The Customer Is Not Always Right

[Jintor]

Customer: ?I need to return this game. It?s too hard for my son.?

Employee: ?Well, miss, according to your reciept, you bought this new. So, all you can do is get another copy of the same thing if it?s defective.?

Customer: ?Who the h*** are you? I?ve never seen you before!?

Employee: ?I?ve been here for close to a year??

Customer: ?I?ve been coming here for a long time, and I?ve never seen you!?

Employee: ?Well, be that as it may, you cannot return the game. I?m sorry.?

Customer: ?F*** you!?

Me: ?Miss, I am the store manager here and what my associate is telling you is true; you cannot return the game and you need to leave. I will not tolerate you insulting my employees.?

Customer: ?Make me leave, see what happens!?

Me: ?Okay, I?ll just call security. Will that do it for you??

Customer: ?Call security, I?ll call the cops!?

Me: ?Be my guest? that?d be awesome.?

Customer: ?I?m the store manager of [store] across the street and I?d never treat a customer this way!?

Me: ?Would you break return policy just because someone is yelling??

Customer: *leaves in a huff*

Me, to employee: ?What game was it, anyway??

Employee: ?? Nintendogs.?

(Four elderly men enter the store. They are all at least 70, balding, and at least one has a cane.)

Manager: ?Hi, what can I get for you??

Elderly Man #1: ?Are those bagels hot, young lady??

Manager: ?They?re pretty hot. They?ve been out about ten minutes.?

Elderly Man #2: ?But are they as hot as us??

http://notalwaysright.com/

Just a bunch of anecdotes, really. But... funny anecdotes.

 

[huntingbear]

(Four elderly men enter the store. They are all at least 70, balding, and at least one has a cane.)

Manager: ?Hi, what can I get for you??

Elderly Man #1: ?Are those bagels hot, young lady??

Manager: ?They?re pretty hot. They?ve been out about ten minutes.?

Elderly Man #2: ?But are they as hot as us??

OMG YES!! LOLZ! funny old people are funny!

 

[Seppo]

They probably got sued for sexual harassment.

 

[MJ12]

Then the two old people combust into flames and the manager soon realizes there was no joke about it.

 

[Darkside55]

I hate you Jintor. I've been on this site for exactly one hour. I can't stop reading these. I hate you. You've TV Tropes'd me.

 

[Tyguy]

when i was working retail and and a customer gave me shit i'd just sigh loudly and explain to them that i hate my job and to leave me alone. It get's tiring when you're blamed for shit that is out of your hands.

That's not to say I was a dick to the nice customers, sometimes id offer an hj in the parking lot for a commission.

 

[nipples]

I found this site a few months ago, its awesome.

 

[Tyguy]

nipples, you remind me of nipples. I can't help but picture giant erect nipples when you post which in turn gives me giant erect nipples.

 

[nipples]

That sounds hot.

 

[Sulkdodds]

Hello, this is **** pizza?
**** school here, how can I help you.
Hello, yeah, this is ****.
I'll put you on the line to ****, our manager.

 

[G-Dub]

heh Nintendogs.

Also:

Jonesin’ For Some Pepperoni Pizza

(An older lady called in to comment about the sauce of one of our most popular pizzas.)

Customer: “It’s as though you people put crack in it!”

Me: *laughs* “It is pretty good…”

Customer: “So, do you?”

Me: “Do we… what?”

Customer: “Put crack in it.”

Me: “…are you asking if we put cocaine in our pizza sauce?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “No. I’m pretty sure they stopped putting drugs like that into food and medicine by the 1940s.”

Customer: “Oh. Really? Because it would explain a lot. I just can’t stop eating this pizza!”

Fat lady is fat!

 

[Darkside55]

I can understand this guy:

(I am just finishing up a sale with an older gentleman for show tickets.)

Me: “Ok, just to let you know, there are no refunds or exchanges for these tickets, and the show does contain shooting, swearing, and smoking.”

Customer: “I hope not in my row!”

Me: *confused* “Well, it’s a show…you can see everything from every seat…so–”

Customer: “I’m talking about the shooting!”

Me: “Oh! Well, no…they shoot each other on-stage….”

Customer: “Not the audience?”

Me: “Not the audience. What kind of theater do you think we’re running here?!”

Customer: “I don’t know…I just don’t want to get shot.”

 

[MJ12]

^Bet it was Abe Lincoln

 

[Leto]

The first example reminds me of my job.

The fun part is when they get angry, they are like "You just lost a customer!" or "I'll never come back here again!" as if they are expecting me to have some sort of mental breakdown and beg for forgiveness.

Like I give a shit.

Of course, when I give that :| face, they just walk away fuming.

Customer: ”Can you show me where the carpet cleaning stuff is?”

Me: ”Sure, right here.” *leads him to the aisle*

Customer: ”Which one is good for getting blood out of carpet?”

Me: “Well, this brand works well for spots. How much blood are we talkin’ here?”

Customer: ”About a bucket full…”

Me: “You may want to rent a carpet cleaner…”

Patrick Bateman?

 

[Tyguy]

^Bet it was Abe Lincoln

roflwaffles

 

[Sulkdodds]

I love YOU JUST LOST A CUSTOMER. It's amazing that anyone could be so self-righteous.

 

[Tyguy]

don't mean to flood the thread with copy and pastes but this one really tickled my funny bone.

Fibbing Fail
Retail | Denver, CO, USA

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I need to return this d*** camera.”

Me: “Sure, was it not working?”

Customer: “I just don’t want it, okay?”

Me: “Okay. Have you opened the box yet?”

Customer: “Why does that matter?”

Me: “Well, as the sticker on the box says, if the box is opened and you return it, I have to charge you a restocking fee.”

Customer: “Oh. No… no, it hasn’t been opened.”

(I look and the box has been clearly opened, with a torn seal.)

Me: “Uh… are you sure it hasn’t been opened?”

Customer: ”LOOK! ARE YOU CALLING ME A F***ING LIAR? Where is your manager? I spend hundreds of thousands of dollars here and this is how I’m treated?!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you just–”

Customer: “THESE PEOPLE CALL CUSTOMERS LIARS! DON’T SHOP HERE!”

Me: “Ma’am, I believe you! I will return it!”

Customer: “That’s right you will!”

Me: “Can I see your receipt?”

Customer: “It’s in the box.”

 

[Darkside55]

That's why I can't work retail. I could never cow to these idiots. Respect to everyone who does.

 

[MJ12]

Darkside's mother can work retail, if you know what I mean.

 

[Darkside55]

Darkside's mother

work

lol

Aww, my mom would beat my ass with a Hot Wheels track if she read that.

 

[MJ12]

I bet that would hurt. I remember I used to have a lifesize toy ghost buster pack. My neighbor ripped the yellow hose connecting the pack to the gun and whipped the shit out of me when we got in a fight when I was like 6.

Man that hurt.
What's this thread about again?

 

[Vegeta897]

Darkside's mom and her troubles with retail.

 

[MJ12]

But Darkside whipped me with a Ghostbuster hose last time I did that...

 

[Darkside55]

When I was six one of my 'friends' whipped me with an NES controller.

Yes, an ORIGINAL NES controller.

 

[Blackthorn]

And the button layout has been permanently engraved in his forehead ever since. They call him Game Journalist Man.

 

[Dog--]

This one was lol.

Customer #1: “This cell phone doesn’t work anymore. I want you to replace it.”

Me: “When did it stop working?”

Customer #1: “After I brought it in the shower.”

Me: “If it got wet, it’s probably not going to work at all, and it won’t be covered by the warranty.”

Customer #1: “I don’t understand. If it doesn’t work anymore, you’re supposed to replace it. It should work in the shower.”

Me: “Well, no. Like any piece of electronics, it’s not going to work if you get it wet. Would you bring your laptop in the shower?”

Customer #2: *interjecting* “I bring my laptop into the shower all the time.”

Me: *facepalm*

Probably fake though.

 

[Tyguy]

this isn't funny but i worked at comp usa (i suppose that is funny) a few years ago and a lady came to the back where all the computers were and asked if we bought used computers.

As i began to explain to her why we do not, she started to cry. Keep in mind this woman is elderly.

I ask her what is wrong and she tells me her husband had just recently died and it was his computer.

I don't remember what I said but jesus was that awkward. Still, I felt bad.

 

[Darkside55]

Because you said it wasn't going to be funny, I decided to laugh out of spite.

And then I read what you said, and I felt bad.

But I'm still laughing as I type this.

 

[Dog--]

Yea, I don't know why you don't find it funny.

I find humour in other peoples misfortunes. (not the old lady's, yours.)

 

[jverne]

nipples, you remind me of nipples. I can't help but picture giant erect nipples when you post which in turn gives me giant erect nipples.

IT HAS THE SAME ****ING EFFECT ON ME!!!


actually nipples is partially responsible for my new nipple fetish.


i say we allow nipples to use an uncensored avatar image of a stiff, erect and juicy female nipple. all in favor say "I"!


edit: almost forgot

Spoiler

if you didn't get a hard on or at least a tingly sensation in your penis...then you are most likely gay, or you ejaculated in the last 10 minutes

 

[nipples]

Lol. A picture of a boob doesn't automatically give me an erection.

 

[lefty]

maybe you should pick an attractive boob, or at least one without a watermark all over it.

 

[swan_song1973]

in my experience, the customer's a ****ing moron.

 

[Leto]

ANYWAYS....


at one point, when I was working I had this one lady with her kid come in.

Lady: I would like to return this game

Me: Why do you want to return the game?

Lady: because it's too violent for my child(some M rated game)

Me: well, I can't really do that, you opened the game and I can't really exchange it

*10 minutes of hassle later*

Me: okay fine, it looks like I can do it, but I can only exchange it with another game, what game would you like to exchange it with?

Lady: Call of Duty: World at War

Me: Really?

Lady: Yes

Me: *explains M rating and content*

Lady: I still want it

Me: *internal facepalm*

 

[Darkside55]

if you didn't get a hard on or at least a tingly sensation in your penis...then you are most likely gay, or you ejaculated in the last 10 minutes

I'm completely desensitized to breasts now.

You'd need at least like, eight of them to get even a tickle out of me.

Eight of them on the same woman.

 

[Leto]

 

[Dog--]

Leto is right, let's talk about ****in trains.

I like the caboose.

 

[Darkside55]

Leto is right, let's talk about ****in trains.

I like the caboose.

I thought I'd never get to use this again.

 

[Leto]

*facepalm*

 

[Dog--]

He's on rocks.

Trains don't go on rocks they don't even go.