megatron dies in a really anti-climactic way. At the end, Sentinel Prime has beaten the shit out of Optimus, he's torn his arm off, he's impaled him through the other shoulder, he's dragging him along a bridge grinding his face into it. And all the while, Leonard Nimoy is giving this pretty cool speech, and he stands with his sword above Optimus' neck, poised to deliver the killing blow...THEN OUT OF NOWHERE, MEGATRON COMES UP WITH A SHOTGUN AND STARTS TAKING SENTINEL APART. I mean he's destroying him. He gets him on the ground, starts kicking him in the face up along the side of the bridge; it's amazing. He's saved Optimus Prime's life, but you hear him saying to Sentinel, "THIS IS MY PLANET!" It's the greatest thing ever. Before this, Megatron had a scene that was, IMO, the BEST scene Megatron has had in any of the movies, and this just ramped it way in the hell up there.

After dismantling Sentinel Prime, Megatron is standing over his broken and exhausted body, watching it grovel on the ground. Megatron says to Optimus Prime, "Now all that's left is a truce. After all, what would you be without ME, Prime?"

The faceplate slides over Optimus Prime's mouth. "Let's find out."

And right there, you THINK there's going to be this amazing, jaw dropping battle between them. After the choreography you just saw between Sentinel and Optimus, and I'm talking some seriously beautiful fighting here, not two scrapheaps of indecipherable metal shards slamming into each other but this great swordplay with twists and turns and acrobatics, you think you're gonna see something that'll top even THAT...but no. In one of the biggest fight teases since Equilibrium, Prime kills Megatron in one fell swoop. What I didn't see LAST time I watched the movie, Prime was a punk and threw his axe into Megatron's chest before he could even react. At the moment when Megatron was expecting to bargain with Prime, Prime did the devious move and hurled a goddamn energon axe INTO MEGATRON'S CHEST. Then he ripped it up through his body and took off his head. So Megatron never even had a chance to fight back.

It was disappointing the first time I saw it, but I didn't notice that move from Optimus. I just saw him rush at him; I completely missed the axe-toss. So I guess, seeing it the second time, I'm not as disappointed. It's just that Prime did a bitch move, and now that I've seen it, it doesn't feel so anti-climactic.

Also, funny thing I didn't notice the first time:

At the beginning of the movie, when Sam's in the apartment and Brains and Wheelie are watching TV, classic Star Trek is on. Wheelie remarks, "Oh, I've seen this one. This is the one where Spock goes crazy." It gives away the whole movie if you pay attention to it.
 
Is ther more o prime dialogue! He simply doesnt speak enough! My hero!
 
I still maintain The Rock is the best movie Michael Bay has been a part of (though it doesnt take much to stand out from the rest).
 
that's like saying baby shit smells the least like shit
 
Is it just me or has Prime become more and more merciless since the first movie? I'm talking this son of a bitch pulling some serious shit.

Feigning death and only showing up again once the invasion has wiped Chicago into the ground to prove a point? Damn Prime. Balls of steel. And he just tears mother f*ckers apart.
 
9rpj0.jpg
 
I really felt like that if ANYONE other than Bay directed this movie we would have an awesome film with action AND story. You can glimpse the promises of greatness that were never seized upon because Bay thought there needed to be more explosions.

Why is the most awesome fights always in the middle? in RotF it was Optimus alone in the woods against the Deceptions trying to protect Sam, the two energy swords came out and I got chills from the awesome. In Dark of the Moon the only the only time I felt any suspense was when the three Decepticons were chasing after Sentinel on the free way (it was marred somewhat buy Sam's yelling though).

I also liked the new girl, she actually was smart (when she wasn't screaming), but her upper lip bugged me.
 
lord_raken said:
(it was marred somewhat buy Sam's yelling though).
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That was one of the funniest parts of the movie for me, actually, but yeah it ruined the mood if that scene was supposed to only be suspenseful.

lord_raken said:
I also liked the new girl, she actually was smart (when she wasn't screaming)
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Yeah she did way better than the role we expected her to play, which is what the Chinese people refer to as a "vase" (i.e., looks pretty but just stands there and does nothing during the movie)

lord_raken said:
but her upper lip bugged me.
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This. My wife and I turned and curled our lips at each other at multiple points in the movie to make fun of her. Ha haaa, laughable facial features.

EDIT: Oh yeah, "Dasvidaniya" "THAT MEANS GOODBYE." *slam* was THE funniest part of the movie for me. I was still laughing a day later. All in all I think the movie was the best Transformers yet...if one were to compare these things with each other.
 
Alan Tudyk was my favorite character in this movie. The brief moments that centered on him stole the show and had me roaring with laughter. (as I said earlier, brief glimpses of brilliance)
 
Darkside55 said:
Actually, seeing it the second time, this movie wasn't too bad. Cohesion was definitely a lot better than RotF. Fights were probably the best out of the three. And the main thing that left me kinda pissed off the first time I watched it:

So, Megatron dies in a really anti-climactic way. At the end, Sentinel Prime has beaten the shit out of Optimus, he's torn his arm off, he's impaled him through the other shoulder, he's dragging him along a bridge grinding his face into it. And all the while, Leonard Nimoy is giving this pretty cool speech, and he stands with his sword above Optimus' neck, poised to deliver the killing blow...THEN OUT OF NOWHERE, MEGATRON COMES UP WITH A SHOTGUN AND STARTS TAKING SENTINEL APART. I mean he's destroying him. He gets him on the ground, starts kicking him in the face up along the side of the bridge; it's amazing. He's saved Optimus Prime's life, but you hear him saying to Sentinel, "THIS IS MY PLANET!" It's the greatest thing ever. Before this, Megatron had a scene that was, IMO, the BEST scene Megatron has had in any of the movies, and this just ramped it way in the hell up there.

After dismantling Sentinel Prime, Megatron is standing over his broken and exhausted body, watching it grovel on the ground. Megatron says to Optimus Prime, "Now all that's left is a truce. After all, what would you be without ME, Prime?"

The faceplate slides over Optimus Prime's mouth. "Let's find out."

And right there, you THINK there's going to be this amazing, jaw dropping battle between them. After the choreography you just saw between Sentinel and Optimus, and I'm talking some seriously beautiful fighting here, not two scrapheaps of indecipherable metal shards slamming into each other but this great swordplay with twists and turns and acrobatics, you think you're gonna see something that'll top even THAT...but no. In one of the biggest fight teases since Equilibrium, Prime kills Megatron in one fell swoop. What I didn't see LAST time I watched the movie, Prime was a punk and threw his axe into Megatron's chest before he could even react. At the moment when Megatron was expecting to bargain with Prime, Prime did the devious move and hurled a goddamn energon axe INTO MEGATRON'S CHEST. Then he ripped it up through his body and took off his head. So Megatron never even had a chance to fight back.

It was disappointing the first time I saw it, but I didn't notice that move from Optimus. I just saw him rush at him; I completely missed the axe-toss. So I guess, seeing it the second time, I'm not as disappointed. It's just that Prime did a bitch move, and now that I've seen it, it doesn't feel so anti-climactic.
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Aside from the fact you call it less disappointing, this ****ing entirely. I sat through ****ing two and a half hours of human bullshit to get to what amounted to possible 5 minutes of actual robot to robot shit ripping and then Michael Bay decided he might be going a tad over budget and bitches out on what could have been a slight redemption of an otherwise typical forgettable, bloated anus of a film. I was so pumped, and so let down within the span of 30 seconds.
 
How Megatron, Shockwave and Starscream were treated in this film makes me cry.

No more Bay please, Spielberg should direct the next movie whether it's a reboot or not.
 
Bacons said:
How Megatron, Shockwave and Starscream were treated in this film makes me cry.

No more Bay please, Spielberg should direct the next movie whether it's a reboot or not.
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Actually aside from the way Starscream died like a bitch and Megatron's abrupt death, they were handled REALLY well. Megatron was at his best in this movie. He also had his best line in the entire trilogy.
 
I just saw it there were robots, booty shots, explosions, a space-ship, robots ****ing each other up with glowing swords, and gunfights, 9/10

It did what it said on the box
 
I really like the opening 5 minutes of the movie until Sam and his 'Vase' show up, thought the rest of the film was pretty meh (Aside from a few scenes here and there), and was finally back into it when Megatron starting ripping Sentinel a new one, which only lasted about a minute.

Better than the second one though.
 
Darkside55 said:
Actually aside from the way Starscream died like a bitch and Megatron's abrupt death, they were handled REALLY well. Megatron was at his best in this movie. He also had his best line in the entire trilogy.
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That's true, and it was cool how he owned Sentinel. Even though Soundwave still had a small part, I liked his line when he was about to kill Bumblebee.

"No prisonors... only trophies!"

I can't get over how Shockwave was in this movie... one line with Cybertronian nonsense and no Corey Burton.
 
The original Transformers cartoon(Never watched it)was about robots fighting robots, now it's about love between the Megan Fox replacement and Shia La Bouf.Epic Battles=Romance. Where did it go wrong? making a trilogy of films taking it too far.
 
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