Things that don't make sense!

[CyberPitz]

Why is it that people say they ?slept like a baby? when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on ?insufficient funds? when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn?t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an ?S? in the word ?lisp??

What is the speed of darkness?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it?s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If it?s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Can you cry underwater?

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder??

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ?I think I?ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out??

Who was the first person to say, ?See that chicken there? I?m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it?s bum.?

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don?t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They?re both dogs !

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from ?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog?s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

http://rankyspanky.com/2006/12/23/why-or-true-things-which-do-not-make-sense

This gave me lots of laughs.

 

[Instinct]

Yeah they always raise a smile.

 

[Stigmata]

A few of these are really stupid. A few are lol worthy though!

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? In case the buttons are malfunctioning, durr.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Nobody's going to spend time contesting the accuracy of the number of stars in the sky.

What is the speed of darkness? :|

If the temperature is zero outside today and it?s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be? Technically the temperature will be twice as far away from your skin's normal temperature as it was today

Can you cry underwater? No, tears don't release when water is against the eyes. :|

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? More difficult

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

 

[CyberPitz]

this was my favorite...

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Because I starting it..then read on..was like "LOL!"

 

[mindless_moder]

i dont see why this is funny or stupid
"Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ?? "
if a person is blind from birth its fairly reasonable to assume that they don't have a concept of form and structure .

 

[The Monkey]

I can answer this one

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??
If they are blind since birth, they dream in sounds, smells etc., but not in images. If they got blind later they dream in images as well.

 

[Smoke]

i dont see why this is funny or stupid
"Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ?? "
if a person is blind from birth its fairly reasonable to assume that they don't have a concept of form and structure .

PARTY POOPER

 

[Gunner]

Sounds like Jerry Seinfeld's standup material...

 

[Geogaddi]

There is a light in the freezer, bitchtits.

 

[CyberPitz]

There is a light in the freezer, bitchtits.

Not mine!

Or ANY freezer I've opened up. \=

 

[<RJMC>]

Not mine!

Or ANY freezer I've opened up. \=

what if hav a candle inside?

 

[DEATHMASTER]

This doesn't make sense D:
http://www.halflife2.net/forums/showpost.php?p=2137022&postcount=101

 

[Rim-Fire]

Why is it that people say they ?slept like a baby? when babies wake up every two hours?

Because when people see a baby sleeping it looks very cute and it's a nice image people have in their heads and apply it when someone is sleeping in a maner that looks somewhat cute or babyish. That or when a baby sleeps their damn well glad it's sleeping and they're damn well glad that the guy they're appling the clich? to is sleeping.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

No

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Because the button may simply be stuck or unresponsive.

Why do banks charge a fee on ?insufficient funds? when they know there is not enough?

Because banks want to make money so they charge fees.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Because counting starts is tedious and practically impossible while checking paint is an easy task (you can usually smell if for God's sake).

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

So the corpse does not get a bacterial infection that excelled rotting or deformation.

Why doesn?t Tarzan have a beard?

Because the director was an idiot.

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Because actors don't like getting hit in the face with revolvers.

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

1: It houses the communication equipment.
2: If they bang their heads and get knocked out they won't reach their target

Whose idea was it to put an ?S? in the word ?lisp??

ME! MUAHHAHAHAHHAHHA

What is the speed of darkness?

Darkness is the absense of light, it is an abstract concept and therefore does not have a measurable speed. Another answer is the same (or greater) as the speed of light but this is a rather pointless answer as the speed of light varies depending on the medium it is currently in.

If the temperature is zero outside today and it?s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Taking the question to be zero degrees Centigrade and the correct measure or temperature to be the Kelvin or Apsolute scale then it would be 273K today and 273/2K tomorrow which is 136.5K or -136.5 degrees Centigrade.

Taking the question to be zero degrees Fahrenheit and the correct measure or temperature to be the Kelvin or Apsolute scale then it would be 255K today and 255/2K tomorrow which is 127.5K or -233 degrees Fahrenheit.

If it?s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Whatever the hell they want.

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Studies show that, statisticly, married people live longer than single people.

Can you cry underwater?

Yes.

How is it that we put a man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Because people don't nessisarily have good ideas in any particualar order.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

To see them from a different perspective, also, they where too stupid to bring their own.

Did you ever stop and wonder??

Yes.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ?I think I?ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out??

I imagine someone who had studied cows and their young and knew what the hell we was doing.

Who was the first person to say, ?See that chicken there? I?m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it?s bum.?

Someone who knew eggs were edible.

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Because it is possible to put other things into a toaster than sliced pan bread, things that take higher temperatures.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

There's a light in my freezer...

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don?t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Because one do not wear a bathroom on one's bum, you do however (in general) wear a watch on one's wrist.

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?

Perhaps to prepare their equipment.

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They?re both dogs !

One is anthromorphic, the other isn't.

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??

People who were born blind or have been blind from an early age do not see their dreams, people who were inflicted with blindness at a later age do see their dreams. (Almost) all people dream.

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)

Quizes are not, by definition, quizzical.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
then what is baby oil made from ?

Check the ingredients section of the bottle.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?

Electricity does not come from electrons.

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

To make it easier to remember them.

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

I wasn't...

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

They recieve all the same nutrients and vitamines as literate people do.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog?s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

When you blow in a persons face they get mad at you, but they go on rollercoasters.

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

No.

 

[Stigmata]

<snip>

Killjoy.

<3

 

[The Monkey]

PARTY POOPER

Wasn't much of a party to start with, was it?

 

[depth9000]

lol @ all the noobs who tried to answer all those questions. I actually tried, but by the time I was done answering them and clicked on the "Submit Reply" button I was asked to login, but once I did that my cookie was gone and I lost my work

 

[Ravioli]

why do people believe in God?

 

[depth9000]

Existentialist angst; and, on a second thought, because it helps keep society under control.

 

[Remus]

^Yes that and because most people need something to believe in.

 

[Stigmata]

Or people are raised into believing that they need something to believe in, when society gives them all the direction they need in the first place.

 

[Core407]

Or people are raised into believing that they need something to believe in, when society gives them all the direction they need in the first place.

Society gives direction? If anything, it's the opposite. Society is what ****s people up.

 

[Remus]

And last but not least: What is the meaning of life?

 

[Geogaddi]

Society gives direction? If anything, it's the opposite. Society is what ****s people up.

But it's still giving direction, even if it's not the best.

 

[Uriel]

why do people believe in God?

Personal experiences

 

[Geogaddi]

Personal experiences

Is that like people that can "feel" God?

 

[Uriel]

That too, a lot of it has been answered prayers.

 

[Geogaddi]

I quit praying a while ago and things that I want to happen still happen sometimes.

 

[depth9000]

No they don't

 

[Hectic Glenn]

Killjoy.

<3

Heh, I'm with you on that, it's just something which is funny and light hearted and breaking it down and answering to every question seriously is not reading material for me, especially in the holiday season!

 

[Shift]

And last but not least: What is the meaning of life?

Why do people fail to see that its such a simple question, the meaning of life is to serve a purpose, no matter how small, that contributes to the life cycle. Its basically whatever you want the meaning to be.

Oh and for one of those questions about kamikazi pilots? They did not get into a plane for the sole purpose of crashing it into a ship, if they could get back they would, they would only commit suicide if they had ran out of ammo before the fight was over, or they were hit to which they would try to steer their plane into a ship.

 

[joule]

Why do you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

 

[Shift]

Because you feel like it?

 

[function9]

Why are there knee socks when they never stay up. ;(

 

[NeptuneUK]

Why does everything need to have a meaning to it?
Stop overanalysing! Maybe there is no 'meaning' to life.

 

[Que-Ever]

42 lol?

 

[MiccyNarc]

<snip crap>

Smartass. :|

 

[Stigmata]

Maybe there is no 'meaning' to life.

:|

*slits wrists*

 

[<RJMC>]

the meaning of life is to **** and breed more humans to ruin the world

 

[CyberPitz]

Smartass. :|

What I was thinking. This wasn't serious FFS. Something to give a chuckle. Didn't find it funny, move along.

sheesh

 

[Stigmata]

the meaning of life is to **** and breed more humans to ruin the world

And ruining the world would mean the end of civilization, which is, in effect, suicide... D:

*continues slitting*