This shit just got real...

Bad^Hat

Bad^Hat

The Freeman
Joined
May 13, 2003
Messages
19,983
Reaction score
530
Real... ****ing lame, that is!

Holy c*ntcyclef*ckwadshitberryshitf*cksshits is all I have to say. I saw this trailer before the Simpsons movie and it actually made me physically angry. I honestly wanted to kick something, and there were several small, puntable looking children nearby.

Hollywood (or whoever churns this shit out at 3 miles a second) just got reeeeeally ****ing desperate. And lame. And they smell.

Watch at your own peril -

http://www.apple.com/trailers/lions_gate/bratz/


Disclaimer: I am not responsible for wasted bandwidth or deflated testacles incurred by the above movie.
 
*a face of sheer terror*

The world is truely coming to an end.
 
Bawhahahaha I saw the trailer for that before Die Hard 4.0 and was close to vomiting.

I share your pain :(
 
Looking good, one to add to the DVD collection.

You know what, it hurts just even saying that.
 
God help me, I fsckin' lol'd hard when that guy said, "Leave me alone."
 
YEY! Fake plastic women ftmfw.
 
Ah, yes, I saw that trailer! Me and my male teenage friends are all going to go and provide insightful social commentary.

- Whenever the protagonist tries to buck the system and take down the popular queen bee villain I will shriek "she's a communist! a filthy, filthy communist!" I may ruin it for all the tween girls and their moms attending, but screw them anyway for watching this trash.

- I will also loudly inform the audience "I'd hit that" whenever an attractive cast member appears on screen

- When the protagonist gives her inspiring speech near the end (you know she will) I will dismiss it with a thunderous "Crimethink!"

- For all of you who'd dismiss me as an asshole, I suggest you rewatch the trailer.
 
This inspired a lot of hatred from me, and yet I don't know why. Yeah, it looks like another crappy teeny-bopper movie. But this broke the threshold for some reason.

There's an evil lurking somewhere behind it.
 
Absinthe, you're on the other side of the country from me, but we can both go on opening day and mock the film together in spirit.
 
;( This is proof that there is no god!

*cries in a corner*

Ah, yes, I saw that trailer! Me and my male teenage friends are all going to go and provide insightful social commentary.

- Whenever the protagonist tries to buck the system and take down the popular queen bee villain I will shriek "she's a communist! a filthy, filthy communist!" I may ruin it for all the tween girls and their moms attending, but screw them anyway for watching this trash.

- I will also loudly inform the audience "I'd hit that" whenever an attractive cast member appears on screen

- When the protagonist gives her inspiring speech near the end (you know she will) I will dismiss it with a thunderous "Crimethink!"

- For all of you who'd dismiss me as an asshole, I suggest you rewatch the trailer.
Click to expand...

You are a god among mere men *salutes*
 
Oh god, I'll sneak into this *I'm not paying...* and I'll mock it to DEATH.
 
For your sake mindless_moder, I give you a summation in brief of the trailer.

First we are introduced to the three protagonists: coming from a wide variety of racial and ethnic backgrounds: the ivory blonde white chick, the sandy blonde white chick, one vaguely furrin' lookin' chick (semi-Asian/Hispanic maybe), whatever, let's call her brunette white chick, and the token black gal. They are "BFFs", clearly some form of Newspeak I am unfamiliar with.

An extremely attractive and blonde girl (because as we know, only blonds instinctively take command of any social situation), meets them, and courteously explains the system to help them smoothly integrate into the high school, even providing a helpful chart where they may meet people with similar interests to theirs and become fast friends. In typical rebellious teen fashion, they stay together.

Luckily, like any organism, the student body reacts against these foreign bodies, and the BFFs (whatever the hell that is) are quickly filed into the group that will bring them maximal happiness. The blonde girl who helped them integrate (named Meredith, like my cousin), rejoices that the system reflexively defends itself, and looks forward to a harmonious and well-organized school environment, with her rightfully at its head (although worrisomely, while blonde and pale-skinned, she has brown eyes. Possible untermensch? We must investigate).

In deference to all high school films, a foodfight breaks out by accident, although it sadly does not compare to the foodfight in Animal House. Chaos reigns when people try to break out of their clique and interact (as evidenced by the spaghetti flying everywhere), vindicating Meredith's selfless attempts to ensure harmony and happiness for every student.

Rightly punished for attempting to disrupt the flawless system, the BFFs are consumed by a thirst for petty vengeance and take it upon themselves ot destroy Meredith and all she's worked for. Quoth Machiavelli, "If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared." Sadly, Meredith has not learned this. After ruining her 16th birthday, which should be one of the happiest moments of a young girl's life, they then take it upon themselves to humiliate her again at the 'talent show' by, from what I saw, gyrating in a most unseemly manner.

There is also nonsensical and blatant product placement of clothes and various useless accessories for young girls to waste their time on, and the tagline of the film is OMG.

I however, believe the entire film can be summed up in one word: Crimethink.

EDIT: After some investigation, I discovered that Ms. Staub, the actress playing Meredith, is in fact of Teutonic descent. I sincerely apologize for the insinuation that she was an untermensch.
 
oh dear god. This makes me want to puke.

"OMG!!"
*sigh*
 
They're gonna throw in Myspace references anyway.

I'm talking the movie that will end the Earth.

An animated Bratz movie.

D:
 
There is an animated Bratz movie.

...Don't ask me how I know about that. Please.
 
some people must die

and now sluts have theyr visual bible
 
I though, "What the **** is he on about?"

Then I clicked the link.

Christ. Jesus, come back, all is forgiven.

Edit:
Thunderclap said:
For your sake mindless_moder, I give you a summation in brief of the trailer.
Click to expand...

YOU HAVE DESTROYED MY EYES. GOD DAMN MY CURIOSITY.
 
good god, i saw this on the trailers the last time i went to the movies, and they're RUINING our internet terms. such as "OMG" which they USED AT THE END OF THE TRAILER.
 
And the oscar for the biggest shit festival of the year goes to...
 
This reminds me of those cheesy girl, teen movies that you see come out in the Summer. They all must be made from Disney too but this is not.
Bratz_landscape_L.jpg
Why don't they just make a Barbie doll movie?
 
You know first we had Barbies, which was okay I suppose, then we had Bratz, which was kind of erm...well, suffice to say I anticipate the release of the "Hoz" film in the next 10-25 years...
 
DESSTROYER said:
good god, i saw this on the trailers the last time i went to the movies, and they're RUINING our internet terms. such as "OMG" which they USED AT THE END OF THE TRAILER.
Click to expand...

.. wait.. you watched the WHOLE trailer? Dude, you're hardcore.

Thunderclap said:
You know first we had Barbies, which was okay I suppose, then we had Bratz, which was kind of erm...well, suffice to say I anticipate the release of the "Hoz" film in the next 10-25 years...
Click to expand...

I await the 2056 release of "Cum Dumpstarz".
 
I'm still waiting for the trend where child molestation becomes cool.

IT'LL ****ING HAPPEN.
 
God dammit. The ad has been aired endlessly and without remorse lately. ****. No.

Bad^Hat said:
I'm still waiting for the trend where child molestation becomes cool.

IT'LL ****ING HAPPEN.
Click to expand...
Don't worry Stovepipe Hat...Our day will come.
 
I saw the trailer. They seemed to give away the entire plot (Not much :p) in it. Why the hell would they do that?
 
Well, kids these days have an attention span the length of a fuc-Look at the doggy!
 
Over in that suicide booth! Hurry before these Bratz kill any more of our precious brain cells!
 
I came in here expecting a bad movie, so I clicked the link. As soon as the page loaded and I saw the "Bratz" logo... I punched the shit out of my monitor.

riomhaire said:
I saw the trailer. They seemed to give away the entire plot (Not much :p) in it. Why the hell would they do that?
Click to expand...
Because the people who would go see that movie dont even know what the word plot means.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top