This is funny/scarey

Oooo I read that a while ago, you can actually order them...
People are funity
 
Damn this could be useful! It has always been a dream of mine to become bodily immortal!
 
Hmmm...

"My invention allows the user to cure old wounds and scars to free the jammed circulation of the body. Without Eternal Life Device, old wounds and scars do not heal back 100 percent to their original structures. Only with The Eternal Life Device can a man one day have his body healed itself back to perfect. With a perfect body, you are suppose to look extraordinary beautiful. Your eyes are clear, your arms and legs are strong, your organs function great! Your IQ will break 180! You are to be young and beautiful forever!! How? You must make your body perfect, no damage or close to no damage, in order to become the super race! "

Super race eh?.. Reminds me of a certain Adolf.H
 
That guy Alex Chiu... is freaking me out. :D

I mean, jeez. That crap is so dumb. :D

I liked this part:
I am not one of those stupid moron who don't know what I am doing. I know about FDA. FDA raids hundreds of small businesses every year that deal with alternative medicine or therapy. They take away your computer, seize your $200,000 inventory, and drive your company totally out of business in no time if they ever approach you. My prices are very low and reasonable. One phone call to the FDA by an unsatisfied customer then I'm in BIG trouble. The reason why I insist on publicizing the Eternal Life Device is because this really works!! This is the most incredible medicine in the world! I have to publicize it just for the sake of it! I have no choice but be brave and face the danger and laughter! So please don't email me insults. If I don't deserve your belief, at least I deserve your respect. ... There is a good reason why I am doing all this. BECAUSE IT WORKS!!! Isn't that cool? I'm selling eternal life right off of internet. If you want it, get it now! If you don't, its cool too! If you think I'm crazy, email [email protected], or Michael [email protected], or Dorothy [email protected]. They are users of my devices, and they will tell you the truth!
Click to expand...

Edit: LOL

Teleportation must be invented. If we don't invent teleportation, China will throw nuclear bomb everywhere. Especially now everyone can live forever.
Click to expand...
 
Haha listen to this!

"I was born in San Francisco in 1971. Since my parents were already talking about a divorce, right after my birth I was sent to Taiwan where my grand parents raised me up. I am not a Taiwanese. I am Chinese, and I wish China will one day take Taiwan back, peacefully or by force, at any cost! A Taiwanese who does not consider himself to be Chinese does not deserve to become immortal. So if that's you, my product is not for you."
 
Originally posted by FireBall
Haha listen to this!

"I was born in San Francisco in 1971. Since my parents were already talking about a divorce, right after my birth I was sent to Taiwan where my grand parents raised me up. I am not a Taiwanese. I am Chinese, and I wish China will one day take Taiwan back, peacefully or by force, at any cost! A Taiwanese who does not consider himself to be Chinese does not deserve to become immortal. So if that's you, my product is not for you."
Click to expand...

LOL. That guy is sick!
 
Yeah, it is rather scarey isn't it, I just thought you lot might get a few chuckles out of it :)
 
Alternative medicine is a lot like alternative lifestyles... gay.

-Mr. Bildo
 
Ha Ha what a loser, this guy reminds me of the "monorail Guy" from the simpsons:cheese:
BTW-Telsa didnt invent the radio, it was Marconi
 
Since it doesn't work can't you sue him for false advertisment?

EDIT:

At the bottom of his page he tells you to search something so I did and the first page I get says this.

Immortality Rings

6/27/00



Remember that Immortality ring site I was trying to get you to go to? Well, thanks to your faithfullness (or gullibility) I got forty hits, and Alex Chiu sent me a free pair of rings. On the instructions, it says to try them for thirty days before complaining or anything. So... I'll try them for thirty days. In the meantime, I'll give YOU an update on what's going on with me as I truck along my very own quest for immortality.


Day 1: Well... they were right. I didn't sleep well tonight. It just MIGHT be because these stupid rings cut into your fingers. I don't FEEL any different, but I don't know if I got the full effects tonight or not... the smallest size is too big for my pinkies and the rings won't sit still.

Day 2: Ok... I slept better tonight, but I was tired as crap from the night before. Still no feeling of immortality. I managed to stretch the plastic in a not so good way to where the rings are smaller now. They don't move around now, but they seem to cut off my circulation instead of speed it up.

Day 3: Didn't notice too much... I slept normal, but not much else.

Day 4: Hmmm... seem to have lost one of the fricking rings. Hope it doesn't effect my eternal youth any...

Day 5: Found the ring. I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday. Compared to all the other times I've gotten my wisdom teeth out, I'd say this had to have been the least painful time. Well... Actually I've never gotten them out before. But this isn't too bad. I dunno. Rings? Maybe...

Day 6: Lost my arm in a lawn mower accident. I started panicking, but I put a ring on my good arm, then one on my severed one, and stuck it back in it's socket. Magically my arm healed! Well... not really. These things are a bummer.

Day 7: All that work to get the durn free rings, and no results. I'm not even feeling SLIGHTLY Imortal. What's the deal?

Day 8: My mom walked in this morning and saw the rings on my fingers. She asked what they were, and I told her. She says she heard somewhere that magnets are bad for you and made you sick so not to wear them anymore or you're grounded. So... this experiment is officially closed, with the results inconclusive
 
Ahh Alex Chiu - thats a classic. He ranks up there with the Icy Hot Stuntaz and The Asian Prince.
 
What are you guys talking about!!??
He invented a way to live forever, he must be a genius! :cheese:
Everything on the Internet is true!
I've read that on the Internet.
 
Originally posted by Idolon
Everything on the Internet is true!
I've read that on the Internet.
Click to expand...

lol :LOL:

That Alex Chiu stuff HAS to be a joke. If it's not, I've lost my faith in humanity. That site is full on priceless stuff. :D
 
Isn't putting Magnets on bad for you?

I'm sure that it does something to the circulation in your body, or some such thing.....oh well

That guys a psycho.... he really scare me, with some of the stuff on there, and whats worse, is that he probably believes they work himself?!?
 
Originally posted by Stone
I'm sure that it does something to the circulation in your body, or some such thing.....oh well
Click to expand...
Yes, it improves the circulation giving you the gift of immortality, you obviously weren't paying attention.
All of you can laugh now, but when Alex and his invincible army take over the world, then you won't be so cocky.
I gotta get me some magnets.....
 
LOL Hazza

...OMG, even his pop-ups are scary -

"A Polite Ad [tm] courtesy of TrafficMultiplier.com"

WTF! Polite?? COURTESY??? And what's with the trademark :|
 
Originally posted by Bad^Hat
"A Polite Ad [tm] courtesy of TrafficMultiplier.com"
Click to expand...

Wow, how kind of the people at trafficmultiplyer.com to give you a nice polite ad and for free as well!
It's a shame I can't see it due to my po up blocker, but that doesn't really make much difference anyway, as I can't get the link to work.
 
did anyone else read his guide to world peace? *shivers*
awesome illustrations...
 
well-informed quote:
"China now has approximately 1.28 billion people. Once China reaches 1.6 billion, China will blow up!"
-Alex Chiu
 
Originally posted by Hazza
Yes, it improves the circulation giving you the gift of immortality, you obviously weren't paying attention.
All of you can laugh now, but when Alex and his invincible army take over the world, then you won't be so cocky.
I gotta get me some magnets.....
Click to expand...

Hark, no actually, just phoned my professor friend (well ok my friends dad) and asked him about it, and its believed to cause clots :cheese:
 
;( Why did you have to ruin my perfectly harmless (apart from when I get clots and die) fantasy.
Damn, there goes another chance at immortality.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Ennui
HL2 20th Anniversary Update + Documentary
Replies
8
Views
354
Xtremecherry95YT
Xtremecherry95YT
Krynn72
You guys, what the **** is up.
Replies
11
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
HL2.NET HORROR SLAP
Replies
7
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
To Those That Stand, Those That Fell
Replies
6
Views
2K
Tollbooth Willie
Tollbooth Willie
Lizardizzle
Latest Member: Test User
Replies
24
Views
3K
Xtremecherry95YT
Xtremecherry95YT
Back
Top