The greatest eating utensil (useless polls rock!)

[Sedako]

What is your food slaying weapon of choice?

 

[Phobie]

A knife! And a FORK!

Controversial I know.

 

[Qonfused]

Fork.

 

[Phobie]

Also... it depends what I'm eating!

 

[NeptuneUK]

I want a spork crossed with a knife.

What would it be called? It would undoubtedly be the greatest most versatile eating utensil ever.

 

[Sedako]

I want a spork crossed with a knife.

What would it be called? It would undoubtedly be the greatest most versatile eating utensil ever.

A kniforoon?

 

[dfc05]

Sporks are useless pieces of crap. They're too weak to really pick up anything without breaking. The tines are too short to do any real forking, but long enough that it's hard to eat soup without having most of the liquid go through the slits.

They use them as prison utensils. I think that says something about how crappy sporks are.

 

[Beerdude26]

Sporks are useless pieces of crap. They're too weak to really pick up anything without breaking.

Sounds like you need...

THE TITANIUM SPORK​

[cue "Halleluja" choir]

 

[NeptuneUK]

Just because shitty plastic ones are crap..

 

[Lucid]

I eat nigh everything with a fork.

Except for cereal.

 

[NeptuneUK]

Soup?

 

[-Psy-]

Sounds like you need...

THE TITANIUM SPORK​

[cue "Halleluja" choir]

Best product description ever. :O

 

[Emporius]

Trusty ol' fork and me go way back...

 

[Deleted member 56031]

spork FTW!

 

[Stigmata]

I love chopsticks. Forks are easier to use though.

 

[<RJMC>]

utensils are for pussies!

thats why you hands for!

or maybe this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWP4MGoC1SI

 

[ComradeBadger]

Spork by a great distance, clearly!

 

[Raziaar]

utensils are for pussies!

thats why you hands for!

You beat me to the punch. :dozey:

 

[lePobz]

I love a good pair of knorks.

 

[Krynn72]

A unique rocking motion?


Fork wins

 

[Anthraxxx]

Obligatory vote for chopsticks because I am an asian man. Now if you could only combine the spoon, fork, knife, and chopsticks.... it would be the ultimate eating utensil.


Sporknifsticks.

 

[Dog--]

EDIT: Holy crap, beaten by 2 people!

 

[Steel.Inferno]

Steak knife. Decent enough to use equivalently to a fork, can cut things too.

And if:

Someone is stealing your food: Steak knife through the hand will prevent any future theft. For less blood, simply graze along knuckles.
Your food is not, in fact, dead: Stab repeatedly with steak knife. A fork is not deadly enough.
An intruder or large animal interrupts your meal: Slash throat with steak knife. Problem solved. Again, fork is not terribly deadly as well as being relatively nonthreatening.
You have steak for dinner: A normal knife will not cut it. Haha, pun.
You are a pussy: You will appear less so while brandishing a serrated knife.

 

[Danimal]

Inferno wins the thread. The rest of you can just leave.

 

[Atomic_Piggy]

Spork, obviously.

 

[Phobie]

I love chopsticks. Forks are easier to use though.

Agreed. I eat so many noodles. Chopsticks are fun!

 

[noQ]

If I had to choose only one, that I had to use for the rest of my life.
I'd choose this

with a soup spoon.

 

[Dynasty]

Wtf is a spork????

Anyway, chopsticks ftw.

[Edit - nm, found what a spork is, and we've got some in the kitchen *cough*]

 

[jondy]

Steak knife. Decent enough to use equivalently to a fork, can cut things too.

And if:

Someone is stealing your food: Steak knife through the hand will prevent any future theft. For less blood, simply graze along knuckles.
Your food is not, in fact, dead: Stab repeatedly with steak knife. A fork is not deadly enough.
An intruder or large animal interrupts your meal: Slash throat with steak knife. Problem solved. Again, fork is not terribly deadly as well as being relatively nonthreatening.
You have steak for dinner: A normal knife will not cut it. Haha, pun.
You are a pussy: You will appear less so while brandishing a serrated knife.

I..... I had no idea... *cries*

 

[Remus]

An intruder or large animal interrupts your meal: Slash throat with steak knife. Problem solved. Again, fork is not terribly deadly as well as being relatively nonthreatening.
You have steak for dinner: A normal knife will not cut it. Haha, pun.
You are a pussy: You will appear less so while brandishing a serrated knife.

nonthreatening eh?

*Kills Inferno with blunt butter knife*

 

[Darkside55]

Nothing beats the spoon. Your multitensils be damned, the spoon is already perfect without amalgamating it into some kind of knife-edged, prong-headed freak.

 

[evil^milk]

If it weren't for society I'd totally use my hands to eat. Seriously, I'm way more comfortable eating with my hands alone than using stuff like knives and spoons.

To hell with society, I'm outta here.

 

[Adabiviak]

heh, we only own two forks, and that's just for when friends come over. Chopsticks FTW.

 

[delusional]

Nothing beats the spoon. Your multitensils be damned, the spoon is already perfect without amalgamating it into some kind of knife-edged, prong-headed freak.

How the hell do you eat meat?

 

[Reginald]

It's not real food if it can be eaten without a knife.

 

[Fliko]

Fork.
Who needs to cut their food?
You can drink your soup!
And you can break anyone's neck who tries to steal your food.

 

[Crushenator 500]

Fork...

I actually have a few steel sporks, and on one edge is slight serrations (the really mild school knives type) so you can use it as a knife, fork, or spoon. I don't like them though, prefer a normal fork anyday

 

[Wanted Bob]

Steak knife. It is the only utensil I can hold "properly".

 

[Smoke]

Trusty ol' fork and me go way back...

No idea who you are, but your avatar matches my music perfectly.

+1 point.

Now, best utensil would be the face, covered in a big sheet of tinfoil with holes for my eyes, nose, and mouth. If I can't snort food through it, it is useless.

 

[Darkside55]

How the hell do you eat meat?

With my bare hands.