The paradox that is lamarr

[HeadCrabMolester]

Just a couple o' thoughts and ideas on our little ex-head sucking friend...

First off...lamarr seems a bit...oh I dont know, "red around the edges" so to speak...I mean you'd think Kliener'd clean him/her/it up after "de-beaking" her...imagine the germs it must be harboring...that'd drive any normal scientist nuts...and everyone knows that in order to be a successful scientist you need to be an obsessive compulsive, germ fearing, hand washing tool...and for the most part, Dr. Kliener fits the part (with lots of emphasis on the tool characteristic)...but I'm beginning to think its all a farce...I think...(and this might fall under the "...and you'd be quite alone in that assumption, buddy" category)...that our good Dr. is actually...(wait for it)....THE ADVISER!!...*nods*...I'd explain but, I too am beginning to lose interest in the subject...so i'll move on...*cheers...clapping*

secondly...do all headcrabs suddenly revert to oh-you-cute-little-cuddly-puppy-i-love-you-so-much mode after being "reformed?"...seriously, all lamarr is missing are the floppy hanging tongue and big, innocent, deep round eyes...frankly I'm turned right off by all this harmless cutesiness...how's a guy suppose to get his gore covered, skinned-turkey resembling, built-for-sucking-so-why-not-fuc+&$^*# headcrab action...when, after one little snip...and you're left with goddamn scrappy doo?...appalling isnt it?

and third but not last...I think they should make an expansion pack...where the player assumes the role of, you guessed it, lamarr...and your task is to lead a ragtab team of newly reformed and beakless headcrab misfits...all of which have different names and characteristics (i.e. Gummy: comic relief, cannon fodder, Skull Nibbler: intense, silent, take-no-shit fighter, Tupae Sam: a wise old headcrab, of whom had once had the pleasure of lunging, albeit unsuccessfully, at the now infamous Gordon Freeman, durring his earlier moments at Black Mesa) mostly so the player can eventually get attached to them, joyously fight along side them, and then suddenly and unexpectedly have their feelngs ripped asunder as "Gummy" is murderously stepped upon right in front of his/her eyes...(heh...this actually started off as a joke....but...the more i write...and think about it...the more appealing it becomes...strange)

their mission: infiltrate and recon various combine controlled hot spots...which will eventually lead them into the dark, dank, combine infested ventallation ducts of the citadel...gameplay would involve intense team oriented strategic combat, (much like Brothers In Arms) matrix like kung-fu action, special laser guided headcrab lunge attack, dual wielding (*shrugs* if its good enough for halo 2..then its damn sure good enough for half-life 2)...and a surprise ending that'll grip you by the short hairs...

But I digress...those are my thoughts...now on to the replies

 

[Cypher19]

In regards to the secondly, I think Lamarr has grown to accept his situation. I know my cat very quickly stopped doing things that required his claws after he was declawed (e.g. scratch on the furniture) so I found it quite natural for Lamarr to be quite docile since he was essentially declawed.

 

[barrell]

You got me all worked up on that one.
I think it is a neat ideah.

 

[CookieCuttah]

Lammar is a female.

As for the mod idea that is quite entertaining yet realistic at the same time.

 

[Megalomaniac]

I'm into the take-no-shit head crab

 

[Bedwetting Type]

Kinda off topic, but in the HL1 mod Rocket Crowbar (before version 2.0), you could transform/be transformed into a headcrab and kill people that way. You could leap like 50 feet in the air, it was pretty fun. =)

 

[Bull Goose Loony]

declawing a cat is mean D:

 

[Delicious Bass]

for you first point, the red around lamarr's mouth thing is just prolly watermelon juice. thats all the doc feeds lamarr :naughty:

 

[lordbotulor]

Oh my god, this post made my day (especially the "third but not least" section). Sounds like the makings of a touching Disney movie, where Lamarr would fall in love, and...you know what I'm getting at.

 

[SAJ]

Lammar is a female

I know Im going to regret asking, but .....................how do you sex a headcrab? :E

 

[lordbotulor]

Well, when a boy headcrab-or what ever has the wiener-meets a girl headcrab...<insert bizarre mating ritual here>

Eventually, the mating ritual ends in the female headcrab killing the male, in quite a gruesome exchange of fluids.

 

[Tynan]

I think he just calls it female. Headcrabs are essentially asexual, though they are technically female. Just like worker ants: they're "female" but they can never reproduce themselves.

If you don't remember, little baby headcrabs are excreted by Gonarch in the Xen levels of the first half-life. So the headcrabs themselves don't reproduce. They'd exist only to serve Gonarch as an ant exists to serve the queen.

 

[lordbotulor]

I think he just calls it female. Headcrabs are essentially asexual, though they are technically female. Just like worker ants: they're "female" but they can never reproduce themselves.

If you don't remember, little baby headcrabs are excreted by Gonarch in the Xen levels of the first half-life. So the headcrabs themselves don't reproduce. They'd exist only to serve Gonarch as an ant exists to serve the queen.

C'mon, you're ruining the story. Disney cant make a movie about some gonarch!

 

[uberBullsquid]

hrrrmmmm if they are a recon unit, how r they gonna pass on any valuable information to the resistance if they cant speak ? maybe they can all wear marine helmets mounted with cameras...this would double as full body armour

 

[ordog]

I allways assumed that each individual headcrab had the ability to grow into a gonarch himself. Maybe the gonarchs have sex. That's what all that white stuff they shoot at you is about.

 

[bam23]

Dogs grow more mellow and timid when they lose their canines, I guess headcrabs go through the same thing?

 

[JNightshade]

man, I thought this was dumb at first, but the more I read, the more I liked it. I must say, you made a weird idea very cool. Try and find somebody who can make a mod like that!


Oh, and you need a heavy weaponry expert headcrab. Every balanced team has a guy who makes things go boom... even if it's a headhumper team.

 

[Dasparov]

I think he just calls it female. Headcrabs are essentially asexual, though they are technically female. Just like worker ants: they're "female" but they can never reproduce themselves.

If you don't remember, little baby headcrabs are excreted by Gonarch in the Xen levels of the first half-life. So the headcrabs themselves don't reproduce. They'd exist only to serve Gonarch as an ant exists to serve the queen.

I forgot about Gonarch, i was just thinking they would spontaneously appear....

 

[Hondo]

I allways assumed that each individual headcrab had the ability to grow into a gonarch himself. Maybe the gonarchs have sex. That's what all that white stuff they shoot at you is about.

I could have done without that image.
Fear the twenty-pound speeding poison ejaculate!

 

[RaBiD WeAzEL]

I think he just calls it female. Headcrabs are essentially asexual, though they are technically female. Just like worker ants: they're "female" but they can never reproduce themselves.

That would have to mean that there'd be a QUEEN headcrab, giving brith to them all. Can someone say Half-Life 3!? heh...

Hear that Valve? Are you taking notes?

 

[bam23]

Now this headcrab idea is starting to sound really cool.

I can imagine the heavy assault headcrab wearing some sort of bandana and camo paint.

 

[Rocketman9mm]

1st. the redness. It could be remnants of watermellon that kleiner feeds her, and seeing has how headcrabs immediately drown in hl2 when they get in water it wouldn't take a bath very willingly.

2nd. as far as it being domesticated, we don't know the intelligence of these things, for all we know they could be intelligent on the levels of our pets, which were once wild animals themselves. if this is so, it could possibly be domesticated.

that or maybe after years of research and dealing with them he's found some way to do it himself, either with surger or drugging. think of it - headcrab labotomy.

and lmao at your expansion proposal. I'd play it.

 

[Great Grizzly]

The head crabs are born from the queen, Monarch. Every x amount of years, a new queen is born and is then when reaches maturity, makes new headcrabs.

Simple. just like ants

 

[CriYam]

Yes, watermelon residue.

My cat is declawed "she's an indoor cat" and she still tries clawing at the furniture

And "she" shares the same name as a male character in blazing saddles. The same character which everyone uses the female name for.... watch it to understand.

 

[Metatron]

My cat is declawed [..]

;(

6char

 

[RandomDan]

I like your mod idea, I can just see a bunch of 10 headcrabs running down a corridor after a few scientist heads

 

[Mr Neutron]

did we already see the headcrap "queen" in hl1, What's-its-name? I have troulbe believing the necessity of having to use headcrabs for reconnaissance. It's not exactly like they're ingocnito because the combine eliminates any infestations that get too near to their operations.

What's a gonarch?

 

[corkscru74]

I know Im going to regret asking, but .....................how do you sex a headcrab? :E

Very Carefully!

 

[Dill0n]

so whem lamarr tries to jump on barney's head, it's the equivalent of a dog (not THE character dog) trying to hump your leg?

 

[Kouler]

LOL the ultimate arcticle.