alehm
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Listen friends, I know this guy whose roommates friend was visited by the Enterprise who traveled back in time to the Star Wars universe and found out some things George Lucas doesn't want you to know.
First off, a Klingon Bird of Prey can kick a Star Destroyers butt, but I am not here to discusss that. I am here to tell you the truth about Jerk of the Galaxy Obiwan.
When someone becomes a Jedi he must be initiated in a Jedi Hazing Ritual. Luke Skywalker did not know this but Obiwan really put a good one over his head. Obiwan went too far with his naked Jedi fantasies... In the Republics hey day this was common knowledge. As a matter of fact, Annikan Skywalker was a victim of a Jedi Hazing Ritual gone very bad... and guess who planned that ritual???? OBIWAN!!! MAn I hate this guy..
I am going to show you that Obiwan faked his death, ran around the Death Star naked, the Yoda faked his death, ran off into the woods naked, and Darth VAder peed in his armor... yes, even Darth Vader was in on the joke, he was so bitter about living in a mobile life support suit his twisted mind couldn't care about torturing his own son. Let me detail this out to you.
1st lets study Obiwan's character:
1. You think Obiwan is a swell fellow? I hate to break this to you but he is a liar!
A. He told Luke "Vader betrayed and murdered your father." But WE know the truth! When Luke confronted the so called "ghost" of Obiwan he tried to cover up his lie with "what I told you was true, from a certain point of view." What a load of bantha poo doo! Even Luke wasn't suckered enough to believe that one.
2. Obiwan wasn't a goody two shoes light Jedi.
A. He trained under Qui Gon, who was trained by Dooku who we know is a Sith.
B. Yoda himself told Obiwan "Qui Gons defiance I sense in you." It is evident Obiwan had an attitude problem.
So far, we have established that Obiwan is a jerk and can not be trusted. Now lets look at the evidence that he is a pervet who likes to walk around naked with a little green man named Yoda.
Evidence #1 - The "disapearing" death
Up until Obiwan fought Darth Vader in Episode 4, no Jedi had ever disapeared and became "one with the force". What a joke! What Obiwan merely did was use a common Jedi Mind trick called "force persuade" to make himself invisible to everyone and strip off his clothes and run off with his wrinkled member swinging freely about the Death Star! What a pervert! You might object and say "but the Death Star was destroyed so he would have died." That is a good objection for a Padawan. But think.. who was the sole survivor of the Death Star? Yup.... Darth Vader!! Obiwan was on board Darth Vaders tie fighter, naked I might add, using the force to mess with Lukes mind saying things like "USE THE FORCE LUKE" as he was flying the Xwing. Luke looking around asking "Ben?" Vader obviously grabbing the wrong flight stick while piloting the Tie fighter caused Obiwan to say "LET GO!!!"
Obiwan and Vader were in it together. They ARE FRIENDS!
Evidence #2 - Obiwans "GHOST"
Obiwans ghost was merely a holograph projection, much like the Leahs "Help me Obiwan kenobi" speel recorded in R2-D2. And LUKE FELL FOR IT! He never noticed holograms and ghosts looked the same! The sucker. If you think this is far fetched, just think to yourself, is it a coincidence that Obiwan's "GHOST" appeared to Luke at the same time the Empire was sending down probe droids to Hoth? I think not. The probe droids were projecting the Holgram where Obiwan tells Luke to go see Yoda, so obviously Yoda is in on the gag.
Evidence 3- Yoda, the green little perv
When Luke found out Vader was indeed his father the Jedi Hazing was almost about to unravel, so what does Yoda do? He fakes his death like Obiwan using "force persuade" and getting naked and running off into the woods. When Luke was talking to R2, almost emotionally destroyed, believing all his freinds were dieing he said he couldn't face Vader. I bet Yoda and Obiwan, after pointing and laughing at each others shirveled naked bodies were hiding in the bushed laughing! How cruel. They were probably broadcasting the message to Vader was peeing in his armor with laughter. Jerk pervin Jedis.
This is sick and twisted I call all of you to think twice before thinking highly of Obiwan and Yoda. Luke Skywalker barely made it out alive from this joke. Lets pray that Luke puts and end to the maddness after ROTJ.
The end
yes I am insane today incase you are wondering.
First off, a Klingon Bird of Prey can kick a Star Destroyers butt, but I am not here to discusss that. I am here to tell you the truth about Jerk of the Galaxy Obiwan.
When someone becomes a Jedi he must be initiated in a Jedi Hazing Ritual. Luke Skywalker did not know this but Obiwan really put a good one over his head. Obiwan went too far with his naked Jedi fantasies... In the Republics hey day this was common knowledge. As a matter of fact, Annikan Skywalker was a victim of a Jedi Hazing Ritual gone very bad... and guess who planned that ritual???? OBIWAN!!! MAn I hate this guy..
I am going to show you that Obiwan faked his death, ran around the Death Star naked, the Yoda faked his death, ran off into the woods naked, and Darth VAder peed in his armor... yes, even Darth Vader was in on the joke, he was so bitter about living in a mobile life support suit his twisted mind couldn't care about torturing his own son. Let me detail this out to you.
1st lets study Obiwan's character:
1. You think Obiwan is a swell fellow? I hate to break this to you but he is a liar!
A. He told Luke "Vader betrayed and murdered your father." But WE know the truth! When Luke confronted the so called "ghost" of Obiwan he tried to cover up his lie with "what I told you was true, from a certain point of view." What a load of bantha poo doo! Even Luke wasn't suckered enough to believe that one.
2. Obiwan wasn't a goody two shoes light Jedi.
A. He trained under Qui Gon, who was trained by Dooku who we know is a Sith.
B. Yoda himself told Obiwan "Qui Gons defiance I sense in you." It is evident Obiwan had an attitude problem.
So far, we have established that Obiwan is a jerk and can not be trusted. Now lets look at the evidence that he is a pervet who likes to walk around naked with a little green man named Yoda.
Evidence #1 - The "disapearing" death
Up until Obiwan fought Darth Vader in Episode 4, no Jedi had ever disapeared and became "one with the force". What a joke! What Obiwan merely did was use a common Jedi Mind trick called "force persuade" to make himself invisible to everyone and strip off his clothes and run off with his wrinkled member swinging freely about the Death Star! What a pervert! You might object and say "but the Death Star was destroyed so he would have died." That is a good objection for a Padawan. But think.. who was the sole survivor of the Death Star? Yup.... Darth Vader!! Obiwan was on board Darth Vaders tie fighter, naked I might add, using the force to mess with Lukes mind saying things like "USE THE FORCE LUKE" as he was flying the Xwing. Luke looking around asking "Ben?" Vader obviously grabbing the wrong flight stick while piloting the Tie fighter caused Obiwan to say "LET GO!!!"
Obiwan and Vader were in it together. They ARE FRIENDS!
Evidence #2 - Obiwans "GHOST"
Obiwans ghost was merely a holograph projection, much like the Leahs "Help me Obiwan kenobi" speel recorded in R2-D2. And LUKE FELL FOR IT! He never noticed holograms and ghosts looked the same! The sucker. If you think this is far fetched, just think to yourself, is it a coincidence that Obiwan's "GHOST" appeared to Luke at the same time the Empire was sending down probe droids to Hoth? I think not. The probe droids were projecting the Holgram where Obiwan tells Luke to go see Yoda, so obviously Yoda is in on the gag.
Evidence 3- Yoda, the green little perv
When Luke found out Vader was indeed his father the Jedi Hazing was almost about to unravel, so what does Yoda do? He fakes his death like Obiwan using "force persuade" and getting naked and running off into the woods. When Luke was talking to R2, almost emotionally destroyed, believing all his freinds were dieing he said he couldn't face Vader. I bet Yoda and Obiwan, after pointing and laughing at each others shirveled naked bodies were hiding in the bushed laughing! How cruel. They were probably broadcasting the message to Vader was peeing in his armor with laughter. Jerk pervin Jedis.
This is sick and twisted I call all of you to think twice before thinking highly of Obiwan and Yoda. Luke Skywalker barely made it out alive from this joke. Lets pray that Luke puts and end to the maddness after ROTJ.
The end
yes I am insane today incase you are wondering.
