The Freestyle Rap Battle Thread!

Sulkdodds:

what was that?
your punk ass breath
you better watch yourself cuz i'm tougher than the rest

you don't know me? here's my card, i'll try make it easy cause you're obviously a retard

this is the chef you're talking to, and the crowd's hungry foo',
i'm gonna cook a meal outta you, make a deal outta you,
sell your ass to the pimps or just throw you to the chimps

But not even a monkey would like you, you're a freak of nature
just seeing your face should be rated mature
I don't know why you only battle posers,
maybe if you got up to my style you'd get abit closer,
to the real rapping game where the real rappers stay

but hey - we'd pick you apart like you were a piece of clay

so you stay there in preschool, whoa, you're a real tool
pretend you're snoop dogg when you're no bigger than my own blog

I ain't got no fear 'cus I'm more lyrical than shakespeare, coming here dropping more bombs for you to hear,
to tear just say where, i'll be there, swear, **** you up fair and square and that will be the end of your punk derriere

you think you got style, you think you got flair, but nothings coming outta your mouth - except air,
drop the empty notebooks and let's go back in time, i'll teach you much faster than you'll be able to rhyme

you come here with yo fancy words right outta highschool, well i'm welcoming you back - to the oldschool
the street rules here, not your grades,
your ass is ****ed - enjoy your aids
 
You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
 
I don't like rap, so this is giving me a knack...
...to eat something like Lays; a snack full of fat.
These forums are going down the tubes, as low as Shamrocks manboobs.
My own rhymes are making me sick so I think I'll quit.
Or maybe I'll go on, "just one more line"; wait, that's Shammy's mom lying.
 
Crazyharij, wherever the **** you are, be you in your mum's garage or wanking in dad's car, sitting in a
pile of garbage and trash with a dictaphone and a stick up your ass know this: I don't give a shit about you.
Internet tough guy, what you gonna do? Scream at the sky or scream at your screen, makes no difference when all
you really mean is 'I've got in-sec-ur-ities, I've got may-jor pay-nis envy, I've got a bunch of neuroses
and Freud would have a ****in' field day with me'. You wanna look big, gonna make me toast? Shit, I got pwned
by a forum post! Well e-penis +1 asshole, thanks for the tips but the only thing ever slips your lips is
postrin, posing, inverted snobbery man I'm a real gangsta wontcha lookit me? Well **** you bitch, I'll take
a switch-blade to hitch in your skin, rip you apart from the outside in, break your arms and snap your shins,
ignoring your din, your lungs in a bin, stick a pin in your eye and watch you cry 'i don't wanna die' well too
late f*ck you're sore outa luck, stuck between me and a rock and I'm the mother****in hard place you don't wanna
be, pull out your eyes an stomp your debris into the concrete, beat and beat and beat and beat you down into
the street, leave you stretched out in the sun to bake in the heat, picked at by the eagles, pinned down by
their beagles, your soul washed away by a sheet of rain, washing yo ass clean, until the police come dragging
you down for forensic work, your guts smeared across two miles of sidewalk, snatched up by tramps and hobos to
sell in the streets to starving winos and kids, bellies bulging malnourished, your lyrical flourish and your
flowery polish means nothing to them. They won't be discouraged from pulling you back into the circle of life,
your fibres and tubes and your jellies and glues cycling back to return for a whole new crew, deja vu cause
they'll be like just you, fussed like you and trapped anew, trying to make do pull through, failing at kung-fu
never getting up, ever trodden down down, sodden in the ground never anywhere round, just staying right there
cause they're too damn scared to leap the bounds they've been set by the millionaires. Hercules of the world
wide web, cut the cheese and curl up in bed cause on the info-highway, I do things my way and nothing you say's
gonna make me bleed cause sticks and stones I'll snap you f*ckin' bones but zeroes and ones don't equal cojones
- you ain't owning no-one but your own damn self. So **** right off with your second-rate slop and your
second-hand hate, tryin' to humiliate with borrowed hostility stolen off TV, fake superiority and hype like you're crazy.
Anonyminity ain't helping nobody except to prove the internet ****ward theory.
INTERNET TOUGH GUY, I'M COMING FOR YOU!
Look momma, I can be an asshole too.
 
I find it extremely hard to take sulkdodds seriously :(
Like, ever.
 
Activate ELITE rapping skilz :

Roses are red, yo.
Violets aren't really blue, G.
All my base are belong to you-izzle in the hizzzzzzle!

Deactivate ELITE rapping skillz.

Ooooh yeah.
 
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Shut the fuck up.
 
roses is red
apples is sour
open you legs
give me one hour
 
Beerdude26 said:
zOMG one sec I'll see if I can find that old IRC log where me and some other members freestyled on the #dodmach channel :O
Click to expand...
Haha, I remember that. Do you have the whole log with you? I'd like to see it.
 
Qonfused said:
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Shut the **** up.
Click to expand...
I thought the exact same thing word for word after reading the post directly above yours.
 
who wants to step up and take a bite out of this? This time let it be someone who can actually dis, take one look at the snake and Ill give you a hiss, got a nice ass flo I that learned from the bis, now back the hell up or recieve a full-metal fist!
 
Que-Ever said:
I find it extremely hard to take sulkdodds seriously :(
Like, ever.
Click to expand...
I find yo momma hard to look at straight, cause I lose my will to ever masturbate
agin, your kin, she's ugly as sin - needs to be put down. Euthanasia for the win.
Ever consider I'm takin' the piss?
I mean, who the hell writes shit like this?

Now for a little real old-skool drive from a time when brits ruled the whole damn hive:

Scoundrel who steals his godly moniker from ant-iq-uity to try and strike fear
into his en-em-ies, you ain't nothing but a smear
to me and my British Empire hom-ies.
Have at you, dog! You fight like a cow! Go live in a bog. Just f*ck off right now. You're our damn country and I don't give a shit bout no war of independence, sure you did your bit for freedom, vision, in-div-id-ualism but all you done gone is create a new pile, new shit-pile for your paedophile president George, a resident splurge on the tissue of human history, pissed it up against a tree
and between you and me that's you, your nation
summed up - irritation, a puddle of piss in a railway station
and give it a couple hundred years or so the janitor'll sweep you into the snow. End of all you do and all you motherf*ckin know.
Cause you dared, made your pitiful attempt to look with contempt on this monument
to our greatness, yo, the British Empire consume enemies in righteous fire enemies lament
at the raping of the towns and we pillage all their hos
Or maybe it's the other way round it goes.
We took the middle east and we gave it what for and we chucked all our convicts right out the door and we took half of africa w'out breaking a sweat and all of this, fool, that's what you gonna get.
 
Grow a sense of humour before you get a tumor in your funny-bone, moan-boy, just go home boy.
 
I'll tell you why you little snot-nosed f*ck! Cause some fools wanna have fun - you SUCK way too much of your own damn dick to ever understand what makes us tick and your snobbery's robbery of human dignity you think you're better'n'me cause you're above being free? Well go stick your head in the RM-B K nuclear reactor in Chernobyl factory, and stop acting like you're intellectual-ly superior, inferior-ity's more like-ly to be your modus operand-ee so eat shit and die. Why god I'll tell you why cause not everyone wants a piece of your pie 'oh me oh my these rappers all be high to be pumping out this waste that makes me wanna cry' well I got a big surprise for you, sunrise in your eyes as you see my reprise in its true form, new scorn, bluer than the sky at dawn, an everybody be blowin' my horn and that's a metaphor, whore, in case you didn't score - if you're above this shit then there's the door.
You hear what I said? Clear out of the thread before I chop you to ribbons and hide yo in my shed.
 
Sulkdodds said:
I'll tell you why you little snot-nosed f*ck! Cause some fools wanna have fun - you SUCK way too much of your own damn dick to ever understand what makes us tick and your snobbery's robbery of human dignity you think you're better'n'me cause you're above being free? Well go stick your head in the RM-B K nuclear reactor in Chernobyl factory, and stop acting like you're intellectual-ly superior, inferior-ity's more like-ly to be your modus operand-ee so eat shit and die. Why god I'll tell you why cause not everyone wants a piece of your pie 'oh me oh my these rappers all be high to be pumping out this waste that makes me wanna cry' well I got a big surprise for you, sunrise in your eyes as you see my reprise in its true form, new scorn, bluer than the sky at dawn, an everybody be blowin' my horn and that's a metaphor, whore, in case you didn't score - if you're above this shit then there's the door.
You hear what I said? Clear out of the thread before I chop you to ribbons and hide yo in my shed.
Click to expand...
...What?

On a serious note do I ever seem like I'm trying to be smart?
 
What country you come from, boy? Heaven above, 'What' ain't not country I ever heard of! Keep saying that word you'll find me unforgiving if you're even still living, shiv'rin, deliv'rin, both legs in a sling SAY WHAT? They speak motherf*ckin' english in What? What kinda land's it, freezing cold or hot? ENGLISH MOTHER*CKER! DO YOU SPEAK IT? I've livid, **** it, enough of your bullshit! Con-trib-ute to the rap dis-pute or leave right now because sure, you're real cute with your hausfrau, highbrow, holier-than thou shit, that attitude'll get people hit and shoo'd right into the next life kicking and screaming.
You think you're above it? Keep on dreaming.
 
You'd better run boi, I see you outof your depth
comin from another angle? got no ****in' respec
as for you sulky, heh you too goddamn abrasive
Pushin out the reams of prose but hell it's just not persuasive
Fiction, huh? Your rhythm's pulp, mofo keep grinding out lines
need I remind don't misconstrue the true meaning of the rhyme

(edited for spelling D: )
 
Call me lax but your syntax is taxing me, needs a hacksaw or three to edit it down, down so it fits unlike your square peg, round hole methodology ain't convincing me. Ses-quip-idalian's messed when you're feigning it and rarely gets the sound to hit adaquately.
 
You can't handle how much Sulk's rockin the vocab
With more verbal dexterity than a language lab
Showin you up with his mighty lexicon
When he starts rappin all his rivals are gone
Your tail's 'twixt your legs whilst he works the microphone
Like the lyrical equivalent of your mum greasin' his bone
But he ain't the only one with cleverer-than-thous lines
I'm handlin' the crowd like a deaf person handles signs
All day, every day, my accuracy paves the way
And my skills 've got you revolvin' and beggin to stay
If I said you had a fit body would you hold it against me?
Say yeah, 'cause come on, you don't wanna offend me
Not 'cause I'm threat'nin but cause I'm so irresistible
And my foes are more dull than a weekend in Whitstable
I'd sing you a love song but I heard chivalry's dead
So I'll come straight and say it: Girl, give me...
Erm... Erm... A pipe and slippers? I dunno.
 
Dont gimme that crappy rhymie, Its far from sublimie
Il trash this thread and goto bed after getting medieval on your heiney.
But before im done il build a gun that no one can explainie.
Il make it work and go bazurk to begin my peaceful reinie.
 
Sulkdodds said:
Call me lax but your syntax is taxing me, needs a hacksaw or three to edit it down, down so it fits unlike your square peg, round hole methodology ain't convincing me. Ses-quip-idalian's messed when you're feigning it and rarely gets the sound to hit adaquately.
Click to expand...

Heh,
pro-verbs and big words they just don't cut, if your
mind can't get round it fine but don't strut, as for
fakin' it, true to the game, I won't rise, -open
eyes and real-ise this is somethin' to see

More than
adequately hittin' on the sound of the game, I'm up for
cuttin' people down but your just playin' on blame, as for
convincin' that's not right, won't go down without a fight, and thus
the message is the cussin' it ain't hurtin' on me
 
Ho-lee-shit! Clarky's got the awesome power of a hundred-strong bank of wardencliffe towers
popping out them waves in a storm in a shower, fast as light destructive as jack bauer.
Artifically generate thunderclouds instigate a typhoon, hurricane, tries and he tries to explain,
but none of us quite packing the requisite brain so it makes no sense and thus he laments:
'why won't they motherf*ckin understand? Why won't they pull their heads out of the sand? Why won't they realise it's a whole new page with scalar waves and a f*ckin farraday cage!' He'll thrust you through into a new age, so potent he's almost a techno-mage. How many dimensions? More than five! When he jives his science live you ain't gon' survive. He deals in pretensions and over-extensions of pseudo-science, too defiant, just ain't true. Or so you think, but you're trapped in a box; you gotta think outside it if you' wanna get the pox catch the flu, the fever, scientfic believer, **** yo wife, man, just f*ckin' leave her. Some guy in greece said give me a lever phat enough and lo, I can move the earth! You wanna be like him? Ask clarky first!
 
Clarky fo' sho', he got the run of the forum but I find scalar waves borin' sleep through the paragraphs I'm snoring
If your making an enqu-ir-y, some fi-er-y analysis, the tinfoil king of argument, that mastermind of politics
He's politically DOA, he say's he's chased by the CIA, on the run from the government and ignoring all precedent, ignoring one or two points of view and jumping the gun, revered by some, y'all know I'm talking of the legend kathaksung
'Politi-cally in-corr-ect or government censorship?' we're
ignoring the warnings of the morning prison-planet hit.
and still he chomps on at the bit of intellectual tomfoolery
making himself a sure target for homeland security
FBI leaks? his specialty he's the royalty of messin'
tried to bring him back to planet earth? I hope you've learned your lesson
he's the god of twisted argument, don't bring up richard nixon
'cos kathaksung's a herald of the flourine that they're mixing.
 
...I've created a monster!

I'd post more nastie beatz, but I'm tired and can't be arsed.
 
JNightshade said:
...I've created a monster!
Click to expand...
'cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more
They want Shady - I'm chopped liver
etc etc etc.
 
Should be doing homework but I'm dog-tired out.
Might as well take a break 'too give ya'll this shout:

IThe year, my friend? Ninteen forty-one and Hitler's coming awn with his tanks and his guns spreading death and disease and fun fun fun 'cross the whole world, his enemies blitzkrieg-stunned. A cancer, a canker, the dread necro-mancer of old fears, old hate, for Stalingrad it's too late but lo and behold, cause I see fate, swinging in to the sin gonna take a hold of things, cause this is the turning point Russia's all burning and Stalin's a-yearnin' for his vic-tor-y. Give him another two years or three and he'll have it there, for all to see as the Allies kickin' ass in Normandy and blowin all the germans right outa their trees.

But hey - stop - rewind the clock, to the fateful winter where it all went cocks up for the ayrian scary and lairy dict-tat-or, struggling already to keep up the war.

Poland is frozen in the grip of his jaws and the Jews all trying to es-cape his claws but here's a-right where we gotta take a pause and work it out yo - what exactly was the cause of the genocide, Hitler fried one thousand or more and that went up to six million by the end of the war. But how central was he to the choice for nazis to **** all the slavics and the jews and the gays? Old-school historians still maintain that Hitler's will was like a rollin' steam train from his early career, a fascist pioneer and on and on, and on down the years till now we're here, he got all the general's ears and if he says the word, ****in' Albert Speer and the rest of the crew gonna know what to do - it's the Holocaust man. Say bye-bye to the jews.

But recently, two or three scien-tists of history have searched and researched and they claim they've found that mass brutality and killing policy was all a result of 'pressure on the ground'. Cum-u-lat-ive radicalisation! Means all them officials got above their station and political darwinism fractured it, mass schism hundred little empires trying to do his wish - only nobody's sure what exactly he want dished. These men, so-called struct-ur-al-ists take a pluralist view of the killing of the jews - in any case, you prolly get the gist but the long and short of it's basically this:

One hand, Hitler's in-control mother****er.
Other hand he's sitting 'round, being a sucker.
It's a hell of a subject wrapped all in mystery, and the sheer brutality still horrifies me. Lack of morality ****s up your brain and see, then you thinking just like me: "**** this shit," cause we can't admit that the past and the future and all of it is dark.
Congratulations Adolf. You've made your mark.
 
Strong dictator or week? There's no conclusion you seek,
But the genocide it rides on the start of world war two
A combination of both, the darwinism and sloth,
But the system was intentional with Hitler ****in' Jews
He pushed the 'jewish problem' left the public unconvinced
No premeditated method inexperienced but sly
Kristallnacht was a test, reaction? lukewarm at best,
And so he stalled whatever plans he had to calm the public eye
As Eastern Europe succumbed, appeasement failing to stop him
The mofo's confidence was blinding but then Poland went down
Occupation of the Czech,well it went on a whim
But then ol' Chamberlain he laid the ulti-matum on the clown
Now Hitler's got no choice, can't back down, gotta score
He's been preparing for a war but not so early as this
And so millions of Jews, i-deological views:
couldn't use them 'cos to him they were just puddles of piss

And so the genocide it started, this is only one view,
I'm only half-convinced myself, evidence comin' in new
with so many sides to choose and as for me I'm for a few
Incidentally you studying for highschool or A2?
 
AS level's kinda like a halfway hut between the A2 level and now the case is shut
on the GCSEs which didn't appeal to me but oddly enough, quite inexplicably
I did better than most of the rest of the host
of pretenders, chavs, benders, assholes and Gh0sts.

Person'ly, I think that I subscribe
to the view that the gov'ment was a ****ed-up hive of conflicting shards of the big regime that had all split up to make their own schemes like an anthill of of pigs still climbing to the top so they can bring ill on the rest of the crop. Political darwinism's what it's all about but that's not to say Hitler was totally out of the process, sure he was a bit of a lout but in terms of clout he was something to shout home about. Mad crazy bitches comin' up with their pitches say hey yo Fuhrer, can we kill? He's in stitches sayin heil deine fuh-rur - just make damn sure you follow my Will.

All through the thirties he was pretty damn dirty but still just wanted to hurt his jews so much they'd be through with him, leave the country on a whim, get out of his hair and out his syst-em but one by one the options disappeared till in autumn 1941 their minds were clear on what they had to do to solve the Problem - and that went above mere rules and pogroms. Mass de-portment was real popular till the hope of quick winning disappeared pretty far
away, the Russian winter mak-ing graves of the soldiers so brave fighting off them Russian knaves.
Einsatzgruppen had been doing it for months; wasn't far to leap to be genocidal c*nts.
 
Granted the Nazis were poo, but if we could choose, the USSR would be for the lose, as they killed more peeps than the facist scum, they didn't take prisoners, just shot em. I mean when Germania was pwned, and all was done and the generals were hung. Why did they shoot thoose nazi conscripts, they took there lives, denied there wives, the chance at a true familly life. But maybe thats the price that you pay, when on that day you fight for the wrong side, but who decides what price the losers must pay? Surely in such evils face, we should slow down the pace, of the human crimes, murder deceit and mass genocide? For no war was ever won, when fathers left daughers and mothers lost sons?
 
'In war there are no winners only losers' for sure
That's quite a turnaround for someone who distinctly abhors
the ****in' System. It's good to know abuses ain't ignored, but
as for Stalin it's more difficult I'll open up the doors
The ****er was a cold-blooded shit, take that for granted
But if it's competition well then my man Hitler is more slanted
It's a question of scale, and man for man he's the most wanted
Stalin's purges were not genocide- but Adolf wasn't daunted
Extinction of inferior races odd-lookin' faces
The kulaks and opponents they were nothing place-for-places
like-for-like, piece-for-peace, well it seems to me at least, that
The Austrian Germaner held the mother****ing wreath

The last secret of the west, so it's called. Now it's open, the
Burden of the wordin' as we sent them back in dread, we
protested as they messed with moral qualms but he had spoken, and we
wondered as wounded they blundered into the lead
 
However my rappin freind it is important to take note
That democracy should be more than just the yearly vote
If you deny social welfare, and equality too
Then when your old they'll be no-one to look after you
The system is the same, it hasn't been improved.
Just the poor arn't in our streets the povertys just moved
Now we rich rely on the eastern poor
There labour is exploited, becuase of what there working for
They working for the basics, as we were once too
Read "A ragged trousered philanthropist" and it will explain to you
How socialism can liberate, not only us in the west
But the chinese, the statrving and all the rest.
 
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