The HL2.net Conservative Party

Acepilotf14 said:
National as in our little piece of bandwidth on the internet.
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Valve's little piece of bandwith. This website is hosted by the blood, sweat and tears of Valve Software, not by your Commihippie values!
 
It's located in a small provence of the Great British Empire known as Amerika.
 
Pesmerga said:
Valve Software located in... which country, again?
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Yes, we have some vested interests in foreign countries. Hopefully they'll continue to supply us with bandwidth, less we have to declare war and "liberate" their server rooms.
 
Obviously this is the only party our benevolent dictators feel is worthy of survival. A testament to our sound policies and superior moral values.
 
It's the cp. This party is collaborators, and are there for traitors against humanity.

Libertaah!
 
The HL2.net Conservative Party is favoured and legalised by the Benevolent Dictators Party.
 
Samon said:
The HL2.net Conservative Party is favoured and legalised by the Benevolent Dictators Party.
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That's typical. Legalizing the one party that doesn't stand a chance!
 
Raziaar said:
That's typical. Legalizing the one party that doesn't stand a chance!
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Well now that our opposition has been removed, I'd say we've got a pretty decent chance. You know, unless there was some military-style dictatorial fascist government in power.


...oh.
 
You can take away our freedom, but never our zombie-psyducks.
 
You can take our freedom, but not our individuali-

ALL HAIL OUR GENEROUS MODERATOR OVERLORDS!
 
Give me one reason why I shouldn't ban this sick filth?
 
Fire has been known to change things, often for the worse, and the Conservative thread is therefore fire-retardant.

Yes, we are so conservative we opposed the development of fire. One of our less successful campaigns.
 
In the very beginning, when change initially spread its murky fingerprints over our idyllic social lives, we refused to campaign. It reeked too much of change.
 
Yes We Can!
26041947_400x400.jpg
 
toaster-man said:
Bring back Sulk please
please
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My fellow hetairians. Hahaha, I kid, I kid. This is the riff-raf we're addressing. What? What do you mean, we're on air? Er...

My fellow halflifeans! It's with great honour and trepidation that I've accepted a position in the HL2.net Conservative Party. I had no idea whatsoever that I was going to be invited back, and this entire affair has been a total surprise to me. On the other hand, nobody asked me to write this address; in fact, I had been preparing it independently of my own accord.

I will forever remember the day when chairman Eejit approached me to join the campaign."Get outa here!" I told him. "I don't care how many of you greaseball goombahs come out of the woodwork-" He interrupted me. "I'm German-Irish," he said. "Well, let me tell you something, kraut-mick!" I began. Before I could finish, he made me an offer I couldn't refuse; duly, I accepted it.

My friends, we live in a broken forum. Let's face it: everything is getting worse; the regulars are terminally decadent (what do they need those giant avatars for?), morals and manners are in freefall, community is collapsing, newbies are neglected, the forum is fragmenting and nothing is what it once was. In that golden age - it seems like only a year or so ago, mainly because it was - everything was rainbows and birdshit. But now I see hell-raisers and rabble-rousers trying to tear the forum apart, creating new threads just to argue with the mods, claiming with supreme self-righteousness that they are the ones who are trying to make things better, while, in truth, they only try to make things worse. My friends, to see such horror in our time and in our home forum saddens and aggrieves me to my core (takes out onion).

Naturally, seeking to profit discord and violence, there arise a gaggle of other parties and alternatives, copy-cat demagogues. But the opposition are worse than simply silver-tongued; they are obsolete. They are horse-drawn politicians in a burning-vast-amounts-of-crude-oil-age. This is a difficult time, and we will not pull through it with hypocrisy, pleasant words, or contradictorary policies. It is the best of times and it is the worst of times; it is a time for change and a time for things to stay the same. For we are the true face of change - and the best way to bring about that change is to go backwards and bring back someone who's been around since 2003. Under us, the internet will not be a series of tubes, but tiny strands of glass the thickness of human hair. All big trucks will be replaced with greener and greater rickshaws, and outsourced to efficient private interests.

I would like to take the time to address some rumours that have been circulating regarding my conduct. Firstly: reports that I have been 'pouring poison' into the ears of people like Kadayi Polokov and Zombieturtle are totally unfounded, and simply a trollish invention. These are personal friends of mine with whom I have no business or political connection and with whom it just so happens to be my custom, while they sleep in the lovely orchard in which we often meet, to steal upon in their secure hour with juice of cursed hebenon in a vial.

Secondly, some of you may have heard that I was under consideration by PM Mu Rho for being fired as a moderator. This fillet falsehood has not a bone of truth in it. For whatever other reason, to suggest that PM Rho would take more than a moment's consideration is outrageous. This is not to say that he makes snap decisions. Why, I remember on release day, when the site was besieged by angry forumites and raving, juvinile spammers. At the time, PM Rho was engrossed in a relaxing game of Sin. Yet even in the teeth of release, he refused to take action until he had finished the level. Told that the site was under vast network strain, he simply looked out into the info-ocean, and said "I see no bits." PM Mu Rho has all the greatest qualities of a leader more continent than Ghengis Khan and more munificent than Mussolini; I have every confidence in him as a steward, as has he in me.

I've said that we're living in a broken forum. You are all men of the world; more than that, of the internet. You understand technology and how to deal with it. You know deep in your hearts that the only way to fix a broken thing is to hack at it violently. It's the only language they understand. And so I for one am proud to pick up the hammer. I am proud to return to aid the HL2.net Conservative Party in its campaign to mend this broken forum. I am proud to be a part of their project. And I am proud to serve you, the forumite, with every fibre of my being.

Pysche! Haha, suckers. Alright, good show, guys. How's my hair? Excellent, excellent. That about wraps that up, then. What? What do you mean you're still recording?
 
I did. I just said tl;dr becouse it was long.

Liberty etc. Im getting bored with this.
 
I support the comments made by party member Sulkdodds and I shall support his plans with great fervour. With this I am also supporting his continuous seat in the House of Hetairia and his plans to further increase the funding of the department of moderation.

- Pax
 
Pax said:
I support the comments made by party member Sulkdodds and I shall support his plans with great fervour. With this I am also supporting his continuous seat in the House of Hetairia and his plans to further increase the funding of the department of moderation.

- Pax
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I thought you were a member of the BNP.
 
Nobody cares about Hetairia go away.
 
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